Saturday, March 5, 2011

Why Do Some Men Crave Forced Chastity?

Before I get into the subject I want to cover I have some questions. I am using Google Blogger to present and publish my blog. For a couple of weeks now the disclaimer page that warns users of the potentially sexual content of the blog shows up in German instead of English. I have not done anything on purpose to cause this. The Google support is inaccessible, so there is nobody to ask. Does anyone know why this changed from English to German? Does anyone know how to change it back?

From Horny Males to Horny Men

If men are getting all the sex that they need, chastity does not enter their mind. Most males don’t get enough, so in a way that is like chastity. Chastity can be imposed by self, by circumstances, or by another person.

Self-imposed chastity is a weird state of mind for little benefit or lack of good reason. I am sure that there are still religious and mystical reasons for it, but that is not the subject of this post.

Chastity imposed by circumstances is the most common. This is the reality when he would have sex, or at least his preferred way of sex, if he could meet the needs of the situation, which ranges from unlikely to impossible. Think of being marooned alone on a desert island, being in prison, or in some kind of medical condition that is not conducive to sex as he prefers it. There are many of us who go through this from time to time even without the above mentioned extreme circumstances. Prolonged illness, illness of a partner, shyness, being involved with some serious projects tend to limit access to preferred sex. Generally these are temporary, so a better word for it would be celibacy rather than chastity. However, the result is the same: he is not getting any.

The third reason for chastity is imposed by another person. This is rare, and in today’s civilized society makes little sense except for children and kinky adult play. Zeroing in on the most fun reason, that is kinky adult play, brings us to the subject suggested by the title of this post.

The horny state of a male is nature’s way to provide for females to become impregnated and thereby produce enough offsprings to ensure the survival of the species. Don’t blame this on men. The reason is much deeper than that: evolution presses on the viable. Those who are not horny die without viable offsprings. Of course, with today’s technology that is not necessarily a vital issue. The non-viable survive, and propagate to produce more non-viable offsprings, thereby ensuring reliance on science to survive. Then, when science fails, survival fails, and the rats will inherit Earth.

Narrowing “male“ to “man”, and his needs, one must admit that homo sapiens has come a long way to differentiate between ordinary rut and somewhat civilized satisfaction of the sexual urges. Aside from hunting and gathering to support the subsequent issues, there are social, moral, and financial implications of inserting a penis into a vagina.

In the last few decades of Western society any pimple-faced adolescent male became able to get satisfaction. When he wants oral, vaginal, or anal sex, a liberated female of whatever age will provide it. It is no longer a matter of “saving it for my love” issue. It has become “a moment satisfaction” goal. Sex is there for the taking.

In the rare case when the female refuses vaginal sex the man involved pursues his goal as he was programmed to do by a million years of evolution. He tries, he fails to succeed, he masturbates, and then he tries again. Over time he learns that deprivation of female approved sex has left him with wanting. Self-gratification works for the short term, but is much less satisfactory than being involved with a partner to provide true satisfaction. The external control is missing. She has to provide the challenge, the fangs, the claws, the software, the pheromones, in order to be fulfilled his attempt. Without these pleasure enhancers it is like … you know, self-gratification.

The average male, assuming some intelligence above the level of apes, makes a connection between self-imposed celibacy and enforced chastity. He is single or being without a partner to satisfy his urges. Even with a partner, he is missing the frequency that ranges from rare to never. The bottom line is, he is not getting enough. He thinks back to his teen-age years of wondering about things and having nothing but manual stimulation by his dominant hand, he realizes that things are not any better some years into his chronological adulthood.

Where Does He Get the Idea?

He has read pornography to learn the ways and means and to stimulate his urges. He knows that there are other ways than the dominant hand. He fantasizes and reads blogs and forums on subjects that relate to his need. He runs into the realm of chastity. Suddenly he is into hog heaven. He reads and responds to men of similar yearnings and experiences. He is horny. His sexual satisfaction graph is characterized by a flat line with occasional blips due to the dominant hand. He yearns for someone to do it to him in just about any way known to men. Even though the means are available by social intercourse, he is too shy, too ugly, too timid, or too busy to cash in on them. Then again, he may be in a relationship that has gone useless as far as mutual sex is concerned.

Mechanical Chastity

In his reading of the Internet he has run across ways of accomplishing this. Most prominent is the chastity fantasy where a key holder controls his frequency of sexual pleasure. He invests in some form of chastity device, installs it furtively on his parts, and gets a kick out of the experience. He tries to hide it from his partner until or when he figures out what might work with her. He runs into the same problems as legitimately chastised males: physical and physiological problems with the nasty device he is trying, and getting his partner interested if it works for him. He wastes more money going through the various devices and ways of acclimating himself to them. If he has a partner who does not know what he is doing, he has the problem of hiding his fetish. If his partner is aware but not willing, he needs to convince her that it would be in her interest. He thinks, “I’m not getting any because my partner isn’t interested. What if I could get her interested in denying my pleasure at her pleasure? At least I would have a reason to justify my being celibate? She could ignore me with a purpose! I would be in enforced chastity!”

