Wednesday, December 30, 2009

She Remembered Me

For a couple of days now she has been hinting that I should be rewarded for my good service. I usually don’t say anything because I don’t want to agree or disagree with her. She can decide on her own.

Yesterday afternoon she sent me to town to buy some grass-fed no-hormone ground beef for her barbecued hamburger. I went out, and braved the damned winter visitors in the isles of the store, in the parking lots, and on the highway. After returning I took care of some chores, did another bout of weight lifting, and then settled down to do some writing. As the evening progressed she let me know that the hamburger was ready to be torched. I dropped everything (my stuff, that is) and lit up the barbecue. With our canine beasts helping me I was done with the meat in about half an hour. By then she had all else prepared for the feast. We had an enjoyable meal. After that I cleaned up the dishes, trash, etc., and went back to my writing.

She summoned me to the bedroom where she was laying out some ropes that were already attached to the four corners our playground. She told me to shower. I did, and then shaved. When I came out of the bathroom she pointed to the bed where I should lie down. Not being too dense I figured that she wanted me on my back. I complied. She proceeded to attach ropes to my extremities, and then pulled one of her sexy panties over my head that obscured my vision. She dropped a CD into the player, and left.

The music playing was one of our favorites, so for a while I lay there enjoying it. The problem began when I had a hint of a sinful thought, and my Little Guy did his thing. Sort of like in the crappy old TV show, The Incredible Hulk. The only difference here was that, whereas the Hulk would split out of his clothes due to the increase of size, the Little Guy tried, but was unable to do so. That evil Kali’s Teeth Bracelet that MW had me put on that morning was unyielding. The consequence was a lot of bulging of cock on both sides of the rows of shark teeth. At first I became aware of the slight pain. As time progressed, maybe an hour into the session the CD expired. I hoped that MW would come and rescue us.

She came, replaced the CD with another favorite, and then left. And so began my second hour of torture. I tried every thought to help diminish the bulges around the device. None worked. For the next hour I dealt with the pain. In a way it did get my mind off being cold, thirsty, and needing to go to the bathroom. The pain was the center of my attention.

I was counting the tracks as they played. Toward the end of the CD’s repertoire MW returned. Upon my hearing her steps I pleaded wit her to release The Big Guy. Using some cutting instruments she managed to release him while causing more pain with the process. I had so much pain in the area that I could not tell when the bracelet was off. It was only after she began to massage the Big Guy with some lotion that I realized the freedom given to us. My thinking quickly adapted from pain to pleasure, then back again when she applied tight clamps to my tits. Actually, I wished she would do so even before it happened. My tits are part of my pleasure-pain mechanism that works on my mind.

She continued with the Big Guy and I wished that she would sit on my face. I guess she did not want to overwhelm me with pleasure, so my lips remained unoccupied. After that it did not take long for me to blow my stuff all over my chest. She did not say anything, but released my hands and ankles one by one. She left me lying on my back.

“I assume that you are done with me?” I said after a while.

“What do you think?” she answered. “You may want to shower.”

I did. The hot water on my poor abused cock was painful. In a way it was another gift from her. By the time I returned she had a tray of tea, cake, and fruit for me. Isn’t she great?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Idiots Are Still In Charge

If you fly commercial airlines you can feel safe because everybody is thoroughly checked before boarding a flight. That includes the pilot, copilot, and little old broads in wheelchairs to make sure that they don’t carry bazookas between their legs, etc.

Of course, that does not cover the real danger. The maniac in this case was allowed to board a flight even though he fit the exact profile of a would be terrorist: young male, features shared with all know terrorists so far (Arabic or Middle Eastern), carrying no luggage, buying a one-way ticket with cash, encased in explosive underwear. Oh yeah, there were other things known about him, but in order to be politically correct, nothing was done.

The head of the US Homeland Insecurity is Janet Napolitano. She dumped the Arizona governorship to accept this position offered by Obama. In a statement to CNN referring to this incident she said, "… the system worked." Can anyone tell me what part of what system worked?

Napolitano is in charge, but she is either a puppet or an idiot. We should fire her and the whole bunch that she oversees and contract homeland security to somebody like Blackwater. We would save what we now waste on salaries of bureaucrats and the workers who are, by policy, not allowed to act with common sense. We would not be violated every time we fly, and they would catch the murdering bastards before they board a plane. Of course, our current administration would try the would-be terrorists in civilian courts and let them off on technicalities, but at least the fanatics would be out of business in the mean time. It seems that we have more to fear from our politicians and appointed bureaucrats who make this policy than from the fanatics who want to kill us.

Friday, December 25, 2009


The Gift That Is Not Given

Some of you continue living in Neverland. For the nonce it is good. You can convince yourselves that it is real and that it will never change. She has taken charge of your sexual needs and does or does not do what you really want. You keep going serving her while you get some bits of gratitude here and there, and you are happy with it. I have been there. For all I know, I am still there. But there is a problem that is not part of the sexual gratification of a female led relationship. It has to do with deeper commitments and pseudo-obligations.

I grew up loving Christmas. It is a Christian made holiday, and I have no problem with it. The way my family approached it while I was a child was benign. If we had the resources, we gave presents to one another. When resources were scarce we rejoiced in the spirit, and not blamed would-be gift givers.

As my children grew in a slightly different venue, expectations were different. A gift was expected. If not given or received, the would-be giver was in deep shit. That is me.

Now it is years later, and my children don’t expect much from me in the way of things for gifts. But my wife does.

I am not a fucking saint. I don’t claim to be the best husband or the only virile and most ardent lover to MW. Well, I am the only one, as it turns out, but still, I try not to take unearned credit. The thing is, I persevere. I am there for her at all times. I do things for her even when she does not ask. It is my nature to be kind to her and to give her all that she wants and needs. I seldom fail. Even when I am ill I provide her needs. I have never denied her anything that was within my power. Even when I am tired I give her comfort. I always give her love. That is not sex, although I would never withhold sex from her. It is love and kindness. I feel the same about our children and their significant others. I don’t judge their behavior, and I don’t hold a grudge when they do something shitty. I may not like it, but I get over it.

Then there are these holidays when I am expected to give a gift. In our opulent society it is difficult to find a gift that is meaningful. Electronic gadgets are no longer appreciated since they are generally up our assess already. Clothing is a no-gift item, since that too, is so plentiful that one more tee shirt with a message will end up in the charity items the next day. Food is not a gift item anyway, since it is plentiful and wasted already. So I try to think of something that is personal, from me to her, and not one thing that anyone could give her but me. Well, I have had many of those. The problem is that these gifts I have been giving all along during the rest of the year, and come Christmas time, one more just does not count. After all, having given hundreds of such gifts, one more is just un-noticeable, down in the mud. Maybe a diamond would be noticed, but then, I cannot afford one, so here I am. What to give her?

And so goes Christmas, and so I am in deep shit. I still do my thing in serving her, but that is of no importance. It’s the gift that I did not give that counts. The days will go on, and I will keep giving. But the gift that I did not give will be unforgiven. I am tired. I am ready to do away with this kind of Christmas.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Remarkable Ass

My ass is remarkable. Not that I can actually look at it directly and say in appreciation, “Now, that’s remarkable!” Far from it. For one thing, my neck and head don’t swivel that far. Looking in the mirror is a poor substitute. I have never seen my ass the way another person could. I am not suggesting that I would be turned on by watching my own ass that way. Well, maybe, on the occasions when nothing or nobody is planning to use it I could get enough of an incentive to do some well deserved self-gratification on the other side. But that is not as satisfying as being involved by another who has a need to satisfy, and she knows that I can provide that need. Whoa! This is what gets me going.

MW has a kinky way of looking at my ass. If the said ass does not have a recent pattern of her appreciation, it should; therefore, she wants to make it look proper. This is not the so-called over the knee punishment. This is not recurring discipline that “a man needs”. This is her artistic need to impart patterns onto my vulnerable lily-white cheeks to satisfy her creative needs. My ass must look like it belongs to her, and the best way is for her to do that is to leave her mark.

She has done some carving leaving her permanent mark. It is barely discernible after the several years, but it still shows up during temperature changes. She has tattooed to a very small extent, and it too, is noticeable if you look closely. She has not given up on permanent marks yet. However, her most notable contributions are the ones that linger for a while, and then need to be remarked usually via canes, whips, paddles, etc.

