Friday, November 20, 2009

Jumping to Conclusions

I almost always agree with Mistress Kathy’s blog. At The Colored Stick I agree to a certain extent, but I have a problem. I disagree when she says,

“Why it is that men have this natural need to be controlled?”

They don’t.

Some men do, but that is not the end of it. Some men feel satisfied being controlled by a system regardless of who the administrators or the rule makers are. Some are happy being controlled by other men. Some are happy being controlled by women. Some want to control. The same goes for women. The point of my objection is that men don’t have a natural need to be controlled! Some like to control, and will fight for it.

It is only the men who need to be controlled by women who “have this natural need”, which is a platitude.

I love to be controlled by a worthy woman. But I don’t necessarily want to be controlled by all women or by all or any men. I prefer to find my place and go with mutual agreements. I would have made a very bad slave in the ancient times.

I know that much of what we see in blogs and in fictional writing is not “logical conclusion based on facts”. Still, even a fictional story must be logical, otherwise it flops. The case in point here is that when we have a single demonstration of what works, it is illogical to extend it to others and expect it to work. In logic this means jumping from specific to general without a demonstrated rule. If it works with others, it is coincidence, and it is not necessarily because the assumptions were correct. No two relationships are the same. If one relationship works because of some agreed rules, it does not mean that others will.

I don't mean to lean on Mistress Kathy. Her blog is great, entertaining, instructive, and often exciting. But her case is just one out of many, and does not make rules.


Kathy said...


Thank you for commenting on my blog.

I did not mean to suggest that all men are submissve, or have a natural need to serve women.
However, I do beleive there are more of these men in the world than most people would guess.

I would never describe male submisson as a kink. It is not some type of deviant behvaior. It is a very natural need that many men have in common. It would be great if men could openly talk about this need with other men.

Even when John has an opportunity to spend time with the husband of one of my freinds, they would rather talk sports than talk about male submission.

Susan's Pet said...

Mistress Kathy,

I am glad that you did not take offense. I would never attack you, just maybe from time to time have a different opinion.

I agree that there are more submissive men than it appears. I am one who does not appear submissive as in a Female Led Relationship, or D/S. But then, I generally don't flaunt the relationship that my wife and I have.

This brings me to what you said about men not talking about it. It would be extremely difficult for me to even bring up the subject with another man except jokingly. On the other hand, if I knew him to be sumissive to his female partner, I would have no problem talking about it, even admitting to it myself.

All of this is because a man submitting to a woman is still considered deviant, and can hurt people professionally. I think that the attitude within families is more relaxed, but still should not be flaunted. There are things that I would not tell my children. Not because of shame, but because it would not enhance our relationship, such as "they don't have a need to know".

little shaun said...

Funny, I took exception to the fact of ruining my wife's yard if we played the colored stick game.

Susan's Pet said...

Little Shaun,

You do have a sense of humor.

Then again, if my wife told me to dig, I would ask where and how far, then I would dig. I don't necesarily go along with mindless work, yet if it is to be punishment for misdeeds, then so be it. However, the person in charge must know the extent of effort it takes. I live in a place where a spade or a shovel does not make a dent in the ground. Now, there would be a challenge!