Sunday, March 2, 2008

Poster Couple for FLR Part 5 - She Is not Expected to Give me a Life of My Fantasy

Fantasy drives ecstasy. Any of us having sex of any kind will admit to having some kind of thoughts that are not necessarily coincident with the person, situation, frame of mind, scenario, etc., with which we are dealing at the moment. For example, I have thought of MW expecting me to clean up after myself regardless of how I orgasm.

“What’s wrong with that? You say. Nothing. Except that she is not that way. I am fantasizing while having an intimate experience with her. This helps me to get where I will eventually arrive. Contrast this with my trying to convince her that forcing me to clean up after myself every time is really part of FLR, and that I fully expect her to do it, otherwise I am not really serving her. Note the words, “forcing, expect, and serving”. There is nothing in there that benefits her, but a lot about my expectation of pleasure. Yes, I would love all that, and no, I won't have it unless she gives it to me.

This is where most attempts at FLR fail. It is because the whole thing is for the man to get what he craves, and the woman to give it to him. The concept is fraught with holes in several ways, and I may go into that some other time. For now let us say that
  • I would love to be her “love slave” in and out of the bedroom
  • I would love to be mistreated by her in some erotic way much of the time
  • I would love to be in some stylized role acting situation often
  • I would love to have infinite number of orgasms at her hands, yet remain extremely horny all the time.
  • Etc.

But none of that is what my concept of FLR is. All of the above is great if I can have it. My real fantasy (I know, it is an oxymoron) is that I can fulfill my position of serving her, and that she is happy with my service. However she demonstrates her happiness, satisfaction, or dissatisfaction is up to her, and I am happy with that. Yes, I need and would love to have more sex in any fashion, but lack of my momentary satisfaction must not get in the way of our covenant.

I will be dissatisfied from time to time thinking that we could do more of “this and that”. Surely we will, if or when she decides to do so. I try to keep in mind that this whole thing was my idea imposed on her. I like to be kind, so giving her more responsibility without her asking for it is not what I do.

1 comment:

doll said...


I just did that little test on erotic style and came out a top. Life will have to get a whole lot more interesting.

Back on topic - it is rather disrespectful of your wife to go into fantasy during sex. I make a conscious effort to remain with my partner, totally focussed on him and myself rather than wandering off to fantasy land. It takes a lot of doing after a lifetime of fantasy during sex.