There are many blogs that advocate some degree of female led relationships ranging from a man staying home and becoming a housewife to becoming a total slave to a woman. Many of those favor the sexual satisfaction of the male controlled by the dominant partner. Most of these are written by men even when they claim to be women.
There are relatively few blogs dealing with the subject of tease-and-deny where the female admits to enjoying it when applying it to her partner. We are not even sure that some of those female-written blogs are authentic.
Looking at it from the point of view of a self-proclaimed submissive man, he will not voluntarily submit to drudgery and oppression by a woman without expecting some thrills for his troubles. Although a man, who is not necessarily submissive, may also want to submit in particular ways, he will similarly expect to receive some thrills from his woman. Let’s face it, a preference for voluntary submission of any nature is or at least borders on a sexual preference. In simple words, we call it a kink. Tease-and-deny fits in there perfectly, and I will show what the problem is, and why it occurs.
If you read patiently through the rest of this monolog you may want to refute my assertions by your own anecdotal evidence: citing an instance when this practice of tease-and-deny is working. Fine, if it is working for you. Just keep in mind that one instance does not make it true in general. You also have to ask, “How long has it worked? Is it continuous?”, and “Is it permanent?” I wish that I were wrong about this. Alas, that is not so.
Becoming Dominant by Decree
Before I get into this I will state that naturally dominant women have no problem dealing with intelligent and naturally submissive men. It is the other combinations that are troublesome.
There are a number of problems when the role of dominance is forced onto a woman whether or not she is vanilla or dominant already. Submissive people like to be forced in limited circumstances. Some dominants will go along with it when it titillates their kink. Those near 50/50 and above on the submissive-to-dominant scale will resist. Those closer to dominant will fight.
I am convinced that if people are left to their own devices when they are expected to be dominant, they don’t change. If conditions are right they might accommodate the circumstances and do something out of kindness for a while. The problem is, it is not natural for any person to do this. The would-be dominant woman may learn the technique expected of her by her relatively submissive man from various sources. She may learn the advantages to her. However, on the long run she will revert to her natural inclination. She is expected to perform in a way that is contrary to her being naturally dominant or dominant by decree. If she is dominant already, then she need not do anything that her submissive partner expects, after all, she wants to run the show as she sees fit. Yet the submissive partner truly expects certain things from her. So there is a logical contradiction in the requirements that leads to strife.
I have read many postings by men expressing their frustration about “Her not understanding the problem, therefore, not following through with the tease-and-deny”. They claim that even after a number of attempts at explanation, hints, offer of reading material, their women “just don’t get it”.
I believe that the women do get it. An intelligent woman understands this kinky submissive need very well. This is especially so after reading authoritative articles and books on it (I am not talking about reading the fantasy of some illiterate blogger). The problem is not lack of understanding, but lack of purpose. Every time she senses that her submissive man needs more tease-and-denial it is a chore for her that should not be assigned to a supposedly dominant woman. To a man expecting it, her reluctance makes no sense. After all, he is not asking for blatant sex. He is not asking for penetrating intercourse. All he is asking for is sexual domination by her and occasional release. In other words, “Here is the script, please follow it.”
It takes two to have a relationship. The submissive man’s part is passive. All he needs to do is follow her orders. The supposedly dominant woman’s part is active. Regardless of what the man thinks, the woman has the responsibility of planning the scenario, laying out the props, and then executing the scenario. She is also likely to do a self-evaluation afterward, “Is this what he expected? Did I satisfy him? How in hell can I be dominant and still do what he says or expects of me?”
Unless she gets a sexual thrill out of this blatant sexual kink of her submissive partner, or out of the power she has over him, she will not do it; at least, not for long, and not often. I coined the term “ignore and deny” by paraphrasing the tease-and-deny idea in a couple of my earlier postings. Ignore-and-deny fits very well into the behavior and expectations of a woman whether she is dominant or just playing dominant: it is much easier to maintain than tease-and-deny. If a man desiring tease-and-deny feels being ignored, she does not see it that way. She may feel that his being denied satisfies her obligations. If he tries to explain again, she will just feel guilty or angry or both, and the man will get nowhere. These men may as well get used to it.
Still, It Works In Short Spurts, Sort Of …
One might say that even in a vanilla relationship a woman will do things for her partner simply because she loves him and knows that he needs it. Yes she will do that sometimes, but not often enough. This is why many men wish to be in a female led relationship, and consequently become the object of tease-and-denial. That last wish validates his lack of adequate sexual satisfaction. If he achieves those two wishes, then the result will legitimize his not getting enough sex.
If she goes along with his need for tease-and-deny, she is doing something for him out of love. But don’t expect the whole nine yards 24/7/365. Even her parts would wear out if she tried. A somewhat reasonable alternative to tease-and-deny is offered by chastity play that comes with built-in denial. If she leaves most of the details to her man, then she need not do much, which supports both tease and the ignore version of denial. There are problems with these too, which I may cover in another post. The trouble is that practicing the mythical forced chastity will not change a thing. The long-term maintenance of this new kink is still her responsibility, and she will handle it the same way: ignore it.
This attitude by the woman is not because of the particulars of tease-and-deny and ignore-and-deny. If the man has other kinks that don’t work without her support, he is just as much up the creek without a paddle. Vanilla marriages and relationships break because of the woman’s unwillingness to support his kink. Kink needs maintenance for satisfied relationships, and maintenance is expensive in time, attention, effort, etc. That is how professional dominants make a living.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Rules of Dominance and Submission
Someone new to the D/S game will immediately be aroused on reading rules of dominance and submission as long as they are well written by his standards. For example, I have seen several contracts written mostly by would-be male submissives as to how to behave with respect to their (imaginary or real) dominatresses. However, after reading a lot, maybe even practicing the discipline, one comes up with rules that apply in his or her case, and don’t necessarily apply to another submissive or dominant. With rare exception, D/S is not a religious doctrine that must be followed by the believers regardless of their position.
I am amused when a dominant woman proudly exclaims, “My submissive male has no rights except those that I allow him. He will do no more, nor less, than I prescribe…” Similarly, a submissive male claims that he will follow his mistreatesses’ orders to the letter, he expects nothing in return but to serve her, … OK, these are hypothetical characters created from the stuff that is out there masquerading as real relationships. If you do enough reading, you will run across them.
Most of us (notice, not “all of us”) who have some obvious dominant or submissive leaning could go with the above two caricatures for a short time, say a weekend, and probably enjoy it much. Very few of us could go with the roles they described on a long-term basis. Similarly, few of us would be likely to go with them forever, unless dying on the job. That leaves most of us dominants and submissives to follow our own rules. These rules intersect with rules of others, but are by no means the same.
When a dominant says, “There is no need for me to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ when dealing with my submissive,” it is just her opinion based on her rules. When a submissive says, “My domina must tell me what I am allowed to do, how and when to do it, and punish me if I fail, and here is how she will …” he is similarly making his own rules. Some of us love these rules, others laugh at them.
If everybody followed the same strict rules, and wrote about how they live with them, there would be no interest in our reading about them. What makes reading about them interesting is how different the rules are, and how differently we react to them.
The behavior and demeanor of a dominant can range from firm but polite to sadistic and crude. When the D/S relationship is consensual, the submissive will find just the right combination offered by the dominant, and both will be happy at first. Over time they each may stretch their own and their partner’s limits. That trend is part of keeping a relationship vital and viable.
Pornographers often make the mistake of portraying dominants in a narrow stereotypical fashion, which makes their product trivial at best, annoying and offensive often. An example is a woman without redeeming features who is wielding a whip. I always say, “It’s not what you have, but what you do with it …” that counts. But, if she is unattractive, uses a nasal, whiny shrill voice, bad grammar, and badly improvised monolog while incompetently trying to impart some pain to a hapless male, the whole production is wasted. “To each his own,” to be sure, however, I have my limits. This is why I am still searching in vain for any video that would interest me to spend more than a few seconds of my time.
I don’t have rules for my own purposes, but do have preferences:
I am amused when a dominant woman proudly exclaims, “My submissive male has no rights except those that I allow him. He will do no more, nor less, than I prescribe…” Similarly, a submissive male claims that he will follow his mistreatesses’ orders to the letter, he expects nothing in return but to serve her, … OK, these are hypothetical characters created from the stuff that is out there masquerading as real relationships. If you do enough reading, you will run across them.
Most of us (notice, not “all of us”) who have some obvious dominant or submissive leaning could go with the above two caricatures for a short time, say a weekend, and probably enjoy it much. Very few of us could go with the roles they described on a long-term basis. Similarly, few of us would be likely to go with them forever, unless dying on the job. That leaves most of us dominants and submissives to follow our own rules. These rules intersect with rules of others, but are by no means the same.
When a dominant says, “There is no need for me to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ when dealing with my submissive,” it is just her opinion based on her rules. When a submissive says, “My domina must tell me what I am allowed to do, how and when to do it, and punish me if I fail, and here is how she will …” he is similarly making his own rules. Some of us love these rules, others laugh at them.
If everybody followed the same strict rules, and wrote about how they live with them, there would be no interest in our reading about them. What makes reading about them interesting is how different the rules are, and how differently we react to them.
The behavior and demeanor of a dominant can range from firm but polite to sadistic and crude. When the D/S relationship is consensual, the submissive will find just the right combination offered by the dominant, and both will be happy at first. Over time they each may stretch their own and their partner’s limits. That trend is part of keeping a relationship vital and viable.
Pornographers often make the mistake of portraying dominants in a narrow stereotypical fashion, which makes their product trivial at best, annoying and offensive often. An example is a woman without redeeming features who is wielding a whip. I always say, “It’s not what you have, but what you do with it …” that counts. But, if she is unattractive, uses a nasal, whiny shrill voice, bad grammar, and badly improvised monolog while incompetently trying to impart some pain to a hapless male, the whole production is wasted. “To each his own,” to be sure, however, I have my limits. This is why I am still searching in vain for any video that would interest me to spend more than a few seconds of my time.
I don’t have rules for my own purposes, but do have preferences:
- I like a dominant woman who does not feel the need to scream or to use profanity.
- I like a dominant woman who knows what she wants and knows how to take it.
- I like a dominant woman who does not mind causing pain for her submissive, but knows her and his limits. I don’t believe in using “safe words”. To me “yes” means yes, and “no” means no, and so it should be for her.
- I like a dominant woman who is polite and caring while she can be strict and firm to any extent.
- I like a dominant woman who can impart pleasure as readily as pain to her submissive. She knows just the right amount to satisfy herself.
- I like a dominant woman who can give me instruction to the extent that I need them to accomplish my task, thereby assume that I am intelligent.
Note that none of the above precludes role-playing, or prescribes what she or I can do. I have preferences, but the scenario is hers to plan and to execute. Her looks, age, size, shape, and weight are not prescribed either. What she wears, what she says, what she uses is up to her. She can be totally her sweet self or a dominating bitch anywhere any time. She can be vanilla but with an edge that tells me that as sweet as she is, she is still in charge. She can show me off as her submissive, or play with the straights and pretend that I am in charge. As long as she is clean and healthy I am all hers.
Of course, all this is moot, since I am not in a position to be looking for a dominant woman of my dreams: I am married to MW for life.
As a support to my treatise I am posting a poll on the subject, titled, “What Kind of D/S Do You Prefer?” If you are a switch you can answer both sets of questions. There are two categories: dominance and demeanor. Although they can overlap, they describe different traits.
If you are dominant, which of the following dominance and demeanor traits fit you best? Pick one in each category.
- Caring, firm, demanding, abusive, sadistic
- Polite, civil, careless, rude, crude on purpose
If you are submissive, which kind of dominant do you prefer? Pick one in each category.
- Caring, firm, demanding, abusive, sadistic
- Polite, civil, careless, rude, crude on purpose
Due to the limited space and capability of the polling tool provided by my blogger ISP, the new poll on the right is slightly different, but still workable.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Why Do Some Men Crave Forced Chastity?
