Jesus To A child

Don't tell me that I am not a romantic!

Music is in the mind of the beholder. To some, rap is crap (I happen to agree). To some, music like this is ho-hum. To me, this is penetratingly beautiful. The video is not impressive. However, the singing, the music, and the lyrics are devastating. Sadness and hopeless love permeate the utter joy of the rendering in vocal and musical accompaniment. You may want to read the lyrics (below) as you watch and listen. This is not a trivial piece of production. This has meaning produced by one who has gone through the agony of losing love. It is sad, hopeless, yet endearing to the point of your wanting to hug the person. Enjoy!

Jesus To A Child -- George Michael 

The lyrics are below:

          Kindness in your eyes

I guess you heard me cry
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child

I'm blessed, I know
Heaven sent and heaven stole
You smiled at me Like Jesus to a child

And what have I learned
From all this pain?
I thought I'd never feel the same
About anyone
Or anything again

But now I know
When you find love
When you know that it exists
Then the lover that you miss
Will come to you
On those cold, cold nights

When you've been loved
When you know it holds such bliss
Then the lover that you kissed
Will comfort you
When there's no hope in sight

          Sadness in your eyes

No one guessed, or no one tried
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child

Loveless and cold
With your last breath you saved my soul
You smiled at me
Like Jesus to a child
And what have I learned
From all these
I've waited for you all those years
And just when it began
He took your love away
But I still say
When you find love
When you know that it exists
Then the lover that you miss
Will come to you
On those cold, cold nights
When you've been loved
When you know it holds such bliss
Then the lover that you kissed
Will comfort you
When there's no hope in sight

So the words you could not say
I'll sing them for you
And the love we would have made
I'll make it for two
For every single memory
Has become a part of me
You will always be
My love

Well, I've been loved
So I know just what love is
And the lover that I kissed
Is always by my side

Oh the lover I still miss
Was Jesus to a child

Yeah, Yeah, More Friggin' Heroes

I know that I have been harping about the police, how much they are unappreciated, etc. so I introduced another subject on one of my favorite people, the so-called firefighters. I call them firemen or firewomen.

I did not want to be too tedious in my prior post, so I limited it to the essence. But there is more.

You could be driving along and get the stuff scared out of you as you suddenly hear the siren and various warbles of the emergency vehicle over your stereo blasting crap (sorry, I meant rap). The monstrous vehicle whizzes by you, blowing you off the road in its wake: all red and yellow, with lights flashing around. You gather your resources and get back into traffic.

The men and women in that monstrous mechanical device are getting their thrills. That is why they are in that line of work. They want more from life than 8-5 flipping burgers or scanning code at some cash register. Aside from the fact that it pays well, usually has good retirement benefits, and they can go home after the event is over, it is a glamorous job that requires balls, male or female. I am not talking “entertainment glamour” here, for which I have little use. These are real people with commitment, strength of body and character, hard continual training, and abstaining from some things that most of us partake on a whim. They put in their time in education, training, and on the job with the real thing, and continuous re-training. They also put up with politically correct crap, and often politically correct discrimination based on arbitrary rules of the current fad by asinine politicians. They persevere, for the rewards are worth it. They are firefighters in the current politically correct terminology.

They are the warriors of fire who whiz by you on the way to … well, I don’t want to get into that. Much of the time it is a low-key or a false alarm, and they end up with someone else cleaning up the mess while they stand around looking glamorous, then drive back to the station to re-stack their equipment for the next call. That does not mean, however, that all is a piece of cake. They get into some danger, and some lose their life as a result. Compare that to what you do or are required to do daliy, and quit bitching about hardship and annoyances.

I have worked with them side by side for years. Some I know intimately, some are friends, and some are schmucks, just like real people. On the average they carry more than their weight, and are more trustworthy than the regular citizens. I would not want to be without them. I appreciate them. Of course, there are exceptions.

So, when you feel relatively safe in your home, or in your vehicle out there, remember that these firefighters are there to rescue your ass when you end up in a mess. Make sure that you vote for improving their benefit package. Most of you could not or would not want to do what these people do daily. You need them more than you need the shallow images of humanity thrust into your face by the entertainment business. These are real people. Some of them are your neighbors. Some of them are your family. Some of them are you.

Sex Idols

I keep running across women, including MW, who idolize firemen. You know, the tall, muscular, in-good-shape-benign-creatures, who will give them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (they wish!) when rescuing them from the abuse of their no-good boyfriend’s excesses. In a small way I feel jealous. These firemen don’t have to do anything to be the target of women’s fantasies, they just are. Sheesh. Where have I failed?

Responding to emergencies as a police officer we get the detail and we hightail it to the scene. I have never arrived at a true emergency situation before these firemen had their comfortable home-away-from-home humongous rice-rockets already parked at an angle across the road with the friggin’ strobing lights all over the place. I don’t know what it is. We get the 911 results from the dispatcher just the same. Maybe after the mandatory delay … as it were.

In spite of all that I don’t resent firemen. They are always civil, helpful, and stand there like they own the place while we, lawmen, say, “Hm.. Yes, that’s right, we’ll get to it,” and do what the hell ever we are supposed to do, like directing traffic away from the scene.

In all my years I have not heard of any nutcase shooting a fireman. But there have been many shootings, stabbings, clubbings, and vehicle slaughter of policemen. Why? Are the citizens feeling guilty for which they have to hate the police but love the firemen knowing that the firemen don’t arrest them?

I really don’t hold a grudge. Maybe some decades ago I could have chosen to be a fireman, and learn to love the job. Then, I might have realized that I really wanted to be police, and not miss most of the fun. As they say, “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

One side has danger, but in most cases, glamour. The other side has glamour, but in most cases danger. What do you choose: glamorous life, or glamorous death?

I still have my police skills, but I doubt that I could get a job as a fireman at this point in my life. One must stay in shape. I am in relatively good shape, but I couldn’t compete with those tall muscular young men applying for the same position.