I have posted a number of such occasions. While I receive the marking, it hurts. At that moment I would want it to stop hurting. When it is over, I would not change it for anything. It is a gift from MW, very personal, and somewhat lasting. Some days or weeks later, they are to be renewed for her satisfaction. Her satisfaction is my joy.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Comptuters: You Hate Them, But You Can't Live Without Them

Sea Level

I was meeting relatives for a few days’ stay at a California resort last week. I had a great time. On the way home out of the valley the terrain sloped upward as I headed east. After a half hour on the Interstate highway I encountered a sign, “Sea Level”. That was after I was somewhat above the place where I spent the last few days. I know that the nearby Salton Sea in southern California was formed during one of the floods that occur periodically. The area is generally below sea level, so it makes sense. The unexpected thing about it is that it was before the so-called “man made global warming”, I guess, “woman made global warming” may have been a factor, but then, there were not enough pseudo-scientists then to tout that, so we really don’t know. If we are indeed in a global warming phase, then we should expect that the sea level will rise a couple of inches over the next century, so the resort I visited may have to invest in some sandbags. I suppose the rent for a night’s stay will go up appropriately at that time.

Vexing Problems

I have been using an ancient laptop computer on the few occasions while away from home. It has been sufficient to keep up with my email and instant messaging with MW. On this last trip I ran into its limitations: ran out of swap space for virtual memory on the main drive. Even after doing some well-justified maintenance, the processor was still thrashing, so all activities were slow. In addition, a slow wireless connection and internet supplier made it a frustrating experience. I love a challenge, but this one had no solution. I concluded that I needed a more recently made laptop computer with larger hard drive, more RAM, built-in high speed wireless card, and larger display. I did some research on low-end laptops, and found some that would work as a replacement. Alas, none come with the choice of my operating system.

What There Is …

I am a Windows type user. I have used a MAC on and off, and I can tolerate it for specialties, such as graphics. However, for general use, I prefer Windows. In the last decade or so since Microsoft introduced Windows XP I have grown used to its quirks and foibles, and lived with it. Every few months the gigabytes of updates and security patches are added to its existing repertoire, and all is well for a while. It is not perfect, but unless one is into Unix and derivatives, there is no alternative. Sure, Vista was introduced with fanfare a scant few years ago. After reading the specifications, and comparing to XP, I realized that only the starry-eyed media fan would be impressed by it, so I dismissed it. Now, it appears that I was right. Microsoft supplanted Vista with still another improvement, this time over Vista as opposed to good old reliable XP: Windows 7. Here we go again.

I hoped that this time they had come up with real improvement. Alas, the only improvement so far is the “improvement over the improvement” introduced in the now essentially defunct Vista. That means, no real gain. The few gimmicks that they have introduced in this (essentially Beta version) are not worth the effort or expense to try to install it. Not only that, but you would likely need a more powerful machine to accommodate it. Then they have the 64-bit version option, which will just run up the bill without obvious benefit at this time when compared to a plain old 32-bit machine still running XP.

I would not be going to all this trouble to disparage Microsoft’s attempt to make a former OS obsolete so that they can cash in on the gullibility of the less informed buyer. But I have a problem. The new computers that I found for a reasonable price have either Vista or Windows 7 installed. I will definitely not buy one with Vista, because it is on its way out even before XP is abandoned. I don’t want Windows 7 at least in its current state of development, sometimes stupidly called, "state of the art". Since Microsoft relies on the gullible to buy it and report their problems and frustrations, it appears that they have a bunch of willing slaves to do their testing, no D/S reference intended. Applications long stable and designed to run on XP will have problems on Windows 7. Sure, there is an option of running an application in the “XP mode”. Being a realist I know that life is not that simple. For example, I use Norton 360 for a comprehensive security application on several computers under XP. I don’t see installing it and expecting it to do its job in the “XP mode” under Windows 7. If you believe that it will work just fine, I can sell you my ancient laptop: it too works just fine using XP, you will love it. Meanwhile, I may have to look for a reconditioned recent laptop computer that still has XP. You may call me a (realistic) Luddite, but at least what I have works.

Friday, December 11, 2009

What Do You Mean By Being In Charge?

Ancient History

I will take a side trip here to present my past. I married a woman barely of adult age who had absolutely no experience with men or being in charge of anything. Although she was college educated, she was "raised to be a wife". She was not at all dominant, and liked to shirk responsibility. To her, excuses were the way to handle things. This was basically the fault of her parents whose home had a hostile environment to anyone showing resistance.

I, on the other hand, even as a child, was used to being responsible for my own actions, and also to support those who relied on me. My parents taught me that, because all members of my family’s life depended on it. I did not believe in excuses other than, “I couldn’t do it on account of I was dead.”

My bride and I were complete opposites. Given this situation, one might guess that I was in charge in the marriage. You would be right. The problem was, that I did not really want to tell her to do everything. I figured that we each take responsibility for some of the household tasks, and just do them. I would also handle what she absolutely did not want to do, be it dealing with the dogcatcher or the Sheriff. I handled our meager finances, and I worked while going to school.

Under these conditions I was often angry when I had to do shitty things that she could have done, and it took an hour out of my four-hour-a-night sleep. Therefore, I ask you, “Who was in charge?” and if I was, “Did I have to tell her to do every damn thing?” and “Did she do what she was supposed to do as an underling?”

This did not last, of course, she learned, and I began to relax especially after getting my degree, finding a full time job, and getting maybe five hours of sleep a night. However, that did not end there. I still had to manage things otherwise they were not done.

Later on we figured things out, and this thing about who is in charge was no longer an issue: she did what she wanted, I did what was necessary, which is still the way we do it. What became different is that at some point I acknowledged her being in charge of me. She did not need tell me to do anything. I did all I could, and then some. I also loved to serve her. Once in a while she punished me for slacking on some of my assumed duties, and I had no objection. I became temporarily corrected, and life went on.

What we never did was to pretend that either one of us was a dummy who should have no thoughts or rights. It did not occur to either of us to change titles of our possessions to the person in charge. That would have been stupid, and a legal debacle in case one of us died, or in a divorce.

The General View

Most adults have worked for someone who “was in charge”. Some of us have been "in charge”, so we more or less know what that means. Still, I can ask ten people to define what it means to be in charge, and will get ten differing opinions with some overlap. It’s not because of disagreement of the basic understanding. It’s because we each have different expectations of the meaning.

I picked this topic because even though we speak the same language when it comes to FLR we seem to be going off in different directions. Female Led Relationship should have a basically simple definition: “The female is in charge.” But I already messed it up. Now I have to define what it means to be in charge.

With Respect to FLR

I challenge you to write in one concise sentence the meaning of “being in charge”. You can’t do it justice except in general. You need to write more. If you say, “My wife is in charge,” we have only a vague notion of what you mean. Let’s assume that the wife or female partner is in charge, and you, the male partner do what is expected.

  • Does she take away your rights in general?
  • Does she assume ownership of your community property?
  • Does she limit your behavior to the extent that you must ask her to do anything, like using the car to buy groceries?
  • Does she make financial decisions and leave you out?
  • Does she take away all of your money and give you an allowance of a ridiculously small amount?
  • Does she go out with friends of either sex and forbid you to do the same?
  • Does she deny you time off?
  • Does she discipline and punish you?
  • Etc.

All of the ideas covered by these questions have come up in the FLR blogs many times. Most of them are a man’s idea of his partner being in charge, as opposed to the woman's idea of what it takes.

Much of what goes on between couples is stylized role-play, although in some cases it is real. As long as they have an understanding of the basics of the FLR, there is no need for a contract or extreme rules. We each know what we are expected to do, and we do it. She may give you daily or weekly chores, a special list of chores, and set some rules of behavior for you. She may expect personal attention of sorts as part of her position. She does what she wants, but not in vacuum.

My Case

In case you wonder, of the questions above, only the last one applies in our relationship. If I get no acknowledgment for my services, I become testy and belligerent. A discipline session may correct me temporarily, but not on the long run. This relationship must be a give and take on both sides. However, I don’t need for her to be the person who does all the things I asked in the questions above. We do what is proper under the circumstances.

