Orgasm Control By The One In Charge

At first I was thrilled reading web logs and forums on the subject. I still get some thrill under selected circumstances. But in general, the thrill is not as intense as it used to be.

In an analogous fashion to the old adage, “There are no old jokes, just old people who have heard them already,” I want to add: “Orgasm control is thrilling, unless you have read or experienced it all.”

Now that I have alienated most of the newbe’s I will get down to the meat of the matter. In a female led relationship all participants’ orgasms should be up to the female if she chooses so. Note that this is not a rule, just a reasonable suggestion. Her orgasms, without question, should be approved and requested by her. Otherwise it would not be an FLR. She can play vanilla if she chooses, but it is still her choice. Have I made myself clear?

Now we are getting to his orgasms or the lack of. Here is where we can get really weird, kinky, or just plain mean. Some of us (well, maybe not me, see Ignore and Denial) males get off on being denied. I don’t begrudge the idea or the experience. It is great fodder for fantasy. Some men have written books about it. I, myself, like to play it for a while on and off.

Now, my input: I don’t want to be “ignored and denied”. I would occasionally love to be teased and denied, even repeatedly, but only to a certain extent. At some point I get pissed off, and the deal is off. Unless I am in some sort of secure chastity device, and I have been on and off, I will have my private pleasure, and to hell with guilt.

Some forums concentrate on chastity and orgasm denial. The participants present their pathetic fantasies, and in some better pieces, their realities. Those who rely strictly on fantasy have my pity. It is a shame that they don’t have a woman who can really deny their orgasms, as opposed to their wishing. Nevertheless, I don’t mind the genre as such. It is at least mildly entertaining.

Then there are some real posts. If a man really wants to be denied, for now, for a while, or for ever, hey, who am I to object? I just don’t see the attraction on the long run. It can be fun while playing games. But after a while, damn it, a man just have to get his rocks off! Yeah, I know, it’s a guy thing. Just like a female orgasm is a girl thing. To each his or her own.

MW can have one, more, or several orgasms in a row. I love to give her what it takes to do that. She knows it. Me, I can have one at a time. On rare occasions I had more. But not lately. So, if I don’t begrudge her to have any number of these little deaths, any time, why should she prevent me from having one once in a while? She does not. Forget the drivel about a man being more willing to serve if he is denied orgasm. It's fantasy. I might not be as willing, say, being forced to suck another man's cock immediately after I had orgasmed, wheras, lateer, ... well, who knows. But a man willingly submissive to a woman should do all he can regardless of whether she had allowed him to orgasm half hour before, or a year before. If you disagree, then you are just making judgement on the submissives who are already doing just that: orgasm has nothing to do with being submissive on the long run.

Men bitch about lack of orgasms, or they brag about not having any because the significant other put them in a device or such, etc… I think that all that has to do with what the men want, rather than what the women want. The women mostly go with the men’s fantasy. It’s OK, just that let’s call it what it is. It’s easier for her to take a hint, rather than try to make up stuff that he might not like, and then bitch about it. Let’s write a short story, a novel, or a “submissive male’s user’s manual”, and call it that. Let’s not call it reality unless it is real.

I admit that I get off on weird things such as CBT, orgasm denial, chastity, female domination, etc. I could almost live on that stuff. Well, maybe not, but it would be fun to try for a while. But in my case, the bottom line is, without my orgasms at a more or less frequent interval, the whole thing sucks, but not in a good way. Yes, I could learn to live with it, and yes, I have from time to time, but no, I don’t want to live with it for the rest of my life. If I miss an orgasm today, I can never make it up later.

In some scenario I could end up with a mate who cannot provide any orgasms for me. That is not an uncommon situation. Regardless of her feelings, permissions, customs, or expectations, I would have to consider mine. Life is short. Pleasures are expensive or cheap, depending on your approach and preferences. Only few things in life are freely available, and this is one. What am I to do in this case? My answer would be, “Whatever it takes.” So, as you can conclude, I am not a true submissive by the rules when it comes to orgasms. I would take my own pleasure without permission. Unless MW were to forbid it. Until then, you know …