Great Kate seems to have FLR figured out. If you want to know the details, check out It didn't happen over night. At least, she has figured out the sex part pertaining to the dominant woman, and oh, by the way, to the submissive man.
First I want to say that I see nothing wrong with her view … as long as it works. Most would-be submissive men would love to serve a woman such as she. The reason I really like her approach is that she admits, maybe not in so many words, “FLR is about sex.” Primarily about her sex, and then the spillover about his sex. Everybody is happy.
This is what I have been saying all along. It a may be a great and wonderful thing to serve a deserving woman in all ways: cleaning her toilet, doing her laundry, washing her car, keeping her house spotless, etc. It is a worthy cause as long as she appreciates it. But, nothing happens in vacuum, whereas everything else happens in some loaded space: “FLR is about sex,” and don’t you forget that.
This is what Great Kate says. She does not exactly distill her view into such few words, but you can figure it out quickly. Without the sex component the relationship will last only for a while, until one gets tired of serving or the other gets tired of responding to whiney submissives. But while it lasts, damn, it can be a blast.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Police
MW made a comment a while ago. She said that I did not attain a certain kind of wisdom until I had been involved with law enforcement for a while. You should take that as my being on the enforcing the law side, rather than on the being enforced side. I have strong feelings on this subject. What I am about to tell you is kept generic for a reason. When I say “police” I mean all aspects of law enforcement that deals with the public first-hand.
You may not have guessed, but I am somewhat of a writer. I have published a lot of material that related my experiences. All that was under my real name. That is why I don’t want to get explicit about the subject. But that still leaves a fair amount of latitude to say what I want.
Some people have hatred toward the police. Where I grew up, it was justified, just as some of you may feel. But I doubt that anyone reading this blog is from such environment. Mine was different, and I will not elaborate on it, for the purpose of keeping my identity private. I assure you, I was not one of the “inner city” denizens, yet, the police, in my mind, was the enemy.
I warn you to ignore the crap that you see on television and in the movies. As a start, they are fiction. They may be based on reality at best. They are mostly sensationalized and eroticized fluff just to make entertainment. Some of those “On the Street” shows where you are watching real time are realistic, so that is not what I am disparaging here.
If you are still with me, we may be in three camps. Those of you, who have had only the bad experience of being stuffed into the back of a police car, may think that our police are bad. You may think that they just “serve the Man” and that they could die and you would be better off. I would not try to change your mind. You will do so yourself as a result of age. Most people accumulate some wisdom by a certain age in their life.
The second camp contains those who had been in some dire circumstance from which the police bailed them out. At that point you realize that there are some dedicated and brave people who will serve the deserving and undeserving without expecting compensation. This realization is rare, but it happens. And after that, you might forget it until the next time you need the police to rescue you.
This leaves some folks who are either in law enforcement, are married into it, or have a close relative who is in it. These people are different. Until you have a loved one who dies as a result of some lowlife’s joy ride, you can’t really appreciate the pain. If you have a son, daughter, husband, or wife who goes out every day jeopardizing his life for the rest of us you know that they are people just like us.
Consider that most of us don’t want to get into a fistfight with a thug. We don’t want to have a shootout with robbers, anarchists, terrorists, and the like. We don’t want to deal with a mugger, or even with a loudmouth ignorant person who insists that his or her way is right, and you are an ass. That is where the police come in. They handle your problem.
The police are manned (or womaned) by people just like you and I. But they are exceptional people who will do things that most of us are incapable or unwilling to do. What they have is what we lack in general.
Training:
Dedication:
Sacrifice:
Once in law enforcement, a person gives up a number of things. The pay is not commensurate with the sacrifice and the effort. Family life is uncertain due to unscheduled events. Insurance against liability to civil suits, and life become expensive. Continuous and rigorous training are necessary. Always being on duty adds more stress, and tends to jeopardize people around the person. Competition and advancing in the ranks is essential, but it transcends the general idea. Say, if you work at Walmart, you don’t have to be a better shot or a super negotiator in a hostage situation to get a promotion. If you are police, you do.
A weapon is a great equalizer. A 150-pound man, whom I would call of slight build, can be subdued by a trained police person. With a weapon in the person’s hand the situation escalates. The slim misfit with a two-by-four coming at me is deadly. Any man or woman with a knife can cover a few feet in a second before I realize that I need to step out of the way. Then there are drug-induced anesthesias. A person affected by certain drugs feel no pain. Even being shot, cut, slashed, hit with blunt instruments have no effect on them. They will go on with a broken leg. If they come at me, only a totally deadly force will stop them. Even though I would be cleared of criminal wrongdoing since I had to protect myself, there is the inevitable civil suit following, for which I have to pay lawyers to defend myself.
After a while I no longer throw up seeing a mangled body. I still feel protective of women and children, but I tend to be hardened against lies and rhetoric by assumed criminals. I go to court to give evidence, and try not to take sides. I try to go back to work with a clear mind and conscience. But all that comes with a price. I know what is going on, and I try to filter the feelings that would incapacitate me. My family is still precious, but even with them I need to maintain a distance. I have a different standard for dealing with them as opposed to dealing with public. Stress is a way of life forever. I am changed, just like the warriors who return from wars.
You may not have guessed, but I am somewhat of a writer. I have published a lot of material that related my experiences. All that was under my real name. That is why I don’t want to get explicit about the subject. But that still leaves a fair amount of latitude to say what I want.
Some people have hatred toward the police. Where I grew up, it was justified, just as some of you may feel. But I doubt that anyone reading this blog is from such environment. Mine was different, and I will not elaborate on it, for the purpose of keeping my identity private. I assure you, I was not one of the “inner city” denizens, yet, the police, in my mind, was the enemy.
I warn you to ignore the crap that you see on television and in the movies. As a start, they are fiction. They may be based on reality at best. They are mostly sensationalized and eroticized fluff just to make entertainment. Some of those “On the Street” shows where you are watching real time are realistic, so that is not what I am disparaging here.
If you are still with me, we may be in three camps. Those of you, who have had only the bad experience of being stuffed into the back of a police car, may think that our police are bad. You may think that they just “serve the Man” and that they could die and you would be better off. I would not try to change your mind. You will do so yourself as a result of age. Most people accumulate some wisdom by a certain age in their life.
The second camp contains those who had been in some dire circumstance from which the police bailed them out. At that point you realize that there are some dedicated and brave people who will serve the deserving and undeserving without expecting compensation. This realization is rare, but it happens. And after that, you might forget it until the next time you need the police to rescue you.
This leaves some folks who are either in law enforcement, are married into it, or have a close relative who is in it. These people are different. Until you have a loved one who dies as a result of some lowlife’s joy ride, you can’t really appreciate the pain. If you have a son, daughter, husband, or wife who goes out every day jeopardizing his life for the rest of us you know that they are people just like us.
Consider that most of us don’t want to get into a fistfight with a thug. We don’t want to have a shootout with robbers, anarchists, terrorists, and the like. We don’t want to deal with a mugger, or even with a loudmouth ignorant person who insists that his or her way is right, and you are an ass. That is where the police come in. They handle your problem.
The police are manned (or womaned) by people just like you and I. But they are exceptional people who will do things that most of us are incapable or unwilling to do. What they have is what we lack in general.
Training:
They are willing to go through rigorous training for a long time. This training eliminates those who are not capable or dedicated enough. Physical and mental conditioning becomes a way of life.
Dedication:
Few of us want to be called at any hour of the day to attend a situation where we could be killed. Yet the police will go with that. They know the risks and the annoyances. They don’t like to be awakened from sleep and put on a uniform to go to a hostage situation, but they will do it. They don’t want to get between a citizen and the gunman in a shootout, but they will do it. They don’t want to see the gore in a high-speed crash and deal with the relatives of the dead victim, but it is part of the job.
Sacrifice:
The job is rewarding, but it is also stressful. I will not talk of the thrill here, although I admit that it is addictive. It is the stress part that becomes devastating over time. It destroys one’s life. It destroys one’s family. Alcoholism is common, and may lead to drugs and crime. No man or woman is immune to the false and momentary relaxation that these drugs offer. Suicide is common.
Once in law enforcement, a person gives up a number of things. The pay is not commensurate with the sacrifice and the effort. Family life is uncertain due to unscheduled events. Insurance against liability to civil suits, and life become expensive. Continuous and rigorous training are necessary. Always being on duty adds more stress, and tends to jeopardize people around the person. Competition and advancing in the ranks is essential, but it transcends the general idea. Say, if you work at Walmart, you don’t have to be a better shot or a super negotiator in a hostage situation to get a promotion. If you are police, you do.
A weapon is a great equalizer. A 150-pound man, whom I would call of slight build, can be subdued by a trained police person. With a weapon in the person’s hand the situation escalates. The slim misfit with a two-by-four coming at me is deadly. Any man or woman with a knife can cover a few feet in a second before I realize that I need to step out of the way. Then there are drug-induced anesthesias. A person affected by certain drugs feel no pain. Even being shot, cut, slashed, hit with blunt instruments have no effect on them. They will go on with a broken leg. If they come at me, only a totally deadly force will stop them. Even though I would be cleared of criminal wrongdoing since I had to protect myself, there is the inevitable civil suit following, for which I have to pay lawyers to defend myself.
After a while I no longer throw up seeing a mangled body. I still feel protective of women and children, but I tend to be hardened against lies and rhetoric by assumed criminals. I go to court to give evidence, and try not to take sides. I try to go back to work with a clear mind and conscience. But all that comes with a price. I know what is going on, and I try to filter the feelings that would incapacitate me. My family is still precious, but even with them I need to maintain a distance. I have a different standard for dealing with them as opposed to dealing with public. Stress is a way of life forever. I am changed, just like the warriors who return from wars.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Degree of Submission
The FLR Manifesto
I ran across a posting that was supposedly gleaned from Ms Rika. The posting was at Domestic Bliss and the Submissive Man dated December 18, 2005. It details in explicit terms what a submissive man should do for his love of dominance. I want to give it the name, “FLR manifesto”, in a local sense just so I can refer to it later. You will have to read or skim it before you can appreciate my comments here. I include the text for two reasons: (1) sometimes blogs go away, so if I just link to it, I may be sending you to nowhere, and (2) Ms Rika’s blog appears to have been hijacked, and I cannot access it to confirm this.
First I want to state that, “It is a great thing a man can do for his dominant partner.” It is just that I had some rebellious thoughts while reading it. For one thing, the situation described is totally lopsided. For the other, “Would she really want all that?” It seems to me a form of manipulation by the submissive. But please, correct me if you think that I am wrong.
A Wife Is Only a Servant
Let’s backtrack to the dark ages, and assume that some well-disciplined and all-knowing older matron is describing the role for a young married woman. Just substitute "he" for "she", "him" for "her", etc. in the FLR manifesto, and you get the suggested role reversal. She is doing all of this for her husband. There is an assumption on this suggested male-led-role-reversal, and that is, he, the husband, earns a living for both of them, and all her real needs are met. By real needs I mean food and shelter. Anything else is luxury. Aside from the unstated assumption that she is expected to produce (husband participates in this to a certain extent), nurture, and raise several children, her role in life is well defined within the limits. He is in charge, she does the work, and as often as the husband requires provides sexual pleasure for him.
A Husband Is Only a Servant
In the referenced link nobody said anything about earning a living. This is another unstated assumption. The trouble with this assumption is that it is based on a variable that can be troublesome. If the couple under discussion has enough wealth such that their living expenses are covered, then earning a living is not an issue. That frees a lot of time for one or the other to do domestic and personal duties to and for the dominant person.
Alternatively, if the woman works outside the home and earns enough to keep them financially stable, then the situation is workable. In this scenario the female led relationship makes as much sense as the male led relationship does in the above MLR example. Sure, she is still expected to produce children, but the nurturing, raising, etc., revert to the husband.