Before I get into the subject I want to cover I have some questions. I am using Google Blogger to present and publish my blog. For a couple of weeks now the disclaimer page that warns users of the potentially sexual content of the blog shows up in German instead of English. I have not done anything on purpose to cause this. The Google support is inaccessible, so there is nobody to ask. Does anyone know why this changed from English to German? Does anyone know how to change it back?
From Horny Males to Horny Men
If men are getting all the sex that they need, chastity does not enter their mind. Most males don’t get enough, so in a way that is like chastity. Chastity can be imposed by self, by circumstances, or by another person.
Self-imposed chastity is a weird state of mind for little benefit or lack of good reason. I am sure that there are still religious and mystical reasons for it, but that is not the subject of this post.
Chastity imposed by circumstances is the most common. This is the reality when he would have sex, or at least his preferred way of sex, if he could meet the needs of the situation, which ranges from unlikely to impossible. Think of being marooned alone on a desert island, being in prison, or in some kind of medical condition that is not conducive to sex as he prefers it. There are many of us who go through this from time to time even without the above mentioned extreme circumstances. Prolonged illness, illness of a partner, shyness, being involved with some serious projects tend to limit access to preferred sex. Generally these are temporary, so a better word for it would be celibacy rather than chastity. However, the result is the same: he is not getting any.
The third reason for chastity is imposed by another person. This is rare, and in today’s civilized society makes little sense except for children and kinky adult play. Zeroing in on the most fun reason, that is kinky adult play, brings us to the subject suggested by the title of this post.
The horny state of a male is nature’s way to provide for females to become impregnated and thereby produce enough offsprings to ensure the survival of the species. Don’t blame this on men. The reason is much deeper than that: evolution presses on the viable. Those who are not horny die without viable offsprings. Of course, with today’s technology that is not necessarily a vital issue. The non-viable survive, and propagate to produce more non-viable offsprings, thereby ensuring reliance on science to survive. Then, when science fails, survival fails, and the rats will inherit Earth.
Narrowing “male“ to “man”, and his needs, one must admit that homo sapiens has come a long way to differentiate between ordinary rut and somewhat civilized satisfaction of the sexual urges. Aside from hunting and gathering to support the subsequent issues, there are social, moral, and financial implications of inserting a penis into a vagina.
In the last few decades of Western society any pimple-faced adolescent male became able to get satisfaction. When he wants oral, vaginal, or anal sex, a liberated female of whatever age will provide it. It is no longer a matter of “saving it for my love” issue. It has become “a moment satisfaction” goal. Sex is there for the taking.
In the rare case when the female refuses vaginal sex the man involved pursues his goal as he was programmed to do by a million years of evolution. He tries, he fails to succeed, he masturbates, and then he tries again. Over time he learns that deprivation of female approved sex has left him with wanting. Self-gratification works for the short term, but is much less satisfactory than being involved with a partner to provide true satisfaction. The external control is missing. She has to provide the challenge, the fangs, the claws, the software, the pheromones, in order to be fulfilled his attempt. Without these pleasure enhancers it is like … you know, self-gratification.
The average male, assuming some intelligence above the level of apes, makes a connection between self-imposed celibacy and enforced chastity. He is single or being without a partner to satisfy his urges. Even with a partner, he is missing the frequency that ranges from rare to never. The bottom line is, he is not getting enough. He thinks back to his teen-age years of wondering about things and having nothing but manual stimulation by his dominant hand, he realizes that things are not any better some years into his chronological adulthood.
Where Does He Get the Idea?
He has read pornography to learn the ways and means and to stimulate his urges. He knows that there are other ways than the dominant hand. He fantasizes and reads blogs and forums on subjects that relate to his need. He runs into the realm of chastity. Suddenly he is into hog heaven. He reads and responds to men of similar yearnings and experiences. He is horny. His sexual satisfaction graph is characterized by a flat line with occasional blips due to the dominant hand. He yearns for someone to do it to him in just about any way known to men. Even though the means are available by social intercourse, he is too shy, too ugly, too timid, or too busy to cash in on them. Then again, he may be in a relationship that has gone useless as far as mutual sex is concerned.
Mechanical Chastity
In his reading of the Internet he has run across ways of accomplishing this. Most prominent is the chastity fantasy where a key holder controls his frequency of sexual pleasure. He invests in some form of chastity device, installs it furtively on his parts, and gets a kick out of the experience. He tries to hide it from his partner until or when he figures out what might work with her. He runs into the same problems as legitimately chastised males: physical and physiological problems with the nasty device he is trying, and getting his partner interested if it works for him. He wastes more money going through the various devices and ways of acclimating himself to them. If he has a partner who does not know what he is doing, he has the problem of hiding his fetish. If his partner is aware but not willing, he needs to convince her that it would be in her interest. He thinks, “I’m not getting any because my partner isn’t interested. What if I could get her interested in denying my pleasure at her pleasure? At least I would have a reason to justify my being celibate? She could ignore me with a purpose! I would be in enforced chastity!”
Meanwhile, in spite of the problems with the device he is somewhat turned on for the nonce. It is no worse than having no experience in the real, but at as long as he is not getting any real sex, he can fantasize that he is being under chastity. It remains a thrill for a while. Then it wears off, and he releases himself. As pleasurable as the release was, he feels like a failure afterward. He is back to where he was before he first put on the first device: no sex. Is he going to re-install the chastity device? Will he wait a day or so before doing so? Will he think that next time will be better?
I am a man, so I don’t know for sure whether there are women who enjoy applying some form of chastity to their men for any reason even though this is the most coveted position by the men who want to be put into chastity. After some years of research and reading of blogs I have concluded that these women, if they exist, are rare. Men or men masquerading as women write most blogs and forum posts along these lines.
I feel that some women would prefer to keep their man’s pecker locked as a matter of convenience to them! As a result they would not have to deal with sloppy spills, grunting sweaty and prickly male bodies, and of course, pregnancy and the ensuing little rug rats. She could avoid doing some unpleasant work in exchange for satisfying a man’s weird needs.
Still, a majority of women like men, love to have sex with men, and are willing to put up with some inconvenience for the pleasure, safety, and comfort they receive as a partner. Then there are women who take the more positive approach of arranging all this for themselves, and the men in their relationship are in hog heaven. Then there is the rest …
Chastity Imposed on a Man
Putting a man into chastity is at the man’s discretion on the large. But why would he choose that? I think I know the reasons. The common denominator is that he is already not getting any or enough sex, so being put into chastity would not change that. His partner, who would or could otherwise provide his needed releases, is not doing it. What if he were to introduce her to this fetish? What if she takes it as a convenient out of dealing with his hornyness? He won’t be getting less sex, but at least he could rationalize that he is in the hands of a female who decides his pleasure, therefore it is beyond his control. He would still be getting nothing, but it would at least be because a woman decided so. The big difference is the external control.
Being Under Her Sexual Control
The problem is that the woman who does not want sex, or does not want it often, is the same woman who does not want to deal with the detailed fantasy of the man who started this process. Does she want to install the device on him? Does she want to release him for maintenance and cleaning? Does she want to prescribe when, where, how, and how frequently he should orgasm? Does she want to deal with this kinky pseudo sex just to avoid the real thing? Well, to some degree, some women do. But mostly, it is just a male rationalization of why he is not getting any sex. If, in addition, the man remains horny and is willing to do any kind of sex or lack of sex with her, then she is where she prefers to be. She has nothing to lose, and he is happy deluding himself thinking that she is controlling him. Of courses, when he becomes dissatisfied, the game is over. Who is really in control?
On the other hand, being in constant hog heaven on the short term is not that bad. One always hopes that the key holder will take our fantasy seriously enough to play along for a long time, and once in a while up the ante – so to speak. Any pleasure she allows on the side is a gift from her, any pain we suffer is a gift to her. We give up control in exchange for being taken care of. As long as she plays our game we are thankfully in it. Where is the harm?
From Horny Males to Horny Men
If men are getting all the sex that they need, chastity does not enter their mind. Most males don’t get enough, so in a way that is like chastity. Chastity can be imposed by self, by circumstances, or by another person.
Self-imposed chastity is a weird state of mind for little benefit or lack of good reason. I am sure that there are still religious and mystical reasons for it, but that is not the subject of this post.
Chastity imposed by circumstances is the most common. This is the reality when he would have sex, or at least his preferred way of sex, if he could meet the needs of the situation, which ranges from unlikely to impossible. Think of being marooned alone on a desert island, being in prison, or in some kind of medical condition that is not conducive to sex as he prefers it. There are many of us who go through this from time to time even without the above mentioned extreme circumstances. Prolonged illness, illness of a partner, shyness, being involved with some serious projects tend to limit access to preferred sex. Generally these are temporary, so a better word for it would be celibacy rather than chastity. However, the result is the same: he is not getting any.
The third reason for chastity is imposed by another person. This is rare, and in today’s civilized society makes little sense except for children and kinky adult play. Zeroing in on the most fun reason, that is kinky adult play, brings us to the subject suggested by the title of this post.
The horny state of a male is nature’s way to provide for females to become impregnated and thereby produce enough offsprings to ensure the survival of the species. Don’t blame this on men. The reason is much deeper than that: evolution presses on the viable. Those who are not horny die without viable offsprings. Of course, with today’s technology that is not necessarily a vital issue. The non-viable survive, and propagate to produce more non-viable offsprings, thereby ensuring reliance on science to survive. Then, when science fails, survival fails, and the rats will inherit Earth.
Narrowing “male“ to “man”, and his needs, one must admit that homo sapiens has come a long way to differentiate between ordinary rut and somewhat civilized satisfaction of the sexual urges. Aside from hunting and gathering to support the subsequent issues, there are social, moral, and financial implications of inserting a penis into a vagina.
In the last few decades of Western society any pimple-faced adolescent male became able to get satisfaction. When he wants oral, vaginal, or anal sex, a liberated female of whatever age will provide it. It is no longer a matter of “saving it for my love” issue. It has become “a moment satisfaction” goal. Sex is there for the taking.
In the rare case when the female refuses vaginal sex the man involved pursues his goal as he was programmed to do by a million years of evolution. He tries, he fails to succeed, he masturbates, and then he tries again. Over time he learns that deprivation of female approved sex has left him with wanting. Self-gratification works for the short term, but is much less satisfactory than being involved with a partner to provide true satisfaction. The external control is missing. She has to provide the challenge, the fangs, the claws, the software, the pheromones, in order to be fulfilled his attempt. Without these pleasure enhancers it is like … you know, self-gratification.
The average male, assuming some intelligence above the level of apes, makes a connection between self-imposed celibacy and enforced chastity. He is single or being without a partner to satisfy his urges. Even with a partner, he is missing the frequency that ranges from rare to never. The bottom line is, he is not getting enough. He thinks back to his teen-age years of wondering about things and having nothing but manual stimulation by his dominant hand, he realizes that things are not any better some years into his chronological adulthood.
Where Does He Get the Idea?
He has read pornography to learn the ways and means and to stimulate his urges. He knows that there are other ways than the dominant hand. He fantasizes and reads blogs and forums on subjects that relate to his need. He runs into the realm of chastity. Suddenly he is into hog heaven. He reads and responds to men of similar yearnings and experiences. He is horny. His sexual satisfaction graph is characterized by a flat line with occasional blips due to the dominant hand. He yearns for someone to do it to him in just about any way known to men. Even though the means are available by social intercourse, he is too shy, too ugly, too timid, or too busy to cash in on them. Then again, he may be in a relationship that has gone useless as far as mutual sex is concerned.
