Tuesday, July 27, 2010

You Never Know When It Is Truly The Last Time ... Until Later

I was young. I had a female friend much older than I. We did not exactly have sex, but did some heavy petting and then some. I very much appreciated her. She knew that I was not in her future. I also realized that I would develop other relationships with girls more my age. Still, the relationship sufficed under the circumstances.

“Will you see me next Sunday?” she asked.

“Nothing would keep me from you. I would love to do again what we did not quite do this time.”

“Why, you sarcastic horny little dick. Don’t expect much. Still, it is good to be with you.”

Then I became involved in a situation outside of our relationship. That situation was the cause of a complete change of my future. The planned Sunday tryst was impossible. Soon after that I left the country. I never did satisfy my commitment to her.

We may have a satisfying relationship. The normal is where one or both of us get what we want. Then we have a need to escalate, because normal becomes commonplace, no longer exciting. So we ratchet our needs and wants, and beg, plead, or press for more. Sometimes we get it, and all is well for a while. The sex we had some time back is now more exciting, it is on a higher plane. We coast with the joy and remembrance. We tend to skip over episodes because they are easy, with us at a whim. We don’t realize that the last great sex we had together could be truly the last.

Things happen that simply make it impossible to continue. Then days, weeks, and months later we remember how good it was, and that it was truly the last.

If only we could know, we could make it more memorable, somewhat like in the song, If You Go Away. But it is too late. We have had our last episode. Nothing will be like that again.

Once you miss the next episode, you miss it forever.