Tuesday, January 1, 2008

It Began with a Misunderstanding

MW often tries to convey information to me via telepathy. When it fails, which is ten times out of ten, she blames me.

We were invited to a New Year’s Eve get-together with the “bring your own booze” clause. In a witty fashion I declined with the reasoning, that "If I have to bring my own booze, I could just as well get drunk at home, so I don’t have to worry about who is going to drive." MW did not really want to go anyway, so that was the real reason.

Staying home did not mean exactly that, as far as MW was concerned. We talked about Chinese food earlier. I don’t remember what the context or the resolution was, if any. In the evening she announced that dinner was ready. While eating some yummy leftovers that she served, I did find out that I was supposed to go out and return with Chinese food for dinner. She sat at the table with me with no food before her. I, the dense and submissive husband, was eating. This was not good.

One might expect that we would have had a melt-down. I did expect it. But it did not happen. We realized that we stepped into quicksand, and carefully backed out in time. In fact, she turned back into her sweet and loving self. Later in the evening she made popcorn with the deadly application of butter and salt, and we sinned as we watched a movie. One might think that this was the most insipid New Year’s Eve party ever, and one might be wrong.

I know I had a few glasses of wine by then, so I may have some of the events out of sequence. I remember her sending me to find a paddle. Since paddles were scarce, and there were none to be had, I found a riding crop instead (paraphrased from Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas). My ass being the most obvious recipient of her generosity, I felt thankful. It could have been worse.

My mind skipped a cog, so I don’t remember what lead up to this. At some point I do remember, however, that she pushed my head toward my center of being. I know, I can’t read her mind, but even as dense as I am, I took the hint. Very yummy hint. I believe that she orgasmed three times, and I had the time of my life.

When it was over there was nothing to clean up. I like that about women, they are so neat. She did instruct me, however, to install the CB2000 where it belongs. That was unexpected, and the first hint I received that I was still in the proverbial dog house. After that she told me to find a sleeping bag, and put it on the floor of the closet. She pointed out a sheet that I may use, dropped a pillow, then turned out the light and closed the door.

In the dark I spread the sleeping bag and the sheet, and lay down on them. It was way past my usual bedtime, so I fell asleep almost immediately. I think it was around 11:30 when she awakened me and told me to come to bed. I grabbed my pillow and followed her.

It is now after four on New Year’s Day. I am still wearing the CB2000 in addition to the signaling device. I don’t know what other surprises MW has for me. I could be in deep stuff easily since the tenants (our sun and his SO) are staying over at the house where the party took place, so MW and I can be as loud as she wishes. We don’t have immediate neighbors, so loud smacks and painful yelps may scare a cat or two, but will not summon the Sheriff. I am so lucky! There is only one question on my mind at this point: “Do I kiss her on her lips, or do I kiss her on her nether lips to set a precedent for this new year?” Can anyone help me with this?

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