I also don’t need to be told explicitly to do my chores in boring detail unless she has some unusual requests, or unless I consistently do something that is against her expectations. Then I change my method, and she is happy until I mess up something else. The point is, that she delegates her power for me to execute. That includes investments, finances, home projects and repairs, and dealing with the law and occasionally with the vermin. For example, she accepts my leadership in investment and finances. She knows that I have a talent and the discipline to do it right, and that I am honest about it. When I decide something, it is because we have discussed the issue, we both know what is involved, and we agreed on what to do for our common good.

I could benefit from her scrutiny of some of the things that I do. For example, I tend to spend more on wine than I should. If she were to give me a rule to limit it or to stop entirely, and enforce it, it would be difficult, but I would comply.

As much as I love to be sexually dominated, things like my chastity, oral service to her, D/S sessions, and even some more kinky things are not the rule, but the exception. Well, maybe discipline and occasional punishment are the rule, but not in a rigid way.

To me the best part is the sexual domination, but I also get my kicks from discipline, and just doing nice things for her. And yes, the other things too that I have mentioned that I do.

One might say that ours is a vanilla relationship with an occasional kink. I like to think that it is an FLR with no contention and arguments and fights that a vanilla relationship often has, and we used to have. The reason is, that when she is finished telling me what to do, I do it. If her decision ends in undesirable outcome, well, she is in charge, and she is responsible. Of course, I would not follow her order to do something that I knew would hurt us. Other than that, she is the boss. We have not divorced over irreconcilable differences, and it is unlikely that we will. That may speak for our relationship.

Back To The General Case

I did not ask other questions (above) mainly because most would delve into sexually related subjects, and those are not really part of being in charge. They are more of personal preferences in power plays, and not necessarily requisite of FLR. They can certainly be part of FLR, and most men wish it. Then again, most women don’t seem to wish it. They may get some joy out of it on and off, but it does not drive their lives, like it does men’s.

In conclusion I want to offer that a woman being in charge means different things to different people. To me it means, “Having the authority and the power to command” in general. In FLR one needs to say more.

In FLR, occasionally, or for short periods of time she may take on the entire range of dominance. But it is rare, or maybe nonexistent, that she would want to be completely in charge, and have an essentially mindless slave to kick around. See my treatment of one at Owning And Training A Male Slave which is a totally unreal (as in FAKE!) scenario. Other than that, we come up with a balance of who does what to whom, and change it as necessary over time.

I realize that many FLR blogs are interesting because they show an ongoing tension whether benign or malign. Sex play is a great source of such tension. However, being a dominant in a sexual D/S scenario is not the same as being in charge in an FLR. The same goes for doing irresponsible things because one is supposedly in charge and can do it. Being in charge assumes that one has the authority to back up her orders, but she remains responsible for the outcome. That is how it is in real life. Anything else is role-play.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Where Are All Those Dominant Women?

Are There Any Real Dominant Women?

There is a lot of material on the Internet about dominant women. I can’t help but run into it while I am searching for my subject of interest, Female Led Relationships. Much of the material is fantasy, business oriented, or borderline and true pornography. I define pornography for the present purpose as “material that does not try to convey an idea or a message, just simply presents mindless acts of sexual and D/S nature”. All of this can be lumped under “femdom”, although FLR is only a subset of that.

If one were to take a clinical view of the subject, it would be an easy conclusion to say, “Male driven. It’s not what a woman wants, but what a man expects and she provides.” Ok, it’s just an opinion on my part. I can’t prove anything other than offer my feelings and needs, which I will not do to a full extent. However, I can ask some questions, and offer answers on them, based on my not-so-humble opinion.

Female Led Relationship

I have had a couple of those silly polls on my blog for close to a year. The first asks the question whether you as a reader are male, female, or other. Males are 81 percent, females are 13 percent, and the rest are undecided or wise guys.

Think about that: male readers outnumber female readers 6:1, assuming the responses are honest and accurate. That implies six times as many males are interested in femdom than do females in general. I Don’t think that all the people were stricitly looking for FLR when they found my blog, which is why I used “femdom” in my conclusion.

The second poll asks, “Who initiated the Female Lead Relationship in your life?” Males 29 percent, females 16 percent. The rest are split between those who are not in FLR and those who don’t wish to be in one. This is another reason why I think that my blog shows up under “femdom” more often than under FLR. Only 45 percent of the respondents were into FLR in specific.

There are different ways to play with these statistics. One is, of the females who are interested enough to read about this (13 percent of readers), only 16 percent initiated FLR. This gives us 2 percent of the female population who is interested in and initiated FLR. I admit that the survey was not what I would call scientific, just based on the people who are willing to read this drivel admit to it. Still, 2 percent is small. This indicator seems to go against the feminist and female supremacist theories and advocacy that appears to be overtaking civilization.

I think that most women are comfortable with not having to make so many explicit decisions, taking charge, and being held responsible for the results. They would rather leave it to their men, and just work from behind. That does not mean that they are not mostly in charge, just that they don’t admit to it. Very few women wear the tee shirt in public with the message, “I have the pussy, so I make the rules,” but we all know it is true. It is subterfuge, working under the radar, manipulating from behind the lines. How can they lose? Of course, they can’t take credit openly for being in charge, such as being leaders, being “Goddesses” etc.

There are those few who can, and are quite vocal about it, such as pro-dommes and active feminists. But we really don’t know how they are in their private lives. Maybe they, at least some times, like to find a man who takes charge and makes them feel like a helpless woman. Even the women who are really in charge, such as Corporate executives, business owners, judges, etc., don’t necessarily go home and spank their husbands for not having dinner ready. In fact, I believe that they would rather be pampered and made love to as opposed to running the household.

The 2 percent of women mentioned above are the actual leaders, the true advocates of FLR. They appear to thrive on the power, the details, and the results. The others who are interested do it for the advantage it offers them, not for the dominance or the thrill of the leadership and responsibility. They compromise.

D/S by Femdom

I have seen the typical D/S Femdom pornography. There are a number of themes: whipping, spanking, humiliation, CBT, trampling, face sitting, forced masturbation, etc. I don’t even want to mention some of the less savory fetishes. Once you see a few seconds of one of these, you have seen them all. Some you don’t want to see again or even in the first place.

“What have all these in common?”

“Is it that women want to put on fetish costume, i.e. ridiculous makeup, rubber suits, harnesses, lace up boots with impossibly high heels, platform shoes from which they could fall an break an ankle?”

“Do they really want to go to all that trouble just to manipulate the male member to orgasm?”

“Do they themselves orgasm while manipulating a man’s needs?”

I don’t think so. All this is strictly catering to some man’s needs. Women do this because they get paid for it somehow: pro-domme, actress, or a wife who goes with it because of a number of reasons: hubby pays the bills, he does extra chores in exchange for the thrill, and, as kinky as he is, the next husband could be even worse. It’s still a man’s fantasy coming true from time to time.

The 2 percent of the women who initiated FLR may actually enjoy D/S by Femdom, and do it for just the fun of it. I would love to meet them. But there may be as many, or more, who enjoy D/S where they are the submissives. I did not ask that in the poll.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Goddess Syndrome

There are several definitions of “God”. Some are frivolous, others are ridiculous. For example,

1 the supreme or ultimate reality: as (a) : the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe (b) Christian Science : the incorporeal divine Principle ruling over all as eternal Spirit : infinite Mind

2 a being or object believed to have more than natural attributes and powers and to require human worship; specifically : one controlling a particular aspect or part of reality

3 a person or thing of supreme value

4 a powerful ruler
I don’t frequent male dominant things, so I don’t have anything to cite here. I assume that some male would claim to be “God”. I would also assume that he is just some schmuck too full of himself.

The dictionary definition of a Goddess is a female god. But which god are we assuming?

“Requiring human worship…” Give me a break! Any so-called human who worships another human is an idiot.

"A powerful ruler", yes, he or she could make a decision of life or death of a subject. But that is not the same as creating life. This is not godliness, just taking advantage of a position. Anyone can take a life, but no one can give it.

That leaves me with my definition as, “A being who has powers to create things and situations from nothing”. That could be god or goddess, not some human created in the mind of a submissive person.