Then there are those firewomen, to coin a term. Yes, I know, the politically correct term is firefighter, leaving gender identity out of the picture. That is, unless you are on the scene. Damn, I don’t want to leave gender out of the picture. I have met some wonderful firewomen on the scene, and I would love to see more of them. But, that’s just me, the horny male who loves women. That is why MW keeps me controlled. I must not give away the store, so to speak. It is her store, and I know it. Still, I love to see those firewomen.

Oral Justice

Oral justice is a tribute to the female.

Whether male or female doing it, a female getting justice via oral service by a submissive is what I call the ultimate thrill of the giver. This has nothing to do with my rantings about a female needing a brain to be in charge. This is primal, way below what we assess as intelligence. She is female, therefore, she needs and deserves oral justice! Her self, demeanor, education, and intelligence are superimposed on this, and spread over all of femininity. But it does not change a thing.

Females have all this in common. Imagine yourself tossed into a room and looking at a woman. You get no questions answered, no option of what to do, just appreciating the target of all humanity, the female of creation. With your hands tied behind you, you are at her mercy of pleasure and pain. You are dismissed or used. You are worthless or worthy to her. You give or you get. You take what she decides to give you or take from you. Even without your hands tied you will go with it, because she is woman.

I expect that some of my readers will disagree. I would like to argue with you. Those of you who agree, please comment. Your words would amplify my and the readers’ feelings on this. I have a terrific imagination. I have written much, including books. Doing justice orally to a female is the basis of all that. I was borne of female, and will die serving one. Meanwhile, oral service to her is the greatest thrill I crave.

Yeah! Put Her In Charge! That'll Work

Sheesh, I may be harping on this subject too long, but it is so tempting to exploit that I will do it anyway. I am addressing those of you out there who think that females should be in charge at all cost, no qualifications needed other than being born with a vagina. In other words, no brain is necessary. This is similar to the reasoning that some people use to decide that a man should be in charge on account of his hairiness, somewhat muscular features, and oh yes, the thingies dangling between his thighs. I could puke thinking about these, but I will spare you the disgusting details.

If you need convincing evidence that females are not the superior gender, take a gander at pornography. Regardless of your preferences, you will find those who will disgust you. Of course, you need to remain somewhat realistic in agreeing that females in pornography are generally stupid.  If this were not so, they would not try to make a living selling their pathetic looking forms to sleasy producers. If they had the assumed intelligence, they would be bosses in some private business where they can kick male and female ass. The whip-wielding skinny rent-a-cunt females for two-bit videos need not apply when it comes to assessing intelligence. If they had any, … like I said, they would really be in charge.

This is not saying that females should not be in charge. What I am insisting is that the job depends on the individual. If she or he can provide what it takes, by all means take charge. As for the rest of us, well, you know… We will follow orders even if it means pretending to be in charge with whips, chains, rubber, and such.

She Gave Me A Rose

She is a nurturing female. She cares for humans, animals, plants, even for gadgets. She is the counterpart of me. I would be empty without her.

I listen to Roger Whittaker’s “Honey” and I cry for the emotion that it evokes in me as I think of her. She is most of my life. Without her I would be empty or dead.

She gave me a rose today, one of those that she raised from a stick. Her gesture is devastatingly loving. I could die for her.

The Denial Tool

There is a lot of discussion on the blogs about the value of denying a man his orgasm and how much more ardent he becomes in turn, blah, blah, … A reasonable discussion of it I have read at Hormonal Urges.

Much of this is based on fantasy, folklore, and myth. I find it funny to read someone saying how a man is more willing to serve a woman if he is horny, as opposed to being satiated after an orgasm.

Right. So, who is writing this? Is it a man in his dull fantasy, one who has no access to a female whom he can serve, or is it a woman who has everything figured out with respect to how men are, based on one slovenly boyfriend?

I want to set some things straight for the rest of this post. I am a man. I am heterosexual, I love women, and I love to serve women.

As for universal rules, yes, there are some, such as “once you are dead you are dead”, but I cannot, and will not make any here. I will make comments based on my experience and my education, but will avoid trying to give you a rule to live by, such as, “keep him chaste, and he will serve you to the hilt …” Yeah, right.

I admit that I have fantasies that I would love to fulfill just before, or at the time of orgasms, and then no way would I want to encounter them on purpose. Don’t we all?

What does not change, however, is my basic relationship with MW. Regardless of dire circumstances, we are mated for life. We serve each other like we serve no one else. This is based on knowledge, respect, love, and devotion. Sex enters the picture in a grand manner, but it is not the deciding factor.

Many relationships, including marriage, fail because sex is the deciding factor. So, when you talk of chastity, denial, female led relationship, dominance/submission, are you including the basic supporting means of a relationship, or are you just talking sex? If you are just talking sex, then this myth of men being useless unless they are kept horny fits with your understanding.

I am not implying that you cannot have great sex without commitment. You can, which is why condoms were invented. I think that is where the tease and denial idea is best used effectively dealing with a shallow man, or used by a shallow woman. It has been demonstrated by anecdotal experience all over the blogosphere. It is fun under the circumstances. But, don’t try to make it a universal rule.

There are some of us who have commitments deeper than an orgasm.

Oh-Oh! I Am Pissed! Don't Growl!

I am a linguist, and a protector of the language. I become annoyed at slang and bad grammar insinuating itself into proper vocabulary and usage, yet I admit that the trend is simply evolution. Still, I have my limits.

There was a time before speech developed in the human culture. Growls, grunts, and arm waving had to suffice for civil communication. A growl may have meant various things, each not pleasant, so the other person had to beware immediate danger, whereas a grunt may have been a sign of satisfaction. Arm waving may have been used as modifiers, somewhat physically analogous to adjectives. Then, speech was invented to avoid ambiguity, and to allow explicit expression of thought whether prosaic or poetic (I am being farcical on purpose).

So why subvert this wonderful instrument of conveying even the most subtle thought?