Mechanical Chastity
In his reading of the Internet he has run across ways of accomplishing this. Most prominent is the chastity fantasy where a key holder controls his frequency of sexual pleasure. He invests in some form of chastity device, installs it furtively on his parts, and gets a kick out of the experience. He tries to hide it from his partner until or when he figures out what might work with her. He runs into the same problems as legitimately chastised males: physical and physiological problems with the nasty device he is trying, and getting his partner interested if it works for him. He wastes more money going through the various devices and ways of acclimating himself to them. If he has a partner who does not know what he is doing, he has the problem of hiding his fetish. If his partner is aware but not willing, he needs to convince her that it would be in her interest. He thinks, “I’m not getting any because my partner isn’t interested. What if I could get her interested in denying my pleasure at her pleasure? At least I would have a reason to justify my being celibate? She could ignore me with a purpose! I would be in enforced chastity!”
Meanwhile, in spite of the problems with the device he is somewhat turned on for the nonce. It is no worse than having no experience in the real, but at as long as he is not getting any real sex, he can fantasize that he is being under chastity. It remains a thrill for a while. Then it wears off, and he releases himself. As pleasurable as the release was, he feels like a failure afterward. He is back to where he was before he first put on the first device: no sex. Is he going to re-install the chastity device? Will he wait a day or so before doing so? Will he think that next time will be better?
I am a man, so I don’t know for sure whether there are women who enjoy applying some form of chastity to their men for any reason even though this is the most coveted position by the men who want to be put into chastity. After some years of research and reading of blogs I have concluded that these women, if they exist, are rare. Men or men masquerading as women write most blogs and forum posts along these lines.
I feel that some women would prefer to keep their man’s pecker locked as a matter of convenience to them! As a result they would not have to deal with sloppy spills, grunting sweaty and prickly male bodies, and of course, pregnancy and the ensuing little rug rats. She could avoid doing some unpleasant work in exchange for satisfying a man’s weird needs.
Still, a majority of women like men, love to have sex with men, and are willing to put up with some inconvenience for the pleasure, safety, and comfort they receive as a partner. Then there are women who take the more positive approach of arranging all this for themselves, and the men in their relationship are in hog heaven. Then there is the rest …
Chastity Imposed on a Man
Putting a man into chastity is at the man’s discretion on the large. But why would he choose that? I think I know the reasons. The common denominator is that he is already not getting any or enough sex, so being put into chastity would not change that. His partner, who would or could otherwise provide his needed releases, is not doing it. What if he were to introduce her to this fetish? What if she takes it as a convenient out of dealing with his hornyness? He won’t be getting less sex, but at least he could rationalize that he is in the hands of a female who decides his pleasure, therefore it is beyond his control. He would still be getting nothing, but it would at least be because a woman decided so. The big difference is the external control.
Being Under Her Sexual Control
The problem is that the woman who does not want sex, or does not want it often, is the same woman who does not want to deal with the detailed fantasy of the man who started this process. Does she want to install the device on him? Does she want to release him for maintenance and cleaning? Does she want to prescribe when, where, how, and how frequently he should orgasm? Does she want to deal with this kinky pseudo sex just to avoid the real thing? Well, to some degree, some women do. But mostly, it is just a male rationalization of why he is not getting any sex. If, in addition, the man remains horny and is willing to do any kind of sex or lack of sex with her, then she is where she prefers to be. She has nothing to lose, and he is happy deluding himself thinking that she is controlling him. Of courses, when he becomes dissatisfied, the game is over. Who is really in control?
On the other hand, being in constant hog heaven on the short term is not that bad. One always hopes that the key holder will take our fantasy seriously enough to play along for a long time, and once in a while up the ante – so to speak. Any pleasure she allows on the side is a gift from her, any pain we suffer is a gift to her. We give up control in exchange for being taken care of. As long as she plays our game we are thankfully in it. Where is the harm?
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Why Spill It?
I have dealt with this issue of Cum Shots before, but there has been no resolution. A few comments may have been revealing, but they were not enough to satisfy my need for an answer.
Regardless of the outcome, it is a man spilling his load by using his own hand is self-masturbation. This is as opposed to almost any kind of copulation or manual or oral manipulation by a partner or partners. Why would any man want to masturbate when he has a partner in sex?
Think about the words and phrases in italics above. “Outcome” is obvious: fluid produced by orgasm. “Spilling his load” is the typical in-your-face production of the male ejaculate onto some surface that is to be documented that it is really happening as if it were something virtuous. “Self-masturbation” is also obvious. He can do it without a partner. So, why involve a partner. Having a partner why not participate in some mutual satisfaction and skip the always available but less fulfilling self-gratification?
For a long time I have been looking for a video that would attract my attention and at least give me a rise. Alas, the only thing out there is whipping, cock and ball torture, and gratuitous fuck and suck. All involve so called professionals, most of whom are as believable as puppets, and as attractive as stick figures. From time to time there is ad-libbed acting on a third grade level but using profanities that somehow don’t fit. Oh, there is different genre, such as B/D, C&B torture, femdom, cuckolding, etc., but it is hard to tell where some of these begin or end, worse yet, who cares?
Getting back to my peeve of the day, I ask, “Why would a man work himself into a throe of passion with a willing partner, withdraw all stimulation at a crucial moment, and spill his juices on someone’s skin? Is that some sort of weird self-gratification? Is that the ultimate thrill? Which one of the participants gets joy out of it? How?
Regardless of the outcome, it is a man spilling his load by using his own hand is self-masturbation. This is as opposed to almost any kind of copulation or manual or oral manipulation by a partner or partners. Why would any man want to masturbate when he has a partner in sex?
Think about the words and phrases in italics above. “Outcome” is obvious: fluid produced by orgasm. “Spilling his load” is the typical in-your-face production of the male ejaculate onto some surface that is to be documented that it is really happening as if it were something virtuous. “Self-masturbation” is also obvious. He can do it without a partner. So, why involve a partner. Having a partner why not participate in some mutual satisfaction and skip the always available but less fulfilling self-gratification?
For a long time I have been looking for a video that would attract my attention and at least give me a rise. Alas, the only thing out there is whipping, cock and ball torture, and gratuitous fuck and suck. All involve so called professionals, most of whom are as believable as puppets, and as attractive as stick figures. From time to time there is ad-libbed acting on a third grade level but using profanities that somehow don’t fit. Oh, there is different genre, such as B/D, C&B torture, femdom, cuckolding, etc., but it is hard to tell where some of these begin or end, worse yet, who cares?
Getting back to my peeve of the day, I ask, “Why would a man work himself into a throe of passion with a willing partner, withdraw all stimulation at a crucial moment, and spill his juices on someone’s skin? Is that some sort of weird self-gratification? Is that the ultimate thrill? Which one of the participants gets joy out of it? How?
I have had intercourse, and I can tell you with firm conviction: I definitely do not want to interrupt at the point of orgasm, for doing so would be what is called in some segment of strict femdom “ruined orgasm”. As long as ruining the orgasm is the goal, I can see the point. Otherwise I don’t. Going a bit further one could assume that after withdrawing the man can grasp the situation and complete it using his hand. Sure, that would work. But why do it? If masturbation was the goal, why go to the trouble of involving another human or having it recorded? See the picture that I purloined from some source that is not notable. The female in the foreground looks somewhat bemused but not happy or appreciative. I share her sentiment. Who is going to clean up the mess, and why would she be asked, if indeed she was, to provide the canvas for this idiocy?
The next picture is more pathetic and disturbing. I could hit the man in the face and tell him to never come back, which is expressing my thoughts mildly. I could be interpreting the scene wrong, nevertheless, it is somehow inappropriate. She appears as if she had been coerced to participate in this ignominy. I could be with this beautiful woman and give her love and pleasure, and never even ask her to do this. Damn, some men are really asking to be punished for this, and not in a nice way.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Brand of Ownership
MW has been hinting of doing some branding of my anatomy. For those of you faint of heart I say, “Relax, it’s not like in the old West: Yanking a branding iron out of a fire and searing my skin while three robust cowhands hold me naked to the ground with my ass pointed at the stars.” This is much more civilized. For one thing, the cowhands would not be employed; neither of us are that much into multiplesomes, although I could be persuaded. MW knows how to make sure that I offer no resistance. Even though it would be between her and me, she needs no assistance other than perhaps one of her friends using the camera. The other thing is, the deed would be done in the confines of our home, and probably using propane-torch heated branding irons. As for the stars, well, it may be done outdoors … who knows?
Several years ago she had decided to mark my ass as her personal property. She then toyed with the ideas of tattooing and branding. She chose tattooing with a twist: she carved the initial of her first name into my lily-white skin with a sharp knife, and then rubbed ink into the scar to make it a tattoo. The combination worked. I had a period of healing after which her mark was there for all to see. Alas, as the years passed, the ink faded. The not-so-deep scar of the carving is now barely visible. Then about three years ago se re-carved the initial and left it just what it was: a thin scar to mark her ownership. But, as time went, and is still ticking, the scar diminishes. I guess it was not deep or wide enough.
She is now planning a proper branding using something hot. I am not sure that she will really do it. She tends to be squeamish about that much potential pain applied to me even though she knows I can take it. I rather wish that she would do it. Any attention from her is welcome. You will be the second to know when it does take place.
Several years ago she had decided to mark my ass as her personal property. She then toyed with the ideas of tattooing and branding. She chose tattooing with a twist: she carved the initial of her first name into my lily-white skin with a sharp knife, and then rubbed ink into the scar to make it a tattoo. The combination worked. I had a period of healing after which her mark was there for all to see. Alas, as the years passed, the ink faded. The not-so-deep scar of the carving is now barely visible. Then about three years ago se re-carved the initial and left it just what it was: a thin scar to mark her ownership. But, as time went, and is still ticking, the scar diminishes. I guess it was not deep or wide enough.
She is now planning a proper branding using something hot. I am not sure that she will really do it. She tends to be squeamish about that much potential pain applied to me even though she knows I can take it. I rather wish that she would do it. Any attention from her is welcome. You will be the second to know when it does take place.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Panties: Do They Define the Power or the Lack of Power in a Relationship?
Written by “The Great Dis-Illusonist”, AKA "Susans’s Pet".
I get confused while reading some of this material. For example, from a fine blog with well-written posts, skipping any reference to identification on purpose, I quote this:
Here is another excerpt from a comment to a blog, I will skip the identity to protect the confused:
OK, let’s back off and try to understand the terms. Apparently being “her” is demeaningly feminine, a role assigned to a male who is not worthy of being “him” or masculine, or to have any thoughts of being in charge of himself. He is a mere pseudo-female who is waiting to be told what underwear to put on. Keeping in mind that this is being said by a woman, one wonders what that woman is or wants to be. If her lesser male person is in a demeaning female role, then what is she? Is she a “male” because she is stronger and more dominant? But no, she is physiologically in possession of genuine female parts, so she can’t be male. Nevertheless, male traits are strength and dominance which she is trying to assume or demonstrate. So is she a strong male, or a weak female? Or is she a weak male or strong female?
Are we assuming here that being strong and in charge implies being a male? But that can’t be! She is female and strong and in charge already. And her submissive male, strong by reference to gender, is wearing panties and bras, therefore weak.
Can you see why I am confused by the conflicting descriptions of who is what and what roles or underwear they are expected to fill? I don’t have a problem with this particular blog or what is written therein. It is typical of much out there. People playing games lose track of logic and reason, and rely on flowery rhetoric to present their case whether real or imaginary. However, I have some questions.
Does wearing panties and bras make a person a “sissy”, or is it a coveted position by mere males trying to become powerful females or weak females?
Does a woman in charge not wear panties and bras, but wears jock straps and cheesy Jockey shorts just to be considered in charge?
Does being a “just a housewife” while also being male and doing housework make this person “just a weak female”? Should he wear panties and bras to fit the role else he is not being really submissive?
Does being a strong woman and dominant in a relationship make her masculine?
Does being a female dominant make her so man-like that her submissive male “house-husband” should dress like the traditional weak female and she stomp around in boots and leather?
None of these questions are expected to get logical answers. Even though they are based on what I have read in some of Female Led Relationships, there is no logic to support any of the underlying scenarios. Actually, I don't think that any of this stuff has to do with FLR, rather, it is just ordinary kink like you and I play from time to time.