I may, and do, look at a woman with great respect and admiration when warranted. However, at no time, place, or circumstance would I claim, accept, or imply that she is a Goddess. She is human, just like some of us. She may be smarter or more intelligent. She may be more beautiful or sexy. She may be younger and more capable. But at the end, she is a mortal human just like us. She gets old and no longer coveted by the young shallow schmucks. That is not a godly attribute.

The lofty title of “Goddess” is nothing more than a title. I am willing to serve a woman for the rest of my life. Actually, I am doing that now. She does not claim to be god or goddess except in jest. I would not believe it if she did. She has no more powers than I do except her power over me. But that is human, not godly.

So, when I encounter a self-proclaimed "Goddess", or one who has the title bestowed by insipid underlings, I am a little annoyed with the impudence of it.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Approaching Critical Mess

I ran across this on the Internet:
The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

More Sex. But Not As Most Men Know It

When I walk by her she often grabs something: a tit, a ball, a cock, an ass cheek or whatever is in her reach. Since I am in uniform whenever we are together, it is as easy as reaching for a ripe fruit on a low hanging branch. I could complain, but I won’t for a couple of reasons: she has a right to reach and grab, and I love it when she does it even if it is occasionally painful.

During the last couple of days she has commented on the lack of ownership marks on my cheeks. She hinted that I need to be re-marked just to be sure that if I run into that sort of company, he or she would know that I am owned. I know what all that is about, but I can’t justify responding to her remark in any way that would cause her to accelerate or stop the time scale of her action. Generally I just smile, and she knows how I feel.

Yesterday I think she planned to work on my ass. I figured that, because the riding crop was there as I made the bed in the morning. By evening, we had been up for close to 24 hours already, so after we finished watching a movie she said, “I could re-mark you now, or do it tomorrow.”

I was already half asleep, and thinking that having my ass whipped would get me out of the pleasant drowsy mood, I said, “Tomorrow, if you please.”

Well, today is the “tomorrow” mentioned above. This time she selected her instrument with care and with purpose. Yes, she needs the thrill, but she also wants to leave her mark. She is not cruel or sadistic, but she makes sure that I know my place. She chose a bath brush for the occasion. Its length is 14 inches, and its weight is substantial.

She had me in the bedroom this morning. “Assume the position,” she ordered. I did. “How many?” she wanted me to choose.


“Choose again.”

“Two.” I really did not know whether choosing any number over another would make a difference since she would give me whatever she decided was a good number. Hell, I could have chosen 56, and still not know what she had in mind. She began, and continued until twelve. Then when I thought she was done, she whacked my poor ass once again.

She must have been pleased with re result, for she said, “Stay there while I take some pictures.” I did, and she did. About an hour later as I finished some chores and for the first time I had a sore ass she stopped me again to capture another development of the temporary alteration of my anatomy. I am sure all that will look different later, and she will probably preserve that too. Hold your breath until I report on it. Meanwhile there may be other things going on.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sex. But Not As Most Men Know It

“Well, the wife did something yesterday that she hasn’t done much of in the previous few months… use me for sex. It was very nice, to say the least.”
The above sentence is not original with me. I read it at Latest Talk. If you are interested in a female controlled sex scenario, you should read it. What I found interesting, in addition to its content, is that I could have said that.

MW has been hinting about pleasure, which usually means her pleasure. But I find it impossible to separate her pleasure from mine, unless mine is all pain. But even then there is some pleasure associated with it, so I will take the pain that she so generously gives me any time.

It was in the evening. I was reading a Scarpetta novel in bed while waiting for her to finish her shower. She returned with a comment, “That crazy cat opened the bathroom door and let all the heat out.” With winter here, we do have some cold evenings when a portable heater in the bathroom is a welcome addition. That screwy cat has learned to open doors from either direction. She does that just to be on the other side, whichever side that might be. To keep her from doing that, we usually have to lock the door as opposed to just allow it to latch as we close it.

MW sat reclining on the bed, which was my cue to apply lotion to her feet. “Do it only in places that you don’t want to suck and nibble,” she said. We both know that I will do anything she wants, but I don’t prefer the taste of hand lotion. I was tempted to be a wise guy and skip the lotion, but I knew that would not be really wise, so I treated her feet to the lubricious liquid. After I sat on the other side of the bed she lay down and rolled diagonally across the huge bed. With her back side up, I had my second cue to go to work on the massage. I was at it for about ten minutes, when she said, “I would feel much better if you had tit clamps on.”

Offhand I don’t see how anybody could feel better if my tits ended up between nasty little clamps, but maybe some of the people that I have pissed off over the years would enjoy my pain for vengeance.

The photo was not taken last night during this wife led sexual scenario (it is from about a year ago), but the result was similar. I fetched the clamps and handed them to her. She in turn applied them to the appropriate male tits with the commensurate pain that followed. My already hard little guy kicked into gear and was way ahead of me as a result. I went back to work on the painful massage of MW.

We came to a point in this process when she decided that we must accelerate the scenario. I, personally, would have been willing to start with the ultimate titillation, but as you know, women are different. They like to be built up to the ultimate in slow stages. So, she turned over her luscious body to challenge me with another set of curves. Now her front side was up, and my tits began to numb enough so that I could concentrate on the work ahead.

I seldom can tell how well I am doing except by having my ass whacked when I do it wrong. It is kind of like driving a car forward by looking at where you have been. This time there was a clear indication: she parted her thighs. Some men would take that as an invitation, which I did. But an invitation to what? We have done all this before, so I knew that the invitation was for my tongue. “Sorry, little guy, some other time for you.”

What was left opened my mind to the ultimate pleasure: giving her what she wants with my tongue. This sort of activity had been related in prose, verse, and videos, so I doubt that I could add much. Sure, I could use flowery phrases and inventive description which are the fodder of romance novels. Maybe some day I will do that. But for now I played her like a professional plays a fine musical instrument. At some point my fingers were involved, and then later my head was nearly pinched off as she completed her throes of passion. Her scent and flavor were all over my face. As she continued with her repeated orgasms she pressed her thigh against one of the tit clamps on me. She knew she was causing me pain from the sounds I made. As if that was not enough, she pulled the chain on the other nipple to add to my sweet suffering. With her other hand she grabbed the boys and pulled hard. I had a hard time coordinating the various pains and pleasures, but I managed. She finally pushed me away. After a few seconds I offered, “Should I leave you with the girls? I wouldn’t mind.”

With the clamps still on my tits I waited for her answer. I think that she was done for the night. A few minutes later she pulled off the clamps and allowed me to return to normalcy.

Thus ends another night in Paradise. I could live with this!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Straight Shooter

Many years ago I used to commute to an adjacent town with a coworker. We were about the same age, about thirty. He had a brand new Toyota truck. We shared a ride. He drove his truck to the limit, and I hung on, being belted in place with my feet on the dash. I think that he tried to compensate for his affliction of arthritis. He already walked with a limp. Regrettably I lost touch with him as we each moved on to other jobs.

I remember this because now I am beginning to face a problem somewhat similar to what he had to endure although on a lesser scale. I am right-handed; therefore, my gun is on the right hip. It is a matter of preference. When qualifying, and re-qualifying for the permit I use the right hand primarily, but I am also tested with the left. I guess, if I did not have a left hand, I might have a problem with that.

In law enforcement the political powers need to make sure that we have our shit together. That means, shooting straight and proper when the situation warrants. I have satisfied all that as time went on. Still, I am beginning to have a problem with my right hand. That is bad, for my right hand is my gun hand. Which brings me back to my erstwhile associate with the arthritic hip. It is now many years later, and it appears to be my time.

I have a deeper appreciation of his problem now. I have lived many years without this problem, but now have come to the realization of how these happen to us. I wish that I could go back in time to tell my former associate that I was an ingrate, and did not really realize his plight. Alas, even if he is still there, I cannot do so. I just feel bad about it.

Then there is my gun hand. I am thinking of switching my holster to the left. My left hand is as good as ever, except it may not be as fast as the right. With some practice it should be all right. I just make sure that when I react I will do so with left, instead of right. As far as the aim is concerned, it is straight with either hand.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

She Is Playing Again

The Day Before Thanksgiving

She had hinted about things that were definitely sexual. I pretend to ignore them only because if I make an issue of it, and she does not deliver, then she feels guilty. This way she can rationalize that she did not really mean to do it at any specific time, so she is in the clear. It appeared that these things remained on her mind. In the evening as we were about to settle in to watch a movie she said, “Assume the position.” Being the good husband I leaned over the edge of the bed face down thereby presenting my bare ass to her.