Meanwhile, in spite of the problems with the device he is somewhat turned on for the nonce. It is no worse than having no experience in the real, but at as long as he is not getting any real sex, he can fantasize that he is being under chastity. It remains a thrill for a while. Then it wears off, and he releases himself. As pleasurable as the release was, he feels like a failure afterward. He is back to where he was before he first put on the first device: no sex. Is he going to re-install the chastity device? Will he wait a day or so before doing so? Will he think that next time will be better?

I am a man, so I don’t know for sure whether there are women who enjoy applying some form of chastity to their men for any reason even though this is the most coveted position by the men who want to be put into chastity. After some years of research and reading of blogs I have concluded that these women, if they exist, are rare. Men or men masquerading as women write most blogs and forum posts along these lines.

I feel that some women would prefer to keep their man’s pecker locked as a matter of convenience to them! As a result they would not have to deal with sloppy spills, grunting sweaty and prickly male bodies, and of course, pregnancy and the ensuing little rug rats. She could avoid doing some unpleasant work in exchange for satisfying a man’s weird needs.

Still, a majority of women like men, love to have sex with men, and are willing to put up with some inconvenience for the pleasure, safety, and comfort they receive as a partner. Then there are women who take the more positive approach of arranging all this for themselves, and the men in their relationship are in hog heaven. Then there is the rest …

Chastity Imposed on a Man

Putting a man into chastity is at the man’s discretion on the large. But why would he choose that? I think I know the reasons. The common denominator is that he is already not getting any or enough sex, so being put into chastity would not change that. His partner, who would or could otherwise provide his needed releases, is not doing it. What if he were to introduce her to this fetish? What if she takes it as a convenient out of dealing with his hornyness? He won’t be getting less sex, but at least he could rationalize that he is in the hands of a female who decides his pleasure, therefore it is beyond his control. He would still be getting nothing, but it would at least be because a woman decided so. The big difference is the external control.

Being Under Her Sexual Control

The problem is that the woman who does not want sex, or does not want it often, is the same woman who does not want to deal with the detailed fantasy of the man who started this process. Does she want to install the device on him? Does she want to release him for maintenance and cleaning? Does she want to prescribe when, where, how, and how frequently he should orgasm? Does she want to deal with this kinky pseudo sex just to avoid the real thing? Well, to some degree, some women do. But mostly, it is just a male rationalization of why he is not getting any sex. If, in addition, the man remains horny and is willing to do any kind of sex or lack of sex with her, then she is where she prefers to be. She has nothing to lose, and he is happy deluding himself thinking that she is controlling him. Of courses, when he becomes dissatisfied, the game is over. Who is really in control?

On the other hand, being in constant hog heaven on the short term is not that bad. One always hopes that the key holder will take our fantasy seriously enough to play along for a long time, and once in a while up the ante – so to speak. Any pleasure she allows on the side is a gift from her, any pain we suffer is a gift to her. We give up control in exchange for being taken care of. As long as she plays our game we are thankfully in it. Where is the harm?


Giles English said...

A long and thoughtful post. I like the rationalization concept!

I think, though, there's a slightly more positive way to look at it. If she's not engaged with the chastity, but is engaged with the vanilla benefits to her, then the kinky relationship is mutual.

For example, if - when she's tired - she enjoys a massage and oral sex, but doesn't have the energy to reciprocate, that's not a remotely reasonable thing to ask for in a "normal" relationship; "Just do me, then I'll pass out. No sex, though, because I don't want to clean up after".

However, it's an entirely reasonable thing to order a "slave" to do, or to ask of a chaste husband. In vanilla terms, it's a fare trade.

In kinky terms - well, she doesn't care about his pleasure, or even his experience. But isn't that the fantasy anyway?

Anonymous said...

Great post! I introduced my partner to using a chastity device on me. At the time, I thought it would be one of many things that keep her in my mind throughout the day. I was right about that. We went slowly. She and I both enjoy sex so a device isn't used 24/7/365. She unlocks me when she wants access. We do not live together so the device is on when we are apart, and sometimes it is on when we are together but are out doing things. She has taken control of my chastity - that is even better. She wrote about this in my blog at

I do believe that everything from her is a gift.


Susan's Pet said...

Thanks for your comments.

My wife and I play with these devices maybe not as often as I would like. Device-enforced chastity for us is just play, not a way of life. I can certainly visualize the scenario where I would be in chastity; she would use me for her pleasure, and then dismiss me obviously ignoring my lack of reciprocation. In fact, she has done this more than once, and in no instance was my cock encased in anything as far as I recall. I suppose I could have gone off and finished it for myself afterward. The reason I did not was that I was so happy having been used that way that I just did not want to spoil my euphoria.