Here are some example scenarios of overt subversion:

“Oh-oh!” [Utterance by the controlling person with an expected subsequent query from the controlled person]

“What’s the problem?” [Requisite query from the controlled person as an expected response with sign of worry]

“I think I may have broken a nail.” [Information that could have been conveyed in the first place without wasting time on the first interchange or annoying the other person]

“Oh. I was worried for a second. Silly me. Next time please just say what the hell bothers you!” [Show of obvious annoyance at the interchange]

One of the most useless mannerisms of modern English speaking people is the spontaneous use of “Oh-oh”. It is uttered (growled) when one encounters an undesirable or imminently undesirable event or situation. Here are some examples.

He and she have just finished sex in their bedroom at home. He rolls over to his back and growls, “Oh-oh.” She thinks he is having some medical emergency, soiled the bed sheet, or maybe it is something bad that she had done. He uttered the growl because he smelled something unpleasant that turns out to be a gift left by their puppy-in-training.

She and he are on the road in a car heading for an appointment. She drives through an intersection when she growls, “Oh-oh”. He thinks that she is having a medical problem or car trouble, and is immediately in high adrenaline mode. It turns out that she ran a stop sign, and the police are pulling her over.

He and she are having a pleasant conversation over dinner at a nice restaurant when he growls, “Oh-oh.” Thoughts run through her mind imagining all kinds of bad things taking place. He growled because he spotted an old girlfriend being seated at an adjacent table.

She and he are walking back to their car after dinner. The parking lot is dark and creepy. She growls, “Oh-oh.” He does not know whether to wet his pants or get his gun out of his concealed holster. The reason she growled is that she just remembered leaving her expensive lipstick in the ladies’ room as she was touching up her lips before leaving.

What would you say is common in these examples aside from their insipidity?

What is common is the obfuscation of the intent to convey the very information that is still to be conveyed. The reason for the “Oh-oh” utterance in each case is prompted by the situation. The execution of the utterance in each case is unnecessary, unproductive, time wasting, annoying, irritating etc. So why do it?

Why indeed? It conveys no information other than some source of worry from the one who does the growl, which in turn causes more worry in the other person’s mind. The information that should have been conveyed in the first place still needs to be done. Now the other person either waits for it, or asks about it. If he has to act on the situation, it is now some seconds later which could be significant in the success or failure of his response. I remember the scene from Mad Max when the creepy little girls says, "Oh-oh, we're dead meat!" Obiously that required a question and then a subsequent answer. Useless.

This is one of those social habits that would be best deleted, for it has no purpose unless one wants to irritate the person who would hear the utterance.

If I succumb to being verbally baited, the other person is controlling me, as in the contrived introductory scenario. As I age I have learned to avoid being baited under any circumstance. The result is that I ignore any utterance of "Oh-oh". A sensible way to see that introductory scenario is as follows:

“I think I may have broken a nail.” [Information conveyed by a non-controlling person, not necessarily requiring a response]

“Sorry dear, I would love to repair if for you.” [Offer supplied in response by a caring person]

I know that the scenarios I have presented are contrived, but they are based on reality. You could substitute your own experience to demonstrate the uselessness of this growl especially when used in dire situations where every second is significant.

Let Us Be Real

I love colors. My memories go back to Christmas candies wrapped in brilliant foils of blue, yellow, green, purple, etc. Of course, my appreciation of colors does not stop there. I am a connoisseur of female underwear.

Whoa! Is there a connection? Well, in a way there is. If you go to a store with national chain establishment you get your basic white or beige female underwear as the available staple.

Oh, before I go further, I will clarify. When I say, “I am a connoisseur of female underwear” I mean on a female person, not me. I would look like crap wearing it, and have no desire to do so. However, I love to see it on women. A matching set of bra and panties on a woman turns up my appreciation to near meltdown. Go figure!

It is no wonder that I want to acquire a set for MW even though there is no pseudo holiday coming up, say, Valentine’s day, mothers’ day, birthday, and so on. I just thought that it would be nice to give her a few new sets that would beg to be hand washed by me because they are so beautiful. Basically it was the colors that turned me on. But then, black (lack of color in scientific terms), and white (all colors in scientific terms) have their appeal when worn by the appreciated female, so I am not picky. It’s just that I love brilliant colors.

It’s no use going to stores that I know. Besides the basics I mentioned above, these stores have nothing. The brilliant hues must be sold by some establishment, and I needed to research, “Enter Internet.”

The first hurdle was running into what I call “stick figure advertisement”. They show unreal women in skimpy stuff that would require 1/10 of a cubic inch (size of a pea) to contain if packing your luggage. I am not giving away my preferences here, but seeing female models who may have been starved to near death before allowed to appear in front of the camera is not my idea of reality. I have not done research on the average weight of females who are willing to pay for underwear, but I am willing to bet my yearly allocation of wine that it is not 78 pounds. I am sure that it is closer to 120, and there is a large camp of 145 and on.

The problem with this is that if I have a favorite female in mind for the gift, and she is larger than the 78-pound emaciated pathetic waif, I have a hard time visualizing the result of my gift. I would like to stomp the idiots who decide that this sort of advertisement is proper.

Maybe I gave up too soon. Aside from the out of proportion models I failed to find the brilliant colors that I set out to acquire. I still visualize MW in these colors with her wonderful endowments enhanced by them. Not that she does not look great dressed only in her freckles, just that, sometimes a bit of decoration does wonders. I need some help here with the colors and size. Where, oh where, do I go?

Update On The Events Of Last Week

There are a number of items about which I wish to talk to bring you up to date on developments.


Jason’s Deliverance

This is a femdom book. If you like female led relationships, strong women, Dominant female/Submissive male interaction, I think that you will like this book. If you would like to serve a woman with a strong hand, you need to read this. If you like a story with hardship, romance, and triumph, you definitely will enjoy this.