To make the comparison more simple, we can subtract the part having to do with children. In that case, one partner works outside the home to earn a living, the other stays at home and is barely above the status of a slave, or at best, a servant. He or she may not receive recognition for service, and his or her life as the submissive partner becomes one of permanent drudgery. Whether MLR or FLR, the situation is the same. The dominant partner lives the life of a decadent tyrant at least at home. There may be some fringe benefits given to the slave/servant, but not guaranteed. Other than that, it can still be considered a consensual marriage or partnership.
My Point Of View
As the head kinkster in the family I could visualize myself being the submissive partner here. I could live with it for a few days, or maybe a couple of weeks. But I can see even before getting into it hip-deep that there would be unrest among the ranks of the submissives, maybe even protests! I can abide drudgery and lack of pay for a while. But if I am so damn good as to satisfy the FLR manifesto, then I want some recognition for it. Having a life sentence of servitude without redemption and rewards is not satisfying for me.
I know that there are degrees or submission. There are men who consider themselves sub human when compared to any woman. They may feel totally worthless, and hope that some woman will give them a break and allow them to serve her. I have just one problem with that: why would any woman want a totally worthless man to serve her when she can get a man who has value? But I don’t want to get sidetracked here, so I will drop the question.
There are men who don’t feel worthless or sub human, nevertheless, they feel it their duty and destiny to serve a woman to any extent that she desires. That is fine, if the man in question can and will actually do that unconditionally. But there is the rub: there are always conditions attached to this unconditional service. Skip the conditions, and you have slave rebellion in the making.
I am not one of those men who feel worthless and want to serve unconditionally. Let’s say that I had to work for a living, and was still willing, or be drafted to satisfy the FLR manifesto. I would immediately have some unresolved issues with respect to getting enough sleep, have time to keep in shape, and taking time to relax once in a while. If, in addition to that, my female partner spent her day lounging around with no tangible result of her hours awake, I would be resentful after the first few days. She could be the ideal dominatress, and treat or mistreat me in any way that satisfied my kink, and I would still become distressed at the inequity. Let’s just say that I would not make an ideal slave except in short bursts, such as when we are on a vacation away from home.
In conclusion I want to state that whether in FLR or MLR, the dominant partner has responsibilities to satisfy the submissive partner, otherwise the relationship is doomed. As to how to provide this satisfaction, well, that depends on the particular relationship. As long as they are both happy with it, anything goes. Even in the far-fetched fantasy scenario presented by whoever is posting this stuff there is a need for mutual satisfaction, otherwise one or the other partner will call it quits, and for a good reason.
Now, if it were true slavery, then only one partner needs satisfaction. But we are not really considering that.
I ran across a posting that was supposedly gleaned from Ms Rika. The posting was at Domestic Bliss and the Submissive Man dated December 18, 2005. It details in explicit terms what a submissive man should do for his love of dominance. I want to give it the name, “FLR manifesto”, in a local sense just so I can refer to it later. You will have to read or skim it before you can appreciate my comments here. I include the text for two reasons: (1) sometimes blogs go away, so if I just link to it, I may be sending you to nowhere, and (2) Ms Rika’s blog appears to have been hijacked, and I cannot access it to confirm this.
Housework:
1. Cook all meals and clean up afterwards.
2. Prepare a weekly menu and review it with your partner
3. Do the shopping for the food, track food usage, and keep the kitchen stocked.
4. Clean the bathrooms (with brushes and cleanser, not your tongue).
5. Make the beds (including the pillows).
6. Do the laundry, iron, fold and put away.
7. Dust and vacuum and yes, do the windows too :).
8. Put out potpourris, candles, or oils with her favorite scents so that the house is always fragrant.
9. Feed, bathe, and groom the pets.
10. Take the children to school (or bring them to the bus stop).
11. Do home repairs within your capabilities.
12. Take the garbage pails to the curb on garbage nights.
13. Clean the pails after the garbage has been collected.
14. Package the recycling, wrap the newspapers and bring them to the curb on recycling days.
15. Prepare the monthly bills and payments for review and prepare all checks for the domme's signature.
Yardwork :
16. Mow, edge, and trim the yard regularly.
17. Take care of the garden beds and trim the trees.
18. Make certain the lawn and flower beds are watered regularly.
19. Care for the pool and spa.
20. Keep the patio, drive, and garage swept and clean,including cobwebs.
21. Remove the leaves from the gutters.
Nightly Activities:
22. Bring late night snacks while his partner watches TV.
23. Give up the remote! LOL!
24. Go on the Internet and research the Dish schedule (or TV Guide) and print out items which are of interest to the domme.
25. Get on the Internet and read the papers and her magazines to create the equivalent of an executive clipping service... articles of interest with key points highlighted.
26. Take down her bed (including the pillows).
27. Sit on the toilet seat before she needs to go in (in the winter it gets kind of cold).
28. Take her cell phone from her bag and put it on the charger (and then put it back in her bag, turned on, in the morning).
29. Draw the blinds and shades (and open them in the morning).
30. Put toothpaste on her toothbrush.
31. Fill her glass with water.
32. Bring her slippers.
33. Brush her hair.
34. Lay out the clothes she selects and press as appropriate.
35. Light scented candles, and put them out after she is asleep.
36. MASSAGE her back until she falls asleep (every night) :):):)
In the Car:
37. Keep a pager or cell phone so you can be called to pick her up at a moments notice.38. Ask her if she'd prefer to drive!
39. If not, drive her wherever she needs to go and wait for her tocome out.
40. Arrive at the front of the building within 10 seconds of her first step outside the door, 5 if the weather is not good. Keep an umbrella handy and escort her to the car if it's raining.
41. Keep her favorite magazines and CDs in the car.
42. Never, ever criticize her driving or suggest a "quicker way" (unless she requests it).
43. Wash the car regularly inside and out.
44. Preheat and de-ice the car on cold mornings.Around the House:
45. Pee sitting down so that the toilet seat is never up and you don't leave "droplets".
46. Prepare her bath (and the kid's baths, if appropriate) and run the water until it's warm for her showers.
47. Paint her toenails.
48. Pick up her shoes from the front hallway and carry them to her closet, inspect them and polish them as need be (with real polish, not saliva).
49. Keep her favorite magazines, books and CD's ready in her favorite sitting areas.
50. Answer the phone and make phone calls for her (such as ordering items she's marked in a catalogue).
First I want to state that, “It is a great thing a man can do for his dominant partner.” It is just that I had some rebellious thoughts while reading it. For one thing, the situation described is totally lopsided. For the other, “Would she really want all that?” It seems to me a form of manipulation by the submissive. But please, correct me if you think that I am wrong.
A Wife Is Only a Servant
Let’s backtrack to the dark ages, and assume that some well-disciplined and all-knowing older matron is describing the role for a young married woman. Just substitute "he" for "she", "him" for "her", etc. in the FLR manifesto, and you get the suggested role reversal. She is doing all of this for her husband. There is an assumption on this suggested male-led-role-reversal, and that is, he, the husband, earns a living for both of them, and all her real needs are met. By real needs I mean food and shelter. Anything else is luxury. Aside from the unstated assumption that she is expected to produce (husband participates in this to a certain extent), nurture, and raise several children, her role in life is well defined within the limits. He is in charge, she does the work, and as often as the husband requires provides sexual pleasure for him.
A Husband Is Only a Servant
In the referenced link nobody said anything about earning a living. This is another unstated assumption. The trouble with this assumption is that it is based on a variable that can be troublesome. If the couple under discussion has enough wealth such that their living expenses are covered, then earning a living is not an issue. That frees a lot of time for one or the other to do domestic and personal duties to and for the dominant person.
Alternatively, if the woman works outside the home and earns enough to keep them financially stable, then the situation is workable. In this scenario the female led relationship makes as much sense as the male led relationship does in the above MLR example. Sure, she is still expected to produce children, but the nurturing, raising, etc., revert to the husband.
To make the comparison more simple, we can subtract the part having to do with children. In that case, one partner works outside the home to earn a living, the other stays at home and is barely above the status of a slave, or at best, a servant. He or she may not receive recognition for service, and his or her life as the submissive partner becomes one of permanent drudgery. Whether MLR or FLR, the situation is the same. The dominant partner lives the life of a decadent tyrant at least at home. There may be some fringe benefits given to the slave/servant, but not guaranteed. Other than that, it can still be considered a consensual marriage or partnership.
My Point Of View
As the head kinkster in the family I could visualize myself being the submissive partner here. I could live with it for a few days, or maybe a couple of weeks. But I can see even before getting into it hip-deep that there would be unrest among the ranks of the submissives, maybe even protests! I can abide drudgery and lack of pay for a while. But if I am so damn good as to satisfy the FLR manifesto, then I want some recognition for it. Having a life sentence of servitude without redemption and rewards is not satisfying for me.
I know that there are degrees or submission. There are men who consider themselves sub human when compared to any woman. They may feel totally worthless, and hope that some woman will give them a break and allow them to serve her. I have just one problem with that: why would any woman want a totally worthless man to serve her when she can get a man who has value? But I don’t want to get sidetracked here, so I will drop the question.
There are men who don’t feel worthless or sub human, nevertheless, they feel it their duty and destiny to serve a woman to any extent that she desires. That is fine, if the man in question can and will actually do that unconditionally. But there is the rub: there are always conditions attached to this unconditional service. Skip the conditions, and you have slave rebellion in the making.
I am not one of those men who feel worthless and want to serve unconditionally. Let’s say that I had to work for a living, and was still willing, or be drafted to satisfy the FLR manifesto. I would immediately have some unresolved issues with respect to getting enough sleep, have time to keep in shape, and taking time to relax once in a while. If, in addition to that, my female partner spent her day lounging around with no tangible result of her hours awake, I would be resentful after the first few days. She could be the ideal dominatress, and treat or mistreat me in any way that satisfied my kink, and I would still become distressed at the inequity. Let’s just say that I would not make an ideal slave except in short bursts, such as when we are on a vacation away from home.
In conclusion I want to state that whether in FLR or MLR, the dominant partner has responsibilities to satisfy the submissive partner, otherwise the relationship is doomed. As to how to provide this satisfaction, well, that depends on the particular relationship. As long as they are both happy with it, anything goes. Even in the far-fetched fantasy scenario presented by whoever is posting this stuff there is a need for mutual satisfaction, otherwise one or the other partner will call it quits, and for a good reason.
Now, if it were true slavery, then only one partner needs satisfaction. But we are not really considering that.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Decisions, Decisions ...
A lovely lady, who has impressed me with more than her bent on fetish, made a comment that prompts me to do this. One of my options is to broaden the scope of this blog. I did say that a while back, and it is one of the significant alternatives to just quitting. Generally, you win some, and you lose some audience. But I must move on.
Today is a gusty spring day. The temperature is pleasant, the air is clear. The house is open to the winds. Some windows produce a howl that is reminiscent of ghostly movies. I love it. We get some fine dust as an unneeded bonus, but we enjoy the outdoors indoors also. I feel quite comfortable in my natural state without needing heating or cooling, at least during the day.
Of our two big dogs, the favorite one was allowed to come in. He was all over the place to reaffirm his dominion. His pseudo mother, our spotted cat, groomed him. She was able to reach him only as he lay on his side while relieving his puppy hood when she adopted him years ago. As I was writing I popped a couple of peanuts into my mouth. The dog naturally took interest. I dropped one peanut on the carpet for him. He made quite a show of appreciating it. An hour or so later he vomited on the same spot. I let him out of the house, and then cleaned up the mess. Peanuts are off his menu henceforth.
I enjoy heavy-duty weight lifting six days a week. Even when I really exhaust myself on hard labor the previous day, early each morning I go to the dungeon and spend from forty to sixty-minutes pumping iron.