I think what is going on is a lot of great role playing that ranges from occasional bedroom scenarios to full time dominance and submission. The rules are defined by the participants, change with the season and change with the shedding and acquisition of partners. They seldom apply to you and me, at least not on the long term. It is kind of like watching an erotic D/S video where the participants are only somewhat believable. One might say, “Yeah, I could do that for a week-end!” Regardless of the impracticality of the props, the setup, the costumes, the skill of the people involved, as long as we get a thrill out of some aspect of the situation, we can say that. We also admit that there is no way we would enter a long-term relationship under those conditions.
Since panties define the roles, we have no idea who really should wear panties and for what reason. "Being in the script" is not really authoritative, since any of us could be writing it just for fun, or to dupe the gullible connoisseur.
I am still waiting for a rational logical treatise on this. Fantasy: there is neither reason nor limit.
I get confused while reading some of this material. For example, from a fine blog with well-written posts, skipping any reference to identification on purpose, I quote this:
“After really thinking about it, I decided that I would just reinforce our relationship and tell her what our plans were, and what I expected from her. I did that this morning as I was getting ready to head to the office. To set the tone, I laid out the bra and panty set I wanted her to wear today. When I do that, she gets the idea that I am in one of my more controlling and dominating moods.”One would expect that this was written by a man who dominated his female subject to the point of dictating what underwear to sport. Nay, the words are written by a woman. When she says “her” she means her male sissy person. She says, “To set the tone, I laid out the bra and panty set I wanted her to wear today.”
Here is another excerpt from a comment to a blog, I will skip the identity to protect the confused:
“There is nothing like watching your smooth sissy in her first bra and pantie[sic] set. I loved watching my cock enter sissies[sic] pussy. I swear if I kept fucking her she was going to cum too.”If you have not guessed it, this too, was written by a woman. She “loved watching her cock enter sissies pussy”. Just who has what kind of anatomy here?
OK, let’s back off and try to understand the terms. Apparently being “her” is demeaningly feminine, a role assigned to a male who is not worthy of being “him” or masculine, or to have any thoughts of being in charge of himself. He is a mere pseudo-female who is waiting to be told what underwear to put on. Keeping in mind that this is being said by a woman, one wonders what that woman is or wants to be. If her lesser male person is in a demeaning female role, then what is she? Is she a “male” because she is stronger and more dominant? But no, she is physiologically in possession of genuine female parts, so she can’t be male. Nevertheless, male traits are strength and dominance which she is trying to assume or demonstrate. So is she a strong male, or a weak female? Or is she a weak male or strong female?
Are we assuming here that being strong and in charge implies being a male? But that can’t be! She is female and strong and in charge already. And her submissive male, strong by reference to gender, is wearing panties and bras, therefore weak.
Can you see why I am confused by the conflicting descriptions of who is what and what roles or underwear they are expected to fill? I don’t have a problem with this particular blog or what is written therein. It is typical of much out there. People playing games lose track of logic and reason, and rely on flowery rhetoric to present their case whether real or imaginary. However, I have some questions.
Does wearing panties and bras make a person a “sissy”, or is it a coveted position by mere males trying to become powerful females or weak females?
Does a woman in charge not wear panties and bras, but wears jock straps and cheesy Jockey shorts just to be considered in charge?
Does being a “just a housewife” while also being male and doing housework make this person “just a weak female”? Should he wear panties and bras to fit the role else he is not being really submissive?
Does being a strong woman and dominant in a relationship make her masculine?
Does being a female dominant make her so man-like that her submissive male “house-husband” should dress like the traditional weak female and she stomp around in boots and leather?
None of these questions are expected to get logical answers. Even though they are based on what I have read in some of Female Led Relationships, there is no logic to support any of the underlying scenarios. Actually, I don't think that any of this stuff has to do with FLR, rather, it is just ordinary kink like you and I play from time to time.
I think what is going on is a lot of great role playing that ranges from occasional bedroom scenarios to full time dominance and submission. The rules are defined by the participants, change with the season and change with the shedding and acquisition of partners. They seldom apply to you and me, at least not on the long term. It is kind of like watching an erotic D/S video where the participants are only somewhat believable. One might say, “Yeah, I could do that for a week-end!” Regardless of the impracticality of the props, the setup, the costumes, the skill of the people involved, as long as we get a thrill out of some aspect of the situation, we can say that. We also admit that there is no way we would enter a long-term relationship under those conditions.
Since panties define the roles, we have no idea who really should wear panties and for what reason. "Being in the script" is not really authoritative, since any of us could be writing it just for fun, or to dupe the gullible connoisseur.
I am still waiting for a rational logical treatise on this. Fantasy: there is neither reason nor limit.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Those Were the Days ...
My Patriotic Friend is going down a path that I know I will take. He has been my mentor and confidante, a few years ahead of me in most respects. A while ago he was sharing his thoughts with me over some fine wine. The occasion was a one-year remembrance of something he had valued and then lost. He said,
He paused for effect and a sip of wine, then continued,
As usual I made a note of his statement knowing that some day I will remember it just so.
Life has not been easy, but in general, good for me. I have had many good things going and I am content. I did give thanks occasionally, but I was also cocky. I seldom gave an explicit thought that some of these good things would stop suddenly.
Then it happened. Two very much appreciated aspects of my life came to an end. One was taken from me, the other I chose to give up for a good reason. The first happened about two years ago, the second a few months back.
As I learned growing up in a hostile environment, “Once you leave, you can never go home.” You may revisit, but it won’t be the same. What you lose or give up can never be retrieved. Life goes on, but along different paths.
I know I am an ingrate when it comes to the appreciation of the good things in my life. I can cite several specific instances when I should have done better. Yet, I am unsure whether I would be better off if I had been explicitly grateful for those gifts from the gods. One thing is certain: it hurts to know that I could have shared or given more, and yet I did not, and now it is too late.
A pleasant but rather sad song by Mary Hopkins from the sixties has the following passage that describes this:
The really bad part of this is that when things are going well we don’t know or realize that this may be the last time the good thing happens. This may be the last week or last day of our grace. This may be the last gift from the gods. A few days go by without worry, for we are ingrates. Then doubt sets in. Then after a while the realization that it is over. If we could go back to that lest episode! If we could go back to that last day! Maybe we could have and would have done something different. Or at least enjoy it more knowing that it was the last time. But we did not know until later. And here we are.
The truth is, we are an instrument of our destiny. Occasionally we are carried along by its stream, but invariably we have a decision that will change and determine our future based on what we do or fail to do. As in the song, Careless Whisper, “… there's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find …“ What next?
“We tend to forget the original thrill of it, that first-time experience when we thought it was a gift from the gods, and we didn’t deserve it.”
He paused for effect and a sip of wine, then continued,
“We went along exploring it, finding new ways to enjoy it for a while. Then over the repeated occurrence of this gift to us we at first began to expect it. Later we became accustomed to the joy of it so much that after a while it seemed ordinary. It was like our daily bread: we no longer thought of it as a gift from the gods, rather, as something due us. All was well.
“Then at some point we realized that this continual gift that we grew to expect was no longer forthcoming. It is as if the gods knew all along of us being ingrates, and decided to bluntly remind us.”
Life has not been easy, but in general, good for me. I have had many good things going and I am content. I did give thanks occasionally, but I was also cocky. I seldom gave an explicit thought that some of these good things would stop suddenly.
Then it happened. Two very much appreciated aspects of my life came to an end. One was taken from me, the other I chose to give up for a good reason. The first happened about two years ago, the second a few months back.
As I learned growing up in a hostile environment, “Once you leave, you can never go home.” You may revisit, but it won’t be the same. What you lose or give up can never be retrieved. Life goes on, but along different paths.
I know I am an ingrate when it comes to the appreciation of the good things in my life. I can cite several specific instances when I should have done better. Yet, I am unsure whether I would be better off if I had been explicitly grateful for those gifts from the gods. One thing is certain: it hurts to know that I could have shared or given more, and yet I did not, and now it is too late.
A pleasant but rather sad song by Mary Hopkins from the sixties has the following passage that describes this:
Those were the days my friendThat is the “before” part. Then after the realization of our loss,
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way…
… Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely person really me …
… Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same …
The really bad part of this is that when things are going well we don’t know or realize that this may be the last time the good thing happens. This may be the last week or last day of our grace. This may be the last gift from the gods. A few days go by without worry, for we are ingrates. Then doubt sets in. Then after a while the realization that it is over. If we could go back to that lest episode! If we could go back to that last day! Maybe we could have and would have done something different. Or at least enjoy it more knowing that it was the last time. But we did not know until later. And here we are.
The truth is, we are an instrument of our destiny. Occasionally we are carried along by its stream, but invariably we have a decision that will change and determine our future based on what we do or fail to do. As in the song, Careless Whisper, “… there's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find …“ What next?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Slave Versus Sex Slave
Men claim to want to be slaves to women. I truly understand their need, and I am among them. I want to be a slave to a woman. The problem is when, after cleaning toilets, vacuuming floor, picking up kitty and doggie poop, we run out of kinky stuff. The woman to whom we wish to be a slave is sipping her beverage watching some mindless TV show ignores us and we are bored. We just spent a day on drudgery, and there is no hint or promise of sexual joy.
That is slavery.
Sex slavery is different. You are called upon your favorite kink to do or not do whatever you like. If you like chastity, you are prevented from orgasming. If you like sexuality or homosexuality, you are prevented from all that or forced to do it. You are put into a scenario that enhances your needs and either helps or prevents you from achieving them.
The question is, “Who is going to do that for you and why?” Is she or he doing it to satisfy your kinky sexual needs, or to satisfy his or her kinky sexual needs?
Few men as highly sexed as I would refuse to be a sex slave at least from time to time. After a day or so of getting over the result of masturbation we all are ready to serve a woman, or even a man, to any extent. The more kinky it is, the more we are ready. Then we orgasm, and the urge is reset. A never-ending cycle.
Hell, when I am horny I am willing to suck a dick. Then I get my things off, and dismiss it as some frigging homosexual fantasy, whatever. About the woman, I could still do it but not being fully compliant with the implications as in her being in estrus. So, when in the sex slave mode, I am willing to do almost anything. Well, maybe. I look at a woman and say, I could be her slave. But the thing is, being a slave is more demanding than my idea of being a sex slave when I am horny. I don’t really know what a slave would be unless I were to get into lawyesrism. I know damn well what being a sex slave is: to serve her sexually no matter the circumstances. But whoa! That is a wide open mine field to tread Yes, I am ready, but not after I have just orgasmed.
I hate to be so fickle. I would love to have MW hold me to my promise to do … you know, all that stuff. That is, until I orgasm. Then it is different.
Would somebody please take control of my brain and say, “Having just orgasmed has nothing to do with how you feel. This is what you will do, and you have nothing to say about it.” That is how I feel in general except after you-know-what.
That is slavery.
Sex slavery is different. You are called upon your favorite kink to do or not do whatever you like. If you like chastity, you are prevented from orgasming. If you like sexuality or homosexuality, you are prevented from all that or forced to do it. You are put into a scenario that enhances your needs and either helps or prevents you from achieving them.
The question is, “Who is going to do that for you and why?” Is she or he doing it to satisfy your kinky sexual needs, or to satisfy his or her kinky sexual needs?
Few men as highly sexed as I would refuse to be a sex slave at least from time to time. After a day or so of getting over the result of masturbation we all are ready to serve a woman, or even a man, to any extent. The more kinky it is, the more we are ready. Then we orgasm, and the urge is reset. A never-ending cycle.
Hell, when I am horny I am willing to suck a dick. Then I get my things off, and dismiss it as some frigging homosexual fantasy, whatever. About the woman, I could still do it but not being fully compliant with the implications as in her being in estrus. So, when in the sex slave mode, I am willing to do almost anything. Well, maybe. I look at a woman and say, I could be her slave. But the thing is, being a slave is more demanding than my idea of being a sex slave when I am horny. I don’t really know what a slave would be unless I were to get into lawyesrism. I know damn well what being a sex slave is: to serve her sexually no matter the circumstances. But whoa! That is a wide open mine field to tread Yes, I am ready, but not after I have just orgasmed.
