Saturday, February 5, 2011

Why Spill It?

I have dealt with this issue of Cum Shots before, but there has been no resolution. A few comments may have been revealing, but they were not enough to satisfy my need for an answer.

Regardless of the outcome, it is a man spilling his load by using his own hand is self-masturbation. This is as opposed to almost any kind of copulation or manual or oral manipulation by a partner or partners. Why would any man want to masturbate when he has a partner in sex?

Think about the words and phrases in italics above. “Outcome” is obvious: fluid produced by orgasm. “Spilling his load” is the typical in-your-face production of the male ejaculate onto some surface that is to be documented that it is really happening as if it were something virtuous. “Self-masturbation” is also obvious. He can do it without a partner. So, why involve a partner. Having a partner why not participate in some mutual satisfaction and skip the always available but less fulfilling self-gratification?

For a long time I have been looking for a video that would attract my attention and at least give me a rise. Alas, the only thing out there is whipping, cock and ball torture, and gratuitous fuck and suck. All involve so called professionals, most of whom are as believable as puppets, and as attractive as stick figures. From time to time there is ad-libbed acting on a third grade level but using profanities that somehow don’t fit. Oh, there is different genre, such as B/D, C&B torture, femdom, cuckolding, etc., but it is hard to tell where some of these begin or end, worse yet, who cares?

Getting back to my peeve of the day, I ask, “Why would a man work himself into a throe of passion with a willing partner, withdraw all stimulation at a crucial moment, and spill his juices on someone’s skin? Is that some sort of weird self-gratification? Is that the ultimate thrill? Which one of the participants gets joy out of it? How?

I have had intercourse, and I can tell you with firm conviction: I definitely do not want to interrupt at the point of orgasm, for doing so would be what is called in some segment of strict femdom “ruined orgasm”. As long as ruining the orgasm is the goal, I can see the point. Otherwise I don’t. Going a bit further one could assume that after withdrawing the man can grasp the situation and complete it using his hand. Sure, that would work. But why do it? If masturbation was the goal, why go to the trouble of involving another human or having it recorded? See the picture that I purloined from some source that is not notable. The female in the foreground looks somewhat bemused but not happy or appreciative. I share her sentiment. Who is going to clean up the mess, and why would she be asked, if indeed she was, to provide the canvas for this idiocy?

The next picture is more pathetic and disturbing. I could hit the man in the face and tell him to never come back, which is expressing my thoughts mildly. I could be interpreting the scene wrong, nevertheless, it is somehow inappropriate. She appears as if she had been coerced to participate in this ignominy. I could be with this beautiful woman and give her love and pleasure, and never even ask her to do this. Damn, some men are really asking to be punished for this, and not in a nice way.


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi SP:

I think that is mostly a device used in porno movies and long ago as a form of very ineffectual birth control. The man withdraws at the last moment and gives the audience the "money shot" so the director can tell us "yes ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls he really is coming". Now don't get me wrong. My right hand and I are very close. We have done a lot of bonding over the years. But if I were inside of a woman and making love to her there is no way in the world I would pull out at the last possible second unless, perhaps, she insisted at gun point!

Tamara said...

Well, what do you suggest? That the man should squirt off inside the woman? That he should fill her up with his slime? How disgusting! Why should a woman want to be filled with someone else's sludge that will slowly drip out afterwards. Nauseating!

Susan's Pet said...


I would have never guessed that you are right-handed.


This is tongue-in-cheek right? If not, guess how you have come to be?

Tamara said...

Oh, I thought we were speaking of pleasure here, not of procreation. Of course, reproduction works better if the semen is not spilled.
Still I would rather have disgusting fluids on my body than inside it. See my point now?

rené said...

Well, why should I deny myself one sort of pleasure, just because I've got a wife to have intercourse with? Of course it's nice to hump her till I come in her, but it's also nice once in a while to pull out and see my sperm shooting out of my cock with vigor and splattering onto the skin of my wife. Either method has it's advantages. And since she's in no way disgusted by the feeling of my sperm on her skin, I can't see the point in completely depriving me of this pleasure. To have a wife to have sex with contributes to the pleasure by adding many more possibilities of having fun - I can't understand, why I should let it narrow down my methods of gaining pleasure.


Anonymous said...

Different stroke for different folks, I guess... My Goddess prefers to watch up close as I ejaculate, so I do as she wishes.

Miss AJ said...

I have been party to regular use of the withdrawal method over the past year. Judging by the sounds he makes he is still getting a very good orgasm although he has started to mumble vasectomy so I am guessing he would rather complete his orgasm internally.

On rare occasions my partner has ejaculated on to my belly or breasts and that is guaranteed to start deep sensations of pleasure in me. It must in part be due to the loss of control that he is showing at the sight of me.

I quite like what Tamara has written. I have come to really like not having a sperm bath. It's not that it slimy so much as the smell. At least if it is deposited externally it can be easily washed off.

Susan's Pet said...


You are right. Furthermore, whether or not the fluid discharge is disgusting, a woman should not have do deal with it unless she actually desires it, or finds it less than a minor inconvenience. This was my point. The “spill” is presented from a male’s point of view usually at the expense or inconvenience of the female.


It is great when you and your partner agree on the practice. I see nothing wrong with it when the female takes pleasure in it. In fact, I rather get off on the idea of my female partner insisting for me to pull back and spill on her as a part of ruining my orgasm. It is such poetic justice!


I love your approach, “… so I do as she wishes”. That is what an FLR is about!

Miss AJ,

Your taking pleasure at observing your man loosing control because of the effect you have on him is great. His spilling his load onto you, at least in my opinion, would be a great reason to force him to lick it off your lovely skin afterward. Then again, if he stayed with you to completion, why would not you have him pleasure you orally afterward? I certainly would not refuse.

Kathy said...

Yes, thank you for commenting on my blog.
I agree with you.


Miss Lilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Milliscent said...

As was said before, the cum shot is so popular in porn because it serves as proof that the action is real.

I think it should be remembered though that some people do prefer withdrawal as a form of birth control, some men like cumming outside of a woman, and some women enjoy watching their man cum externally. We are all different, and as long as both partners enjoy what is happening that is a-ok.


Susan's Pet said...

Miss Milliscent,

I feel slightly chastised by your remark, “… We are all different …,” because I know that you are right.

We perceive situations and react to them based on our knowledge and experience. It would be narrow-minded of me to expect that others would see this subject as I do, therefore, your comment about we are all different fits. Yet, I find it difficult to accept the practice in a practical setting for the reasons that I posed. I wonder what percentage of people like and practice this act as opposed to those who think it is undesirable and against instinct even in the kinky mindset. Could this be mostly in the pornography industry as a rule?