But I have a problem. It has to do with some injuries that get in the way of trying to do all of this justice. I am right handed. Consequently, my left side is the “weak side”. It is vulnerable, and prone to injury. Over the years I have accumulated enough for a lifetime. I have gone through a shoulder injury recently that set back my bodybuilding for a few months. The left shoulder is now holding its own without blatant signs of worsening, but now my left elbow complains. I can do some stressful exercises with my right arm, but not the left. Unless I want to become lopsided, I must make a choice between limiting all to what my weak side can do, or make it worse. Damn. It is the curse of old age. My muscles are all willing and able, but some of the joints can’t support the stress. Where is bionic technology when I need it?
I am not disrespecting my left side. I have learned to write with my (weak) left hand, and do an adequate job of it. In law enforcement, I am required to qualify shooting with my weak hand, and I do so. My left hand is basically used to relive my right hand when I need it, and it works. Still, it is not as finely honed as the right. Somehow, masturbating with my weak hand is not that satisfactory. I have yet to ask my wife’s opinion on the performance of the Sinister versus the Dexter appendage when it comes to her pleasure.
About the decisions… I have a need to write. Just as an artist has a need to paint, sculpt, write music, etc., I must write. Until I change the venue I will do some writing here. So, my emphasis may not be always on FLR on this blog, but at least I can provoke some people so that I can respond with witty comebacks and we all can have some fun.
Today is a gusty spring day. The temperature is pleasant, the air is clear. The house is open to the winds. Some windows produce a howl that is reminiscent of ghostly movies. I love it. We get some fine dust as an unneeded bonus, but we enjoy the outdoors indoors also. I feel quite comfortable in my natural state without needing heating or cooling, at least during the day.
Of our two big dogs, the favorite one was allowed to come in. He was all over the place to reaffirm his dominion. His pseudo mother, our spotted cat, groomed him. She was able to reach him only as he lay on his side while relieving his puppy hood when she adopted him years ago. As I was writing I popped a couple of peanuts into my mouth. The dog naturally took interest. I dropped one peanut on the carpet for him. He made quite a show of appreciating it. An hour or so later he vomited on the same spot. I let him out of the house, and then cleaned up the mess. Peanuts are off his menu henceforth.
I enjoy heavy-duty weight lifting six days a week. Even when I really exhaust myself on hard labor the previous day, early each morning I go to the dungeon and spend from forty to sixty-minutes pumping iron.
But I have a problem. It has to do with some injuries that get in the way of trying to do all of this justice. I am right handed. Consequently, my left side is the “weak side”. It is vulnerable, and prone to injury. Over the years I have accumulated enough for a lifetime. I have gone through a shoulder injury recently that set back my bodybuilding for a few months. The left shoulder is now holding its own without blatant signs of worsening, but now my left elbow complains. I can do some stressful exercises with my right arm, but not the left. Unless I want to become lopsided, I must make a choice between limiting all to what my weak side can do, or make it worse. Damn. It is the curse of old age. My muscles are all willing and able, but some of the joints can’t support the stress. Where is bionic technology when I need it?
I am not disrespecting my left side. I have learned to write with my (weak) left hand, and do an adequate job of it. In law enforcement, I am required to qualify shooting with my weak hand, and I do so. My left hand is basically used to relive my right hand when I need it, and it works. Still, it is not as finely honed as the right. Somehow, masturbating with my weak hand is not that satisfactory. I have yet to ask my wife’s opinion on the performance of the Sinister versus the Dexter appendage when it comes to her pleasure.
About the decisions… I have a need to write. Just as an artist has a need to paint, sculpt, write music, etc., I must write. Until I change the venue I will do some writing here. So, my emphasis may not be always on FLR on this blog, but at least I can provoke some people so that I can respond with witty comebacks and we all can have some fun.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
My Interest In Blogging About FLR Is Waning
I used to have a website. It was not a “blog”, but a domain that I built and maintained from scratch for a certain set of interested audience. I used an HTML editor to create a lot of good stuff. I had fun with it. But after some years the rewards appeared to be less, or my expectations were too much. I killed the website at that point. I still feel the pain.
I am not into narrow aspects of FLR or D/S to the extent that they would become the focus of my blog. Consequently, I don’t wish to compete with such blogs. FLR is still my purpose, but keeping an audience while limiting the topic to vanilla FLR is not rewarding enough for me, and not challenging enough to the readers. Just think: a couple of years ago FLR was radical. Today it is ho-hum unless you throw in some kinky sex (or lack of it!).
I have not posted outrageous subjects in order to gain attention. The visits are apparently based on word content. Neither have I included commercial material. All pictures posted have been my own, with one or two exceptions, which I duly noted. At the time of this writing the visits to my blog are over 117,000 since the beginning of 2008. I am sure that some readers were bored, while others were pissed. Based on the count of repeated readers, at least some were satisfied, or hoped for more material.
There are two issues unresolved with the imminent demise of this blog. The first issue is that the blog was spawned by Mistress Wife. While postings have been written by me, they were subject to her approval. My complete dissociation with the blog is still subject to her approval. However, my adding or not to the blog is my prerogative. The other issue is the likelihood that I become identified based on my posts. After enough time this would be inevitable. I am not ashamed of what I am or of what I do. There are some small-minded people out there who could and would use it against me. At some point I begin not to care about that. But as long as I have to earn a living, it matters.
The FLR part of my life will remain, at least in our private space. I want to emphasize that MW and I are still as committed to FLR as before. We have been working through problems unrelated to our relationship, and it is consuming most of her energy. I am patient, and feel no need to change. I have enjoyed reporting our experiences. But there is a difficulty keeping strictly FLR from other issues. And the other issues are, for the moment, more compelling.
I need to make some decisions: should I take a sabbatical? Should I stop blogging? Should I change to a broader format? Should I delete the blog? Should I delete my ID?
There is no compelling reason to do anything at this moment, but just so you know the decision is pending. I may check in from time to time or may post if something fascinating occurs. I may become recharged or reoriented. It would be nice, but things change, so I don’t know whether I will have the same feelings as I did at the beginning. I still have a lot of provocative and non-political material to be posted, but at this point that, too, is uncertain.
I treasure the fine people who had commented in a civil and benign manner whether agreeing with me or not. Some of you have not commented, and that is all right. As for the others, I don’t give a rat’s ass.
If I toss my ID, we may meet again in cyberspace after my reincarnation.
Yes, I have had a couple of beers while writing this. But as I said, “I do my best writing while under the influence.” Writing keeps me off the streets (except when I am working).
I am not into narrow aspects of FLR or D/S to the extent that they would become the focus of my blog. Consequently, I don’t wish to compete with such blogs. FLR is still my purpose, but keeping an audience while limiting the topic to vanilla FLR is not rewarding enough for me, and not challenging enough to the readers. Just think: a couple of years ago FLR was radical. Today it is ho-hum unless you throw in some kinky sex (or lack of it!).
I have not posted outrageous subjects in order to gain attention. The visits are apparently based on word content. Neither have I included commercial material. All pictures posted have been my own, with one or two exceptions, which I duly noted. At the time of this writing the visits to my blog are over 117,000 since the beginning of 2008. I am sure that some readers were bored, while others were pissed. Based on the count of repeated readers, at least some were satisfied, or hoped for more material.
There are two issues unresolved with the imminent demise of this blog. The first issue is that the blog was spawned by Mistress Wife. While postings have been written by me, they were subject to her approval. My complete dissociation with the blog is still subject to her approval. However, my adding or not to the blog is my prerogative. The other issue is the likelihood that I become identified based on my posts. After enough time this would be inevitable. I am not ashamed of what I am or of what I do. There are some small-minded people out there who could and would use it against me. At some point I begin not to care about that. But as long as I have to earn a living, it matters.
The FLR part of my life will remain, at least in our private space. I want to emphasize that MW and I are still as committed to FLR as before. We have been working through problems unrelated to our relationship, and it is consuming most of her energy. I am patient, and feel no need to change. I have enjoyed reporting our experiences. But there is a difficulty keeping strictly FLR from other issues. And the other issues are, for the moment, more compelling.
I need to make some decisions: should I take a sabbatical? Should I stop blogging? Should I change to a broader format? Should I delete the blog? Should I delete my ID?
There is no compelling reason to do anything at this moment, but just so you know the decision is pending. I may check in from time to time or may post if something fascinating occurs. I may become recharged or reoriented. It would be nice, but things change, so I don’t know whether I will have the same feelings as I did at the beginning. I still have a lot of provocative and non-political material to be posted, but at this point that, too, is uncertain.
I treasure the fine people who had commented in a civil and benign manner whether agreeing with me or not. Some of you have not commented, and that is all right. As for the others, I don’t give a rat’s ass.
If I toss my ID, we may meet again in cyberspace after my reincarnation.
Yes, I have had a couple of beers while writing this. But as I said, “I do my best writing while under the influence.” Writing keeps me off the streets (except when I am working).
Monday, March 9, 2009
Everyone Take a Deep Breath ... No, Don't Hold It. Exhale!
I Am Not Entirely Derailed
I realize that I have entered some territory that has nothing to do with FLR. My occasional pontifications cover other subjects that in general are considered part of FLR. This time it is something dear to my heart, my being, my family, my country, and the government of the United States of America. I assumed that in the spirit of our founding fathers, who were masters at deciding what was important (see United States Constitution), we can point out failures and suggest solutions. Alas, some take it as political, and really get on my case. This post is addressing that issue. As for the rest of my blog, it is still there, at least for a while. I have some tentative plans for that too. I promise to either get back to FLR or … something.
When Public Education Fails
I apologize to some of you who usually comment under “Anonymous”. I think it does not work any more. The reason is that I have had some minor annoyances with comments from some readers who hide behind anonymity while flaming me, so I try to limit the damages.
Let’s say that I am an uninvited guest at your home. Your door is open, and I walk in. You make a statement of your opinion with respect to a potentially controversial issue. If I have an opposite view, I may want to comment on it. Being somewhat civilized, educated, and versed in diplomacy I would not call you names. I would not attack your family or pets. I would not use foul language. I would not try to make you feel guilty of having a different opinion. Yet those actions are exactly what some readers do when commenting on my post.
I realize that political issues are known to create volatile conversations. But my points are not political. They are philosophical. They deal with our government, not political parties or individuals. If two people cannot have a philosophical discussion without resorting to behavior described above, one or both of them are either unintelligent or unenlightened.
In my previous post Comments On Gov'ment 2 I said that I reject some comments because of the extreme language and content. Yet I did let one such comment to be posted under Gov'ment 2. I did this to allow one of these people to demonstrate to all of us what he is and what kind of persons he represents.
He and the others so adroitly demonstrate their fifth-grade-level-education-going-on-twelve! Beside their bad grammar, bad composition, and sloppy typing, they have a hard time articulating their message without resorting to vulgarity and vicious attack. Here is the text of one of the messages:
I can almost understand what he is trying to say. Not that it matters…
This is yet another example of education provided “free” by the Gov’ment. The little darlings are forced to hold down a chair in a classroom for twelve years, and this is what they have to show for it at the end. If anyone really needs a level playing field, this person is it. No wonder he had an extreme reaction to my posts.
I did not want to further pollute blog-space, so I have decided against allowing or quoting the rest of these vitriolic messages. I also wanted to spare the feelings of these people, since they would find their writing embarrassing upon reflection.
Public education in the USA is like “Universal Health Care” provided free for all. Not only is it free, but mandatory for the first twelve years or so depending on the age of the unwilling student.
Everybody knows that there is no such thing as free education. Someone is paying for it. I am paying for it, so are most of people I know. I don’t begrudge education offered to families who have school aged children. Our country thrives on people of ability, knowledge, and willingness to learn. What I resent is wasting resources on those who don’t need it, don’t want it, and will never do anything with it to pay back society’s contribution to their betterment. When a young person wastes twelve years in school and is capable only of writing such garbage as shown above, I insist that the resources have been wasted.
