Saturday, January 5, 2008

Poster Couple for FLR

Regardless of what I may have claimed or you assumed based on my writing, MW and I are not exactly the poster couple for FLR.

We, in the FLR movement, all have our own idea of what a dominant leading female and what a submissive male should be. Even though we largely agree in principle, I am willing to bet that not two of us would agree 100 percent on the details. The problem is that there are degrees of leaders and followers, and even the ideal combination is impossible to define. So how do we deal with the rest of us? I don’t know, but in any case, it is great fun pursuing, experiencing, comparing, and arguing the details.

For example, MW is not what I would call a typical alpha female. She is not even what I would call a great leader (she will probably have my ass in a vulnerable position for this). In the same vein, I am definitely not less than an alpha male, and I am somewhat of a leader, so I am totally unsuited to be a submissive. But neither comment by me should detract from the wonderful FLR that MW and I have. How can that be? Let me point out the ways.

I will be elaborating on the following covenant that are the bases of our FLR. Please withhold instinctive reactions to throw stones at me until you have read my description of the individual subject. Then comment all you want:

  1. I Have Given to Her the Authority over Me
  2. She is the De-facto leader
  3. She Is not Expected to Do or not Do what I Require
  4. She Has the Last Word
  5. She Is not Expected to Give me a Life of My Fantasy
    And one final issue based on the above,
  6. What if We Give Up on FLR?

I will give you the first installment here. You will have to wait for the others.

Poster Couple for FLR Part 1 - I Have Given to Her the Authority over Me

Oh my, that means that I had the power to do so in the first place!

Well, yes, in a way. A non-violent person does not just take over another person in our society. It takes both persons to accomplish that takeover. So, regardless of who does what to whom, at least in our case, I willingly gave to her the authority over me. That is not true in a legal sense unless backed up by the courts, but then we are not talking about that. We are talking about a loving personal relationship with one of the partners in charge.

This is not the “slavery” position in which I would have no property, no access to possessions, no social relationship, no outside world, unless she provides it. No, this is more of a benign ownership where the owner (MW) has my best interest while making sure that I do all that is expected of me in our behalf. This is easy for her, because it does not change anything outside of our FLR, but within the FLR she has all the rights. It is up to her what rights to exercise and what rights to allow me to exercise.

In a way the situation is comical. To the casual observer I am just a polite fellow. Only MW knows why I still do everything that I am expected to do even when we are with the unenlightened people. She is realistic enough to not expect me to do anything that would jeopardize our way of life, so we maintain a low profile unless we are in assured privacy. Only, MW and I know who holds my balls, so to speak, and I am very happy with it. This is sane and thrilling at the same time.

I will be dealing with the other parts of our covenant later. Do any of you care to comment on this part?

1 comment:

whatevershesays said...

Love your blog. I agree with you that her control over you is because you "let" her.

We had friends over one time and in a follow up phone call regarding swapping some pictures our friend, a woman, said that I "worship" my wife. It wasn't in a wife-led, kinky way, just a loving way. Maybe she'll become enlightened some day. LOL