Friday, January 11, 2008

Poster Couple for FLR Part 2 - She is the De-Facto Leader

In a prior post I began to explain my views on the covenant between MW and me:

  1. I Have Given to Her the Authority over Me
  2. She is the De-facto leader
  3. She Is not Expected to Do or not Do what I Require
  4. She Has the Last Word
  5. She Is not Expected to Give me a Life of My Fantasy And one final issue based on the above,
  6. What if We Give Up on FLR?

This is part 2 elaborating on her as the leader.

Leadership is taken by force, earned, or bestowed. All three work, but they each require different maintenance methods. In our case leadership was bestowed upon MW. I wish that it had been taken by her, but she was just not that way. Given all of her desirable qualities, I would not want to take a chance on changing anything about her. A personal relationship is very complex, and I am not smart enough to even wish for a change, knowing that any change will cause other unforeseen changes. In war and politics this is often called unintended consequences.

MW does well as a leader in most cases, and when not, nobody questions her except herself. That does not mean that she will not ask me for advice, or will not listen to my input when or where she thinks it is appropriate. The meaning of appropriate here depends on interpretation, but there too, she decides, and I follow. All of this is predicated on my previous admittance, “I have given her the authority over me.”

I wish sometimes that she would take a more active lead. I am very pleased when she decides things that she, I, or we together will do. I want to be lead by her. I also know from experience that being a leader is a strenuous task. I can do it, and on the occasions when she chooses not to do it, I am there for her. But that does not change anything in our FLR.

Without trying to get kinky I wish to point out a powerful force in my life. I absolutely succumb to her female charms, be they visual, oral, aural, or based on pheromones. I also admit that most of this is based on sex. After all, I would never have married her without the sexual attraction. It is a good assessment of her charms that she keeps my mind riveted to her after so many years of marriage. We change in appearance over the years, and look different as we age. She remains my lover of past, present, and forever.

Getting back to the maintenance methods of leadership, there is one thing in common: one must reinforce it from time to time. Without reinforcement the underlings (I in this case) become lackadaisical, lose focus, produce less than they are capable or are expected of doing so.

A leader may have to rely on followers for many reasons. In our case it is seldom a matter of life or death, so we are more mundane. Still, when it comes to, say, time to clean the mistress bathroom, and it was not done when it was due, the leader needs to impart a reminder to the submissive.

Even when all is done perfectly, a demonstration of the power of one’s position is in order just to keep leadership in perspective. And that is part of the joy of serving in a loving FLR. Of course, this is only from my perspective.

The final point is perhaps the most important in the minds of submissives: sexual service. It is the driving force of all males in an FLR regardless of what they claim. They start with it; their attention is focused on it. They may sublimate their sexual desires from time to time, but it tends to pop up in unexpected places and in ways. More on this subject later.

Some might argue this, and you are welcome to comment. Show me a “selfless” (by his own description) male submissive in an FLR, one who is willing to serve without expectations, and I will show you a male who has all kinds of kinky thoughts on what he is getting or expecting to be getting out of his service. As I said before, with the rare exceptions of convenience and economics, sex is behind all relationships, be they FLR or vanilla.