I used to have a website. It was not a “blog”, but a domain that I built and maintained from scratch for a certain set of interested audience. I used an HTML editor to create a lot of good stuff. I had fun with it. But after some years the rewards appeared to be less, or my expectations were too much. I killed the website at that point. I still feel the pain.
I am not into narrow aspects of FLR or D/S to the extent that they would become the focus of my blog. Consequently, I don’t wish to compete with such blogs. FLR is still my purpose, but keeping an audience while limiting the topic to vanilla FLR is not rewarding enough for me, and not challenging enough to the readers. Just think: a couple of years ago FLR was radical. Today it is ho-hum unless you throw in some kinky sex (or lack of it!).
I have not posted outrageous subjects in order to gain attention. The visits are apparently based on word content. Neither have I included commercial material. All pictures posted have been my own, with one or two exceptions, which I duly noted. At the time of this writing the visits to my blog are over 117,000 since the beginning of 2008. I am sure that some readers were bored, while others were pissed. Based on the count of repeated readers, at least some were satisfied, or hoped for more material.
There are two issues unresolved with the imminent demise of this blog. The first issue is that the blog was spawned by Mistress Wife. While postings have been written by me, they were subject to her approval. My complete dissociation with the blog is still subject to her approval. However, my adding or not to the blog is my prerogative. The other issue is the likelihood that I become identified based on my posts. After enough time this would be inevitable. I am not ashamed of what I am or of what I do. There are some small-minded people out there who could and would use it against me. At some point I begin not to care about that. But as long as I have to earn a living, it matters.
The FLR part of my life will remain, at least in our private space. I want to emphasize that MW and I are still as committed to FLR as before. We have been working through problems unrelated to our relationship, and it is consuming most of her energy. I am patient, and feel no need to change. I have enjoyed reporting our experiences. But there is a difficulty keeping strictly FLR from other issues. And the other issues are, for the moment, more compelling.
I need to make some decisions: should I take a sabbatical? Should I stop blogging? Should I change to a broader format? Should I delete the blog? Should I delete my ID?
There is no compelling reason to do anything at this moment, but just so you know the decision is pending. I may check in from time to time or may post if something fascinating occurs. I may become recharged or reoriented. It would be nice, but things change, so I don’t know whether I will have the same feelings as I did at the beginning. I still have a lot of provocative and non-political material to be posted, but at this point that, too, is uncertain.
I treasure the fine people who had commented in a civil and benign manner whether agreeing with me or not. Some of you have not commented, and that is all right. As for the others, I don’t give a rat’s ass.
If I toss my ID, we may meet again in cyberspace after my reincarnation.
Yes, I have had a couple of beers while writing this. But as I said, “I do my best writing while under the influence.” Writing keeps me off the streets (except when I am working).
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6 comments:
I can fully understand what you are saying. I came to the same conclusions a while ago, but could not get myself to write about it. I just stopped blogging. I obviously did not delete my ID. Maybe I will fill that void and post a last message on my current state.
Interestingly, the number of readers has only dropped by 30% since I stopped blogging...
I was one of your regular visitors. Your entries were always deep and full of wisdom. I will miss them.
Maybe in another life, we can share the wisdom over one of those beers :-)
Until then all the best to you and your wife.
Urmel
Please say it aint so! I woke this morning to read about Emma and scott and now you. I will miss reading your posts. Hopefully with a little time, your batteries will recharge and you will re-think all of this.
Frankly, I have enjoyed your blog, as well as the three or four others I read.
That being said, I don't understand what you have been trying to "get at". One minute, you're saying how submissive you are, then the next, you toss in all manner of expletives that I suppose is to indicate how "macho" you are. Don't get this.
You present us with political musings, which I don't quite understand why. Too much beer, and no "action" at your estate?
You are probably right...you've run out of things to say with regard to FLR...not that I have any more to add.
Best of luck.
I think blogging has a natural life span. When I began I knew I only had 6 months of topics to present. With luck that has now spread to 18 months but at some time it is sure to falter and then stop. It is rather like being the subscriber to a magazine, eventually the content becomes repetitive and it is time to let it go even though the quality might still be top notch.
I hope we will continue to communicate. I really value your comments.
I thank all of you for your comments.
Patty, please don’t think that I take offense. Based on your comment I need to clarify some issues for you and anyone else who may have been puzzled by my outbursts.
I never claimed to be submissive. Being the man in a Female Led Relationship does not require him to be a mindless slave who submits to everyone. Although I love to serve deserving women, I submit that way only to my wife. I am polite but assertive, and I take charge when necessary in any situation. I try to be courteous with everyone unless the situation requires immediate no-nonsense approach. I have worked with several females and males whom I admired and who had the same general traits. They were not submissive either, at least not among our peers and with the public.
I may have slipped with a few expletives due to being agitated over the response to an article I wrote years ago in a local paper. Interestingly, the person who commented on it raged about “leveling the playing field.” This is a sensitive issue with me.
Men who continually “need to show how manly they are” are insecure in their character (many crimes are committed because of that). I hope that I did not present myself as such all along.
The “beer” came up in the angry response by one of the readers, and I just went along with it. It has no relevance to my posts or subsequent comments.
It occurred to me that I could continue writing about the eternal struggle between my wanting to serve my wife and her not wanting to be served. I could spice it up with explicit details of enforced chastity, tease and denial, D/S, occasional terrific sex in which she is the leader and the beneficiary. I could write about orgasm control, my struggle with doing all the hard work and getting no recognition. Do you see the pattern? All that has been written, and in a while begins to sound like a soap opera. Regardless of how much detail I provide, it sounds two-dimensional. This is why I included more real things and relevant thoughts all along.
Wanting to write about The Gov’ment and other issues is pulling my attention away from writing about FLR. I have not really run out of things to say about FLR. Just that, as I explained, my interest in blogging on the subject is waning for the nonce.
I have found in my own blogging that the key to holding my interest is to in no way limit the blog.
Certainly my blog is about femdom and fetish, but I don't artificially limit it to those topics.
I write about whatever I'm thinking about at the time. This keeps the blog fresh for me, and I hope fresh for my readers.
M
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