I have very much enjoyed writing this book. It is published under the pseudonym, “Jason Worth”, who is also the main character. I have included real characters who have relationships other than the usual “hump, hump, hump,” “suck, suck, suck”, and “whack, whack, whack” scenario depictions. The story is real (well, you decide!) and romantic, but with a purposeful D/S kick in favor of the female on the long run. It involves people whom you could know and care about or would be happy to destroy. It presents the transformation of a shallow young man into a person of value while titillating you with the details of his adventures. There is some incidental violence, but that is done to make the story compelling and true. There is servitude, honor, purpose, loyalty, submission, and love in addition to the obvious background.

To find this book you can go to http://www.pinkflamingo.com/and browse for the title, or go directly to an excerpt that gives you a flavor of the book: Excerpt from "Jason's Deliverance" at Pink Flamingo from which you can access the book. If you like it, I would welcome your giving your approval of it on your own blog or at least by your comments on mine. More such books may be in the queue.

Surgery1: I need some attention from some specialists that I had to postpone because MW and I had taken a scheduled trip. Next week, however, I will attend to it, although I despise oral surgery. In this case it may be necessary.

Surgery2: MW’s surgery is still pending some issues, but we are zeroing in on it. The trip put all that on hold also, so she will have a busy week next week just as I.

Trip: MW and I did one of our infrequent short vacations in a charming town that we had liked before. This trip was also great, but after a week we are happy to be back at home. She was planning to do another piercing on me, this time a dydoe variety. I could tell that she really wanted it, but I also felt that she was not ready for it probably because of the distractions. I set her mind at ease saying, “Let’s do this when we don’t have anything else to worry about.

Books Versus Movies: I may have pontificated about this before, but I need to set the stage for what I have revealed above.

I like to read as opposed to seeing movies or videos. I define movies as visual depiction of stories with mostly believable people and plot. They can be drama, comedy, biography, even cartoons and fairy tales. Movies usually involve writers, producers, directors, actors, different kinds of professionals, and usually someone with money to make all that possible.

What I am not including is what is generally termed videos, which may be a misnomer, or at least, doing injustice to a true video that is somewhat like a movie, only less. Then there are videos with no plot, gratuitous sex or violence whether faked or real, and of low quality production.

Now that I have defined my visual input to story telling, I want to say this: “As much as I like movies, they cannot convey the depth of a story the way books do.”

“Shocking!” you say. Maybe so, but movies rely on what can be conveyed visually, and often skip over what actually makes a story. That is exactly why movies based on books detach themselves from the true story line and end up with shallow special effects at the expense of what the writer of the book so eloquently conveyed. In my vast experience with books and movies, my rule is, “Never see a movie based on a book that you have read and liked!” For example, I read the book, Battlefield Earth by L. Ron. Hubbard. It was a bit two-dimensional, but I was still fascinated with it. I formed a real mental relationship with the characters and the people they represented. Then there was the subsequent movie based on the book. Result: no resemblance.

Getting back to my original line of thought, I again say, “I prefer books.” I can immerse myself in their depth, and visualize all that I think the writer is saying. My imagination fills in the gaps, I experience it to be real enough to feel what the characters feel, and experience what they do. Some of this can be done in a movie, just don’t try to depict what was written in the book. Many people will be angry about the shallow attempt no matter how much money was spent on it.

This reasoning supports my preference for books even more. Writing a book is by itself a great adventure by the author. He feels as if he is creating life. The characters are his children. He is responsible for giving them attributes that enable them to function. It is godlike! A book will take effort for research and investment in time, but nowhere near the amount expended for a movie. Yet, for the reader, it can be more effective entertainment. You be the judge.

Your Standard Of Beauty

We all have expectation of beauty when it comes to the human. Beauty is subjective. It depends on ethnic and cultural influences on the person making this judgement. Early subjection to certain humans make a tremendous impact on our later preferences. I would love to research it and write a book. Alas, my time is limited to things that need my attention now, so the book will have to wait. For now I am doing a quick survey to at least show a preference. It does not include facial features, skin color, or race. It is mostly a perception of the body.

I have added another poll to my blog. In this I am interested in finding out your preferences for beauty. I had to split the poll in order to end up with reasonable sorting of the responses. For example, if the poll was dumped into one, and I ask, “Your gender: (1) Female, (2) Male, (3) Bisexual, … and then the actual poll questions,” there is no stopping you from clicking more than one answer, which would make the calculation of respondent percentages invalid. In the first part I try to get an idea of who is voting. The actual choice to make is as follows:

• Female Heterosexual
• Female Homosexual
• Male Heterosexual
• Male Homesexual
• Bisexual mostly – I will swing either way, as opposed to “I could be forced to do it” (hell, most of us would be glad to be forced).

In the actual part of the preferences survey I tried to limit the number of alternatives, yet express a range that you could choose as the best that represents your feelings. For example, you might have a range between “Soft and trim” and “Abundantly curvaceous”. Choose one. This is anonymous, and you are not committing to a relationship here except in your fantasy, so don’t be shy. I know it is difficult. If a range of females were to offer themselves covering all this, with my wife’s permission, of course, I would have great difficulty to choose. But, If I limit it to, say, a weekend bout, then the choice would be easier.

Here is the actual survey: 

• Very thin - as in “supermodel” thin with bones nearly visible through the skin.
• Thin and trim - naturally thin, but not emaciated
• Trim and muscular - thin rather than heavy, but obviously muscular (not the heavy-weight-lifting necessarily)
• Soft and trim - trim, but with some obvious softness
• Soft and curvaceous - curves rather than trim, but not heavy
• Abundantly curvaceous - somewhat overweight, any shape
• Large and proportional - abundant without out of proportion parts
• Large and emphasized - abundant with some emphasized parts, such as breasts, hips, derriere
• Emphasized parts - anything with emphasized parts

The above is presented from a mostly heterosexual male’s point of view, so I skipped the preferences for the male attraction. If any of you have a constructive comment for me to poll preferences for the male in a similar fashion, please give me your list, and we could go from there. Your list should be limited to categories that range from here to there, so that I can make any alternative exclusive. For example, “Tall, dark and handsome” versus “Tall blonde and masculine” are not good alternatives, for they overlap. Please let your creativity and fantasy go to work, and we will have fun with it.