I did not expect what she gave me, for in my limited intellect I had not done anything to warrant it. Nevertheless, she used a heavy paddle to have her way with my skinny butt. She is seldom severe, and this time, too, she stopped at two-dozen whacks of a medium nature. I was happy when she stopped. I was also happy with the attention, so I said, “Thank you Mistress.” Later on she checked the results, and commented on my rosy cheeks.

The next day I was at home doing some chores. After I came back into the house I got into my uniform when she ordered me, “Put on the CB2000. I like the looks of the CB3000, but your little guy is easier to keep clean in the 2000.”

It’s nice of her to be concerned. I put on the device and settled in to pay some bills.

She was not doing a full dinner this time; instead, we were going to have a feast at our son’s house. She prepared some “with-its” that were were to take along. I am her chauffeur, so as usual, I had to take the car out to the front yard in anticipation of the trip. After returning she said, “Switch the CB to the Kali.”

She does this because she seldom lets me go out wearing hard devices. A few times I did while I was on patrol, and felt very apprehensive. Wearing the Kali’s teeth bracelet is less obtrusive, but more insidious: it bites. I had it on only once while on patrol, and later explained to her that it won’t happen again. Imagine my getting out of a patrol car and trying to re-arrange the little guy to avoid the bite while I am approaching a driver just stopped for a traffic violation. It just was not professional.

Since we were on a holiday this time, that was not an issue, and she insisted that I am to receive the benefit of her stand-in. I chose the largest pair of pants I had to avoid the inevitable tightness and resulting discomfort as I drove us to our destination about 45 minutes away. I managed to survive the pre-dinner drinks, the dinner, and the subsequent conversations without indicating that my private parts were suffering. I must have been fidgeting a lot well into the evening, for MW decided that it was time to leave. Hallelujah!

On the way home she asked, “How are your sweet cheeks?”

“They are fine, thank you.”

“Not even tender?”


“I guess I haven’t given you enough then.”

“I think it’s not just the quantity, but also the quality that may produce the effect,” I added in a wise guy like fashion that I later regretted.

After returning home I got into my uniform, which alleviated the confinement-induced pain of the little guy. Later on, before we went to bed, she said, “Let’s fix the quality of these spanks. Assume the position.”

I leaned over the bed as requested and waited for the pain. I did not have to wait long. She really put some force into it that time. I could not help but yelp. She is very kind, so she stopped after four good wallops with the heavy paddle.

I tried to go to sleep as she left for the living room to watch a movie. I knew that my sleep would be impossible with Kali still in place, but I knew better than to ask her to remove it.

She came to bed about two hours later, and asked me about the pain as if she did not know, “How are you doing?”

“I am trying to stay awake so that I don’t get a hard on so that I don’t have extreme pain.”

“Oh, that’s silly. Let’s just take the thing off.”

With her per mission I removed Kali and then thanked her. She paused on each of my tits pinching them in turn. She can cause instant but very sensuous pain that way. When it was over I slept well in a short time.

The Day After

The next day I was involved in some construction project in the morning. She said, “As soon as you quit, I want you to shave and put on the CB3000.”

The work was a pain in the ass, and I was tired enough to quit just before lunch. I shaved the boys, showered, and installed the CB. After presenting the package to her, she had me do some indoor chores, but gave me much of the afternoon off. In the evening she had me work on her legs and feet with a lotion, but nothing extraordinary happened. I was still wearing the device at bedtime. I noticed the ropes attached to the four corners of the bed blatantly displayed. I guessed their purpose, but said nothing. At the time I usually try to go to sleep she had me on my back, and attached a rope to my left ankle and to both wrists. I was not exactly four-pointed, for my right ankle was free, and there was a fair amount of slack in the ropes. Still, I was forced to remain on my back. She left again, and I was on my own. When she returned some hours later she asked, “How are you doing?”

I am not too sure that she was interested in my answer, for she turned over in bed away from me before I answered, “I’m OK.”

Around 2AM she was awake and checked me. She magnanimously released my right wrist from the rope. I asked, “What do I do when I need to get up in the morning?”

“We’ll deal with that then,” she replied.

At this point I could turn onto my left side and curl up in a comfortable position, so I was happy with it.

She was checking me at the time I usually get up. She removed my wrist restraint and told me to release the remaining rope on my left ankle. She again imparted that sensual pain to each of my already tender tits. Her fingers lingered in my pleasurable pain, and then let go. She said, “Go now. And put on the Device of Obedience once you are up.”

I got out of bed and went about my business. When I sat down with a cup of coffee, I installed the device also known as the signaling device. I have posted a picture of it earlier; here it is again behind the CB3000.

Around five she zapped me. I dropped what I was doing and went to see her. After a short discussion I set up her computer, and later made coffee for both of us. She let me remove the signaling device in order to preserve the small batteries on which it runs. The CB stayed on.

Friday, November 27, 2009

I Dislike Fakery

I have read a number of blogs that purported to be real. After a while I realized the ruse, and was willing to leave it alone, no longer being interested. What bothered me, however, was that some of the readers interacted with the so-called author as if they believed all that crap. I have exposed several fake blogs over the last three years. They are all defunct by now, for the authors gave up trying to be real.

Don’t take this wrong. I don’t give a damn what anybody writes: I don’t have to read it. But, as long as they invite my comments, well … you know.

I love fantasy. I do much of it. I love to read novels of fantasy. I even write them. What I dislike is when some upstart assumes that we are stupid enough to believe his stuff to be real.

There are many subjects dealing with sexual content that turn me on. One of them is cuckoldry. I am interested in cuckoldry for various reasons. I don’t want it to be part of my life, but I like to read about it. I like to read posts of those who are involved in it. I like to read novels using it as a theme. I find it an escape from my daily life that does no harm. What I don’t like, however, is anyone writing it as real when it is fake. It takes people of limited intelligence to try to pass off something real. It is a matter of time until someone comes along and challenges the author.

Here is an example of the fakery, and I quote from the blog:

"I remember a dream, a very vivid dream. It was one of those dreams you swear really happened. I was asleep on my bed, and Annie walked in. Although I was sleeping, I could see her. She was naked and beautiful. She said nothing as she climbed on the bed and sat on my face. I felt another presence on the bed. It was Aaron. He was kissing her. Cum flowed from her pussy into my mouth like water from a faucet. Huge, unnatural volumes of it. It tasted good, like real food. I was so hungry, and so happy at the seemingly unlimited supply of it. I remember thinking - in my dream - that it was impossible that she could have this much cum inside her. I hoped she never ran out. I was afraid that she would, and I would still be hungry."

Before I go all the way, I admit that I have not read the whole story. I am on page 13 of 22, so I may have some surprises coming to me. However, having gone this far I have formed conclusions already based on common sense. I will present that here. If you were to read The Real Story you would at first go with it as if it were real, sort of like reading a novel. The guy is a fairly good writer, but he quickly runs into gaps of reasoning, difficulty with sequential presentation, and ultimately, inconsistencies. In the story the participants are at least in their thirties, so we should assume that they have accumulated some wisdom.


I can list some of his bad decisions, but as you read it you can form your own conclusion. The scenario is this: the husband is the only one with a job. His wife has been screwing her boyfriend, and this schmuck of the husband goes along with it. He is responsible for paying all the bills, while the wife and boyfriend screw around and use him as a slave in sexual, monetary, and menial manner.

It is a nice fantasy for a would-be-cuck, but highly unrealistic. The wife is about to divorce him and marry the boyfriend who would move into their house. The boyfriend works, but would quit his job when he moves it. Her “former husband-to-be” is expected to remain in the household to pay the bills, do the housework and be a sex slave to the two of them. Whoa! ‘Tis the fodder of cuckold fantasies!

There is no mention of the future other than sex and slavery. Well, that should be a clue! The man’s job is obviously not one that earns him a lot, otherwise his wife would not want to divorce him. What happens when somebody gets sick or has some sort of accidental injury, or gets sued by avaricious people? Who will pay the bills? Does this schmuck of a husband think of his later years, as in, “will he serve these two useless carcasses until he dies at the age of 85?” Give me a fucking break! None of these asses think of the future. They think nothing of consequences. The scenario may be based on some real things, but it got out of hand early, and is, at page 9, a total fake. Yet he goes on. I regret that some people take it seriously and actually respond to his writing. Oh well, we have all been duped from time to time.