I am not saying, “Don’t help them to get an education.” I am saying that the way we are providing the help is a failure.
I realize that I have entered some territory that has nothing to do with FLR. My occasional pontifications cover other subjects that in general are considered part of FLR. This time it is something dear to my heart, my being, my family, my country, and the government of the United States of America. I assumed that in the spirit of our founding fathers, who were masters at deciding what was important (see United States Constitution), we can point out failures and suggest solutions. Alas, some take it as political, and really get on my case. This post is addressing that issue. As for the rest of my blog, it is still there, at least for a while. I have some tentative plans for that too. I promise to either get back to FLR or … something.
When Public Education Fails
I apologize to some of you who usually comment under “Anonymous”. I think it does not work any more. The reason is that I have had some minor annoyances with comments from some readers who hide behind anonymity while flaming me, so I try to limit the damages.
Let’s say that I am an uninvited guest at your home. Your door is open, and I walk in. You make a statement of your opinion with respect to a potentially controversial issue. If I have an opposite view, I may want to comment on it. Being somewhat civilized, educated, and versed in diplomacy I would not call you names. I would not attack your family or pets. I would not use foul language. I would not try to make you feel guilty of having a different opinion. Yet those actions are exactly what some readers do when commenting on my post.
I realize that political issues are known to create volatile conversations. But my points are not political. They are philosophical. They deal with our government, not political parties or individuals. If two people cannot have a philosophical discussion without resorting to behavior described above, one or both of them are either unintelligent or unenlightened.
In my previous post Comments On Gov'ment 2 I said that I reject some comments because of the extreme language and content. Yet I did let one such comment to be posted under Gov'ment 2. I did this to allow one of these people to demonstrate to all of us what he is and what kind of persons he represents.
He and the others so adroitly demonstrate their fifth-grade-level-education-going-on-twelve! Beside their bad grammar, bad composition, and sloppy typing, they have a hard time articulating their message without resorting to vulgarity and vicious attack. Here is the text of one of the messages:
“Hey man. I remember you saying tghat you waneted comments to your blog. now
that your getting them, youbdon't want them. Youre flr is boring, except for
that cat wow!
Obame blose.”
I can almost understand what he is trying to say. Not that it matters…
This is yet another example of education provided “free” by the Gov’ment. The little darlings are forced to hold down a chair in a classroom for twelve years, and this is what they have to show for it at the end. If anyone really needs a level playing field, this person is it. No wonder he had an extreme reaction to my posts.
I did not want to further pollute blog-space, so I have decided against allowing or quoting the rest of these vitriolic messages. I also wanted to spare the feelings of these people, since they would find their writing embarrassing upon reflection.
Public education in the USA is like “Universal Health Care” provided free for all. Not only is it free, but mandatory for the first twelve years or so depending on the age of the unwilling student.
Everybody knows that there is no such thing as free education. Someone is paying for it. I am paying for it, so are most of people I know. I don’t begrudge education offered to families who have school aged children. Our country thrives on people of ability, knowledge, and willingness to learn. What I resent is wasting resources on those who don’t need it, don’t want it, and will never do anything with it to pay back society’s contribution to their betterment. When a young person wastes twelve years in school and is capable only of writing such garbage as shown above, I insist that the resources have been wasted.
I am not saying, “Don’t help them to get an education.” I am saying that the way we are providing the help is a failure.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Comments on Gov'ment 2
I screen readers’ comments before they appear after a post. It is a form of censorship. I don’t allow viciousness, name-calling, and potentially libelous accusations. Other than that, anything goes.
My recent post elicited some of that kind of response. I am convinced that people don’t “hear” what I am saying; rather, they “hear” what they want to hear. As usual, there is a gap.
I stay out of politics on this blog. I could handle a political debate, but I would alienate half the readers, and be patted on the head by the other half. That would detract from the original purpose of the blog, which is FLR.
Although I don’t discuss politics, I do discuss government. There is a difference between the two. Politics are a way to get elected, and in turn do what the government is supposed to do. I tend to be more philosophical in applying the rules. When something serious needs to be done, such as our response to the 9/11 attack on our country, politics should have been kept out of it. Alas, our legislators don’t see it that way, and it has been politics to the hilt ever since.
An anonymous reader (not the really insulting one) commented on this last post. Somehow he added a duplicate of his own comment. While I was trying to delete the duplicate, I inadvertently deleted both. I was able to use the back arrow and save the text, alas, the message itself was gone. As a way of expediency, I include the text here:
My response to Mr. Anonymous follows:
While anybody can leave an abrasive or insulting comment, only few people do. It is all right to disagree and say so, but be civil about it. In summary, the best comment you can make on something that you don’t like is to stop reading it.
My recent post elicited some of that kind of response. I am convinced that people don’t “hear” what I am saying; rather, they “hear” what they want to hear. As usual, there is a gap.
I stay out of politics on this blog. I could handle a political debate, but I would alienate half the readers, and be patted on the head by the other half. That would detract from the original purpose of the blog, which is FLR.
Although I don’t discuss politics, I do discuss government. There is a difference between the two. Politics are a way to get elected, and in turn do what the government is supposed to do. I tend to be more philosophical in applying the rules. When something serious needs to be done, such as our response to the 9/11 attack on our country, politics should have been kept out of it. Alas, our legislators don’t see it that way, and it has been politics to the hilt ever since.
An anonymous reader (not the really insulting one) commented on this last post. Somehow he added a duplicate of his own comment. While I was trying to delete the duplicate, I inadvertently deleted both. I was able to use the back arrow and save the text, alas, the message itself was gone. As a way of expediency, I include the text here:
"I suppose your hero is Bernie Madoff, who certainly "tilted the fucking playing field", and kicked a lot of people in the balls.
"Tell us truthfully, were you "in your beer" when you wrote this post? It sounds like the rantings of some drunken dope at the local watering hole.
You can do better than this.
My response to Mr. Anonymous follows:
I don’t have any heroes. Madoff is a criminal, and he will get what is coming to him. This is one place where the government does a good job, especially if this thief did not pay federal taxes on his loot.
True, I may have had a couple of beers by the time I wrote this piece. But I do my best writing “while under the influence.” I went back to the post the next day while I was still sober, and I “could not do better”.
While anybody can leave an abrasive or insulting comment, only few people do. It is all right to disagree and say so, but be civil about it. In summary, the best comment you can make on something that you don’t like is to stop reading it.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Gov'ment 2
My Ususal Disclaimer
Before you grab the pitchfork and the rope, I will give you my usual disclaimer.
I believe in equal rights for people. Each of us must have freedom to either make something of our lives or totally waste it.
I believe in charity. I help those who are in need. I select my charitable targets carefully.
I don't reward failures, but I encourage success. This goes along just fine with natural selection.
What I don't do is advocate dumbing down society just to make all of us even with the misfits and the loosers. Now that you know the general, I will get to the specific. Some of you who pay attention to what I mean rather than what I say may have figured out that I am a conservative in principle.
What that means is, I value self, family, friends, state, and country, in that order. It does not mean that I would flick off the country in favor of friends. I know my values, just that, there are priorities. Then again, I know who runs the country, and where my loyalties lie.
I grew up in another country where Socialism was the norm: take resources from the achievers, and give them to the non-achievers, thereby “level the playing field”. God, I hate that term, “level the playing field”.
I will tilt the fucking playing field any time, and kick you in the balls if you challenge me! All people are not born equal!
Some people are smart and quick, others are dull and stupid. Some people are willing to work hard, others watch television. It is the way of life, dammit!
I am somewhere between the extremes, and have learned to cope with it. But nobody tell me that all people are equal! If you think that, you are much less equal than I am.
Yes, I am much pissed at Socialists. I killed to get out of a country to get away from it. Alas, the USA, the greatest country on this earth ever, is sliding into Socialism before our very eyes as of the last presidential election.
I am not pointing fingers at specific people or political parties in this country. I am angry with the people who are uninformed and/or stupid, yet they think that they should make their voice known during elections. People, voting for “feel good”, “charismatic”, and “he or she will get me what I need” politicians will just kill your chances of success.
By my rules, “success” does not mean “to bring everyone down to your level.” To me, success means, "Use your resources to achieve what lesser individuals don’t know or don't try to achieve." You also must be rewarded for your effort. “Leveling the playing field” means the stupid and the slow get the boost, and you get the shaft. I am all for charity, but it should be where it belongs, and not “up my ass” as an achiever.
Only you, yourselves, can succeed. Regardless of what the politicians promise, they will have to take from you first before giving to anyone. And that would be without your approval. Of course, they will first take their cut, so what the give is always less than what they take. I don't see what is so difficult about this to understand. So, be as social or liberal as you want to be, but don’t complain to me when some of your precious possessions are taken and given to some schmuck who has never done anything of value for society.
Contrary to what you might think, I am a Liberal in the traditional sense: I want people to have free opinion and to express it any way that they want. I am against censorship of any nature. I am for free speech, free expression of values, keeping the state out of our private lives including religion, marriage, economics, family, education, etc. We the people can handle all that just fine, as long as the idiots in our government stay out of it. The bad things happen when some politician decides that he/she is smarter than the businessmen/woman who is running the show in the private sector. That is what caused today’s economic fiasco. More regulations will throttle initiatives. The government butting in is making it worse. Just leave us the hell alone!
I am not telling you how to live your life. I don’t define morality, religion, politics, sexuality, pornography, etc. I don’t give a damn what you do in your private life. But I do give a damn when what you do impacts my life. I want to defend myself, and I will pitch in when you or the country need my help. I spent years in the Army, and years in law enforcement. I care!
Other than that, leave me alone, and let me do my own business! I am not a two-bit politician. I know what I am doing.
Before you grab the pitchfork and the rope, I will give you my usual disclaimer.
I believe in equal rights for people. Each of us must have freedom to either make something of our lives or totally waste it.
I believe in charity. I help those who are in need. I select my charitable targets carefully.
I don't reward failures, but I encourage success. This goes along just fine with natural selection.
What I don't do is advocate dumbing down society just to make all of us even with the misfits and the loosers. Now that you know the general, I will get to the specific. Some of you who pay attention to what I mean rather than what I say may have figured out that I am a conservative in principle.
What that means is, I value self, family, friends, state, and country, in that order. It does not mean that I would flick off the country in favor of friends. I know my values, just that, there are priorities. Then again, I know who runs the country, and where my loyalties lie.
I grew up in another country where Socialism was the norm: take resources from the achievers, and give them to the non-achievers, thereby “level the playing field”. God, I hate that term, “level the playing field”.
I will tilt the fucking playing field any time, and kick you in the balls if you challenge me! All people are not born equal!
Some people are smart and quick, others are dull and stupid. Some people are willing to work hard, others watch television. It is the way of life, dammit!
I am somewhere between the extremes, and have learned to cope with it. But nobody tell me that all people are equal! If you think that, you are much less equal than I am.
Yes, I am much pissed at Socialists. I killed to get out of a country to get away from it. Alas, the USA, the greatest country on this earth ever, is sliding into Socialism before our very eyes as of the last presidential election.
I am not pointing fingers at specific people or political parties in this country. I am angry with the people who are uninformed and/or stupid, yet they think that they should make their voice known during elections. People, voting for “feel good”, “charismatic”, and “he or she will get me what I need” politicians will just kill your chances of success.
By my rules, “success” does not mean “to bring everyone down to your level.” To me, success means, "Use your resources to achieve what lesser individuals don’t know or don't try to achieve." You also must be rewarded for your effort. “Leveling the playing field” means the stupid and the slow get the boost, and you get the shaft. I am all for charity, but it should be where it belongs, and not “up my ass” as an achiever.