By the way, you may vote more than once. For example, if you are so versatile that you just cannot dismiss preferences for, say, “Abundantly curvaceous” and “Emphasized parts”, then by all means vote twice. Your votes will not dilute the preferences, but weigh the trend toward type.

Evolution

This has little to do with the eternal controversy of evolution versus creation. My current emphasis is on this definition by Merriam Webster: “ Evolution is the process of developing”.

I have done a lot of pontification since I started this blog. Some of it may have made sense. I have learned a few things since then. I can sum them up in this statement: “Nothing remains the same, whereas, everything changes.” You may have to think about that a bit.

When you think that you have an FLR figured out and it is working just fine, stuff happens, and the “just fine FLR” is derailed, or at best, shuttled off to some seldom or never used spur. Before you know it, all things having to do with FLR don’t seem that important any more. You have real things to do that don’t care who is in charge.

There is the other aspect of FLR, the basis of the whole scheme: sex play. Interestingly, you can have one without the other, and never get involved in the movement for female leadership. It can just happen. However, in most FLRs you end up in the doldrums without the sex play dominated by the female. Then it is over. You don’t have it any more, and when you read from other people who are still struggling to steer it into the wind, you lose patience. You see what you used to do. You see what they are doing wrong. You see the doldrums ahead for them too.

Some escape the inevitable. Those are the ones where the woman is naturally dominant, and the man is at least somewhat submissive. As for the rest, well, I am sure you have seen many FLR blogs come and go. They speak for themselves.

This is what I meant by evolution. We don’t maintain status quo for long. That is reserved for well-maintained machines. Humans evolve even within the lifetime of a short relationship. That is why many end up in separation. Those who prevail will change anyway. What was terribly urgent and important last year may be passé this year. Love will overcome some of the difficulties, but things will be different. You cannot go back to the way it was in your initial enthusiasm. You cannot make up for hurts, things missed, and the inevitable changes that life imposes on responsible people. Things will be different henceforth. If you are lucky you will still have the loving relationship with which you began.

Some of you will not survive.

The Weakness Of The Male

In legends and in history men succumbed to the charms of women, and did things in private that they would not do before their peers. There was Delilah of biblical times, Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, and more of recent times including in your lives I am sure who demonstrated man’s weakness for females.

A woman does magical things to a man, and the man in turn loses control of his logic while trying to satisfy his current addiction to the female charm. A coarsely framed thought by virulent feminists says, “A man is driven by his penis,” or such drivel. Yes, one can just as simplistically say, “A woman is driven by her hormones without logic.” Either claim is thoughtless and trivial. Generalizing like that makes enemies in both camps.

I like to think of this eternal attraction between male and female as the prime directive of perpetuating the human. It is demonstrated in lower lives, some mistakenly deemed human, but generally in mammals and even in other species. There is nothing wrong with sexual attraction. It is what you do with it that may be good or bad. We all know the bad things, and I won’t say anything about them here.

The good things about sexual attraction between male and female is that on the long run it makes sure that humans procreate. The obviouos motivational and beneficial side effect is the enjoyment of the process. Homosexuality is ok as a sexual preference, regardless of the controversy about it being inherited or assumed. The only problem would be if humans were on the fringe of being unable to produce new offsprings, and that is definitely not the case. The human population is increasing at an alarming rate, as evidenced by wars, famine, and pollution.

Getting back to the main topic, which is the male’s reaction to the female’s attraction, I will say, “Bring it on.” I don’t have to do anything about it. I enjoy seeing a female under benign circumstances. I don’t mind admitting that females can do things to me that I suffer, even welcome. These are things I allow that some would consider showing weakness. Yes, I am weak when it comes to females. Not totally weak, for I still have a brain where logic dictates above all, aside from immediate reaction to assure survival. But reaction to female charm is my second most powerful emotion.

Consider the facts. Females are generally smaller and physically weaker than males. If males did not have this all-powerful drive, females would have been killed in early competition for food and shelter. They would have had no defense against the brutish males. So females came up with a powerful weapon: ensnare the brutish males in all that speaks of female. Scents of female can be devastating. A male would follow them to the end. The visual display of fat on a female defines her form. Sure, muscles are vital, but on the long run fat is what decides curves and such. Above all, the female's approach to life is nurturing, loving, tenderness, with few exceptions.

The males did not have a chance. Good thing that the females were not evil, or they could have killed off all males from day one. I guess it is a matter of evolution for survival. We need each other. We like each other. We love each other. We would not want to live without each other.

In a way this brings up the question of which came first, the attractive female or the attracted male. Either they were created simultaneously, or they evolved based on need. The early man had the means to bring home the meat. The early woman showed him where to put it. Those who did not follow the obvious lead, did not produce offsprings.

Distillation of the Essence of Female Led Relationship

When I started this blog I was eagerly grabbing anything to do with Female Led Relationship (FLR). I also got my thrills reading about D/S, CBT, orgasm denial, etc. But then, this was the year 2007, and blogspace has bloated since. It seems that anyone with access to the Internet via a computer or some lesser devices will post anything.

We are mired in crud!

I still enjoy selected blogs whose authors appear intelligent and not virulent in their dismissal of the lifestyle or personage of others.

Alas, some blogs are posted by beings of barely literate capacity although they might have something reasonable to say. I skip these subsequently, for I don’t need the annoyance of ill-composed prose, third-grade grammar, bathroom anecdotes, and no knowledge past what he or she sees on prime-time TV or daytime drama.

There are a few blogs with obvious intelligence, alas, tainted by perverse psychological depravity and fantasy space. See for example Ayesha. She and I have some things in common, yet, I see her as Typhoid Mary. Don’t get near her for fear of your life.

I have either matured or become jaded over the last three years. I still believe in the goodness of FLR on an individual basis. It can be wonderful when both partners sign up to it and honor it.

