Sunday, October 18, 2009

Scorpio

If you are a careful reader of my blog, you already know that whenever I am at home and we have no guests, I am in my natural state, or as MW and I have been referring to it lately, “being in uniform”. As pleasant as I find this state, it has some negative consequences. In the winter I practically have to carry a portable heater with me to stay relatively comfortable. During the last few days our resident mosquito has savaged my body twice a day with several stings; each of which persist for an hour or so.

Being ”in uniform”, which is my natural state, also means being barefooted. I walked into the bathroom at around 7PM last night to take a shower. It was dark, and I was about to turn on the light when I felt a hot pin penetrating the side of my right foot. I believe, I said, “Oh shit!” or something similarly unoriginal but descriptive of my assessment of the situation. I was carrying my shower shoes, so as soon as the light was on, I zeroed in on a two-inch scorpion and reacted as any red-blooded male would. In a second it was dead by purposeful execution. You may call it retaliation. It probably does not qualify as self-defense on my part since I was already dead – so to speak.

MW heard my exclamation and came to investigate the reason behind my usage of foul language. After seeing the critter, she saw nothing wrong with my choice of words. She applied her home remedy to the area affected by the sting. I commented, “Unless one is allergic to scorpion sting, it does not seem bad,” The sting was no worse than one of the many bee stings that I have endured over the years while pruning flowering bushes and trees.

In a while the side of my foot, the point of the sting, began to tingle in addition to the burning sensation. Within an hour the foot developed a throbbing with spreading numbness. MW looked up scorpion sting on the Internet, and to our amazement she had found many similar symptoms describing my condition. The suggestions to remedy the situation ranged from the application of an ice pack to a visit to a hospital’s emergency room. I am no pussy, so naturally I did none of those. I decided to work out the venom. The plan was to pump iron in my exercise room in order to jack up the speed of metabolizing the substance. After MW threatened to shoot my other foot, I decided that my idea might not be very good under the circumstances.

An hour and a half after ground zero, while chewing an apple, my throat began to feel constricted. The tingly-numbness had traveled up my right leg by this time. In any other respect I felt all right, so when the time arrived for my usual nocturnal pass-out MW left the room to watch television, and I did what I find natural under the circumstances: pass out.

I woke at around 2AM, at that time seven hours past ground zero. The tingly-numbness had by that time invaded both of my arms and hands. Being otherwise unaffected by this poison I returned to sleep with some confidence that I could handle it. I slept longer than usual, for it was after 4AM when I woke again. MW also woke, and said, “You aren’t going to work out this morning, right?” With my numb lips and tongue I managed to voice some unintelligible words meaning, “Damn right”.

It has been ten hours since that nasty little bugger zapped me. I probably would not want to be participating in disarming an explosive device, but otherwise I seem to be all right. Sure, my chest muscles are numb, and my hands feel as if thousands of pins are pricking them gently as I type these words. My right leg thinks that I am wearing pants made of wire brush material. My throat is still under the impression that I had tried to swallow a two-inch metal ring, and I am breathing through it. My tongue is a bit thick and numb. Other than that, all is well.

Update

It has been fifteen hours since ground zero. The only discernible affect on me is the tingling right foot. Yes, the throat is still holding the metal ring, but I may be digesting it slowly. Knowing the cause it does not disturb me much. Otherwise I would be trying to make an appointment with my doctor, assuming that his office is taking calls on a Sunday. Such as it is, MW suggested that I don’t do anything that requires great divestiture of energy for the nonce. I am eager to comply. That means goofing off all day. I would not trust myself to drive a vehicle, use a gun, or, as I said, try to disarm a bomb.

What I have learned from this is, “Wear at least shower shoes when in the dark.” Of course, that would be no deterrent of rattle snakes, but then, most of them are outside of the house


Next Update

It has been 36 hours since ground zero. The side of my right foot still retains some numbness, but the other effects have diminished to where I am not sure that they are there.

I try to be positive about this experience. We have not used poison to try to kill critters that invade our home. One line line of thought is that they were here first. The other has to do with unexpected side effects: poison may kill your target, but it propagates up the food chain where you end up killing animals that are no threat to you. The most compelling reason for not using a wide spectrum poison is that we end up killing the least resistant. The ones that remain will become sturdy, and in a far stretch of imagination, intelligent. I have maintained a belief that cockroaches will inherit Earth. Of course, they will have to declare war on themselves in order to survive. Just like us.

By the way, I am human, not cockroach.


Update Again

It is now two and a half days since the scorpio incident. This morning I had another visitor. This little guy is maybe half an inch longer than the one that zapped me, around three inches all together. I wished to put a coin next to it for measure, but he/she was on a slippery slope and angry, so I did not want to mess with it.
It is now dead by execution.

Yet Another Update ...

It seems strange, but after four days my right foot still retains numbness. I think that some of the viscera was digested by the venom. I can walk on it, and use it as my other foot, yet when I touch it, there is a numbness under the skin. I don't think that anti-venom via the emergency room of a hospital would have made a difference. We go through life taking chances. This was one, and I was damaged. Maybe I will recover. Maybe I will live with it. I am more aware of looking for scorpions and rattle snakes.

4 comments:

MJ's Slave said...

Do you think you need an epi pen? This sounds like a very extreme reaction. i hope you are feeling better by now. Shoes are good.

Maybe your Mistress will order you to wear them so your service will not be interrupted.

My best wishes for your speedy recovery. Thank you for your kind comments on my blog. I have been having a challenging time and your comments have meant more to me than you know.

~nik

Susan's Pet said...

Sweet thing, even my wife would encourage me to do what I can do for you (not in a sexual way). I know we are virtual friends, nevertheless, I appreciate it much. I hope that I can help you when you need it. You are welcome to email me any time.

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

SP:

Wow! A scorpion sting sounds very serious to me! Doubtless I would have beat a hasty path to the emergency room. But then I am a city dweller. Where my Queen comes from (The West Indies) they are quite common. Some stings are reportedly not so bad but others can make the victim extremely ill. From what I understand the little black ones are the worst. Her Majesty's little brother once went to school with one in his shoe and did not realize it till he got home. It was a miracle he wasn't stung!

Good luck! I wish you a speedy recovery! And yes shower sandals sound like they might be a good idea! ;-)

subservient-husband said...

you are silly.... ;-}