Saturday, March 15, 2008

Men In Panties

I was reading Mistress Kathy's blog the other day. If you are not familiar with her, and are interested in FLR, you must visit her blog. She is great. The topic of conversation followed her posting Random Thoughts On A Saturday Morning, and subsequent Men in Panties. I was going to add my two-cent’s worth, but then I started thinking that ranting on another person’s blog is inappropriate, yet I needed to elaborate on how I see things. So here I am.

It takes two to have a relationship, whatever works. Please don’t think that I am disparaging anyone as I say the following. I don’t get anything out of wearing panties in general unless it is used under special circumstances (see below). I have put on one of my wife's panties once when we were newly married. It was supposed to be funny. As for a man being humiliated by wearing panties, I don’t see the reason for humiliation, unless the man is one of those macho jerks who think that females are inferior. To me, panties are lovely feminine items with all positive connotations.

Aside from not wanting to wear panties (I don’t want to wear male underwear either), my wife’s beautiful underwear have an effect on me because I know where they have been, and that they contained that wonderful female anatomy which is the center of my being. I love to hand wash them and lay them out for her to wear again. Once in a while she had removed her panties and pulled them over my head while we were in a femdom sex play. One of my favorite wishes is that she uses it as a gag to keep me from being too loud when things get a little rambunctious.

Reading some of the blogs and the readers’ comments I think that there are more men who like to wear panties because they provide a link to the loveliness of a female which they, themselves, are unable to match or provide. I think that the humiliation aspect is less common, and may be misplaced, as in, “not having thought through.”

I realize that a teenage boy or a man being seen in panties in a locker room could have cause for embarrassment or humiliation. There are reasons for that. Some men think of women as sex objects, and have no respect for them as persons. Therefore, any man wearing panties is a sissy which is usually the derogatory term for a female. The other source of embarrassment is more basic to me. As open as I am in this venue, I don’t want to share any of these thoughts with people whom I know or whom I casually meet. Thus, if I were to have a fetish, and wearing panties may be considered such, I would want to keep it private. Even though the fetish or any such odd custom is benign, I would not want to burden another person with the knowledge. Then there is the potential for the unenlightened to try to take advantage of it.

In that sense a man wearing panties could be humiliating. As for my mistress forcing me to wear panties, or anything for that matter, while I am doing housework, I don’t see the humiliation aspect. Between her and me, she can do anything to me, including the wearing of female clothes. I may feel silly doing some of the things, but it would just add to my appreciation of the attention that she gives to me.

You can probably tell that I have been struggling with the justification of what is called “sissy” or “to sissify”. On the one hand, any man can be called a sissy, and everyone would know what it means: weak, unreliable, pantywaist, effeminate, etc.. On the other hand, some of these adjectives are related only by a far stretch of justification.

For example, a woman can be a “pantywaist” and that is all right since women generally wear panties. A man being called that is not all right, because he is supposed to have a cock and balls, and they don’t go with panties.

The other thing that is odd about the above list is that “weak” and “unreliable” are in the same context with “effeminate” which is another word for feminine. Generally that is not implied when talking about a female. A woman can be, and should be considered feminine, but there is no implication that she is by nature weak or unreliable. However, if a man is considered feminine, then ….

So you see my problem with all of this. I like to call a spade a “spade,” not “an implement used for moving crap.” Nothing seems to fit here.

So let’s decide once and for all, and begin to use the proper terms. Is a man wearing panties, or any female clothes, a sissy? Is a sissy a “pussy”, a wimp, an unreliable male with female characteristics? Are females endowed with such negative image that they can be used to present a man in a derogatory way?

Or is a man wearing panties trying to mimic the wonderful aura of a female, and is trying to do tribute to the beauty, softness, caring, sexy gender for whom he would give his life?

Or is it something between the two? But be careful of your attempt at justification of your answer. Be precise.