Only you, yourselves, can succeed. Regardless of what the politicians promise, they will have to take from you first before giving to anyone. And that would be without your approval. Of course, they will first take their cut, so what the give is always less than what they take. I don't see what is so difficult about this to understand. So, be as social or liberal as you want to be, but don’t complain to me when some of your precious possessions are taken and given to some schmuck who has never done anything of value for society.
Contrary to what you might think, I am a Liberal in the traditional sense: I want people to have free opinion and to express it any way that they want. I am against censorship of any nature. I am for free speech, free expression of values, keeping the state out of our private lives including religion, marriage, economics, family, education, etc. We the people can handle all that just fine, as long as the idiots in our government stay out of it. The bad things happen when some politician decides that he/she is smarter than the businessmen/woman who is running the show in the private sector. That is what caused today’s economic fiasco. More regulations will throttle initiatives. The government butting in is making it worse. Just leave us the hell alone!
I am not telling you how to live your life. I don’t define morality, religion, politics, sexuality, pornography, etc. I don’t give a damn what you do in your private life. But I do give a damn when what you do impacts my life. I want to defend myself, and I will pitch in when you or the country need my help. I spent years in the Army, and years in law enforcement. I care!
Other than that, leave me alone, and let me do my own business! I am not a two-bit politician. I know what I am doing.
Kinky? Yes, FLR? Maybe
As I have been writing, the last few months MW and I have been in a vanilla relationship with a kink. The vanilla part most of you, especially those who wish to be in FLR, know. The kink is her practice and perfection of Ignore And Denial. I am not bitching, just presenting the situation as I see it. And, oh yes, there is some semblance of FLR. After all, she whipped my ass for my birthday. Not in a mean way, just, you know, lovingly. If I told you how old I am, you would really feel sorry for me, for she gave me a whack on my ass for every year. Well, maybe the neighbor’s age was added in, but who is complaining? She alternated using a flogger and a riding crop. The last whack was with her bare hand (I love that!). What I really like about it is the personal attention by the woman whom I love. She could do a lot worse to me and I would still love it.
Wait! She does. But that is what I am saying.
I tend to get myself into shitty situations from time to time, like the Mistress Wife Returning potential disaster. Well, today was relatively mild. I remember the incident as I was doing hard labor on our estate. I worked up a sweat. After it was over I decided to shower as soon as I dropped my clothes, which I usually do when I enter the house. While soaping I ran across a protuberance on one of my cheeks. I tried to peel it off, but could not grab it with my broken fingernails. Since I am not a contortionist, I could not see what it was. After I dried myself I padded over to MW and said, “This is potentially embarrassing, for I don’t know what you will find, but please look at my butt. I have gathered either a thorn or a splinter.” I presented my backsides to her, and leaned forward to present my best view.
“Which side?” she asked.
“My right.”
She ran her hand over my skinny buns and quickly found the object of protrusion. She sent me to fetch tweezers, then proceeded to remove the quarter inch splinter.
This is what I mean by still having a vanilla relationship, which actually backs up the FLR that we have been holding in stasis for a while.
As I have been writing, the last few months MW and I have been in a vanilla relationship with a kink. The vanilla part most of you, especially those who wish to be in FLR, know. The kink is her practice and perfection of Ignore And Denial. I am not bitching, just presenting the situation as I see it. And, oh yes, there is some semblance of FLR. After all, she whipped my ass for my birthday. Not in a mean way, just, you know, lovingly. If I told you how old I am, you would really feel sorry for me, for she gave me a whack on my ass for every year. Well, maybe the neighbor’s age was added in, but who is complaining? She alternated using a flogger and a riding crop. The last whack was with her bare hand (I love that!). What I really like about it is the personal attention by the woman whom I love. She could do a lot worse to me and I would still love it.
Wait! She does. But that is what I am saying.
I tend to get myself into shitty situations from time to time, like the Mistress Wife Returning potential disaster. Well, today was relatively mild. I remember the incident as I was doing hard labor on our estate. I worked up a sweat. After it was over I decided to shower as soon as I dropped my clothes, which I usually do when I enter the house. While soaping I ran across a protuberance on one of my cheeks. I tried to peel it off, but could not grab it with my broken fingernails. Since I am not a contortionist, I could not see what it was. After I dried myself I padded over to MW and said, “This is potentially embarrassing, for I don’t know what you will find, but please look at my butt. I have gathered either a thorn or a splinter.” I presented my backsides to her, and leaned forward to present my best view.
“Which side?” she asked.
“My right.”
She ran her hand over my skinny buns and quickly found the object of protrusion. She sent me to fetch tweezers, then proceeded to remove the quarter inch splinter.
This is what I mean by still having a vanilla relationship, which actually backs up the FLR that we have been holding in stasis for a while.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A Real Dominant Woman This Time
Just so you don’t think that I am always negative and critical of blogs (OK, maybe critical), I am presenting you with this evaluation of one whose conclusion is different.
In my previous post I claimed that when a supposedly dominant woman writes her thoughts via a blog, she would present them from her point of view: “Even if she is dominant, and gets into a lot of kink, her interest and emphasis would be on herself, and not be on the man.” This is the criterion I use to decide whether a blog is written by a woman, or a man claiming to be a woman. In contrast to A Year Of Tease And Denial I present you with another link that appears to demonstrate my assertion: The Accidental Domme.
I take a chance on saying that the author of this last blog is real. I look forward to reading what she has to say. The only problem is that I can't leave a comment on her posts. The "word verification" window is presented, but there is no word displayed to enter. Consequently, my comment is not accepted.
In my previous post I claimed that when a supposedly dominant woman writes her thoughts via a blog, she would present them from her point of view: “Even if she is dominant, and gets into a lot of kink, her interest and emphasis would be on herself, and not be on the man.” This is the criterion I use to decide whether a blog is written by a woman, or a man claiming to be a woman. In contrast to A Year Of Tease And Denial I present you with another link that appears to demonstrate my assertion: The Accidental Domme.
I take a chance on saying that the author of this last blog is real. I look forward to reading what she has to say. The only problem is that I can't leave a comment on her posts. The "word verification" window is presented, but there is no word displayed to enter. Consequently, my comment is not accepted.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Another Potential Fake
I have been reading Denying Thumper for a short time. His saga is interesting and is going somewhere. In this particular link I was offered another link to A Year Of Teasing And Denial as a "good budding T/D blog". I went there and read it.
The blog is tasteful, nicely laid out. The writer is not bad as far as grammar and composition go. The situation presented is from the woman’s point of view, which should be an immediately provocative and attractive source for all submissive males. Simply reading the blog turns me on, and I can fall into the feel of the characters.
But from the beginning I had a feeling that a woman would not generally write this. Even if she is dominant, and gets into a lot of kink, her interest and emphasis would be on herself, and not be on the man. The man can still be her center of attention, but from her point of view, rather than his. If this is indeed a woman writing it, she is unusual, perhaps unique in her way to do all the things that a submissive man desires in such a short time: January 2009.
I think that the blog is based on a real relationship, written by the man, but not relaying real events. What he writes is how he would like his relationship to be and to progress. I don’t want to comment more on it for now, because if the writer gets to read my comments, he would try to adjust it to make it seem more real, therefore extend the deception.
Fake blogs always run out of steam for the reason that there is only fantasy behind it. Although fantasy is without limit, one can get bored with repeating it. This is an excellent example, when most of what a submissive man wants is dumped up front. He can get more kinky later, and he would, but most of what he wants had been covered already in a short time. The substance behind it is not there now, neither will it be there later.
The blog is tasteful, nicely laid out. The writer is not bad as far as grammar and composition go. The situation presented is from the woman’s point of view, which should be an immediately provocative and attractive source for all submissive males. Simply reading the blog turns me on, and I can fall into the feel of the characters.
But from the beginning I had a feeling that a woman would not generally write this. Even if she is dominant, and gets into a lot of kink, her interest and emphasis would be on herself, and not be on the man. The man can still be her center of attention, but from her point of view, rather than his. If this is indeed a woman writing it, she is unusual, perhaps unique in her way to do all the things that a submissive man desires in such a short time: January 2009.
I think that the blog is based on a real relationship, written by the man, but not relaying real events. What he writes is how he would like his relationship to be and to progress. I don’t want to comment more on it for now, because if the writer gets to read my comments, he would try to adjust it to make it seem more real, therefore extend the deception.
Fake blogs always run out of steam for the reason that there is only fantasy behind it. Although fantasy is without limit, one can get bored with repeating it. This is an excellent example, when most of what a submissive man wants is dumped up front. He can get more kinky later, and he would, but most of what he wants had been covered already in a short time. The substance behind it is not there now, neither will it be there later.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
This Thing About Slavery
I used to get off on reading about men enslaved by women, and used as love slaves, pets, beasts of burden, prisoners, and kitchen drudges. You know the genre of such books. I admit that I still drool reading any part of that, but somehow I transcended to a higher plane.
I read would-be-slave men’s comments on some blogs. They wish to be true slaves. They wish to be used and abused for the rest of their lives. It is a thought of misty softness that allows the man to give himself to a woman that way. She will use him sexually, and maybe lend his services to other women. Some men would also prefer their services provided to other men. It is a no-fault relationship because they are forced. They have no responsibility, just the pain and the joy. Hey, I have been there in my fantasies. I understand.
As far as fantasies go we can be from one extreme to another, and no harm is done. This is why, mostly unattached men, comment along these lines tending to extremes. Discarding for the moment the fake blogs, the rest are more sober in their approach. Some still admit to wishes, some admit to real cuckoldry of various degrees and elaborate on it. Somehow cuckoldry fits in with a version of slavery. At least, the authors try to make it so.
There is the idea that involuntary slavery is the ultimate of submission. This is advocated by the writer of the fake blog Owning And Training A Male Slave. In “her” words from the book, “In my view a male is an inferior being who is fit only to grace my presence as a full and abject non consensual slave.” This fits right up the expectations of some men in need of extreme slavery. Practicality and legality aside, it could be fun for a while. It could also be fun from time to time, say, for a weekend. But long term, or forever, forget it. After your first tooth-ache you will want out.
What most fantasy male slaves don’t admit is that there could be fun only for a very short time. An involuntary slave does not get to pick his mistress or master; he gets picked, and has nothing to say about it. When his food, water, medical care, or even his life, are controlled by some obviously dangerous and likely demented person, be it female or male, the preservation of freedom suddenly kicks in. The joy would quickly lose its edge as soon as the slave’s hand is whacked off for ill behavior, or as a fellow slave is killed just for the joy of the owner. Even in less extreme cases I can see a need of a slave for companionship, acceptence, time off, and just some enjoyment of life. Continuously harsh reality would not satisfy long.
So, I don’t really take it seriously when horny men talk about real slavery. What they mean is “pretended real slavery.” Now, that rocks! You can take it as far as you want, and then say the safe word, and you are out. I could live with that on a short-term basis.
I know that I have not given you much in the way of demonstration of my essay. You can read the above-mentioned link and see some of the gullible readers gushing about this writer’s ideas. I still can’t tell whether the blog is from the slave's or the owner’s perspective, given the context. Of course, it makes no difference, because they are the same: it is written by the man who is both slave and owner mistress.
But there is a somewhat interesting discussion going on at From Submissive to Slave. It tends to show that a would-be male slave does not really want to be enslaved against his will by just anyone. First it must be a woman, and a strictly clinical definition is not sufficient: she has to be his type in order to be sufficiently attractive so that he can carry out his slavely duties. Next, she must do certain things that a slave owner should do; at least according to his expectations. The list goes on, and it is kind of like a shopping expedition for a toy at the mall: the purchase must be just right.
Well, sheesh! Whatever happened to real slavery?