I hate to be so fickle. I would love to have MW hold me to my promise to do … you know, all that stuff. That is, until I orgasm. Then it is different.
Would somebody please take control of my brain and say, “Having just orgasmed has nothing to do with how you feel. This is what you will do, and you have nothing to say about it.” That is how I feel in general except after you-know-what.
Law Enforcement
I have been challenged on my blog space about my sporting a gun in a civil scenario. There is a difference between being a victim and being a victor. There is a difference between the average denizen of the state, legal or illegal, and the rest of us.
If you have not experienced this, your time is coming: some criminal will try to do a bad thing to you, and you will not like it. This is the product of living in society. It goes way back to biblical times. When some scumbag wants your money, it’s nothing personal; you just happen to be a convenience to the scumbag.
So, “Who do you call?” as they said in “Ghost Busters.” The immediate problem is that we are not there on the scene to stop the bad guy. We have tried it, and it is not possible. The next best thing is for you to call 911. We respond, but it may take time. Usually it is too late to stop a bad situation, but we are there eventually to mop up the scene.
We, the police, are here to show presence, and to some extent deter crime. But we cannot prevent crime. Some people resent our presence, but that is their problem. The best we can do is to catch the perpetrator after the crime and turn him over to the courts for just disposition.
If you never do anything that would justify someone calling 911, then you should consider us the good guys, for we don’t go looking for schmucks to arrest even when they deserve incarceration. We serve legal warrants rightfully issued by judges. If you are an average citizen, and we don't catch you in a crive, you have nothing to fear from us. You should actually feel good seeing us and be around us. We serve and we protect you. On the other hand, if you are a criminal, we will get you, and we don’t care how you feel about us. This is not politically correct, but we really don’t give a shit. We will see you in handcuffs. Then you can deal with Bubba who wants to explore your nether regions during the lights-off hours. It comes with your chosen territory.
If you have not experienced this, your time is coming: some criminal will try to do a bad thing to you, and you will not like it. This is the product of living in society. It goes way back to biblical times. When some scumbag wants your money, it’s nothing personal; you just happen to be a convenience to the scumbag.
So, “Who do you call?” as they said in “Ghost Busters.” The immediate problem is that we are not there on the scene to stop the bad guy. We have tried it, and it is not possible. The next best thing is for you to call 911. We respond, but it may take time. Usually it is too late to stop a bad situation, but we are there eventually to mop up the scene.
We, the police, are here to show presence, and to some extent deter crime. But we cannot prevent crime. Some people resent our presence, but that is their problem. The best we can do is to catch the perpetrator after the crime and turn him over to the courts for just disposition.
If you never do anything that would justify someone calling 911, then you should consider us the good guys, for we don’t go looking for schmucks to arrest even when they deserve incarceration. We serve legal warrants rightfully issued by judges. If you are an average citizen, and we don't catch you in a crive, you have nothing to fear from us. You should actually feel good seeing us and be around us. We serve and we protect you. On the other hand, if you are a criminal, we will get you, and we don’t care how you feel about us. This is not politically correct, but we really don’t give a shit. We will see you in handcuffs. Then you can deal with Bubba who wants to explore your nether regions during the lights-off hours. It comes with your chosen territory.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Homosexual Marriage
Homosexuality in general, when not in my face, is OK with me .We all are to some degree homosexual, so I will not blame or ostracize anyone who is not "truly heterosexual" what the hell ever that may be.
I have, however, a problem with “gay pride” and when homosexuals try to make special laws to favor their sexual preferences. Let’s say, that I am a kleptomaniac, and I am proud of it. Should I have laws enacted to prefer me as such? I rest my friggin’ case. If you bring up the argument of "homosexuality is not a preference but ingrained", give me a damn break. I am highly sexual, and I admit that it came with my being from way back. But I don't go around flaunting it or forcing it on others because "I can't help it". I also don't ask the government to give me special dispensation to accommodate my proclevity to prefer my sexual preferences. Dammit, I control my own behavior whether it is sucking a cock or licking a pussy. I go with what is reasonable, and I don't need the state to support my preference. You do your thing, and I will do mine without intruding on your space!
My definition of marriage in the traditional sense is between a man and a woman, whether they are heterosexual or to any degree homosexual. The reason for this is a religious basis. I am not religious, but I respect the belief and dedication of any religious person as long as it is not destructive or restrictive of my own beliefs. For example, if this religious person wants to blow me up because I am not of his faith, I will blow him away without respect to his so-called religion.
Getting back to the marriage issue I think that it is a non-issue. The definition of marriage is as old as mankind. It goes back to Adam and Eve in whatever language or religion. The problem with this came up when the state got into the act. There was a good reason for that, but it was wrong from the conception. The good part is trying to define a lawful state with respect to shared property, shared responsibility for each other and children, and ultimately, inheritance. The thing that is wrong with this is the definition of marriage itself. Marriage is a religious assumption, demonstrated over the years by the sanctions of priests, and other religious leaders. It is a promise to take care of and to serve only each other under God, whatever that god may be. This at some point should have been separated from a state-approved and sanctioned contract, which I call a “civil union”.
A civil union can and should be allowed between and among two or more people or such. The legality can be defined by the friggin’ lawyers to withstand the court’s probes, and should have nothing to do with religious or personal promises that a real marriage represents. Under a civil union, a man should be able to marry a woman, a man, or any number of such, including animals or inanimate objects. I really don’t give a rat's ass about what some man or woman wants to do along these lines as long as they keep it out of my life. This would negate the debate and the issue over the constitutionality of homosexual marriage and the other stuff, and keep it out of the courts.
Well, people have their heads up their asses, so this is not going to happen the way I see it. Stupidity has no bounds. The judge who negated the ballot initiative Proposition 8 in California has his own agenda describing a marriage between a man and a woman as homophobic. Yes, he is self-admitted homosexual, but that is not why he should be booted. Any homosexual is as smart or intelligent as a heterosexual. This guy has an agenda and he uses his position to undo what others in the majority deem proper. That is why he should be booted.
I have, however, a problem with “gay pride” and when homosexuals try to make special laws to favor their sexual preferences. Let’s say, that I am a kleptomaniac, and I am proud of it. Should I have laws enacted to prefer me as such? I rest my friggin’ case. If you bring up the argument of "homosexuality is not a preference but ingrained", give me a damn break. I am highly sexual, and I admit that it came with my being from way back. But I don't go around flaunting it or forcing it on others because "I can't help it". I also don't ask the government to give me special dispensation to accommodate my proclevity to prefer my sexual preferences. Dammit, I control my own behavior whether it is sucking a cock or licking a pussy. I go with what is reasonable, and I don't need the state to support my preference. You do your thing, and I will do mine without intruding on your space!
My definition of marriage in the traditional sense is between a man and a woman, whether they are heterosexual or to any degree homosexual. The reason for this is a religious basis. I am not religious, but I respect the belief and dedication of any religious person as long as it is not destructive or restrictive of my own beliefs. For example, if this religious person wants to blow me up because I am not of his faith, I will blow him away without respect to his so-called religion.
Getting back to the marriage issue I think that it is a non-issue. The definition of marriage is as old as mankind. It goes back to Adam and Eve in whatever language or religion. The problem with this came up when the state got into the act. There was a good reason for that, but it was wrong from the conception. The good part is trying to define a lawful state with respect to shared property, shared responsibility for each other and children, and ultimately, inheritance. The thing that is wrong with this is the definition of marriage itself. Marriage is a religious assumption, demonstrated over the years by the sanctions of priests, and other religious leaders. It is a promise to take care of and to serve only each other under God, whatever that god may be. This at some point should have been separated from a state-approved and sanctioned contract, which I call a “civil union”.
A civil union can and should be allowed between and among two or more people or such. The legality can be defined by the friggin’ lawyers to withstand the court’s probes, and should have nothing to do with religious or personal promises that a real marriage represents. Under a civil union, a man should be able to marry a woman, a man, or any number of such, including animals or inanimate objects. I really don’t give a rat's ass about what some man or woman wants to do along these lines as long as they keep it out of my life. This would negate the debate and the issue over the constitutionality of homosexual marriage and the other stuff, and keep it out of the courts.
Well, people have their heads up their asses, so this is not going to happen the way I see it. Stupidity has no bounds. The judge who negated the ballot initiative Proposition 8 in California has his own agenda describing a marriage between a man and a woman as homophobic. Yes, he is self-admitted homosexual, but that is not why he should be booted. Any homosexual is as smart or intelligent as a heterosexual. This guy has an agenda and he uses his position to undo what others in the majority deem proper. That is why he should be booted.
What Comes Around Goes Around
I find it funny and somewhat pathetic to read about someone’s self-described Female Led Relationship versus the vanilla version. The question is, "What is the difference?"
Let’s go back to what used to be called the vanilla relationship where a man is “henpecked”. Some poor schmuck would be controlled by his wife’s in-his-face insensitive behavior. She would humiliate him before friends, relatives, and strangers just because she was a friggin’ bitch and could get away with it and he did not have the balls to set her straight.
So now, henpecked is not only a misnomer but politically incorrect, even insulting to the woman who is doing the henpecking. Now she is in charge, and he is in her charge. Now she can be in-his-face and insensitive, and humiliate him to any extent in front of anyone. But this is good, because this is now a Female Led Relationship, and the rules are set: she is in charge, she can do anything, and he is to comply with whatever she decides. He is just a dolt who is not allowed to make a decision because she is the smart and intelligent one in the relationship.
Has anything changed other than the perception of the relationship?
Let’s go back to what used to be called the vanilla relationship where a man is “henpecked”. Some poor schmuck would be controlled by his wife’s in-his-face insensitive behavior. She would humiliate him before friends, relatives, and strangers just because she was a friggin’ bitch and could get away with it and he did not have the balls to set her straight.
So now, henpecked is not only a misnomer but politically incorrect, even insulting to the woman who is doing the henpecking. Now she is in charge, and he is in her charge. Now she can be in-his-face and insensitive, and humiliate him to any extent in front of anyone. But this is good, because this is now a Female Led Relationship, and the rules are set: she is in charge, she can do anything, and he is to comply with whatever she decides. He is just a dolt who is not allowed to make a decision because she is the smart and intelligent one in the relationship.
Has anything changed other than the perception of the relationship?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Way Back ...
I was in elementary school. I had already learned from my parents the order of importance: family, community, country. If family failed, there was nothing left. But if I could serve family, then the others took importance in the order shown.
I had a friend whose home I visited occasionally. His name was Deák Feri. His home was across town a long walk, but I did it for he was a fine fellow, and had interesting pedigree. His father was an enemy of the state, and his mother was a beautiful woman with ties to the old aristocracy. He was into engineering as I, and we had good times inventing things and playing with them. Then one day I learned that his father was discovered in the attic of an out building, and that his mother, oh the horrors, was supplying him with food and such. The father, of course, was arrested, and without a trial was executed. The mother was put into prison. Those were the times of our days.
It is many years and some continents away now. I have not kept touch with Deák Feri. At first it would have been dangerous to both of us. Later, well, maybe impossible given the oppressive government, which I damaged, and then left to its own devices to eventually fail.
I was fortunate to land in the United States of America and many years later obtain citizenship. Those of you who were borne here and managed to ignore the true history of the best country on this earth should do some studying. Read and study the constitution. That is the basis of this great land. If you ignore it, and many of you have, you will lose your freedom. We see it flittering away as allowances by the federal government. You should also study old history, not the politically correct crap now provided as such in schools.
I know what it is to be without freedom. It was before I came to the USA. It was a matter of my life, and I had to kill to keep it. I was fortunate to survive. The ones on the other side killed were not worth the air they breathed. I am not talking of ordinary street thugs. These were state hired thughs who would kill their mother on orders. When their day came they met their dues.