In my (less than humble) opinion a man wearing anything feminine is no worse or different than a woman wearing anything masculine. If it is done for deception, as by male or female transvestites, I still try to keep an open mind about it. I know that at some point the ruse will fail, and they will have to deal with it. If the purpose was for fun, and nobody was hurt, then I think that it is great. If it was done only for the joy of it, it is even better. I don't want to do it. If I tried, I would make a very unattractive "female." I just don't see the problem with it or with the humiliation aspect.


Ms. Lily said...

I have never done anything to my knight to humiliate him, he likes the fact that my panties have been where they have been, and he likes the feel of them. We have a good laugh and consider it to be all in good fun. I have known for a long time that he loves nylons and that is thrown into the mix at times as well. It started with me wearing them as a turn on for him, and then the fact that I am telling him to do so is what is actually the turn on for him, which in return is a turn on for me. I like to see him as happy as I am.
Ms. Lily

Susan's Pet said...

Ms. Lily,

I like your approach, and I am sure that so does your knight. I can appreciate "... he likes the fact that my panties have been where they have been..." very much. As I said, I am not one for wearing female apparel, but if my wife required it, I would be thrilled to comply.

Most of what we do in D/S and FLR is done to gratify the greatest sex organ, the mind. This is just one of those innocent quirks that pay off without cost. I don't see the humiliation under the circumstances.

Enjoy sharing your personalized wear!

Urmel said...

Thanks for this post. It expresses clearly what I have thought but could not grasp.

There are many other kinks in the sub-male department that I have problems understanding. In particular when the benefit for the woman is not clear.

For me the most difficult part has been to free my mind from all those clich├ęs to see what male submission is about.

The Virgin said...

Not that I'd do it myself, but I think I can understand where some men get turned on to dress in women's panties. They do remind you of the woman usually attached to them, and if they wear them for sexual arousal, then that's a straight man indeed. Ed Wood comes to mind ;)

VeezKnight said...

Why are we always so intent on putting labels on things and establishing definitions. Is a man who wears panties a sissy? What does it mean to be "truly" submissive. I see this everywhere and frankly, I wonder what the purpose is.

I like to wear panties. I don't wear them all the time. Goddess V doesn't "make" we wear them. And she doesn't consider me to be freak when I do. I don't feel particularly humiliated when I wear them (just somewhat foolish because they look so much better on a woman than they do on me...LOL).

I like to touch 'em. I like to sniff 'em. I like everything about 'em and practically anything imaginable that you might do with 'em.

Why? I don't know why. Because I have a fetish? Maybe. And does it make me a sissy? Maybe to some people it does. Do I care? Nah, not really.

Susan's Pet said...

Thank you all for your comments. It appears that men wearing panties is a harmless custom. I think that some men can get away with it, others will look funny. But then, I can say the same thing about a woman wearing Jockey shorts. It's not really the clothing that is odd, but the unexpectedness of it.

I find it interesting that as much as I don't want to see a woman wearing Jockey short, I have seen and loved the sight of the same woman in boxer shorts. It's in the eye of the beholder.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading through your blog a bit at a time... And I just had to leave a comment about this topic.

As the other's have noted - panties are intimate - the clear association they have to your Mistress is a strong motivator.

When the dressing in feminine attire goes further - perhaps as far as a cute little maid's uniform for house cleaning - it becomes something different. It can be humiliating - of course. But it is also a display of the Control your Mistress has over you. When She decides what clothing is appropriate for your gender - she is letting you know She thinks of you as something less male - something more sissy - gurly...

And isn't that the case of a man in chastity? He can't penetrate unless She decides to unlock him. He can be penetrated - of course... Doesn't that sound like a different gender? Shouldn't he be in a dress?

Susan's Pet said...

Miss D,

I agree with all that you have said. They all have to do with some of my (our) history of marriage.

I don't know whether I made my point with this posting, but it had to do with the inappropriateness of calling a man a "sissy" or of "sissyfying" a man by having him wear female apparel. I don't object to anyone doing it, just that the word "sissy" or "sissyfying" when applied to a man seems derogatory to females. I know, we can have examples and counter examples, but the interpretation of the issue is not logical. And there is the problem.