Friday, January 25, 2008

From Her Point Of View Continued … session 2

If I had to guess, I would say this:

  • She likes to be in charge as long as being in charge does not increase the stress on her.
  • She does not want the responsibility that comes with being in charge, but likes the power.
  • She would love to keep the power, but delegate the details, unless the details have to do with something with which she is currently involved by choice.
  • She does not want the constant drain on her attention that deals with all the things a leader in FLR needs to monitor: running the household, maintaining the health and welfare of the dependents, keeping the submissives happy, etc.

Most of the above involve work. Mental and sometimes physical work, which tends to take away from the attraction of being in charge. Well, at least for some people, and I think that she is one.

Each of us is unique in the way we see our roles in an FLR. I did say that MW’s role as a leader was bestowed upon her. She did not ask for it. For all I know, she did not, and still does not want it. She has not said one way or the other. Knowing her as I do, I would say that she is doing an admirable job of it under the circumstances. I can see her as a would-be monarch who suddenly inherited a queendom through succession rather than ascendancy. She did not choose her position. It was thrust upon her. As such, she makes the best of it, but don’t anybody complain, for she never asked for it or agreed to do it.

Given the above, I question, “Who in reality is in charge? The monarch or the steward?” I wish that she would let me know. From time to time she gets my attention with a course correction that has lasting effect. But even then, I am not sure whether she does it to reinforce her position as a leader, for her own kinky gratification, or to give me a token of what I crave.

Before you think that I am off on a negative thread, I assure you that is not true. I am curious, I would like some answers, and at the same time I fear finding out the answers. It may be better to let things go as they are, and never find out the whole truth. I am mostly happy with our relationship. I would change some components, but as I said, I may not be smart enough to make a change and know the total outcome, so I tend to leave things alone. It's the unintended consequences issue.


s said...


Maybe your question is rhetorical. Nevertheless, this is interesting. I've come to believe that much of what constitutes a "WLM" lives only in the mind of the man that wants it, and is accommodated rather than nurtured by the wife.

Only you and your wife understand the nuances of your relationship. You couldn't possibly convey these in your writing. Hence, only the steward may know whether his monarch is pulling the strings or having her strings pulled.

I realize that I'm not helping, and I wish I could. At least your wife accommodates, though.

Susan's Pet said...


You make a very interesting and provocative observation, "... much of what constitutes a 'WLM' lives only in the mind of the man that wants it, and is accommodated rather than nurtured by the wife."

I am not arguing whether or not this is true. If true, there will be a lot of disappointed men when they find out that the emperor has no clothes. In any case, the assumed WLM causes the man to behave differently even when the wife has not actively acknowledged the relationship but is receiving the benefits.

I don't see a WLM as a contract, but a relationship. If it works, it needs no proof of its existence. If it does not work, then it is not a WLM.

helpmate hubby said...

i'm curious as to what changes you would most like to see made?

Susan's Pet said...


Asking this question could be rephrased as, “What is your favorite fantasy?”

I was going to answer here, but decided to post another tongue-in-cheek pontification instead. There is a lot to say about it, and the subject can be better treated in a posting.