I had a friend whose home I visited occasionally. His name was Deák Feri. His home was across town a long walk, but I did it for he was a fine fellow, and had interesting pedigree. His father was an enemy of the state, and his mother was a beautiful woman with ties to the old aristocracy. He was into engineering as I, and we had good times inventing things and playing with them. Then one day I learned that his father was discovered in the attic of an out building, and that his mother, oh the horrors, was supplying him with food and such. The father, of course, was arrested, and without a trial was executed. The mother was put into prison. Those were the times of our days.
It is many years and some continents away now. I have not kept touch with Deák Feri. At first it would have been dangerous to both of us. Later, well, maybe impossible given the oppressive government, which I damaged, and then left to its own devices to eventually fail.
I was fortunate to land in the United States of America and many years later obtain citizenship. Those of you who were borne here and managed to ignore the true history of the best country on this earth should do some studying. Read and study the constitution. That is the basis of this great land. If you ignore it, and many of you have, you will lose your freedom. We see it flittering away as allowances by the federal government. You should also study old history, not the politically correct crap now provided as such in schools.
I know what it is to be without freedom. It was before I came to the USA. It was a matter of my life, and I had to kill to keep it. I was fortunate to survive. The ones on the other side killed were not worth the air they breathed. I am not talking of ordinary street thugs. These were state hired thughs who would kill their mother on orders. When their day came they met their dues.
Total Control
Now that I am alone for a week I have a lot of time to think. I have thoughts that transcends FLR. They even consider issues other than sex. Yes, I know that you know me as a horny person, but I have some feelings of wider coverage. My Patriotic Friend and I have discussions of ideas and concerns that affect our country and future. Here is a piece of wisdom from him.
An Essay By My Patriotic Friend
An Essay By My Patriotic Friend
Not one man or woman, nor a select group of people can make long-term decisions on what is best for us as a nation. This is the problem with our government. The people involved may have our welfare in mind at first, although I doubt it. I think it is mostly self service, and to hell with the people who pay their extravagant salaries and lifetime retirement benefits.
Aside from their avaricious inclination and lifestyle they are not smart enough individually and collectively when compared to what can be achieved by our nation as a whole. The United States of America is the only nation that has clearly demonstrated what can be done by freedom. You may argue the virtues of “isms”, and provide anecdotal evidence to shore up your beliefs, but on the long run, capitalism within a free society is what has endured, whereas all other “isms” have failed so far. European countries are going bankrupt. Some are abandoning the social welfare schemes because they can no longer afford them. Yet our Dictator in Chief and Congress are hell-bent on mimicking the European failed policies to lay out a good job for themselves at our and our children’s expense.
Capitalism relies on individual ingenuity and willingness to pursue an idea until it pays dividends. It creates jobs for those who are without ideas. It creates jobs for those who are willing to work. It discourages those who want to live off the earnings of the achievers. Capitalism thrives on the energy provided by willing and able members of a free society. Every member benefits from this energy, even those who sponge off our earnings.
When there is a problem that transcends the society, self-serving, and even well meaning members of the government step in to solve it. What they end up doing is to manipulate a narrow aspect of the symptoms. On the long run, they simply add to the problem, and cause other problems.
Capitalism can solve problems if given a chance. The reason is that the collective mind is vastly larger than the mediocre minds limited by the size of the government, and the huge bureaucracies that they rely upon. Capitalism relies on individuals all over the society. There is a vast resource of ingenuity among the population. One or more can be brilliant. Many can surpass the limited intelligence of the governmental members. When our government begins to limit this societal cornucopia, our lives become saddled under impossible constraints.
Capitalism does not deal with pseudo science and pseudo economics such as carbon credit, cap and trade, or government forced health care. It encourages people to figure out what is best for them, and allow it to do so.
It used to be said, “Charity begins at home”. That has become a national issue lately. But charity is not the charter of our federal or even state government. If our elected representatives took a four-year vacation, for which we would pay, our country would do very well. At the end of the four years we could reflect upon the improvement of our lives, and decide that lack of action in Congress is more beneficial than their managing of our lives.
絕不要羞於承認自己不知道的事。......................................
I have gone over this issue once, but had no resolution. Those of you who leave comments in a different language, they show up like the title of this post. I will not publish them, for they are simply cluttering the blog space. If you really want to leave a comment, please do so in English.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Home Alone
I am free as far as messing with the little guy is concerned. I can do to him, with him, or he can do to me whatever our fertile imagination provides. Yet, it is not as good as it would be with MW.
MW is off on her annual week’s stay with her friends at a nearby resort. I drove her there and moved all their luggage and stuff into the units that they were to occupy. We had a nice dinner in the main unit, and, as usual, I spoke many words of double meanings and they were understood. They know that I am a horny bastard ready to be used. With wine and spirits I may have had an excuse for my wise-ass comments. I assumed that MW would punish me for them, but she let me get away with them for now. That is both good and bad. I stayed overnight, and left mid-morning the next day to go home to allow the lovely ladies enjoying a few days of vacation.
I am now at home alone. I can indulge in my right hand gratification as much as I want. If she were to ask about it later, I would tell her. If she did not, it will remain between me and the little guy. I miss her. Her absence reminds me of how much I love to be with her.
MW is off on her annual week’s stay with her friends at a nearby resort. I drove her there and moved all their luggage and stuff into the units that they were to occupy. We had a nice dinner in the main unit, and, as usual, I spoke many words of double meanings and they were understood. They know that I am a horny bastard ready to be used. With wine and spirits I may have had an excuse for my wise-ass comments. I assumed that MW would punish me for them, but she let me get away with them for now. That is both good and bad. I stayed overnight, and left mid-morning the next day to go home to allow the lovely ladies enjoying a few days of vacation.
I am now at home alone. I can indulge in my right hand gratification as much as I want. If she were to ask about it later, I would tell her. If she did not, it will remain between me and the little guy. I miss her. Her absence reminds me of how much I love to be with her.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
You Never Know When It Is Truly The Last Time ... Until Later
I was young. I had a female friend much older than I. We did not exactly have sex, but did some heavy petting and then some. I very much appreciated her. She knew that I was not in her future. I also realized that I would develop other relationships with girls more my age. Still, the relationship sufficed under the circumstances.
“Will you see me next Sunday?” she asked.
“Nothing would keep me from you. I would love to do again what we did not quite do this time.”
“Why, you sarcastic horny little dick. Don’t expect much. Still, it is good to be with you.”
Then I became involved in a situation outside of our relationship. That situation was the cause of a complete change of my future. The planned Sunday tryst was impossible. Soon after that I left the country. I never did satisfy my commitment to her.
We may have a satisfying relationship. The normal is where one or both of us get what we want. Then we have a need to escalate, because normal becomes commonplace, no longer exciting. So we ratchet our needs and wants, and beg, plead, or press for more. Sometimes we get it, and all is well for a while. The sex we had some time back is now more exciting, it is on a higher plane. We coast with the joy and remembrance. We tend to skip over episodes because they are easy, with us at a whim. We don’t realize that the last great sex we had together could be truly the last.
Things happen that simply make it impossible to continue. Then days, weeks, and months later we remember how good it was, and that it was truly the last.
If only we could know, we could make it more memorable, somewhat like in the song, If You Go Away. But it is too late. We have had our last episode. Nothing will be like that again.
Once you miss the next episode, you miss it forever.
“Will you see me next Sunday?” she asked.
“Nothing would keep me from you. I would love to do again what we did not quite do this time.”
“Why, you sarcastic horny little dick. Don’t expect much. Still, it is good to be with you.”
Then I became involved in a situation outside of our relationship. That situation was the cause of a complete change of my future. The planned Sunday tryst was impossible. Soon after that I left the country. I never did satisfy my commitment to her.
We may have a satisfying relationship. The normal is where one or both of us get what we want. Then we have a need to escalate, because normal becomes commonplace, no longer exciting. So we ratchet our needs and wants, and beg, plead, or press for more. Sometimes we get it, and all is well for a while. The sex we had some time back is now more exciting, it is on a higher plane. We coast with the joy and remembrance. We tend to skip over episodes because they are easy, with us at a whim. We don’t realize that the last great sex we had together could be truly the last.
Things happen that simply make it impossible to continue. Then days, weeks, and months later we remember how good it was, and that it was truly the last.
If only we could know, we could make it more memorable, somewhat like in the song, If You Go Away. But it is too late. We have had our last episode. Nothing will be like that again.
Once you miss the next episode, you miss it forever.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Cum Shots
I have been pissing off people lately. It is an attitude that I seem to have from time to time, and this is the time. I am being brave. I am willing to walk out before you without my body armor and wait for you to take your best shot at me. I may duck, but I will be out there!
I have bitched about pornography before. If you get off on it, fine. I have gone through some, and, without a scientific measure, I conclude it to be total crap. Yes, I know, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” The problem is, I keep looking, but I see no beauty.
Some of you will say, “Yeah, shithead, you watch porno like we all do, so quit bitching.” Ok, I don’t know the amount of time you spend on it, the frequency, the intensity, or the type of material, so it is difficult to compare. I just have some real problem with about a tad below 100 percent of the stuff that I have seen.
I absolutely do not want to see women mistreated by men regardless of the situation. Yet, about fifty percent has to do with violence against women.
I tolerate a woman mistreated by another woman in some circumstances, but I never get sexual satisfaction out of it.
The ordinary fuck and suck videos don’t do anything for me, which accounts for another forty percent or so. As much as I love to see the naked female form, hump and blow scenes leave me cold.
That leaves some really raunchy stuff I don’t want to mention.
The above items take care of about 99 percent of pornography. The remaining one percent has to do with fake female dominas mistreating fake male submissives against fake dungeon-like backdrops mostly having to do with cocks and balls in some kind of bondage.
Visualize a skinny anemic unattractive female with a sneering attitude whose every second or third word, if she can speak at all, is “fuck” or “fucking”. She wears the requisite idiotic platform shoes and hopes she does not fall off and break two ankles. She wears a rubber or plastic outfit. She wears “nurse” outfit, or “military” outfit or ”Mistress outfit” that are produced by some home-shop in Shang-Wien in China. She wields whips, paddles, quirts, and appears to be in charge of a stupid male already in bondage. It is not known why he would go along with it. She suspends him from impossible hooks and chains in impossible positions, and proceeds to impale his mouth with the largest dildo ever built. She rapes him with a dildo the size of an elephant dong, and orgasms as he does in the process.
Have I turned you on so far with my depiction of pornographic methods and paraphernalia? If not, then maybe we think alike.
Some idiots out there obviously assume that depicting ugly men and women in prurient or violent portrayals of sexually suggestive scenarios are potentially lucrative. Perhaps they are right, otherwise they would not continue doing it. Are you paying for this? Are you supporting it? Which part of this is erotic?
I would rather use my imagination and jerk off in my bathroom. I am not condemning one’s preference for things. You know, some folks like gas masks, rubber suits, enema apparata, ballet boots, whips, paddles, chains, hooks, and so on. Pleasure and pain are relative. Shape, size, age, and scenario are to be preferred for the moment. Male or female, or a mix of the best is appreciated based on one’s needs. Two’s threes, or groups can be enticing. To each his own. But, damn, there is nothing original and attractive out there! It’s just more of the same crap. The captions to depict the contents are written by morons, and in many cases using an English-XXX dictionary.
Personally, when it comes to flavor, texture, and scenario, I like freshly baked sourdough rye bread. If all I see is doughnuts, chocolate cakes, ice cream, I feel disappointed and avoid it.
Similarly with the professional dominatrix scenario, I like the earthy well-built and experienced females as opposed to the typical thin femme fatale with no curves or muscles. If one of these thin wannabes has the means and determination to really whip my ass (figuratively) I might give her a chance assuming that MW would allow it. As I always say, “It’s not what you have, but what you do with it.” Alas, most of these professional mistreatesses don’t know what the hell they are doing. If they did, they would not be in front of a cheap camera with an asshole behind it. The purveyors of the genre assume that I don’t exist. Am I a minority?
