Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Denial Tool

There is a lot of discussion on the blogs about the value of denying a man his orgasm and how much more ardent he becomes in turn, blah, blah, … A reasonable discussion of it I have read at Hormonal Urges.

Much of this is based on fantasy, folklore, and myth. I find it funny to read someone saying how a man is more willing to serve a woman if he is horny, as opposed to being satiated after an orgasm.

Right. So, who is writing this? Is it a man in his dull fantasy, one who has no access to a female whom he can serve, or is it a woman who has everything figured out with respect to how men are, based on one slovenly boyfriend?

I want to set some things straight for the rest of this post. I am a man. I am heterosexual, I love women, and I love to serve women.

As for universal rules, yes, there are some, such as “once you are dead you are dead”, but I cannot, and will not make any here. I will make comments based on my experience and my education, but will avoid trying to give you a rule to live by, such as, “keep him chaste, and he will serve you to the hilt …” Yeah, right.

I admit that I have fantasies that I would love to fulfill just before, or at the time of orgasms, and then no way would I want to encounter them on purpose. Don’t we all?

What does not change, however, is my basic relationship with MW. Regardless of dire circumstances, we are mated for life. We serve each other like we serve no one else. This is based on knowledge, respect, love, and devotion. Sex enters the picture in a grand manner, but it is not the deciding factor.

Many relationships, including marriage, fail because sex is the deciding factor. So, when you talk of chastity, denial, female led relationship, dominance/submission, are you including the basic supporting means of a relationship, or are you just talking sex? If you are just talking sex, then this myth of men being useless unless they are kept horny fits with your understanding.

I am not implying that you cannot have great sex without commitment. You can, which is why condoms were invented. I think that is where the tease and denial idea is best used effectively dealing with a shallow man, or used by a shallow woman. It has been demonstrated by anecdotal experience all over the blogosphere. It is fun under the circumstances. But, don’t try to make it a universal rule.

There are some of us who have commitments deeper than an orgasm.


DoubtingSean said...

Well put. Smart guy.

I recently read on another blog a line that made a lot of sense. A submissive man that requires his orgasms controlled is a shallow man.

News flash to the few real female doms that read this blog, chastity devices are 95% fetish, 5% control.

Maybe it's just me but the subs who have blogs, with those cute little 'last time since I had an orgasm' meters, come off like alcoholics. Always in need to let you know the last time they had a drink.

Anything done in excess tends to be a problem. Oh yea, and whats up with the femdoms that claim their subs bringing them to 3-4 orgasms before they role over, deny his release and go to sleep. How is that not in excess?

lawyer said...

Hello from Germany

Nice blog.

For me, being one of the few female doms and at the same time a "beginner" as far as F/M is concerned, it is actually sometimes difficult to tell, which part of some male reports are real and which parts belong to the realm of fiction.