Oh, I know, this is slavery with conditions. I get it! She does not really own you, she just pretends. You call the shots, and she follows the rules. Hey, it’s just like in a vanilla marriage, “Honey, can you be in charge tonight? I’m really horny. By the way, I’ll need a clean shirt for my golf date tomorrow.”
I don’t mean to dismiss all male slave-wannabies. As I said, I have my needs and fantasies also. But at least I call a spade a “spade”, and not a “friggin’ implement of moving stuff”. We know who we are, so let’s be honest. We can still play and pretend. But let’s not try to fool the reader.
I read would-be-slave men’s comments on some blogs. They wish to be true slaves. They wish to be used and abused for the rest of their lives. It is a thought of misty softness that allows the man to give himself to a woman that way. She will use him sexually, and maybe lend his services to other women. Some men would also prefer their services provided to other men. It is a no-fault relationship because they are forced. They have no responsibility, just the pain and the joy. Hey, I have been there in my fantasies. I understand.
As far as fantasies go we can be from one extreme to another, and no harm is done. This is why, mostly unattached men, comment along these lines tending to extremes. Discarding for the moment the fake blogs, the rest are more sober in their approach. Some still admit to wishes, some admit to real cuckoldry of various degrees and elaborate on it. Somehow cuckoldry fits in with a version of slavery. At least, the authors try to make it so.
There is the idea that involuntary slavery is the ultimate of submission. This is advocated by the writer of the fake blog Owning And Training A Male Slave. In “her” words from the book, “In my view a male is an inferior being who is fit only to grace my presence as a full and abject non consensual slave.” This fits right up the expectations of some men in need of extreme slavery. Practicality and legality aside, it could be fun for a while. It could also be fun from time to time, say, for a weekend. But long term, or forever, forget it. After your first tooth-ache you will want out.
What most fantasy male slaves don’t admit is that there could be fun only for a very short time. An involuntary slave does not get to pick his mistress or master; he gets picked, and has nothing to say about it. When his food, water, medical care, or even his life, are controlled by some obviously dangerous and likely demented person, be it female or male, the preservation of freedom suddenly kicks in. The joy would quickly lose its edge as soon as the slave’s hand is whacked off for ill behavior, or as a fellow slave is killed just for the joy of the owner. Even in less extreme cases I can see a need of a slave for companionship, acceptence, time off, and just some enjoyment of life. Continuously harsh reality would not satisfy long.
So, I don’t really take it seriously when horny men talk about real slavery. What they mean is “pretended real slavery.” Now, that rocks! You can take it as far as you want, and then say the safe word, and you are out. I could live with that on a short-term basis.
I know that I have not given you much in the way of demonstration of my essay. You can read the above-mentioned link and see some of the gullible readers gushing about this writer’s ideas. I still can’t tell whether the blog is from the slave's or the owner’s perspective, given the context. Of course, it makes no difference, because they are the same: it is written by the man who is both slave and owner mistress.
But there is a somewhat interesting discussion going on at From Submissive to Slave. It tends to show that a would-be male slave does not really want to be enslaved against his will by just anyone. First it must be a woman, and a strictly clinical definition is not sufficient: she has to be his type in order to be sufficiently attractive so that he can carry out his slavely duties. Next, she must do certain things that a slave owner should do; at least according to his expectations. The list goes on, and it is kind of like a shopping expedition for a toy at the mall: the purchase must be just right.
Well, sheesh! Whatever happened to real slavery?
Oh, I know, this is slavery with conditions. I get it! She does not really own you, she just pretends. You call the shots, and she follows the rules. Hey, it’s just like in a vanilla marriage, “Honey, can you be in charge tonight? I’m really horny. By the way, I’ll need a clean shirt for my golf date tomorrow.”
I don’t mean to dismiss all male slave-wannabies. As I said, I have my needs and fantasies also. But at least I call a spade a “spade”, and not a “friggin’ implement of moving stuff”. We know who we are, so let’s be honest. We can still play and pretend. But let’s not try to fool the reader.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Shadow
I stand in the space between my house and the street. Trees and shrubbery take up the openness. I enjoy the warmth of the sun on this winter day. A shadow passes over me, moving across the landscape swiftly. By the time I look up to see what caused it, the perpetrator is gone.
I look around. In the distant heights now I see a bird. It is large. Vultures are not around this time of the year, so I guess it to be a raven or a hawk.
Our ravens are not as magnificent as those around the Grand Canyon or Bryce Canyon in Utah, 
yet they are more stately than their cousins, the crows and grackles. Sure, they sound like crows, but, please, we are talking stature here. 
These ravens are near the bottom of the food chain for black birds. They are scavengers, but not large enough to kill much. The huge variety around the canyons could scare the crap out of me with their bulk and size. These local birds are less frightening. They are closer to crows than the others.
Our resident hawks are becoming rare.
We used to have them nesting in tall trees around us.
We enjoyed the sounds they and their children made as they practiced flying in late spring. The adult birds used to attack their reflection in our windows on the top floor, so we put large 
pictures inside to make the reflection of them less inciting. Now these magnificent birds are mostly visitors. We still have some open space around where they can nest. But it is diminishing. It may have to do with people using poison to kill their prey. We miss them.
I look around. In the distant heights now I see a bird. It is large. Vultures are not around this time of the year, so I guess it to be a raven or a hawk.
Our ravens are not as magnificent as those around the Grand Canyon or Bryce Canyon in Utah, yet they are more stately than their cousins, the crows and grackles. Sure, they sound like crows, but, please, we are talking stature here. 
These ravens are near the bottom of the food chain for black birds. They are scavengers, but not large enough to kill much. The huge variety around the canyons could scare the crap out of me with their bulk and size. These local birds are less frightening. They are closer to crows than the others.Our resident hawks are becoming rare.
We used to have them nesting in tall trees around us. We enjoyed the sounds they and their children made as they practiced flying in late spring. The adult birds used to attack their reflection in our windows on the top floor, so we put large 
pictures inside to make the reflection of them less inciting. Now these magnificent birds are mostly visitors. We still have some open space around where they can nest. But it is diminishing. It may have to do with people using poison to kill their prey. We miss them.Monday, February 23, 2009
Still Another Male Fantasy
I don’t remember how I acquired this link. It may be my suppressed interest in cuckoldry: C And M. The last post is late last year, so it may be defunct. As interesting as this blog may be to some, it is fake. It is possible that what he writes is loosely based on his actual situation. It is fantasy nevertheless. There are a number of things that point to this conclusion. A real blog may have omissions or repetitions because it is put together chronologically, and is not organized otherwise. However, it should be consistent. In general it relays events as they take place. An invented relationship posed as real may suffer from the same, but since it is not based on chronological events, it is easy to slip and make mistakes.
This is one man’s fantasy gone ape. I don’t begrudge his doing this. I, too, fantasize. Just that, I don’t feel the need to suck vulnerable readers into my fantasies. I would rather write a book and present it as fiction. At least there, credit would be, or not be, given where due.
I guess he ran out of steam in October 2008, which is the last post. If he were real, I would be willing to read the rest and see whether I am right in may assessment, or that I am wrong, and enjoy what he relates. Too bad.
This is one man’s fantasy gone ape. I don’t begrudge his doing this. I, too, fantasize. Just that, I don’t feel the need to suck vulnerable readers into my fantasies. I would rather write a book and present it as fiction. At least there, credit would be, or not be, given where due.
I guess he ran out of steam in October 2008, which is the last post. If he were real, I would be willing to read the rest and see whether I am right in may assessment, or that I am wrong, and enjoy what he relates. Too bad.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Holding Pattern
We have been in the mode of an aircraft unable to land: holding pattern. MW flipped out of normal existence back in October. It had to do with her family. Sickness, and such. On her part, guilt and anxiety.
I know, this is not the mark of a woman in charge. But give her a chance to set it straight. A lot of things descended on her then, and remained to this day. We get by. She is on some medication to mitigate the stress. Alas, they also mitigate the thrills. She is down.
Today she slept several hours when she would usually be awake. It is not good, but we try to work through it.
I don’t mean to be selfish when I say that this time should come to an end. At least, the causes should come to an end. She does not deserve this torture.
I try to stay rational and supportive. She needs a strong person. She needs a frame of stable reference, a place where she can feel safe. That is our home, that is me, her life support.
Yet she is still doing all she can to take care of the familial obligations. Real soon now, we will be back to normal. Have I said this before?
I know, this is not the mark of a woman in charge. But give her a chance to set it straight. A lot of things descended on her then, and remained to this day. We get by. She is on some medication to mitigate the stress. Alas, they also mitigate the thrills. She is down.
Today she slept several hours when she would usually be awake. It is not good, but we try to work through it.
I don’t mean to be selfish when I say that this time should come to an end. At least, the causes should come to an end. She does not deserve this torture.
I try to stay rational and supportive. She needs a strong person. She needs a frame of stable reference, a place where she can feel safe. That is our home, that is me, her life support.
Yet she is still doing all she can to take care of the familial obligations. Real soon now, we will be back to normal. Have I said this before?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
It’s Not Easy Being Me
As often happens, I get my inspiration from Mistress Kathy. She brings up the idea of men having to hide their submissive feelings, etc.
I have expressed my admiration for today’s women. It is not easy to be one. Not that I know the details, but I have a few insights. For example, look in her purse. She may have keys, nightstick, pepper spray, lipstick, makeup, mirror, various ache remedies, tampons, notepad, tissues, wallet, coins, breath mints, … the list is endless. She needs all that to get through any day.
She gets up in the morning, takes care of children, selects fashionable clothes, puts on makeup, dresses perfectly, drives the highways to get to work, worry about being hijacked or mugged while walking form her car to the building. Then at work she must look prim and fresh, smart but sexy. She must appear enticing but not whorish. She must be smart but not appear smarter than the boss. She must take time for trips to the restroom to touch up her makeup, always having to wait for an available toilet stall. She will have a green salad without dressing for lunch. At the health club she must don the sexy outerwear yet be able to shed heat of the exercise, not to appear like a slut but be attractive, and so on. Let it be known that I appreciate all of that.
Then, one would say, “It is easy to be a man.” He can roll out of bed, belch or fart, stumble to the bathroom and do his thing. He shaves, puts on his Levi’s and some non-descript shirt, He stuffs his wallet and keys in his pocket, then goes to work. He need not worry about being intimidated in any way while driving. Nobody wants to mess with a man. At work he does whatever he is supposed to. He will go to the restroom and stand to piss. He will have his hamburger and french-fries for lunch while ogling the females, and as long as he is not overt, no problem.
There is a lot more, of course. What I have presented is a stereotype of both gender roles. All of it is true in some cases, but does not really show the whole picture. Much is missing from both gender roles. I could write a book about this, but for the current venue I must limit my temptation. You may thank me now. Let’s take the genders in turn.
Being a Woman
I love feminine women. But, being feminine is not makeup or fashion.
I love powerful women. But, being powerful is not kicking men in the balls physically or figuratively.
I love strong women. But, being strong is not being dressed in leather or plastic, or micro-managing a man’s life. It is not being sluttish, vulgar, crass, or mannish.
It is up to you what kind of woman you want to be. If you have the skill, education, and the incentive, you could become who you want to be. There are many examples in real life. But not every woman has all that. Some will have to limit their goals to realistic levels. Some don’t have the means to do much other than being a wife or a girlfriend. Some don’t have those qualities, and go through life searching for a niche in which they excel. These are facts of life.
So, I urge women to be themselves, and make the best of what they are. Even within already chosen roles they can’t be everything.
There is no need for apologies if a woman chooses to be “only a wife”. There are degrees of wives, and she can be wherever she wants to be with all of its implications. She can lead or follow. She can make or break a marriage. And all that time she can be feminine, powerful, caring, loving, charming or a bitch, to any extent she wants. Just skip the stereotyping, and do your own thing.