I enjoy reading a nice short story, or a novel. It can be real or fantasy, Fantasy is great as long as it is not purported to be real. Then I have real problem with it.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Wasted Chances

I am a poster boy for fucking up a good thing. I have wasted positions that I could have developed into better situations. Instead of doing that, I flipped them off, as if saying, “Hey, I’ll have dozens of this at my choosing”.

Well, I did have a few, but I have not had dozens. As time went on, I had fewer. Now I am down to what I can call tongue-in-cheek, "no options". Sure, I can still do some things, but not to the extent that were possible within the venue of before. What I mean is, “I fucked up in a big way every time”.

An unbiased observer would say, “That is a sign of being less than bright.” I hate to agree. Adequate, I am, but bright, apparently not. But these thoughts are about wasting options. Options are the multiple-choice of what you can waste if you don’t take them.

This post is not really about wasting options; rather, it is about wasting chances. Chances come once in a while, and you either take them or not. Now, there is where we all have something in common. The spectrum of this covers life in general. I don’t want to write a post the size of “War and Peace”, so I will limit the topic to sex.

“’Whoa!’ you say. Sex? So what else is new?”

To answer, or at least attempt to do so, sex is not new. Sex was here before you and I were conceived. Still, keeping in the spirit of modern comedy, “There are no old jokes, just old people who have heard them all.” For most of us sex is as we experience it, old or new. Then at some point we don’t experience it any more, and the problems begin. The question is “Why”.

You have to think back to the last time you had satisfying sex. What caused it? Did you set off the spark that gave you the thrill? Could you have just simply “not done” the deed and still experience the lustful result later?

Whatever it was, what if it did not happen? It would not have been your last sex thing obviously. The last one would have been before that chance (try to stay with me in this line of curvaceous reasoning). So you would have really missed the last one. In addition, you would also have missed all the others afterward that did not happen.

There is a bottom line: you never know which one is the last until you have no more. Than you think back, and you know.

If you think this post is all about sex you are wrong. I used sex to demonstrate what is on our mind. However, there are other things. There are issues that we avoid because we don’t know how to deal with them. Then, years later, the issues are moot on account of the other person involved is gone or dead. We stay alive and try to deal with the guilt as a result. But there is no resolution, since the other party is not able to participate. You cannot go back and beg forgiveness. As a result we have a festering pot of guilt that never goes away. It is because we waste our chances to do what was right at the time.

Don’t waste your chances. Do whatever is appropriate at the time, but don’t assume that you will have a chance to do it later. You won’t.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Limited Chances

My My Patriotic Friend and I were sharing some music and wine on a Sunday evening. Normally I would have been happy. Not this time. I was depressed. Things have been going wrong. Not in a big way, just not right, and I was expected to pick up the pieces. So I bitched about them,

"I miss doing things with her. You know, personal things that meant a lot to both of us, loaded with sex …” I commented to him.

He remained silent. I guess he figured that my statement did not warrant a response other than a nod. After a prolonged silence that even I determined to be too long under the circumstances, I added, “I just don’t want to hurt her by saying anything that would bring back the guilt. Not that she has anything to be guilty about. Just that, damn, she feels guilty about anything.”

He sipped his wine, and I did the same. The music at low volume went on, not really bolstering my well-being, rather, making me feel less capable of handling what went on.

After a long silence he began, “You’re not there yet, but will be. Wait till you must quit what you love to do.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you spend much of your life doing something that you love to do, you want to die doing it. Don’t you?”

I had to think about that. I understood his words, but the deeper meaning needed time for me to resolve into understandable quantities. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die doing anything. Yet, I know, that I will die as we all do. His words struck me at my core.

“Why are you telling me this?” His silence following my question began to really annoy me, so I went to get some more wine. Even after I returned he was still silent. I have great respect for him, so I held back from telling him that he was pissing me off.

“What you expect and what you receive will rarely coincide,” he finally continued.

“Oh really, I would never have guessed.”

“Your sarcasm aside, why are you disappointed then?”

“I hope,” I responded in barely more than a whimper.

“Hope is a nice sentiment, but is no more than that.”

I knew that already, but I needed his remark to bop me on the head to remember it.

He continued, “I wake up with memories of situations. I think of them during the day. I don’t miss an hour without wanting to be back there solving other people’s problems. I was on a constant high. I feel that my life is over because I am handicapped this way. I know it would come to an end, but not this way. I don’t expect people to understand. Maybe you do.”

“I understand. I am almost there. I just did not realize it,” I said with compassion.
My friend is still active, but he retired from law enforcement a few years ago. He knows more about right, wrong, guilt, compassion and bravery than I will ever know. He has helped more people than those who deserved it. But his time had come to reflect on it rather than continue. In that respect my current problems seem small. I still have a chance. His are limited.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Gift From Mistress Wife

We have children, all by the same parents: us.

One of them is a precious daughter. We saw her borne, MW very much involved with the physical part, I more in a supporting mode.

We have watched her develop into a lovely little girl.

As she grew, she transformed into a thorny but attractive young woman.

Over the years she developed into a mature beautiful woman.

At this point her beauty is eternal.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Jumping to Conclusions

I almost always agree with Mistress Kathy’s blog. At The Colored Stick I agree to a certain extent, but I have a problem. I disagree when she says,

“Why it is that men have this natural need to be controlled?”

They don’t.

Some men do, but that is not the end of it. Some men feel satisfied being controlled by a system regardless of who the administrators or the rule makers are. Some are happy being controlled by other men. Some are happy being controlled by women. Some want to control. The same goes for women. The point of my objection is that men don’t have a natural need to be controlled! Some like to control, and will fight for it.

It is only the men who need to be controlled by women who “have this natural need”, which is a platitude.

I love to be controlled by a worthy woman. But I don’t necessarily want to be controlled by all women or by all or any men. I prefer to find my place and go with mutual agreements. I would have made a very bad slave in the ancient times.

I know that much of what we see in blogs and in fictional writing is not “logical conclusion based on facts”. Still, even a fictional story must be logical, otherwise it flops. The case in point here is that when we have a single demonstration of what works, it is illogical to extend it to others and expect it to work. In logic this means jumping from specific to general without a demonstrated rule. If it works with others, it is coincidence, and it is not necessarily because the assumptions were correct. No two relationships are the same. If one relationship works because of some agreed rules, it does not mean that others will.

I don't mean to lean on Mistress Kathy. Her blog is great, entertaining, instructive, and often exciting. But her case is just one out of many, and does not make rules.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Before The Dawn

As I said before, I am a hopeless frigging romantic. So, here it is, listen to one of my favorite pieces.

Before The Dawn - by Judas Priest

The video does not really go with the lyrics. The lyrics match the mood of the music. It's a piece by which to die. Here are the lyrics:

Before the dawn, I hear you whisper
In your sleep "Don't let the morning take him"
Outside the birds begin to call
As if to summon up my leaving

It's been a lifetime since I found someone

Since I found someone who would stay
I've waited too long, and now you're leaving
Oh please don't take it all away

It's been a lifetime since I found someone
Since I found someone who would stay
I've waited too long, and now you're leaving
Oh please don't take it all away

Before the dawn, I hear you whisper
In your sleep "Don't let the morning take him"



If you think this piece of writing is tongue-in-cheek you may be right. I know I have said some about this subject, but it is time again, given my propensity for self-abuse. No, I don’t mean masturbation. Masturbation is not abuse. What I mean is willingness to be subjected to mistreatment by my MW. Generally we don’t do much, but when we do it is significant. Actually, when I say “we”, I mean “she” for I am only the recipient of her doing. Not that I complain.

The only reason I bring this up is that once in a while she gets into the mood of imposing locked chastity on me. As kinky as I am, I love it. That is, until it becomes a real pain in the ah … you know. Ok, you may call me a pussy, you may call me a coward. Hell, you may call me anything as long as it is not too vulgar under the circumstances. But I have a problem. I don’t know whether my problem is representative of men in general. I will elaborate, and let you decide.

