Friday, January 22, 2010

A Quote From Elise Sutton

If there ever was a well-said opinion this is it from Elise Sutton:
“Lets take a step back and look at the purpose of a FemDom relationship. It is about your husband meeting your needs. It is not about you becoming the fulfillment of his fantasies.”
I regret that I don’t have the source of the quote, but I assure you that it is from her. I used to be an avid reader of hers.

If all males and females involved in an FLR were to abide by this, many such relationships would fizzle, others would transform in major ways. I am not saying that I have this rule that you must follow. Just that, there is a definition on which we could agree, for example, “Female leads, she makes the rules, male follows.” Sure, you can impose your own nuances on that, and no sane person would object as long as the basic rule is followed. Otherwise it is not an FLR, but yours or your wife’s fantasy. Somewhat like, “On Saturdays you wear the pink panties and …” I hope you know what I mean. Nothing wrong with that, and you could wear purple for all that anyone cares. But that is just between you and your partner, and does not change what E. Sutton said. She did not mention finances, house cleaning, oral service, or chastity in this statement. All she said of essence was that you [female] have your needs met. Period! The rest is up to the two of you.

I hope you enjoy!


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi SP:

Great post! It wasn't until I internalized that important distinction (probably from reading Elise Sutton) that I really began to understand what Female domination and male submission were all about. Up until then I thought it just about asking Her Majesty to act out my sexual fantasies. Once I got the difference into my head whole new vistas opened up for us and our relationship began to change dramatically, in important and very positive ways.

There is much conjecture about Elise Sutton. Is she a man pretending to be a woman? Is she a consortium of people writing under a pseudonym? Is her work fiction masquerading as reality? These are fascinating questions but in certain ways the answers to them don't really matter. There are important fundamental truths in her books. Reading her exposed me to a different way of looking at femdom relationships that proved immensely valuable for Her Majesty and I. In many ways reading Elise Sutton provided the spark of inspiration that paved the way for everything that came after.

I keep meaning to review her books on my blog! Thanks for giving me the inspiration to do so! ;-)



ctredford said...

I am sorry to post this here. I was looking for I way to email you, but I didn't see an address for you.

I would like to get your input on the signaling device. Are you still using one?

Susan's Pet said...


Yes we use the device daily, as we have for several years. Every few years I buy a new device just to keep up with changes.

Go to, and search for “remote trainer”.

I saw some at the national chain stores, PetSmart. I don’t know whether they still have it. I think this is becoming politically incorrect, so you may not find one to your satisfaction. Good luck, and I hope that it is not more than you wished when you find it.