Thursday, February 11, 2010

Distillation of the Essence of Female Led Relationship

When I started this blog I was eagerly grabbing anything to do with Female Led Relationship (FLR). I also got my thrills reading about D/S, CBT, orgasm denial, etc. But then, this was the year 2007, and blogspace has bloated since. It seems that anyone with access to the Internet via a computer or some lesser devices will post anything.

We are mired in crud!

I still enjoy selected blogs whose authors appear intelligent and not virulent in their dismissal of the lifestyle or personage of others.

Alas, some blogs are posted by beings of barely literate capacity although they might have something reasonable to say. I skip these subsequently, for I don’t need the annoyance of ill-composed prose, third-grade grammar, bathroom anecdotes, and no knowledge past what he or she sees on prime-time TV or daytime drama.

There are a few blogs with obvious intelligence, alas, tainted by perverse psychological depravity and fantasy space. See for example Ayesha. She and I have some things in common, yet, I see her as Typhoid Mary. Don’t get near her for fear of your life.

I have either matured or become jaded over the last three years. I still believe in the goodness of FLR on an individual basis. It can be wonderful when both partners sign up to it and honor it.

Over the last three years I have seen many FLRs come and go. Most failures were caused by lack of motivation, and subsequently, lack of commitment. I now believe that the only FLR that survives time is the one where the woman is a natural dominant, and the man is a natural submissive. This is my rule number one, the only rule of FLR. Other combinations are transitory. You are welcome to give me counter-examples, and I would be anxious to be informed. But you must be convincing. For example, the relationship to refute my claim would have to be long-term, such as more than a few of years, have a plan for the future, such as including moral, emotional, financial, and legal commitments, and having survived hardships. Those in current sexual infatuation with a person, and part-time-FLR need not apply.

If all you have is anecdotal evidence of FLR with a lot of sex, kink, and satisfaction of one partner or other, don’t bother to convince me. Regardless of the subject, such as CBT, cuckolding, spanking, slavery, etc., they are just sex play: take away the kink, and you are out of what you thought to be FLR.

If you are an avid advocate of female supremacy at the cost of males, you are in fantasy-land, and will have a hard awakening when your ass hits the road after being booted or abandoned.

If all you have is hope, fantasy, or a few sexual scenarios, have fun, but you are not within reality.

Real FLR partners are encouraged to respond (see for example, femdom101), and I would be happy to learn about you, and would support you. If I get no response, then I will conclude that I am right.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi SP:

I agree that FLRs will probably only survive over the long haul if the woman is naturally dominant and the man is naturally submissive. I am starting to feel like the whole FLR model is an artificial concoction based primarily upon fantasy to begin with. Love, trust and honest communication are the most important components in any relationship and it is no different with an FLR. All relationships must be flexible in order to survive the changes that life will inevitably bring their way. IMHO this can be hampered by trying to impose rigid structures and inflexible rules on relationships as one may be tempted to do by following the FLR model too closely. As I have often said there is no "right way" to do this.

If one of partners in a relationship has kinky sexual fantasies they should be discussed , sympathetically understood and hopefully addressed by the other partner. When it comes to making up strict codes of conduct surrounding power structure I have not found those to be very helpful. D/s roles should be worn like loose fitting garments that can be easily cast aside when necessary. They should never be written in stone IMHO.

Blogging has brought me a lot of joy and fellowship in addition to being a welcome creative outlet. I never set out to impress anyone or convince them of anything and I could care less if anyone believes I am "legitimate" or not. I have only tried to express some of my inner most thoughts and feelings in the hopes that there were others out there who could relate to them. Blogging has also been a valuable tool for clearing up some of the conflicts and confusion in my own mind.

Her Majesty and I have a very loose, relaxed structure to our relationship. She has a genuinely dominant personality and is willing to indulge my little fetishes and peccadilloes when the mood strikes her (or when I beg hard enough! LOL!) I have come to realize that I am very lucky as submissive men go and that it really doesn't get much better than this!



P.S. Just had oral surgery and I am on pain medicationd as I write this so I hope it makes sense! ;-)

Susan's Pet said...


No worries. You are lucid, articulate, and you make sense. You are one of the few males who see FLR without the need for rosy-colored glasses. I am not saying this just because we agree on this subject. You seem to have a mature view of relationships in general.

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Thanks SP! I sincerely appreciate that!