Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Way We Perceive Ideas


Her Majesty's Plaything posted an interesting view of playing at home or doing the second best thing without straying: the Internet. The blog is apparently well read, for there were many comments. I did not leave a comment, for being late, and much of what I would have said had been said. I like his blog. In many ways we are alike. I don’t have the experience of dealing with professional dominas, but that may be just something that I tragically missed in my naïve younger days. As for the rest, he is a good writer and a person I could have as a friend. I want to present my view that in many ways coincides with his. I have posted on the subject of evolution with respect to ideas, ideals, and expectations. Because the Internet is rich in ideas, experiences, feelings, and pornography, I want to say a few things that represent mine.


I started my blog in 2007 when my Mistress Wife (MW) and I fully realized the significance of a Female Led Relationship. I could not read enough to satisfy my thirst for femdom, FLR, serving women, and the various aspects that are now fully explored issues: chastity, CBT, cuckoldry, etc. As you can tell by the above words, it was mostly sexual.

I was naïve. Most of us begin with that characteristic, for I doubt that any of us are borne with full knowledge of the subject. Everything that I read was fun, exciting, fascinating, and sexual. See my list of favorite books on this blog to get an idea.

After a while I began to be more discerning in my evaluation of what I read, but kept increasing my list of blogs that I revisited. I was thrilled. I did not have enough time to explore all that, but I tried to be efficient at it. This brought me to the next stage of being: discerning.


I began to identify signs of falsehoods that enabled me to separate fact from fiction and consequently dismiss the crap. Some blogs were mostly factual, but had posts that were either clearly or partly fictional. I began to resent such. The reason was based on the premise of my own blog: truth, unless explicitly stated otherwise.

I have no problem with fiction and fantasy. I write short stories, and books that are fantasy. But within my blog I remain truthful. I expect the same unless the author states otherwise.

I also began to do what I referred to back then as pontification. My assumption back then was that I was smart, experienced in the subjects I discussed, therefore, I had the right to pontificate. Well, maybe.

During these two periods of development I wrote about how MW and I did things, some of which I would not want to share with friends and relatives on account of subsequently being embarrassed. Nothing shameful there, just that some issues need to remain unsaid or unpublished among friends and family.


My interests ranged all over the FLR realm, and I found occasional gems. As time went on I kept reading about things that I had read before although posted by different people. I was interested in actively debunking fakery and applauding real dedication to FLR. The various fringes of FLR still interested me, but that is where I usually found silly claims and attempts at presenting obvious fantasy as reality. As I said, I like fantasy. Just don’t try to sell it as reality.


I still love the idea of FLR. I want to spend my life serving a deserving woman, such as MW. However, I have a real problem with many of the issues, such as female supremacy, slavery, total control, cuckoldry, extreme chastity, etc. I am not dismissing any of this at all. They all are fascinating games that two or more people can play, and I would love to play some or all from time to time.

My problem is when some readers or writers comment on the issues as if we all should be that way and sound like they have it all figured out. I have written about all of these, and probably will again. The thing is, there is no one rule that will fit more than just some of us and only occasionally at best. It is fun to read it, to write it, and especially to experience it. But it is just a game. I have never met a willing or unwilling slave, for instance. He or she may have played at it, but on the long run, they don’t exist.

The Way It Is

One can make a lifestyle real for a short time assuming willing partners. And then things change. Interests diverge, economic and health issues show up, obligations kick in, and then what was a neat game is no longer viable. You expect some of this. If you are smart you plan for this, and handle the changes one by one and will hang in there being wiser.

If you are naïve or stupid, you don’t know what hit you, and will begin to repeat an attempt to recreate the failed relationship. Good luck! You will die trying.

If you have an otherwise stable relationship, then you get over these hurdles and either improve your aim or admit failure and try something else. In the words of my Patriotic Friend, “’Nothing’ is perfect. Whereas, everything else is not.” Since we are dealing with everything else, we see imperfection all around. In my mind, that is a challenge to improve whatever I am doing.

In Closing

I assume that a person with more intelligence than mine could have transcended the stages that I had to travel to come to my conclusions, and zero in on it at the start. My excuse could be that I was exposed to malnutrition and lead (both in paint and bullets) as a child, so the experience had handicapped me.

However, I am not using an excuse. I despise excuses. I either do or I fail to do. If I fail, then I take the consequences. The only allowed excuse is being dead. By the latest measure, I am still alive, so I have no excuse. However, I will admit to being less intelligent and less smart than some people I have known and admired. That is an admission of my relative standing. It is being realistic.

Then there are people who are not smart enough to realize that they are not smart. Pity.


Lady Grey said...

This comment is not specific to this entry( which I enjoyed), but I don't have any other way of reaching you, so I'm using this comment spot to do so. You commented on my last blog entry - "How Much Is Enough" - and I answered to the effect that you seemed to be contradicting yourself. Upon several re-readings, I finally understood what you were getting at, so I need to apologize for my obtuseness. That said, I'm going to quote part of your comment on my next blog entry, and I just thought you'd like to know. Take care, and keep up your fine observations.

Susan's Pet said...

Dear Lady Grey,

Upon re-reading my comment I can see that I was not as eloquent as I tried to be.

I like reading your blog especially in the slightly tainted aura of your veracity with hints about your being less than Lady Grey. Regardless of accusations, I am one of your fans, so please keep writing and reading. As they say in Hollywood, there is no bad publicity. In your case it is just good publicity.

I have read your blog and your comments on some other blogs, and I give you my full support, such as it is. You must allow me my restraints, so to speak: I am married to the love of my life, so my actions are limited by what I can do without hurting her or myself in the process.

About my comment, well, I said it all, but here is more. Based on all of my reading of FLR material by men and women who write a blog, men need domination in more than just being forced to scrub toilets and wash dishes. They need to be dominated in the bedroom primarily. If the bedroom part does not happen or if it fails over time, the FLR is over soon afterward.

I have said that a 50-50 partnership is where nobody is in charge. Vanilla marriages are fine as long as both partners get enough out of it to maintain the momentum. Still, some sort of domination is necessary by either party to keep things going even if they keep switching roles. After all, one of them needs to initiate a good session of sex! It is not a matter of male or female superiority, but a primal need. One needs to either dominate or to submit from time to time. Anything other than that may as well be private masturbation without a partner.

As for contacting me, your comment did just fine. If you look at the top line of my blog, you will see my email address, A private conversation with you via email would be fine any time, perhaps with my wife’s approval. She trusts me, but I defer to her.