Friday, January 18, 2008

A Bit of Mundane Admission

I tend to wait for momentous occasions to post something because I want to avoid boring the reader. Once in a while, (Oh, all right, too friggin’ often) I succumb to pontification whether I say it or a reader does.

In general I have a reason to steer away from too much non-anonymous reality. It is to keep our identities from being inadvertently revealed. As a consequence, I have a constant struggle between baring my soul, and keeping it in the shadows. So, you will occasionally see sunlit scenes that present in the most intimate detail of what I would not discuss with my psychologist, had I one, yet I skip over general but potentially interesting and endearing events and scenarios for fear of being found out. Such contradicting directives make life interesting. They are very much like the attempt of the "stealth submissive" who wants to serve to his female partner without her knowing it. He feels compelled to satisfy, but the question is, “Whom?”

Mundane reality depicted in my writing can be useless, revealing, entertaining, devastating, etc., depending on who is using it for what. Ok, my stuff is likely to fall under the first category. Although my situation is unique, I don’t have anything earthshaking to present. Still, some nefarious character could do me harm just for the sake of doing me harm. I have very few old adversaries who could track me to this blog, but in my line of (former) work I should not take the chance. Given that, I tend to take the conservative approach and skip revealing details. Pity.

I would love to talk about the wonderful place where we live, our excellent family, the good times we have when and where we are, real problems with which we deal, and plans that we have. It would make my blog more real, more open, more personal to those who care. As it is, I will use some of these ideas with some circumspection. I will reveal some of my person, yet I will avoid opening the door to vindictive reaction. The attempt may fail, but will be a challenge. Work with me on this!

Choosing to be open in a blog depends on the context of the blog, and also on what the author has to gain or lose. The context of my blog is controversial in general, and I don’t have a strong agenda to promote what I espouse at the risk of losing some social status or opportunities. I do have something to lose, and very little to gain. It is not like being a “freedom fighter” where one has nothing more to lose but his life. I have been there, and I assure you that this is different. The gain here is trivial, and the loss is substantial. It may change, but for now I choose anonymity.

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