What I really would like to see is real people doing real things in an erotic set. Real conversation, real story, real reactions to real events. They could get erotic, sadistic, masochistic, or realistic to fit the scenario. I would be willing to skip violence except maybe in tightly controlled situations where they are just part of what eventually becomes the ultimate orgasm (I like S/M when it fits the scenario. I have been known for having my ass whipped as I reported on my blog).
And yes, “Aarghhh, I’m comin’….!” Not to be included.
Getting back to the cum shot idea in the title. This is blatant. I am a man, I have masturbated, I have been masturbated by my female partner. All that was pleasant to a certain extent depending on the circumstances. Then there are the “cum shots” of pornography.
Can anyone tell me why a man would masturbate in the presence of an attractive woman and spill his juice over her face or body? I am as horny and virile as any man, but if a woman is willing to share her body, attention, and love with me, and we have an agreement of mutual pleasure, the last thing I want to do is to spill my sperm on her face. The whole idea is fake, stupid and demeaning to the woman!
I have masturbated. I do it when all else fails. But if I am in the company of a willing female, I would feel like a moron to culminate my pleasure by jerking off over her body. Who the hell came up with this lame theme?
Even worse are the pornographic videos of fucking and sucking until the last moment when the stupid male schmuck withdraws from whatever orifice and spills his load on some usually expected female surface. Give me a fucking break! Are there any of you out there who would do that? Male or female?
What would a woman get out of that? I know how a man would feel: an aborted or ruined orgasm! Unless the woman is enforcing that, and I would go with that, the idea is stupid. The people filming these videos are idiots, and the men getting off are just jerkoffs. Maybe they never learned to pleasure a woman with her satisfaction in mind. Maybe they learned sex watching these stylized pieces of crap and never had real sex. Maybe they don’t know love and satisfaction where it counts. They obviously have no respect for women. Similarly, the women have no respect for themselves or the men. What pathetic existence!
I have bitched about pornography before. If you get off on it, fine. I have gone through some, and, without a scientific measure, I conclude it to be total crap. Yes, I know, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” The problem is, I keep looking, but I see no beauty.
Some of you will say, “Yeah, shithead, you watch porno like we all do, so quit bitching.” Ok, I don’t know the amount of time you spend on it, the frequency, the intensity, or the type of material, so it is difficult to compare. I just have some real problem with about a tad below 100 percent of the stuff that I have seen.
I absolutely do not want to see women mistreated by men regardless of the situation. Yet, about fifty percent has to do with violence against women.
I tolerate a woman mistreated by another woman in some circumstances, but I never get sexual satisfaction out of it.
The ordinary fuck and suck videos don’t do anything for me, which accounts for another forty percent or so. As much as I love to see the naked female form, hump and blow scenes leave me cold.
That leaves some really raunchy stuff I don’t want to mention.
The above items take care of about 99 percent of pornography. The remaining one percent has to do with fake female dominas mistreating fake male submissives against fake dungeon-like backdrops mostly having to do with cocks and balls in some kind of bondage.
Visualize a skinny anemic unattractive female with a sneering attitude whose every second or third word, if she can speak at all, is “fuck” or “fucking”. She wears the requisite idiotic platform shoes and hopes she does not fall off and break two ankles. She wears a rubber or plastic outfit. She wears “nurse” outfit, or “military” outfit or ”Mistress outfit” that are produced by some home-shop in Shang-Wien in China. She wields whips, paddles, quirts, and appears to be in charge of a stupid male already in bondage. It is not known why he would go along with it. She suspends him from impossible hooks and chains in impossible positions, and proceeds to impale his mouth with the largest dildo ever built. She rapes him with a dildo the size of an elephant dong, and orgasms as he does in the process.
Have I turned you on so far with my depiction of pornographic methods and paraphernalia? If not, then maybe we think alike.
Some idiots out there obviously assume that depicting ugly men and women in prurient or violent portrayals of sexually suggestive scenarios are potentially lucrative. Perhaps they are right, otherwise they would not continue doing it. Are you paying for this? Are you supporting it? Which part of this is erotic?
I would rather use my imagination and jerk off in my bathroom. I am not condemning one’s preference for things. You know, some folks like gas masks, rubber suits, enema apparata, ballet boots, whips, paddles, chains, hooks, and so on. Pleasure and pain are relative. Shape, size, age, and scenario are to be preferred for the moment. Male or female, or a mix of the best is appreciated based on one’s needs. Two’s threes, or groups can be enticing. To each his own. But, damn, there is nothing original and attractive out there! It’s just more of the same crap. The captions to depict the contents are written by morons, and in many cases using an English-XXX dictionary.
Personally, when it comes to flavor, texture, and scenario, I like freshly baked sourdough rye bread. If all I see is doughnuts, chocolate cakes, ice cream, I feel disappointed and avoid it.
Similarly with the professional dominatrix scenario, I like the earthy well-built and experienced females as opposed to the typical thin femme fatale with no curves or muscles. If one of these thin wannabes has the means and determination to really whip my ass (figuratively) I might give her a chance assuming that MW would allow it. As I always say, “It’s not what you have, but what you do with it.” Alas, most of these professional mistreatesses don’t know what the hell they are doing. If they did, they would not be in front of a cheap camera with an asshole behind it. The purveyors of the genre assume that I don’t exist. Am I a minority?
What I really would like to see is real people doing real things in an erotic set. Real conversation, real story, real reactions to real events. They could get erotic, sadistic, masochistic, or realistic to fit the scenario. I would be willing to skip violence except maybe in tightly controlled situations where they are just part of what eventually becomes the ultimate orgasm (I like S/M when it fits the scenario. I have been known for having my ass whipped as I reported on my blog).
And yes, “Aarghhh, I’m comin’….!” Not to be included.
Getting back to the cum shot idea in the title. This is blatant. I am a man, I have masturbated, I have been masturbated by my female partner. All that was pleasant to a certain extent depending on the circumstances. Then there are the “cum shots” of pornography.
Can anyone tell me why a man would masturbate in the presence of an attractive woman and spill his juice over her face or body? I am as horny and virile as any man, but if a woman is willing to share her body, attention, and love with me, and we have an agreement of mutual pleasure, the last thing I want to do is to spill my sperm on her face. The whole idea is fake, stupid and demeaning to the woman!
I have masturbated. I do it when all else fails. But if I am in the company of a willing female, I would feel like a moron to culminate my pleasure by jerking off over her body. Who the hell came up with this lame theme?
Even worse are the pornographic videos of fucking and sucking until the last moment when the stupid male schmuck withdraws from whatever orifice and spills his load on some usually expected female surface. Give me a fucking break! Are there any of you out there who would do that? Male or female?
What would a woman get out of that? I know how a man would feel: an aborted or ruined orgasm! Unless the woman is enforcing that, and I would go with that, the idea is stupid. The people filming these videos are idiots, and the men getting off are just jerkoffs. Maybe they never learned to pleasure a woman with her satisfaction in mind. Maybe they learned sex watching these stylized pieces of crap and never had real sex. Maybe they don’t know love and satisfaction where it counts. They obviously have no respect for women. Similarly, the women have no respect for themselves or the men. What pathetic existence!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The Way We Perceive Ideas
Prologue
Her Majesty's Plaything posted an interesting view of playing at home or doing the second best thing without straying: the Internet. The blog is apparently well read, for there were many comments. I did not leave a comment, for being late, and much of what I would have said had been said. I like his blog. In many ways we are alike. I don’t have the experience of dealing with professional dominas, but that may be just something that I tragically missed in my naïve younger days. As for the rest, he is a good writer and a person I could have as a friend. I want to present my view that in many ways coincides with his. I have posted on the subject of evolution with respect to ideas, ideals, and expectations. Because the Internet is rich in ideas, experiences, feelings, and pornography, I want to say a few things that represent mine.
Naïveté
I started my blog in 2007 when my Mistress Wife (MW) and I fully realized the significance of a Female Led Relationship. I could not read enough to satisfy my thirst for femdom, FLR, serving women, and the various aspects that are now fully explored issues: chastity, CBT, cuckoldry, etc. As you can tell by the above words, it was mostly sexual.
I was naïve. Most of us begin with that characteristic, for I doubt that any of us are borne with full knowledge of the subject. Everything that I read was fun, exciting, fascinating, and sexual. See my list of favorite books on this blog to get an idea.
After a while I began to be more discerning in my evaluation of what I read, but kept increasing my list of blogs that I revisited. I was thrilled. I did not have enough time to explore all that, but I tried to be efficient at it. This brought me to the next stage of being: discerning.
Discerning
I began to identify signs of falsehoods that enabled me to separate fact from fiction and consequently dismiss the crap. Some blogs were mostly factual, but had posts that were either clearly or partly fictional. I began to resent such. The reason was based on the premise of my own blog: truth, unless explicitly stated otherwise.
I have no problem with fiction and fantasy. I write short stories, and books that are fantasy. But within my blog I remain truthful. I expect the same unless the author states otherwise.
I also began to do what I referred to back then as pontification. My assumption back then was that I was smart, experienced in the subjects I discussed, therefore, I had the right to pontificate. Well, maybe.
During these two periods of development I wrote about how MW and I did things, some of which I would not want to share with friends and relatives on account of subsequently being embarrassed. Nothing shameful there, just that some issues need to remain unsaid or unpublished among friends and family.
Jaded
My interests ranged all over the FLR realm, and I found occasional gems. As time went on I kept reading about things that I had read before although posted by different people. I was interested in actively debunking fakery and applauding real dedication to FLR. The various fringes of FLR still interested me, but that is where I usually found silly claims and attempts at presenting obvious fantasy as reality. As I said, I like fantasy. Just don’t try to sell it as reality.
Disillusioned
I still love the idea of FLR. I want to spend my life serving a deserving woman, such as MW. However, I have a real problem with many of the issues, such as female supremacy, slavery, total control, cuckoldry, extreme chastity, etc. I am not dismissing any of this at all. They all are fascinating games that two or more people can play, and I would love to play some or all from time to time.
My problem is when some readers or writers comment on the issues as if we all should be that way and sound like they have it all figured out. I have written about all of these, and probably will again. The thing is, there is no one rule that will fit more than just some of us and only occasionally at best. It is fun to read it, to write it, and especially to experience it. But it is just a game. I have never met a willing or unwilling slave, for instance. He or she may have played at it, but on the long run, they don’t exist.
The Way It Is
One can make a lifestyle real for a short time assuming willing partners. And then things change. Interests diverge, economic and health issues show up, obligations kick in, and then what was a neat game is no longer viable. You expect some of this. If you are smart you plan for this, and handle the changes one by one and will hang in there being wiser.
If you are naïve or stupid, you don’t know what hit you, and will begin to repeat an attempt to recreate the failed relationship. Good luck! You will die trying.
If you have an otherwise stable relationship, then you get over these hurdles and either improve your aim or admit failure and try something else. In the words of my Patriotic Friend, “’Nothing’ is perfect. Whereas, everything else is not.” Since we are dealing with everything else, we see imperfection all around. In my mind, that is a challenge to improve whatever I am doing.
In Closing
I assume that a person with more intelligence than mine could have transcended the stages that I had to travel to come to my conclusions, and zero in on it at the start. My excuse could be that I was exposed to malnutrition and lead (both in paint and bullets) as a child, so the experience had handicapped me.
However, I am not using an excuse. I despise excuses. I either do or I fail to do. If I fail, then I take the consequences. The only allowed excuse is being dead. By the latest measure, I am still alive, so I have no excuse. However, I will admit to being less intelligent and less smart than some people I have known and admired. That is an admission of my relative standing. It is being realistic.
Then there are people who are not smart enough to realize that they are not smart. Pity.