Being a Man
In my stereotypical parody above I alluded to the assumption that being a man is as easy as stepping on a cow-pie. For some men it is just that easy. It could be terminal insensitivity or stupidity. He would not be bothered by anything unless he is horny (which is most of the time), hungry, or have a need for a beer. And, oh yes, his manhood must not ever be challenged. Other than that, he is all right.
In general, some of us men have a little more on the brain than sex, food, and beer. For example, we might have a plan for the rest of our lives, responsibility for our actions, caring for family and country, etc. Adding to that our expected stereotypical behavior in today’s society, we have some conflicting directives. Then there are our kinks.
Today, a man is expected to be sensitive. He must not grope females in general, and should cry when watching certain movies. He must be well groomed and fit in with peers. See for example, the metro sexual man. He must be strong to take care of roadside emergencies such as changing a flat tire or taking out the garbage or a would-be mugger. He must be nurturing toward his children yet not raise a hand when one of the little buggers refuses to listen to the word “no!” He must be caring for his wife, but not be a sissy. He is to be chivalrous, and take charge in the bedroom, but only when the wife is known to be receptive. He is expected to have male friends to watch games on TV, but not allow anyone to trash the living room. The list is endless.
Then There Is Kink
If the kink is the woman’s idea, the man is likely to go with it. After all, he is usually horny, except immediately after ejaculation, so this is a piece of cake. A kinky woman is a treasure, and she can’t do wrong. Well, I don’t want to cover all kinks, but in general …
If the kink is the man’s idea, then both of them may have a problem. Say, he wants to “dress up”. Does she allow him to do so? Does she allow him to go outside dressed as a woman? Does she allow her friends and relatives to learn of this?
Or, let’s say that he wants her to lead. Some people have no problem with that. Others will go ape: a man is not supposed to follow a woman. Will he be automatically forced to scrub the toiled, piss sitting down, and give up financial control?
Or, let’s assume that he wants to be dominated, but only in the bedroom. Is he being dominant or submissive, or just friggin’ kinky?
Can’t I Be Just Me?
Both men and women can ask this question. Back in history when men were expected to be men and women were expected to do as told, the rules were more simple. Today they are outrageous.
I often feel the need to justify my being apparently subservient to my wife, and then say or do something that shows I still have balls. Less and less so over the years, but the urge is still there. Likewise, my wife still has a problem demonstrating her power over me when it comes to family and friends. I am just supposed to be the nice guy who will shut up and do what is necessary. Then everybody is happy. So we continue acting like everybody else in our respective female and male roles: me with balls, she with boobs, I stand to piss, she sits, etc.
I don’t really have a complaint here, although you might have guessed otherwise. I can handle my end of it just fine. For one thing, I don’t give a sh*t about what most people deduce based on my behavior. I try to be civil, gentle, caring, and will kick some guy in the teeth when he deserves it. About the subservient-to-my-wife role, I don’t flaunt it. I let people make their own conclusion. Just that, I am still judged by the complex rules. And sometimes it pisses me off.
I have expressed my admiration for today’s women. It is not easy to be one. Not that I know the details, but I have a few insights. For example, look in her purse. She may have keys, nightstick, pepper spray, lipstick, makeup, mirror, various ache remedies, tampons, notepad, tissues, wallet, coins, breath mints, … the list is endless. She needs all that to get through any day.
She gets up in the morning, takes care of children, selects fashionable clothes, puts on makeup, dresses perfectly, drives the highways to get to work, worry about being hijacked or mugged while walking form her car to the building. Then at work she must look prim and fresh, smart but sexy. She must appear enticing but not whorish. She must be smart but not appear smarter than the boss. She must take time for trips to the restroom to touch up her makeup, always having to wait for an available toilet stall. She will have a green salad without dressing for lunch. At the health club she must don the sexy outerwear yet be able to shed heat of the exercise, not to appear like a slut but be attractive, and so on. Let it be known that I appreciate all of that.
Then, one would say, “It is easy to be a man.” He can roll out of bed, belch or fart, stumble to the bathroom and do his thing. He shaves, puts on his Levi’s and some non-descript shirt, He stuffs his wallet and keys in his pocket, then goes to work. He need not worry about being intimidated in any way while driving. Nobody wants to mess with a man. At work he does whatever he is supposed to. He will go to the restroom and stand to piss. He will have his hamburger and french-fries for lunch while ogling the females, and as long as he is not overt, no problem.
There is a lot more, of course. What I have presented is a stereotype of both gender roles. All of it is true in some cases, but does not really show the whole picture. Much is missing from both gender roles. I could write a book about this, but for the current venue I must limit my temptation. You may thank me now. Let’s take the genders in turn.
Being a Woman
I love feminine women. But, being feminine is not makeup or fashion.
I love powerful women. But, being powerful is not kicking men in the balls physically or figuratively.
I love strong women. But, being strong is not being dressed in leather or plastic, or micro-managing a man’s life. It is not being sluttish, vulgar, crass, or mannish.
It is up to you what kind of woman you want to be. If you have the skill, education, and the incentive, you could become who you want to be. There are many examples in real life. But not every woman has all that. Some will have to limit their goals to realistic levels. Some don’t have the means to do much other than being a wife or a girlfriend. Some don’t have those qualities, and go through life searching for a niche in which they excel. These are facts of life.
So, I urge women to be themselves, and make the best of what they are. Even within already chosen roles they can’t be everything.
There is no need for apologies if a woman chooses to be “only a wife”. There are degrees of wives, and she can be wherever she wants to be with all of its implications. She can lead or follow. She can make or break a marriage. And all that time she can be feminine, powerful, caring, loving, charming or a bitch, to any extent she wants. Just skip the stereotyping, and do your own thing.
Being a Man
In my stereotypical parody above I alluded to the assumption that being a man is as easy as stepping on a cow-pie. For some men it is just that easy. It could be terminal insensitivity or stupidity. He would not be bothered by anything unless he is horny (which is most of the time), hungry, or have a need for a beer. And, oh yes, his manhood must not ever be challenged. Other than that, he is all right.
In general, some of us men have a little more on the brain than sex, food, and beer. For example, we might have a plan for the rest of our lives, responsibility for our actions, caring for family and country, etc. Adding to that our expected stereotypical behavior in today’s society, we have some conflicting directives. Then there are our kinks.
Today, a man is expected to be sensitive. He must not grope females in general, and should cry when watching certain movies. He must be well groomed and fit in with peers. See for example, the metro sexual man. He must be strong to take care of roadside emergencies such as changing a flat tire or taking out the garbage or a would-be mugger. He must be nurturing toward his children yet not raise a hand when one of the little buggers refuses to listen to the word “no!” He must be caring for his wife, but not be a sissy. He is to be chivalrous, and take charge in the bedroom, but only when the wife is known to be receptive. He is expected to have male friends to watch games on TV, but not allow anyone to trash the living room. The list is endless.
Then There Is Kink
If the kink is the woman’s idea, the man is likely to go with it. After all, he is usually horny, except immediately after ejaculation, so this is a piece of cake. A kinky woman is a treasure, and she can’t do wrong. Well, I don’t want to cover all kinks, but in general …
If the kink is the man’s idea, then both of them may have a problem. Say, he wants to “dress up”. Does she allow him to do so? Does she allow him to go outside dressed as a woman? Does she allow her friends and relatives to learn of this?
Or, let’s say that he wants her to lead. Some people have no problem with that. Others will go ape: a man is not supposed to follow a woman. Will he be automatically forced to scrub the toiled, piss sitting down, and give up financial control?
Or, let’s assume that he wants to be dominated, but only in the bedroom. Is he being dominant or submissive, or just friggin’ kinky?
Can’t I Be Just Me?
Both men and women can ask this question. Back in history when men were expected to be men and women were expected to do as told, the rules were more simple. Today they are outrageous.
I often feel the need to justify my being apparently subservient to my wife, and then say or do something that shows I still have balls. Less and less so over the years, but the urge is still there. Likewise, my wife still has a problem demonstrating her power over me when it comes to family and friends. I am just supposed to be the nice guy who will shut up and do what is necessary. Then everybody is happy. So we continue acting like everybody else in our respective female and male roles: me with balls, she with boobs, I stand to piss, she sits, etc.
I don’t really have a complaint here, although you might have guessed otherwise. I can handle my end of it just fine. For one thing, I don’t give a sh*t about what most people deduce based on my behavior. I try to be civil, gentle, caring, and will kick some guy in the teeth when he deserves it. About the subservient-to-my-wife role, I don’t flaunt it. I let people make their own conclusion. Just that, I am still judged by the complex rules. And sometimes it pisses me off.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Gov'ment 1
The current “economic stimulus package" proposed by our Democrat president and congress hovers around One Trillion Dollars. That means, “1 with 12 zeros after it.” Most of us don't get to handle a check with more than 2 or 3 zeros after the 1. To be truthful, there are three Republican senators who threw in their lot with the Democrats, so this deauchery is not 100 percent all Democrat.
Imagine that you earn $100,000 per year, and are obligated to use all of that to pay off this 1 Trillion dollar debt based on your annual salary. You would have to work for 10 million years if we don't include interest on the loan.
Of course, you would need a second job, because all your $100,000 annual wages would be spent on repaying that debt, and you would need to buy an occasional beer and jerky. Lucky you, that is not a problem. Since you will not live and work for ten million years, someone else will repay it for you.
But for now, you will still pay. So will your children and grand children. Unless of course, you or they don't earn an honest living. Then you would not have to pay. The gov'ment would take care of you.
Imagine that you earn $100,000 per year, and are obligated to use all of that to pay off this 1 Trillion dollar debt based on your annual salary. You would have to work for 10 million years if we don't include interest on the loan.
Of course, you would need a second job, because all your $100,000 annual wages would be spent on repaying that debt, and you would need to buy an occasional beer and jerky. Lucky you, that is not a problem. Since you will not live and work for ten million years, someone else will repay it for you.
But for now, you will still pay. So will your children and grand children. Unless of course, you or they don't earn an honest living. Then you would not have to pay. The gov'ment would take care of you.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Grinding To A Halt
Those of you who are still with me please have patience. I have not been reporting anything of much interest in the way of FLR lately. One reason is, there has not been a reason. The other reason, well, it does not exist either.
That is not saying that our FLR is over, just that we fell out of practice due to some very compelling circumstances. If you are still interested in my writing, please stay with us. I will occasionally produce more pontification, and may even report on current events. At some point I will return to the fun stuff. For now, we will have to wait for certain situations to resolve into manageable scenarios. Without getting too personal, I will mention some reasons for the lack of positive demonstration of our FLR.
Late last year I related that MW was facing elective surgery. The problem behind that has not gone away. She is still trying to deal with it and all of its implication. But another problem surfaced that tends to eclipse the pending surgery: advanced illness on her side of the family. This drains her strength and creates feelings of guilt. Adding to that her tendency to depression makes her life hard. My support of her problems is a given. I love her. But there is only so much that I can do.
We must wait for events outside of our control to take place, and then maybe we can resolve our participation. Meanwhile her interest is not in sex, not in my service to her, and not in anything that is truly positive. I regret my inability to help her. I do what I can. Don’t give up on us.
That is not saying that our FLR is over, just that we fell out of practice due to some very compelling circumstances. If you are still interested in my writing, please stay with us. I will occasionally produce more pontification, and may even report on current events. At some point I will return to the fun stuff. For now, we will have to wait for certain situations to resolve into manageable scenarios. Without getting too personal, I will mention some reasons for the lack of positive demonstration of our FLR.