I have posted pictures of the little guy and his alter ego, the big guy, but most were when he or the other was in his glory. You know, large as life, so to speak. The boys go with it, again, so to speak. It turns out that the pictures had been during times of temperate season when the boys hang loose, and the little guy is in his element.

However, there are times when the temperature drops, such as in winter, and being in uniform (my natural state) provides no shelter from the change of temperature. What I experience is twofold. First, the little guy practically disappears. If you looked, you could see some skin with a Prince Albert ring being most prominent. Second, the boys practically disappear also. I know they are there, but not to be fondled or viewed in general. Oh, they all would come back upon sufficient provocation (actually you might want to stand back so that you are not knocked over by the reaction). But as is, they look very unimpressive. Maybe later I will post a picture here, just that, I would be somewhat embarrassed about it, and I would have to post the real looks next to it just to maintain some dignity.

This brings me to the purpose of this post. As much as I like the CBT associated with the forced wearing of a so-called chastity device, it cannot be 24/7 for a long time without suffering real damage. My parts are just too variable in size: near zero to, well, you have seen them. So, forget about taking my measurement to fit a device.

I know, somebody will come up with still another “greatest chastity device” and charge a month’s wage for it. Whether I will buy it depends on what MW might think of it. Meanwhile I experiment in my workshop and hope that I don’t seriously hurt myself on the next prototype. MW has not had to call the firemen to use the "jaws of life" on my devices yet, but as you know, stuff can happen. Sheesh, I would hate to meet someone I know professionally under those circumstances. Wish me luck.


I have decided to be generous and include some pictures to which I alluded above. The first picture below shows him in his most diminished state.

Those of you who are embarrassed about having a small cock (not that you should be) may feel superior looking at this. After all, this little guy is just barely there.

Here he is at half mast in warm weather.

Then there he is Somewhat handicapped but otherwise all there weighing in at seven inches from nose to tail. Not record breaking, but when you consider the difference in size between this and the first picture, you may realize the problem of defining "size" for chastity devices.

Monday, November 16, 2009

What Is Appropriate

First the disclaimer. I apologize for having borrowed these pictures from the internet. Although MW and I have done what is shown in the first picture many times, alas, we have had no camera men to commemorate the event. As a result, we don’t have a picture of us in this situation. The closest is at the top of my blog. In addition, I am not making rules here, just some comments.

In the spirit of a Female Led Relationship anything goes that the female wants. Given that, I have my preferences. Being on my knees serving her is totally appropriate. For example, look at the first picture.

If MW wants to do what I show in the second picture, it is entirely up to her. Even more, I would love to be the recipient. Just that, somehow it seems inappropriate unless it thrills her. Oh my! I could live with that. But don’t worry, she never does that, so we are back to the first picture as the appropriate thing to do.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Dominant or Domineering?

Please check the post at  Difference Between Being Dominant And Domineering. This woman has it figured out. I was going to comment on her post in length, but came to my usual conclusion that I can do it more justice if I elaborate on it on my blog. I give her credit for my inspiration on this subject.

The domineering, whiney, and bitching people seldom make a good impression on peers or subjects. If they are mistakenly given a supervisory position, most of the coworkers despise them. A submissive may go along with it for a while if he is in need of repeated humiliation or craves crass and impersonal mistreatment. This is not a virtue or detriment of female or male characteristic. Any person of either gender has the same chance of making something of the position, or mucking it up beyond repair.

Much of the attitude has to do with confidence, and later on, the development of skill. Some never develop either, they just cash in on whatever someone made available to them. Then there are others who are borne with confidence, and learn the skill as necessary. On the long run, intelligence and compassion win, whereas, screaming and violence lose. One can be strict, formal, dominant, respectful, and loving without being vulgar or violent.

I have never dealt with professional dominas, so I am a bit handicapped with respect to evaluating their behavior. However, I have met some dominant women who had a way of getting their will done on the job. It was their attitude that convinced me that I would work for them under any circumstance. They could be leaders in any venue. They never had to scream or use obscenities or threats. They were just natural leaders.

I am not what anyone would call a submissive man. But that is just a matter of scale and situation. I have, and would again submit to others in a professional and political arena when I meet one who is above me in whatever stature is under consideration.

Then there is a matter of submitting to a worthy woman, which is my true directive in my life. In the latter case sex is very much part of it in my mind and my needs. Yet, it is not unconditional. She has to be intelligent, considerate, and rational, not necessarily sexy, young, wide, flat, or whatever. A screaming vulgar violent person gets her way with some, but with me she or he would meet resistance. Resistance is not a desirable trait of a willing submissive. Regardless of preferences, we must meet on agreeable terms.

Dominant people have a metaphorical stature of a cone or a pyramid: stable, reliable, and in no need of constant and repeated subjugation of their charges. Domineering people, on the other hand, tend to be the same, only their perceived stature is upside-down. Because of their unstable position they are constantly in need to reassure themselves, else they fail not only in their own esteem, but also in the eyes of their pitiable subjects.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Other Washinton

I was reading Jokes/Balance at Arcanet while munching on my lunch. I don’t know how reliable the links remain over time, so I borrowed one that was just too precious to not share with all of you. Here it is.

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."

Friday, November 13, 2009

Who You Callin' a Lady?

A woman by any other name is not necessarily a lady

Before I begin to dissect women, I want to give an idea of the terminology surrounding sexes. I will not be exhaustive in definitions, since anyone can look up the terms in his favorite reference site or book. I will just pick the one that seems to suit my purpose for the moment, and leave others for later.

Pertaining To Men, But Not Exclusively


“A man whose conduct conforms to a high standard of propriety or correct behavior”. I may act gentlemanly from time to time, alas, I am not one. I would love to be, but at this point in my life I can’t justify the effort.
“Human adult male”. I am one.

“A rope, chain, rod, or wire attached to something as a brace or guide”. Well, at least by Merriam-Webster. More appropriately, “A mostly adult man with some redeeming qualities”. Yeah, I have been called one often.

“A member of a group having common characteristics”. You know, pair of balls, needing a shave, etc. Right. I have them all so far.

“Penis”. Need I say more? I feel like one from time to time, but I give myself more credit than to admit to being one full time.

“An unlikable small-minded person”. Sheesh, I have been called that, but I don’t think I deserved it.

Well, you can give your definition based on those whom you know. I know I have been called that, but, in my opinion, I never deserved it (well, maybe in very narrow circumstances). Then again, there are other opinions.

As you can see, the credentials and worthiness based on the above definitions range from “just fine” to, well, you know

Pertaining To Women

I will be slightly less irreverent defining the female gender, although the above definitions certainly apply from time to time.


“A woman of refined manners and good breeding”. You will recognize one when you see her.

“A woman of refinement and gentle manners”. She is close to a gentlewoman. However, especially of late, the word has assumed a meaning much less than original, and no more than female. Alas, it is now expected that a man calls a female lady even if he means, “you stupid uneducated moronic bitch”. It is a shame, for there still are ladies around, and the honorific should be used with care.

“Adult female person”.

“A female servant or employee, an informal friendly, or demeaning meaning of woman”.

“Woman of character marked by lack of restraint, delicacy, or subtlety”. This may be verging on archaic usage, but I think it is a good description.

“A malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman”. Even when I feel like it, I seldom use this. I just don’t have it in me.
There are others, and some covered under “Pertaining To Men ...” may apply, but I think that I have covered the spectrum.

Where Do You Fit?

Male or female, I am curious about where you think yourself to be.

Let not this be a wish or a feeling. Rather, examine your behavior in normal circumstances, and rate yourself. Is there anything you would like to change about yourself?

Do you care how others classify you? I am not talking about isolated instances when some person with irrational expectations calls you names. That is not what you are. What you are is when you are alone and admit to yourself how you would behave under some circumstances.

Let’s hear it, dolls and guys, girls and boys, ladies and gentlemen! But please, remain civil in your comments.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

She Is Out Of Town Again

I dropped her off at her friend’s house. She and friend Laura planned to head north out of town. Laura, as usual, practically devoured me in her driveway as soon as we stopped and exited our vehicle. OK, I could do her, as in, “just about anything”. The problem with that would be MW, who definitely would disapprove. So, anything other than deep kissing for a few moments, and maybe a few feelies of voluptuous female (and male) parts is verboten. Shoot, on my way driving home I was inundated with her perfume, and couldn’t get it out of my mind. Once home, I dropped my shirt into the laundry chute so that I could relax. Her perfume became only a memory. Then, so was kissing MW on the lips before we parted. OK, for those of you who are attuned to pleasing females, I meant, “her upper lips”. Not that I would have refused to kiss her lower lips as we stood in Laura's driveway.