Her Majesty's Plaything posted an interesting view of playing at home or doing the second best thing without straying: the Internet. The blog is apparently well read, for there were many comments. I did not leave a comment, for being late, and much of what I would have said had been said. I like his blog. In many ways we are alike. I don’t have the experience of dealing with professional dominas, but that may be just something that I tragically missed in my naïve younger days. As for the rest, he is a good writer and a person I could have as a friend. I want to present my view that in many ways coincides with his. I have posted on the subject of evolution with respect to ideas, ideals, and expectations. Because the Internet is rich in ideas, experiences, feelings, and pornography, I want to say a few things that represent mine.
Naïveté
I started my blog in 2007 when my Mistress Wife (MW) and I fully realized the significance of a Female Led Relationship. I could not read enough to satisfy my thirst for femdom, FLR, serving women, and the various aspects that are now fully explored issues: chastity, CBT, cuckoldry, etc. As you can tell by the above words, it was mostly sexual.
I was naïve. Most of us begin with that characteristic, for I doubt that any of us are borne with full knowledge of the subject. Everything that I read was fun, exciting, fascinating, and sexual. See my list of favorite books on this blog to get an idea.
After a while I began to be more discerning in my evaluation of what I read, but kept increasing my list of blogs that I revisited. I was thrilled. I did not have enough time to explore all that, but I tried to be efficient at it. This brought me to the next stage of being: discerning.
Discerning
I began to identify signs of falsehoods that enabled me to separate fact from fiction and consequently dismiss the crap. Some blogs were mostly factual, but had posts that were either clearly or partly fictional. I began to resent such. The reason was based on the premise of my own blog: truth, unless explicitly stated otherwise.
I have no problem with fiction and fantasy. I write short stories, and books that are fantasy. But within my blog I remain truthful. I expect the same unless the author states otherwise.
I also began to do what I referred to back then as pontification. My assumption back then was that I was smart, experienced in the subjects I discussed, therefore, I had the right to pontificate. Well, maybe.
During these two periods of development I wrote about how MW and I did things, some of which I would not want to share with friends and relatives on account of subsequently being embarrassed. Nothing shameful there, just that some issues need to remain unsaid or unpublished among friends and family.
Jaded
My interests ranged all over the FLR realm, and I found occasional gems. As time went on I kept reading about things that I had read before although posted by different people. I was interested in actively debunking fakery and applauding real dedication to FLR. The various fringes of FLR still interested me, but that is where I usually found silly claims and attempts at presenting obvious fantasy as reality. As I said, I like fantasy. Just don’t try to sell it as reality.
Disillusioned
I still love the idea of FLR. I want to spend my life serving a deserving woman, such as MW. However, I have a real problem with many of the issues, such as female supremacy, slavery, total control, cuckoldry, extreme chastity, etc. I am not dismissing any of this at all. They all are fascinating games that two or more people can play, and I would love to play some or all from time to time.
My problem is when some readers or writers comment on the issues as if we all should be that way and sound like they have it all figured out. I have written about all of these, and probably will again. The thing is, there is no one rule that will fit more than just some of us and only occasionally at best. It is fun to read it, to write it, and especially to experience it. But it is just a game. I have never met a willing or unwilling slave, for instance. He or she may have played at it, but on the long run, they don’t exist.
The Way It Is
One can make a lifestyle real for a short time assuming willing partners. And then things change. Interests diverge, economic and health issues show up, obligations kick in, and then what was a neat game is no longer viable. You expect some of this. If you are smart you plan for this, and handle the changes one by one and will hang in there being wiser.
If you are naïve or stupid, you don’t know what hit you, and will begin to repeat an attempt to recreate the failed relationship. Good luck! You will die trying.
If you have an otherwise stable relationship, then you get over these hurdles and either improve your aim or admit failure and try something else. In the words of my Patriotic Friend, “’Nothing’ is perfect. Whereas, everything else is not.” Since we are dealing with everything else, we see imperfection all around. In my mind, that is a challenge to improve whatever I am doing.
In Closing
I assume that a person with more intelligence than mine could have transcended the stages that I had to travel to come to my conclusions, and zero in on it at the start. My excuse could be that I was exposed to malnutrition and lead (both in paint and bullets) as a child, so the experience had handicapped me.
However, I am not using an excuse. I despise excuses. I either do or I fail to do. If I fail, then I take the consequences. The only allowed excuse is being dead. By the latest measure, I am still alive, so I have no excuse. However, I will admit to being less intelligent and less smart than some people I have known and admired. That is an admission of my relative standing. It is being realistic.
Then there are people who are not smart enough to realize that they are not smart. Pity.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Pathetic
I enjoy reading Mistress Kathy's Blog. She is benign, and does some things to her husband that turn me on sexually, although I am not too sure that she is real: it could be one man’s fantasy. I also get a kick out of some of the discussions as a result of her postings. The latest that got me off on this kink was Money Of His Own. You will have to read it to understand my reaction to some of the comments.
Come on, guys, this is really pathetic. Aren’t you adults? Do adults need some other adult to check your exact behavior from minute to minute? So what if you buy an extra cheese burger? Is that a friggin’ sin?
I don’t understand the mentality of needing to be controlled to this extent other than the sexual part. Maybe you never grew up to be an adult, and you need the extra care. If that is the case, you should not be allowed to marry, form an adult relationship, have children, have a reasonable job, or drive a car.
This thing about not having financial means, or having a tiny allowance to buy your weekly chewing gum is ridiculous. Either you are a responsible adult, or you are a moron. I have a distant nephew who is a moron. He works at a WalMart retrieving shopping carts to earn a living with some help. He is proud of it, and I don’t think that sex is part of his enjoyment of his accomplishments. Whereas the rest of you who need care, well, I am sure that much of that is in your sexual fantasy. If you are lucky, some woman provides that by giving you one dollar a week to get your dental floss or such. As for practicality or reality of the situation, it is ridiculous. Your mother is no longer in charge of you, so get over it! If you are that stupid to deal with real things, what the hell is some assumed intelligent woman doing with you? You should be in an asylum. This whole thing is a damn fantasy.
Playing sexual games including money and other such real things is fun, and many of us do that. Just don’t tell us that it is real. Real soon you or your partner gets tired of it, and then it is over. So all the crap you wrote no longer applies. Any of us who belived in you are left with disappointment. Shame on you.
Come on, guys, this is really pathetic. Aren’t you adults? Do adults need some other adult to check your exact behavior from minute to minute? So what if you buy an extra cheese burger? Is that a friggin’ sin?
I don’t understand the mentality of needing to be controlled to this extent other than the sexual part. Maybe you never grew up to be an adult, and you need the extra care. If that is the case, you should not be allowed to marry, form an adult relationship, have children, have a reasonable job, or drive a car.
This thing about not having financial means, or having a tiny allowance to buy your weekly chewing gum is ridiculous. Either you are a responsible adult, or you are a moron. I have a distant nephew who is a moron. He works at a WalMart retrieving shopping carts to earn a living with some help. He is proud of it, and I don’t think that sex is part of his enjoyment of his accomplishments. Whereas the rest of you who need care, well, I am sure that much of that is in your sexual fantasy. If you are lucky, some woman provides that by giving you one dollar a week to get your dental floss or such. As for practicality or reality of the situation, it is ridiculous. Your mother is no longer in charge of you, so get over it! If you are that stupid to deal with real things, what the hell is some assumed intelligent woman doing with you? You should be in an asylum. This whole thing is a damn fantasy.
Playing sexual games including money and other such real things is fun, and many of us do that. Just don’t tell us that it is real. Real soon you or your partner gets tired of it, and then it is over. So all the crap you wrote no longer applies. Any of us who belived in you are left with disappointment. Shame on you.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Chenoweth
I was introduced to a person in my professional space whose last name was Chenoweth. I found the name unusual, not having heard or seen it before. The name sounds somewhat feminine, some name that I would give to a female child who would grow to be a magnificent female. Alas, this person was male, stocky, and entirely not my type when it came to sexual preference. He was also a very competent engineer in the computer science realm. I assumed that he was of Irish heritage, so I was on his side from the beginning. Let me explain this.
Some years prior while I was a budding engineer of electrical and computer science I held a part time job driving a commuter bus for extra earnings. OK, maybe I was not very smart, but it was some extra income that I could use to support my growing family. On one occasion I drove a group of citizens to some theatrical play in a nearby city. While they were viewing the performance I did some studying as I was still between degrees of BS and MS. By the way, “BS” stands for “Bachelor of Science”, not the other thing. During the ongoing performance while I sat in the driver’s seat of my bus a couple of the denizens of the group entered. Apparently they did not care for the fare offered by the theatre, so they decided to spend the last hour in my company. I nodded as they took seats and returned to my textbook on Fluid Dynamics.
The woman was slightly older than I, the man somewhat younger. He made no impression on me. But the woman, well, let’s say, I was more than impressed. I was newly immersed in the English language with an American tutelage, so listening to the woman talking was a new experience. Although I was in love with my wife, I could have gone with this woman anywhere. I correctly guessed her strong accent to be Irish and I loved it. We talked and enjoyed the wait for the rest of the troupe about an hour thence.
Later I read a book by L. Ron Hubbard, “Battlefield Earth”. It was somewhat two-dimensional; nevertheless, I enjoyed it very much. Although set in an American future scenario, by far the best part was the Scottish folk who became a major part of events downstream.
So much for the background, and now back to my erstwhile colleague, Mr. Chenoweth. I love everything Irish, Scottish, and British. I miss the opportunity to have immigrated to England when I ended up in the United States of America instead. I would now be speaking with a British accent otherwise. Now, of course, I know that I was fortunate due to circumstances of my background and have an American accent with a European flavor. Still, I love the various accents the people have from these parts of the world. In all, Scotts are my favorite people. After my encounter with this engineer of exotic name I did some research, and found that the name may be of Cornish origin. Well, Cornish is not exactly common outside of the UK, so most of us would assume Celtic. You know, somewhat like when you hear a Hungarian name and you assume it is Polish: close enough, since they are all alike anyway.
That was the only time I encountered the name Chenoweth. Are there any of you out there who know someone by that name? Let's hear from you.
Some years prior while I was a budding engineer of electrical and computer science I held a part time job driving a commuter bus for extra earnings. OK, maybe I was not very smart, but it was some extra income that I could use to support my growing family. On one occasion I drove a group of citizens to some theatrical play in a nearby city. While they were viewing the performance I did some studying as I was still between degrees of BS and MS. By the way, “BS” stands for “Bachelor of Science”, not the other thing. During the ongoing performance while I sat in the driver’s seat of my bus a couple of the denizens of the group entered. Apparently they did not care for the fare offered by the theatre, so they decided to spend the last hour in my company. I nodded as they took seats and returned to my textbook on Fluid Dynamics.
The woman was slightly older than I, the man somewhat younger. He made no impression on me. But the woman, well, let’s say, I was more than impressed. I was newly immersed in the English language with an American tutelage, so listening to the woman talking was a new experience. Although I was in love with my wife, I could have gone with this woman anywhere. I correctly guessed her strong accent to be Irish and I loved it. We talked and enjoyed the wait for the rest of the troupe about an hour thence.
Later I read a book by L. Ron Hubbard, “Battlefield Earth”. It was somewhat two-dimensional; nevertheless, I enjoyed it very much. Although set in an American future scenario, by far the best part was the Scottish folk who became a major part of events downstream.
So much for the background, and now back to my erstwhile colleague, Mr. Chenoweth. I love everything Irish, Scottish, and British. I miss the opportunity to have immigrated to England when I ended up in the United States of America instead. I would now be speaking with a British accent otherwise. Now, of course, I know that I was fortunate due to circumstances of my background and have an American accent with a European flavor. Still, I love the various accents the people have from these parts of the world. In all, Scotts are my favorite people. After my encounter with this engineer of exotic name I did some research, and found that the name may be of Cornish origin. Well, Cornish is not exactly common outside of the UK, so most of us would assume Celtic. You know, somewhat like when you hear a Hungarian name and you assume it is Polish: close enough, since they are all alike anyway.
That was the only time I encountered the name Chenoweth. Are there any of you out there who know someone by that name? Let's hear from you.
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