Late last year I related that MW was facing elective surgery. The problem behind that has not gone away. She is still trying to deal with it and all of its implication. But another problem surfaced that tends to eclipse the pending surgery: advanced illness on her side of the family. This drains her strength and creates feelings of guilt. Adding to that her tendency to depression makes her life hard. My support of her problems is a given. I love her. But there is only so much that I can do.
We must wait for events outside of our control to take place, and then maybe we can resolve our participation. Meanwhile her interest is not in sex, not in my service to her, and not in anything that is truly positive. I regret my inability to help her. I do what I can. Don’t give up on us.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
FLR: Control Versus Satisfaction
I was enjoying Lady Julia's posting while I arrived at some conclusions that I wish to share. I have been involved with FLR long enough to be able to separate my wishes and needs from MW’s wishes and needs so that I can truly address what she needs and wants. Not that I am that good at giving her what she wants. I am willing mostly, just that it comes back to subtlety that she tries to impart to my dull mind. I don’t work in subtlety. I work in clear and concise directions.
But that is not really the theme of this post. I read people’s comments on blogs, and realize that we are inefficient in communication. I understand what they want or what they are trying to express, but we are not always together on the definitions.
FLR is a complex subject, and there is not a simple way to evaluate it. Without getting into serious analysis I will define two ways of measure: control and satisfaction from two points of view. Note: that is already four different points of view. I did say that FLR is complex.
Control is a way to make sure that one is satisfied. Satisfaction comes from getting what one wants. If satisfaction is not achieved, control is not working. That, in turn, brings up two questions: “Who is in control, and who is satisfied?”
When I say, “Our FLR is total, she makes the rules, I follow,” you all have some mental picture of it. You each have a different one, and none likely to be true. Does she tell me exactly what to do to the smallest detail so that I make no decisions? Am I allowed to have a choice in anything? Am I satisfied with that? Is she happy with being in such intricate control of a supposedly intelligent being?
I know, this is hypothetical; so don’t make much of it. The thing is, we need to sort out who does what to whom, why, and to what extent. If we don’t we are sending the wrong signals in all directions.
The hypothetical case above gives no hint of either control or satisfaction. It is stating a generality. Not only that, but it is stated from one person’s point of view. The same relationship described by the woman would not necessarily be “Our FLR is total, I make the rules, and he follows.” It could be assumed, but would be extremely unlikely. So how do we ever get together on an FLR, and have any kind of satisfaction? I will tell you: occasionally and accidentally.
There are at least two ways to measure FLR based on the above: control and satisfaction. There are nuances that we can impose, but I am happy with just these two for now. Control is the amount that she or he imposes versus what he or she can handle. Satisfaction is more esoteric and dependent on circumstances.
To take an extreme case, she controls 100 percent. That means he has not a single original thought in his mind to execute. He is merely a tool. This brings up questions: Does she really want to use a person whose mind mimics a tool that is equivalent to a shovel? Would not she rather use a tool that can make some decisions, like maybe a computer? Is he really satisfied with being manipulated as if he were a shovel? Does he not really want to make at least some decisions, such as urinating when the urge arises? And really, who is making the rules for all this? If she is controlling him to that extent, is it because she wants to do so, or is it to satisfy his needs?
Do you see that we have the yin and the yang of FLR: control versus satisfaction. Her needs versus his needs all intertwined.
There is a reason for the yin/yang symbol shown within a circle. My interpretation is that when you go far in one direction, you come around to your starting point. The more you control, the less control you have, since you end up having to do everything. The more you give up control, the more control you have, since you don’t have to do anything. You can’t have control without satisfaction, yet you can’t have satisfaction without control.
In a benign FLR you do what you want to do. If it works, it works for you, but only for the moment. Later? Think escalation.
For the rest of us it is something else. We can still share our problems, joys, discoveries, our thoughts. We are curious of how others fare. We like to get ideas and elaborate on them. But each FLR is unique. There is only one rule: “There are no rules.”
But that is not really the theme of this post. I read people’s comments on blogs, and realize that we are inefficient in communication. I understand what they want or what they are trying to express, but we are not always together on the definitions.
FLR is a complex subject, and there is not a simple way to evaluate it. Without getting into serious analysis I will define two ways of measure: control and satisfaction from two points of view. Note: that is already four different points of view. I did say that FLR is complex.
Control is a way to make sure that one is satisfied. Satisfaction comes from getting what one wants. If satisfaction is not achieved, control is not working. That, in turn, brings up two questions: “Who is in control, and who is satisfied?”
When I say, “Our FLR is total, she makes the rules, I follow,” you all have some mental picture of it. You each have a different one, and none likely to be true. Does she tell me exactly what to do to the smallest detail so that I make no decisions? Am I allowed to have a choice in anything? Am I satisfied with that? Is she happy with being in such intricate control of a supposedly intelligent being?
I know, this is hypothetical; so don’t make much of it. The thing is, we need to sort out who does what to whom, why, and to what extent. If we don’t we are sending the wrong signals in all directions.
The hypothetical case above gives no hint of either control or satisfaction. It is stating a generality. Not only that, but it is stated from one person’s point of view. The same relationship described by the woman would not necessarily be “Our FLR is total, I make the rules, and he follows.” It could be assumed, but would be extremely unlikely. So how do we ever get together on an FLR, and have any kind of satisfaction? I will tell you: occasionally and accidentally.
There are at least two ways to measure FLR based on the above: control and satisfaction. There are nuances that we can impose, but I am happy with just these two for now. Control is the amount that she or he imposes versus what he or she can handle. Satisfaction is more esoteric and dependent on circumstances.
To take an extreme case, she controls 100 percent. That means he has not a single original thought in his mind to execute. He is merely a tool. This brings up questions: Does she really want to use a person whose mind mimics a tool that is equivalent to a shovel? Would not she rather use a tool that can make some decisions, like maybe a computer? Is he really satisfied with being manipulated as if he were a shovel? Does he not really want to make at least some decisions, such as urinating when the urge arises? And really, who is making the rules for all this? If she is controlling him to that extent, is it because she wants to do so, or is it to satisfy his needs?
Do you see that we have the yin and the yang of FLR: control versus satisfaction. Her needs versus his needs all intertwined.
There is a reason for the yin/yang symbol shown within a circle. My interpretation is that when you go far in one direction, you come around to your starting point. The more you control, the less control you have, since you end up having to do everything. The more you give up control, the more control you have, since you don’t have to do anything. You can’t have control without satisfaction, yet you can’t have satisfaction without control.
In a benign FLR you do what you want to do. If it works, it works for you, but only for the moment. Later? Think escalation.
For the rest of us it is something else. We can still share our problems, joys, discoveries, our thoughts. We are curious of how others fare. We like to get ideas and elaborate on them. But each FLR is unique. There is only one rule: “There are no rules.”
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Beauty: Shallow Or Deep
A short time ago I acquired a photograph of a woman who appeared to be in her late twenties at the time. She was beautiful even without my admitting that she had features that I consider “my type”. I have kept it with pictures of other women whom I consider beautiful. If I were religious, this gallery of women could be considered a shrine.
Some time later I found her again in a different context. She appeared to have put on weight and age since the earlier photo. For my purposes, a woman doing that is going in the right direction to a certain point. She was still beautiful with the added weight. Her age did not detract from my earlier assessment of her beauty. This is a natural progression as we grow in age and character.
Today, years later, I ran across a video of her, and very much looked forward to seeing her again. It was a mistake.
Have you ever looked at the picture of a woman (or man) you considered beautiful until she (or he) appeared real in person or some media? It can be disappointing. It could be her voice, her manner, or her behavior. In this video I heard her speak for the first time. Her voice would have been all right in a general conversation. It was her manner that was disappointing. Her vocabulary was limited, and included idioms that implied no education. She giggled repeatedly. She used and re-used phrases many times in a space of several minutes, which should not have been used once. With the heavy makeup on her face she portrayed a woman who had been used hard over the last few years.
I don’t begrudge her lifestyle. She is earning a living, and that is good. I made an assumption of her person based on the original photograph, and this video completely obliterated that assumption. It is not her age or her looks that undid my admiration. It is her demeanor. It is not her fault. She is who and what she is, and it is likely that her real persona has not changed much from the time of her original photograph. It is only my assumptions about her that changed.
A totally unrelated context that has relevance on this subject comes to my mind from way back. I worked at a large corporation where my immediate boss was a woman. She was smart, quick thinking, and did not take crap from anyone. Although I have always liked older women, especially those in authority, I had no sexual desire toward her. She was not my type. In some ways she angered me from time to time because she micro-managed my work. I wanted more freedom to do my job. At some point I took a trip to attend a conference that was relevant to my work. During this time I ran into a problem, and called her at work to get her advice.
Because we worked in the same office, I had not talked with her over the telephone prior to this time. My first surprise was the sensual sound of her voice when not face to face. Wow, she could have been a different woman. She further surprised me by the content and manner of what she spoke. This was an educated, intelligent, caring person. I never realized she was all that, although I had worked with her for many months.
My problem was resolved partly through her suggestions. After I returned from my conference, working with her came to a different level. I still had the same problems with her as before, but I also saw the beauty of her in the ways I learned over the phone.
Beauty is indeed only skin deep when that is all we see. It is exactly like looking at a photograph: two-dimensional. But, when a person opens herself, we can see past this limit. We may find that the layer of beauty is indeed as shallow as it was in the photograph. Or we may be thrilled to find beauty beyond that first layer. It is beauty that did or did not exist at our first shallow perception.
Some time later I found her again in a different context. She appeared to have put on weight and age since the earlier photo. For my purposes, a woman doing that is going in the right direction to a certain point. She was still beautiful with the added weight. Her age did not detract from my earlier assessment of her beauty. This is a natural progression as we grow in age and character.
Today, years later, I ran across a video of her, and very much looked forward to seeing her again. It was a mistake.
Have you ever looked at the picture of a woman (or man) you considered beautiful until she (or he) appeared real in person or some media? It can be disappointing. It could be her voice, her manner, or her behavior. In this video I heard her speak for the first time. Her voice would have been all right in a general conversation. It was her manner that was disappointing. Her vocabulary was limited, and included idioms that implied no education. She giggled repeatedly. She used and re-used phrases many times in a space of several minutes, which should not have been used once. With the heavy makeup on her face she portrayed a woman who had been used hard over the last few years.
I don’t begrudge her lifestyle. She is earning a living, and that is good. I made an assumption of her person based on the original photograph, and this video completely obliterated that assumption. It is not her age or her looks that undid my admiration. It is her demeanor. It is not her fault. She is who and what she is, and it is likely that her real persona has not changed much from the time of her original photograph. It is only my assumptions about her that changed.
A totally unrelated context that has relevance on this subject comes to my mind from way back. I worked at a large corporation where my immediate boss was a woman. She was smart, quick thinking, and did not take crap from anyone. Although I have always liked older women, especially those in authority, I had no sexual desire toward her. She was not my type. In some ways she angered me from time to time because she micro-managed my work. I wanted more freedom to do my job. At some point I took a trip to attend a conference that was relevant to my work. During this time I ran into a problem, and called her at work to get her advice.
Because we worked in the same office, I had not talked with her over the telephone prior to this time. My first surprise was the sensual sound of her voice when not face to face. Wow, she could have been a different woman. She further surprised me by the content and manner of what she spoke. This was an educated, intelligent, caring person. I never realized she was all that, although I had worked with her for many months.
My problem was resolved partly through her suggestions. After I returned from my conference, working with her came to a different level. I still had the same problems with her as before, but I also saw the beauty of her in the ways I learned over the phone.
Beauty is indeed only skin deep when that is all we see. It is exactly like looking at a photograph: two-dimensional. But, when a person opens herself, we can see past this limit. We may find that the layer of beauty is indeed as shallow as it was in the photograph. Or we may be thrilled to find beauty beyond that first layer. It is beauty that did or did not exist at our first shallow perception.
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