Sunday, October 28, 2007

I Have Stalled Long Enough

I have been stalling with posting on this site. My struggle is with how much to reveal to the world. I know that in theory I can remain a person behind an artificial name, but otherwise real. The problem with that is, that identification would inevitably follow. I don’t really do anything that among understanding friends would be embarrassing. Certainly nothing illegal. Just that I am used to a life that has been open to public scrutiny by necessity, and no action or attribute on my part required explanation: what you see is what I have or what I am.

I am now at a turning point in my life that may ease the above constraint. For one thing, I can choose to keep my life private, since I no longer plan to answer to anyone except to my wife. The other thing is, I could now admit to a certain life style and not give a "you know what" about what anyone thinks of it. I could go all out and flaunt my way and likely get away with it. My children might think that my wine consumption has finally caught up with me, but aside from that it could be fun and not dangerous.

So, even if I were to be identified by one smart reader, unless that person is maliciously trying to embarrass me, there is only a small chance of being exposed.

But there has to be a compromise. For my purposes I need to present the truth, most of the truth, and nothing but the truth. Any other approach would be like writing fiction. I can do that, but the intent here is different. I also have another constraint. My wife, who created this blog for me, insists on her privacy. Assuming that we remain unknown behind our published pseudonyms, she still wants to control the amount of information conveyed here. It is kind of like describing a person down to the last freckle but withholding the name: somebody who knows us would recognize the freckles. She wants me to skip the details of freckles so that we can always say, “Who? Me? No resemblance!”

With all of this in mind I will begin to post some of my experiences. I am a prolific writer, but don’t plan to write much here. I will try to stay with the subject of my trip in a Female Led Relationship (FLR). I call it a trip because my enjoyment is mostly in getting there. Once there, the purpose of the trip will have been achieved, and we will reap the benefits. But when the struggle is gone, so is the challenge, so is the edge. I choose to see it as an incremental refinement of our understanding of what we want. We don’t really arrive, but experience the way to get there. The road remains open to a lot of adventures. There is disappointment, anger, boredom, but mostly joy along the way.