After returning home I did the usual. No, not the sexy parts. You know, taking care of animals and doing chores. Then I got to the sexy parts. Being a bachelor for a few days gave me the option of unlimited sex. Well, unlimited as long as I remained faithful. My right hand was duly drafted to do some sorely needed attention to the little guy. Then eating junk food, drinking whatever was available, listening to loud music ... We are far enough away from neigbors such that they are unlikely to call the Sheriff complaining about the noise. I think.  I don’t want to go on account of I might tend to incriminate myself.

My neighbor, a lovely woman with the longest and most beautiful legs in the neighborhood (other than MW's of course) came across the road as I was picking up my mail. I may have had a drink or two before, since I have a vague memory of kissing her hand. During the conversation she had invited us to dinner this coming weekend, after MW’s return. Sheesh, I am a basket case when it comes to women.

I don’t know how I have been able to remain civil and detached in my various professional positions over the years. There have been no lawsuits, and my supervisors have not confronted me with complaints of unprofessional behavior, so I think that I managed somehow. But it is getting difficult. The older I get the more my vista opens: more females become attractive.

I have not shaved in a while. I guess I will have to do so before I collect MW upon her return to the city. Looking like a lumber jack months out of town may be offensive to some females. Imagine that! Although, I don't think that would slow down Laura.

And, oh yeah, maybe I should give the little guy a rest in case he were to be needed by MW for some unknown reason. After all, I am not famous for being multi-orgasmic. But I am willing to try. I often thought that I would have a future in pornographic movies, and regret not having tried. I had a good reason, though. You know, I would not want to be recognized on my day job. It would embarrass some of us.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Grumbling On Female Superiority

I love the many variations of the message on a woman’s tee shirt, “I have the pussy, I make the rules.” It is so appropriate among people who wish to submit to a pussy! I am definitely one. However, I don’t want to generalize it to mean, “I have the pussy, so I am superior to you.” If it is your preference in your own relationship, then good for you. That's not necessarily so for the rest of us.

Much of what is said on the subjects of female supremacy and feminism is just passionate philosophical argument. I love philosophical arguments; I also like arguing using logic. Alas, logic, commenting on and writing about these subjects, is rarely there. What there is usually, is passion, and interpretation. None of that is generally wrong when we consider that we are simply expressing our feelings. Feelings are neither wrong nor right. Nevertheless, if logic is missing, any attempt at argument loses potency.

Before I get into the depth to which I want to cover this subject, I want to point out the following. Although they may coincide in narrow contexts, female supremacy and feminism are not the same thing.

I have worked with people of all sorts in a professional environment. I have run into rabid feminism and I did not like it. It was as bad as the so-called “macho man,” who assumed that he was in charge because he had balls. There are people who are leaders because they have the capability and the drive. Then there are others who pretend. Gender has nothing to do with it.

Some of the comments and blogs have to do with the evil of patriarchy. I have no problem with patriarchy. Neither do I have a problem with matriarchy. Either one works when it fits the situation. Just don’t try to impose one or the other when it is inappropriate, or to an extreme degree!

According to Merriam-Webster, feminism is “The theory of political, economical, and social equality of sexes.” My addition is to “promote such”. Feminism is a good idea when we try to give equal opportunity to females. Difficulty arises when we use “affirmative action” in a manner similar with respect race. One does no harm in promoting equality with respect to gender or race. This brings me to the other subject, which is female supremacy, including the assumed destruction of patriarchy. There are two reasons for my objection.

Reason one: anyone who wants to “destroy” something in order to replace it with his choice is going to meet resistance. Not everybody will think that the replacement will be better than the old thing. It would be better to promote the new idea, and let it take over on its merits. Forcing it onto others will meet with justified resistance.

Reason two: feminism was and is a good idea. Just as would be “masculinism” if it were necessary. Just don’t carry either to an extreme. Female supremacy, on the other hand, is based on gender. As such, it is fallacy. Give each person his or her chance to excel. Deal with people instead of gender.

Even though I am a dominant heterosexual male, I am willing to submit to a deserving female. My wife happens to be one. That does not mean that all females are worthy of my submission or that any are superior to me. It also means that I don’t take dominance over females in general because of my gender.

Human intelligence evolved encompassing “skull size”, “skin color”, “gender,” etc. It is not what you have, such as gender, size, etc., but what you do with what you have that makes the difference.

I have a quote that is attributed to Barbara Wright Abernathy, author of the book, Venus On Top: Women Who Are Born To Lead And The Men Who Love Them (From the now apparrently defunct blog,

“Freedom from the artificial restrictions of gender roles is underway and gathering momentum. However, the rise of the feminine does not mean the demise of the masculine. It means a new and healthier balance of power, and it bodes well for the future of the human race.”

I could not have said it better. Let natural leaders lead, and submissives follow, regardless of gender!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

What Do You Do With A Pussy?

Once in a while I encounter a glimpse or even an explicit picture of the female anatomy that rules my life. It has to be in context. For example, an explicit picture of a pussy in your face, spread for all to see,  may under some circumstances be enticing. Most often it causes me an overload. Not that I actually encounter this often. OK, at least, not in person.

Men are wired to do things with female parts. If you are a man, and you don’t have an impulse to do something, then you are on one side of the spectrum versus the other. I am on the side that reacts with great appreciation and anticipation. I want to do things with female parts. The spectrum is multi-dimensional.

Sight is one of the dimensions. Certain views get my juices going. However, I like things in context. For example, I love to see a female bottom from any angle, from all angles. If possible, I like to see the full figure. Seeing the picture of a disembodied pussy, for example, to me, is little more than seeing a picture of one of those artificial vaginas no matter how realistic. There is no right or wrong here, it is a matter of preference. We will overlap in preferences, but we should never expect agreement on the details. These details are based on our early experiences, and will not go away. Mine are for voluptuous thighs. Of course, other parts are also welcome to any degree. Like I said, all in context.

Another dimension is smell. It is very basic. I can remember smells from when I was five years old. Smells are penetrating to my core. When I encounter MW early in the morning I search all her beautiful parts for rewarding scents emanating from her loveliness. I am usually satisfied with the result. She is clean, but several hours of sleep past a shower. Her natural scents give me reinforcement of her female charm. The taste of her skin, the scents under her arms, the wonderful warm place between her breasts, and the musky aroma in the vicinity of her nether lips have enslaved me forever.

Another dimension of appreciation is what she does with her charms. After wielding her looks, her scents, there is her power over me in dominance. As much as I prefer submitting to her, or a woman of her caliber, I admit that I could submit in almost any scenario to any woman. I am getting into fantasy here, so don’t take what I say literally under the circumstances.

Let’s say that I prefer very clean well-endowed females of a certain wide age range. Submitting to her would be easy. Next, let’s consider a female out of the above stated limits. For example, she is older, thinner, had not showered in the last few hours, etc. If she did the right thing in using what she has, I think that I would not have a chance fighting my way out of her charms. I would succumb.

Let’s get back to what I would prefer to do with a pussy. My first impulse is to plant my face on this precious part of female anatomy and enjoy the scents (this works even when she is wearing clothes). My eyes, if not blindfolded, are essentially useless at that close range, so I rely on my nose and tongue. My nose has already given me the jab to proceed by all means, so I can’t wait to include my tongue in the process. Oh my! The flavors are to die for. My lips get into the act, and I am totally immersed in pleasure.

Adding still another dimension is the feel of her thighs, hips, ass, legs, arms, or breasts while my tongue and nose are busy getting me off on her pleasure.

I don’t mean to get weird here, but in a Freudian sense it may be associated with my birth. In a way it is a primal memory.

I don’t mean to say that I never want to do penetrating sex with other than my tongue. Holy cow, I do, very much! Just that, my first impulse in treating a pussy is to give the owner pleasure using my tongue. If I succeed with that, whether or not I get mine is like dessert: optional.