Thursday, November 26, 2009

Wasted Chances

I am a poster boy for fucking up a good thing. I have wasted positions that I could have developed into better situations. Instead of doing that, I flipped them off, as if saying, “Hey, I’ll have dozens of this at my choosing”.

Well, I did have a few, but I have not had dozens. As time went on, I had fewer. Now I am down to what I can call tongue-in-cheek, "no options". Sure, I can still do some things, but not to the extent that were possible within the venue of before. What I mean is, “I fucked up in a big way every time”.

An unbiased observer would say, “That is a sign of being less than bright.” I hate to agree. Adequate, I am, but bright, apparently not. But these thoughts are about wasting options. Options are the multiple-choice of what you can waste if you don’t take them.

This post is not really about wasting options; rather, it is about wasting chances. Chances come once in a while, and you either take them or not. Now, there is where we all have something in common. The spectrum of this covers life in general. I don’t want to write a post the size of “War and Peace”, so I will limit the topic to sex.

“’Whoa!’ you say. Sex? So what else is new?”

To answer, or at least attempt to do so, sex is not new. Sex was here before you and I were conceived. Still, keeping in the spirit of modern comedy, “There are no old jokes, just old people who have heard them all.” For most of us sex is as we experience it, old or new. Then at some point we don’t experience it any more, and the problems begin. The question is “Why”.

You have to think back to the last time you had satisfying sex. What caused it? Did you set off the spark that gave you the thrill? Could you have just simply “not done” the deed and still experience the lustful result later?

Whatever it was, what if it did not happen? It would not have been your last sex thing obviously. The last one would have been before that chance (try to stay with me in this line of curvaceous reasoning). So you would have really missed the last one. In addition, you would also have missed all the others afterward that did not happen.

There is a bottom line: you never know which one is the last until you have no more. Than you think back, and you know.

If you think this post is all about sex you are wrong. I used sex to demonstrate what is on our mind. However, there are other things. There are issues that we avoid because we don’t know how to deal with them. Then, years later, the issues are moot on account of the other person involved is gone or dead. We stay alive and try to deal with the guilt as a result. But there is no resolution, since the other party is not able to participate. You cannot go back and beg forgiveness. As a result we have a festering pot of guilt that never goes away. It is because we waste our chances to do what was right at the time.

Don’t waste your chances. Do whatever is appropriate at the time, but don’t assume that you will have a chance to do it later. You won’t.


doll said...


I know you have indicated that MW is suffering depression. It is a incredibly difficult disease for a loved one to have to live with. I do hope that you have some avenues for kicking and yelling and relieving the agony of being impotent in the face of it.

I do take the issue of this post very closely to heart. From the sexual a single woman I am acutely aware that my opportunities for sex will diminish rapidly as I age through my fifties and sixties and that, God forbid, there will come a day when I will realize that I have most likely had sex for the last time. I think this is what drives me to achieve the sexual desires that I have held for an eternity. When I read those blogs written by sexually active women in their fifties I breathe a sigh of relief that there still will be options for me if I continue to want them.

doll said...

I just read this

it seems to coincide with what you have been feeling.

Susan's Pet said...

Sweet Doll,

I appreciate your concern. I don't mean to appear to be a martyr. My dear wife has her downs and occasional ups. We have good times with family, with friends, and just the two of us. Yes, we miss out on some activities that most people take for granted. But when we click we really enjoy it.

Still, what I said goes: you can't make up for wasted chances. They never come again.