Over the last three years I have seen many FLRs come and go. Most failures were caused by lack of motivation, and subsequently, lack of commitment. I now believe that the only FLR that survives time is the one where the woman is a natural dominant, and the man is a natural submissive. This is my rule number one, the only rule of FLR. Other combinations are transitory. You are welcome to give me counter-examples, and I would be anxious to be informed. But you must be convincing. For example, the relationship to refute my claim would have to be long-term, such as more than a few of years, have a plan for the future, such as including moral, emotional, financial, and legal commitments, and having survived hardships. Those in current sexual infatuation with a person, and part-time-FLR need not apply.

If all you have is anecdotal evidence of FLR with a lot of sex, kink, and satisfaction of one partner or other, don’t bother to convince me. Regardless of the subject, such as CBT, cuckolding, spanking, slavery, etc., they are just sex play: take away the kink, and you are out of what you thought to be FLR.

If you are an avid advocate of female supremacy at the cost of males, you are in fantasy-land, and will have a hard awakening when your ass hits the road after being booted or abandoned.

If all you have is hope, fantasy, or a few sexual scenarios, have fun, but you are not within reality.

Real FLR partners are encouraged to respond (see for example, femdom101), and I would be happy to learn about you, and would support you. If I get no response, then I will conclude that I am right.

I Appreciate Erotic Photography

I realize that the appreciation of the view of females, males, or together is personal. We all have preferences. What I am putting forth here is expressing only my likes and dislikes. I don’t mean that other view or preferences are wrong in any way. I am sure that most of us would have some of these in common. There is a partial overlap in preferences. For example, most of us like to see the female form whether we are male, female, heterosexual, or other. I would like to have included samples of photography to illustrate my point. Alas, I have none that I own, and I rarely use existing photos without permission. I am sure that you can find many that would suffice for your satisfaction. It would be fun.

I like to see a female form in mostly upright position, such as standing, leaning on props. She may have one knee on a chair, for example. I like to see her from the front, side, and back. There is such a powerful feeling imparted by her muscles, curves, skin, hair. A face can be an additional attraction, but it can also be detraction.

I like to see the point of view from the camera focused midway on the figure to give it balance. Many photographers are insensitive to that. They are often taller than the subject, and focus on or near the chest and head. The result is a distortion that does injustice to the subject. I often say, “Beautiful woman, bad photography.”

I tolerate poses that emphasize individual features of the woman. Sometimes they can be very attractive. However, when all that is shown is her parts, that is, concentrating on breasts, thighs, bottom in various positions, I find that something major is missing. It could be that she would be less attractive in full figure representation. Then again, I think that the principals involved (photographer and subject) are just inexperienced or stupid. If the parts poses are part of a gallery that includes the full figure shots, maybe it is OK.

I dislike close-up explicit shots of genitalia, especially when manipulated. I find it demeaning to the subject. I admit that some of the subjects would be doing something more meaningful if they were intelligent, but still, there is no need for it. If I want to see that, I could go for the raunchy pornography sites for it.

I don’t mind seeing a male form occasionally. However, when it is involved in explicit sexual acts with the female, I get turned off immediately. I don’t resent the implications that two may have had sex, for sex is what is driving the world. I just don’t want to see that degree of open intimacy.

I dislike oiled skin shots. The whole idea of oiled skin makes no sense. If she has oil on her, and she sits or lies on some fabric, the oil makes a mess of it. I cannot imagine my wanting to kiss or lick her anywhere that is covered by oil. Even worse is when she is dressed in assumed sexy wear and still be oiled. It does not follow. But there are some situations where oil on the skin is palatable. For example, a beach scenario, or say, oiled-skin wrestling, but that is getting off the subject.

Makeup and facial expressions can be erotic, distracting, and repulsive. Any normal look between serious, pleasant, or happy is fine. I dislike the faked pursed lips and pseudo sexy looks. Even worse than that are the sneering looks some women put on in an attempt to look different. Some women should not try to put on these fake looks, for they end up looking ridiculous. The photographer should be cognizant of the detraction. Yet, they go with it, thereby producing a gallery of much less value.

Occasionally I run across photographs in which a woman is portrayed as a dominant. I am sure that it is in the eye of the beholder, or the limited minds of the principals. A woman without stature can put on any combination of plastic, rubber, metal, and will look ridiculous. She can wear those asinine platform boots laced up to her eyeballs with the crotch and back open, and look even worse. On the other hand, some women need not have any of that. They could be portrayed in almost ordinary clothes or something more revealing, and still convey strength of demeanor. Choosing the quality of the subject is as important as choosing the photographer.

Since I am talking about still photography, voice, acting, and sophistication are not a consideration, so there is no hint about her attractiveness in those dimensions. For all we know, she could be a complete dud but beautiful. Still, some women impart class, when others impart a base quality. It may be a combination of props, presentation, and photography in addition to her looks. I have my preferences of size, shape, facial features, age, etc. as we all do. I am also versatile when it comes to those. Here is where presentation makes all the difference.

Photographs of non-professional females in their own environment can be very endearing and sensual as long as they don’t get very explicit, as in “spread lips”. These are impromptu snapshots, not set up like the professionals. When they succeed, they get extra credit for being themselves.

Slow Going

In September 2008 I first mentioned that MW would require surgery. She has planned it, and did some preliminary medical procedures to get to the point when the deed would be done. Things did not turn out well. Unrelated issues got in the way. Then there was her perfectionist approach dictating that all must be well before she embarks on this frightening and potentially dangerous journey. This year she decided to pursue it again, and re-started her effort with the medics.

Meanwhile she had scheduled another romantic getaway in another state for us. Her reasoning was, “I get the surgery out of the way, then all will be well, and we will have sex as we did before.” It is endearing to think that she could and would do that.

I am more of a realist. I know that I can depend on myself. I also know that when one or more persons are in the scenario, and the action of one depends on response of the other, things aren’t done as I would like to have them. Considering that I am not in charge of who, what, and where for this case, we are at the mercy of the system. Sure, it will work eventually, but not within our desired time frame. As the weeks went by, she could see that her surgery and subsequent recovery would not happen before our romantic getaway. I assured her that the important issues were for her to be well and completely recovered. We could still have the trip, but the surgery will likely be done after that.

