Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Not Much Happening

Coasting On Fumes

Not Much Is Happening in the FLR Sense. I don’t have anything significant to report, so I have kept silent to avoid boring you. Life is good. We are relatively healthy, our son’s home purchase and subsequent move are pending. We are helping people, relatives and friends. We have family gatherings here and there at least once a month that most of us enjoy.

My hard labor keeps me from getting a real job on account of I am dragging my ass when the work is over. Yes, maybe I could get a job doing some office work, of whatever nature. Damn! I thought that I was in good shape with respect to my investments. But as we all know, shit happens. I am not complaining. We are not exactly going hungry. Then again, it would be nice to have all the stuff that we expected at the end of the rainbow.

MW is mostly nice with occasional bitch-in-your-face. I can live with it. We go out to a restaurant about every three weeks when she gets desperate for a served meal. She keeps me going. I am maintaining the household fairly well, and help her in all the things that she does. She cooks excellent meals that we both enjoy. I don’t get enough sex, but then what man does?

I guess that covers it all: FLR, sex, food, and shelter, in that order. What else does a man need? Maybe you could even skip shelter. The bottom line is that she still has the last word, and that is how we both want it.

For your amusement I am including some pontification on the right of a man to stand up.

Real Men Do It Standing

My usual disclaimer: I am not bashing males. I have respect for males, being one myself. I am not a female supremacist, and I don’t believe that all males are inferior. Keep this in mind as you read the rest.

I have heard and read too many times women complaining about men leaving the toilet seat up. I will have something to say about this later, but for now, “Women, if a man can lift the lid, you can put it down. What the hell is the big deal?”

I also have heard and read men bitching about “having to sit” to pee for whatever reason: wearing a chastity device, too many piercings, too much jewelry, etc. The context is always like some formerly wonderful gift that he is forced to give up because of some trivial circumstance. Give me a f’n break!

You so-called men who are used to “stand up and piss” are holding on to your Neanderthal heritage. There is nothing sacred about standing while you piss, you egotistical testosterone driven simpletons! I will tell you what reality is, and pay attention, or I will kick your hairy asses!

Whoa! Excuse me, please. I can really get carried away with this.

All of you men, who think that you have a right to stand and piss in an indoor toilet, listen! Leaving the lid up is just a symptom of your preoccupation with your early inadequate training. You think that your cock, given to you by your mother, entitles you to do certain things. You are wrong. It does not. You are no different from your female siblings who are smart enough to sit to avoid spilling stuff on the floor and splattering onto the walls like you do. The only difference for this purpose is the shape of the orifice. So, get over it!

If you are still with me, you may not be as misguided as many men are. I will explain all of this.

While living in my parents' home I was never offended by the smells in our bathrooms, because my mother kept everything clean. Then I was married, and the situation was the same. My wife did the cleaning, so I was never offended. On one day, my wife and I visited some people. I needed to use the toilet, so I entered the only bathroom in their tiny home. Not disparaging the accommodations, just commenting on the maintenance: there was a smell of urine around the toilet. I guessed how that came about: it was not because the female resident spilled her urine on the wall and the floor while standing up to urinate.

I don’t remember whether it was this episode or something earlier, but I know that after that I had a resolve to sit on the toilet when I urinate. It had nothing to do with being a sissy, being submissive, or being a dominated male. It just made sense. At that point I realized that somebody had to wash the outside of the toilet, the wall, and the floor regularly to keep it clean and to keep it from the offensive smell that males using the toilet deposit. It is not a “male” thing, as such. Female urine is just as offensive in this context. It is the lack of respect for the person who does the cleaning that really pissed me off, to use a pun. I was not one to perpetuate that primitive custom.

At that time, and during subsequent years, my wife was a “housewife” and we were making babies regularly. As my boys became aware of proper custom, I showed them to sit on the toilet while urinating. As profound as this may be, the education took. I doubt that they felt sissified or inadequate as a result of this request from me. They realized what was involved, and gladly complied. It was only after we had male visitors in the house that the floor and the walls had to be scrubbed around the toilet.

Later on I took charge of cleaning bathrooms, and I am still doing that. My wife is spared the chore because I am her servant in this respect. Given that, I resent the hell out of any male who stands at my toilet and marks the area. Leaving the lid up is a symptom, a lack of respect for the person who wants to sit on it, and the one who has to clean it.

So, any of you men, who still feel Neanderthal about having to stand and piss, do it outdoors. If you are not smart enough to know this, remember to turn your back to the wind. Otherwise, you should be made to clean the bathrooms regularly. You should also make your male children to do the same. Why? Because you make the mess!

I admit that I will do it standing up in a public restroom where a urinal is available, that is unless I am wearing some chastity contraption that would cause serious spillage. Considering the condition of some of these restrooms I very much symphatize with people who must always sit to pee.

6 comments:

Urmel said...

Point taken. Actually even before I got married, I sat down at home. When you have to clean up yourself, your perspective changes.

mistressusan said...

Bravo urmel :)

fd said...

Sorry to hear that your FLR ship now doesn't have any wind in the sails. i'm sure things will pick up soon. Thank you for posting on my blog. i always find your comments very stimulating.

Susan's Pet said...

Thanks FD,

I know that we are still in a FLR, because if I were to fail in my home work, she would whip my ass. Forgive me if I don't try to test my assumption. Maybe there is another way to test this.

s said...

I laughed a lot reading this post. Great job.

I do have a question, however: What is so difficult about AIMING AT THE WATER IN THE TOILET BOWL??!

Seriously...with now more than 35 years of daily practice, I think I can claim to NEVER miss. My wife wouldn't know if I were standing or sitting (it varies by my mood or quality of reading material!). But then, she hasn't cleaned a bathroom in several years.

Susan's Pet said...

S,

You speak from authority, so I will not refute your comment. I also realize that 35 years of practice makes your aim as good as it can be. As long as you are doing the cleaning, no person should complain.

My position is from a slightly different perspective. As I said, I have a keen sense of smell. I can tell when a pussycat, or a human missed the litterbox. This is backed up by an anecdotal position by my wife. She had younger male siblings who frequented a small bathroom in their home. According to her, "It was the Black Hole of Calcutta." Her comment was based on the stink and the detoriation of the floor around the toilet. The worst thing about this was that the boys, and her father, were not in charge of cleaning up, or repairing the damage.

Most men don't mean to be uncaring in this respect. Their aim may be good under most circumstances. But, there is a matter of "splatter" that is for ever. You can try it with some food coloring, and see what I mean.