During some pre-surgery tests the doctor came up with two potentially troublesome discoveries. We are still waiting for the evaluation and further tests. The way it looks, there is no chance for the surgery before the trip. It is also possible that we will have to cancel the trip in case the tests indicate a need for urgent response.

I know that I have not been writing about our usual great sex lately. It is because all has been on hold. We still share a lot, but they are less sexually oriented. MW is worried, and that makes it more difficult to think about the pending surgery. I am careful not to even hint about what we have missed all this time. She has enough on her mind.

A Quote From Elise Sutton

If there ever was a well-said opinion this is it from Elise Sutton:

“Lets take a step back and look at the purpose of a FemDom relationship. It is about your husband meeting your needs. It is not about you becoming the fulfillment of his fantasies.”

I regret that I don’t have the source of the quote, but I assure you that it is from her. I used to be an avid reader of hers.

If all males and females involved in an FLR were to abide by this, many such relationships would fizzle, others would transform in major ways. I am not saying that I have this rule that you must follow. Just that, there is a definition on which we could agree, for example, “Female leads, she makes the rules, male follows.” Sure, you can impose your own nuances on that, and no sane person would object as long as the basic rule is followed. Otherwise it is not an FLR, but yours or your wife’s fantasy. Somewhat like, “On Saturdays you wear the pink panties and …” I hope you know what I mean. Nothing wrong with that, and you could wear purple for all that anyone cares. But that is just between you and your partner, and does not change what E. Sutton said. She did not mention finances, house cleaning, oral service, or chastity in this statement. All she said of essence was that you [female] have your needs met. Period! The rest is up to the two of you.

I hope you enjoy!

Haunted By Ill-Placed Empathy

I walk from my car to the store. Near the entrance a middle-aged man moves in my direction. His unkempt, ill-fitting clothes emanate an odor of many days’ sweat. His face may be handsome but the dark suntan under the unshaved skin conveys a neglect that is consistent with his persona. He is muttering something unintelligible as he steps off the curb into the path of oncoming traffic. I am within a couple of steps, so I lunge outward and pull him to safety by the back of his loose short coat. He lands on his bottom on the sidewalk. He ignores me.


She moves slowly on the sidewalk in an exaggerated rolling gait. She is pushing a shopping cart piled with items that most of us leave in dumpsters. Her clothes may have seen many previous owners. Layers of pants and shirts cover her to the extent that only part of her face is visible. Her hands are covered with gloves of filth. Her hair hangs below the cap on her head. The thick matted mess would resist combing with a rake. She stops every few steps and seems to count things in her mind using her fingers, then resumes her slow ambling. At the traffic signal she pauses, then turns her shopping cart around the way she came, and continues her trip. The passer-bys, the traffic, the noise of the street don’t seem to be in her realm.


These are two people not in my social acquaintance, unlikely to encounter again. They appear people who have lost contact with those who may have cared about them. Two people whom I may one day have to take into protective custody.


It was the evening of a holiday. Most of the drunken parties have taken place on the eve before, so we had little to do. No calls for our services were made, drivers behaved decently. We were getting sleepy. As I drove at traffic-speed my partner said, “We could serve some warrants.” He was always looking ahead, and as usual, had a handful of printed warrants to serve as an option.

“Come on, this is a holiday. Even a scumbag deserves a rest from time to time,” I suggested.

“Well then, let’s stop at the intersection. The intersection was where we usually bagged traffic offenders within a couple of minutes of observation. I drove there and stopped just off the road on a vacant lot, positioning the car so that we could see traffic from four directions. Just as we stopped an SUV slowed at the intersection, and made a left turn without stopping. With four-way stop signs that was cause for us to intercept. As I switched on the strobe we received a call to proceed to an address up in the foothills to see about a domestic dispute. The address was in the direction that I have taken already after the SUV. The driver of the SUV lucked out. We sped by her on the way.

Even with the emergency response it took about ten minutes, and by the time we got there, the dispute was over. We were satisfied. Nobody was seriously hurt, no charges were pressed, and we were asked to leave by both parties.

My partner said, “As long as we are here, we could see this guy.” He handed me the warrant for the arrest of a person with an address in the neigborhood. Charges: possession and sale of drugs in this state, escape from a psychiatric institution while under observation for domestic violence and lewd behavior in another state, etc. We are not judges, but we make some judgments. He seemed to be a person to arrest even on a holiday; besides, he was unlikely to be stupid enough to stay at his home address after that.

In the darkness of the night we looked for the address among trailer homes of the neighborhood. We found the place after several passes. A woman in her twenties answered the door. She was devastatingly beautiful and sexy. I tried to remain functional. The subject was asleep in the trailer, and had to be rousted to come along. My partner handled the arrest with his usual skill without incident while I watched the woman and her little boy who were standing outside within a few feet of me. The subject was a short, stocky man in his late twenties. His face emanated hatred and instability. Still wearing only shorts of some jersey material he was shirtless. We stuffed him into the back of the car with hands cuffed behind him. I asked the woman whether we could take some clothes along so that he could dress when the opportunity arose. She nodded, and then walked up the two steps into the trailer. In a minute she returned with a paper bag with some of his clothes, which I tossed, into the trunk of our car.

After we dropped off the subject at the jail I relaxed a bit while reflecting on the actors involved. Here I was, doing this mostly for fun. There was my partner, doing it for making a living. There was the subject doing it because at some point he though it was the best thing he could do. There was the woman who could have been in a better place just about anywhere, but she was doing it because she was protecting her son, an adorable five-year old.

It has been years ago that this took place, but I am still not over it. The danger that the man’s face projected was more than I would want to impose on a young woman and her child. Yet, as bad as I felt about the woman and her child, I felt worse about the man. He was obviously not fully functional in his mental capacity. He had to be contained, for he was dangerous. But he was some mother’s son. Some mother, who had lost the fight to protect him, as he grew away from her in age and involvement with bad people. The lovable five-year old that I remember from the incident may be following the same path, breaking the heart of his beautiful mom.

An ordinary job, for example, being a clerk in a store, can be challenging, but does not take much except perseverance. He can go home in the evening and detach himself from the next day’s challenges of dealing with peers, customers, promotions, and maybe looking for another job. Law enforcement, on the other hand, is not just a job. It is a twenty-four hour a day responsibility. One does not just go home in the evening and be done with it until the next day: after a while things turn around. An ordinary person has a life, and, "oh by the way", he has a job. A law enforcement officer out on the streets has his profession, and, "oh by the way", he may have a life, but don’t count on it. He tries, but it often fails.

Empathy with or intense dislike of the subjects comes up repeatedly. It becomes very difficult to continue being subjective and be able to make quick decisions between victim and perpetrator especially when they are indistinguishable. Trusting subjects can and will be the cause of lives lost. Empathy misplaced takes its toll. It is difficult not to become jaded, but empathy not given also haunts us. I remember incidents when I could have trusted …

Some Women

I have been reading comments on a blog, and made some replies to the original posting. There is a person who appears to be female who has also commented. As usual, we, the readers make good-natured responses based on the posting and also on comments made by readers. Sometimes readers take offense, and we end up in verbal free-for-all unless the owner of the blog or one of us calls an end.


This time I ended up responding to one commenter who said,

“As soon as a male needs training, he's already out of my book.
As soon as a male claims he wants to be trained, he's trying to top from the bottom
As soon as a woman believes a male needs training, she's wasting her time.
As soon as a female wants to train a male, she's not a femdom in my book.
And then, “Why should i care if a sub (as u call them), wants to please me or not? I crave danger.“”

My comment to her was, “You are destined to be one lonely woman.”

Well, the stuff hit the fan at that point, and she became offensive. After I reflected on the events I posted a comment in an attempt to defuse the situation, “I meant no offense. Let’s just get over it.” Those were not exactly my words, but I don’t want to get too sappy in showing all. After my comment was posted she made more snide remarks of no discernible value. Seeing her response I decided to remove my comment Her response to the removal was, "…removed his ‘peace offer’. Well, how about that! Males. U can't trust them, hehehe.”

At this point I will say this: As much as I love women, I have my limits. When I wrote my “peace offer” I thought that she had some redeeming qualities, and she and I could come to a reasonable relationship of somewhat opposing views. Silly me. No redeeming qualities there. Aside from her grammatically challenged writing and virulent opinion, such as,

“I'm not monogamous.
I'm not married, never will be, nor am i interested in married men.
Few males turn me on. Genuine slaves do.
I share my home with 4 other women, and have sex with all of them.
I believe that men who cheat on their women, should be put up for castration.
The concept of superiority/inferiority was removed from my life a long time ago, and is alien to me.
Femdom shouldn't find its roots in patriarchal cultures, or be based on male fantasies.
The assumption u could, for whatever reason, eat me for breakfast, could leave u with a major food poisoning.“

I think that she will indeed end up as a very lonely woman. She imparts no love or care, and expects explicit slaves. As I said to another such woman, “good luck”. It may work for a while, but wait until you run out of funds, youth, and stupid slaves.

I don’t think she has enough to give for someone to care. The one-dimensional male that she wants in her life is like a slice through reality: there is nothing there. She will wish that she had had the wisdom to give some all along. But by then it will be too late.

Female Superior Position

God, I love to serve a woman. In my case it is my wife. She is a deserving person of my love, admiration, and servitude. I also love to serve other women. I love them just because they are female, and feel protective and supportive toward them. I also have the hots for them, but that is not to be satisfied. At the same time I admit that my devotion to females is not universal. Each such person must be worthy of my attention. That is what separates me from wimps, would-be-slaves, and useless creatures who claim to be sub human.

There is a blog by John. He posts provocative ideas. We don't know whether he is in his seventies with a fertile imagination and no cock, or a young man who has no real personality. His blog is all based on rhetoric without evidence of reality. I have been following it, and tried to remain supportive, but it has been a challenge. In the last one Female Superior Position he asks questions, such as, “Who should be on top, and whether a submissive male should be allowed intercourse.” Ok, they are just questions, so I should not get riled. But even questions can be inappropriate. It is his blog, and there were many people responding including me. But that is the reason for my post this time. By his questions he drew people into a discussion that is so broad that any of the specific topics could not be covered in satisfaction: responses ranged from here to infinity.

My assessment of his blog is that he is a frustrated male in his forties who has no access to what he really needs: a strong woman to whip his ass. He advocates female supremacy, which is the opposite of male supremacy. If I interpret his writing correctly, he is willing to submit to anything as long as it is female. By his assumption a female cannot be wrong, misguided, stupid, idiotic, or psychotic. Therefore, females should be in charge of everything, and males should be serving all who need serving. Males should be subjugated, mistreated, kept in mental and physical bondage by all females.

If you have read my posts, you will understand that I have a real problem with this interpretation. I have gone through wars and revolutions to depose tyranny. Female supremacy is tyranny, just as male supremacy is. In a fantasy world one can submit to slavery, but we are in a real world, and slavery is not one to prescribe to all of us by some schmuck who thinks it is cool. I will say again, female supremacy is as bad as male supremacy.

A person, regardless of gender, should rise to his intellectual level in life. He should not be prevented from excelling in any field that is constructive and helpful to the species. I may have prejudices based on experience, but I truly believe in allowing the member of any race or gender to attain what they are capable of attaining. If they succeed, fine. If they fail, hey, they are just like the rest of us.

This idea of supremacy based on being female is just crap. It is created in the fertile imagination of some who like to rattle our chains but have nothing to offer. I am a firm supporter of women’s rights. The whole idea should not be an issue. Women are human, and must have human rights no less, and no more than men have. As for who is in charge, let the best person be.

When it comes to partners in life, anything goes as long as you don’t try to impose your silly rules on others. I might like your lifestyle, and would try to copy it, but I don’t feel compelled to follow it.