Thursday, July 15, 2010


I enjoy reading Mistress Kathy's Blog. She is benign, and does some things to her husband that turn me on sexually, although I am not too sure that she is real: it could be one man’s fantasy. I also get a kick out of some of the discussions as a result of her postings. The latest that got me off on this kink was Money Of His Own. You will have to read it to understand my reaction to some of the comments.

Come on, guys, this is really pathetic. Aren’t you adults? Do adults need some other adult to check your exact behavior from minute to minute? So what if you buy an extra cheese burger? Is that a friggin’ sin?

I don’t understand the mentality of needing to be controlled to this extent other than the sexual part. Maybe you never grew up to be an adult, and you need the extra care. If that is the case, you should not be allowed to marry, form an adult relationship, have children, have a reasonable job, or drive a car.

This thing about not having financial means, or having a tiny allowance to buy your weekly chewing gum is ridiculous. Either you are a responsible adult, or you are a moron. I have a distant nephew who is a moron. He works at a WalMart retrieving shopping carts to earn a living with some help. He is proud of it, and I don’t think that sex is part of his enjoyment of his accomplishments. Whereas the rest of you who need care, well, I am sure that much of that is in your sexual fantasy. If you are lucky, some woman provides that by giving you one dollar a week to get your dental floss or such. As for practicality or reality of the situation, it is ridiculous. Your mother is no longer in charge of you, so get over it! If you are that stupid to deal with real things, what the hell is some assumed intelligent woman doing with you? You should be in an asylum. This whole thing is a damn fantasy.

Playing sexual games including money and other such real things is fun, and many of us do that. Just don’t tell us that it is real. Real soon you or your partner gets tired of it, and then it is over. So all the crap you wrote no longer applies. Any of us who belived in you are left with disappointment. Shame on you.


lawyer said...

Why such a condescending post? The internet and especially the D/s blogs are full of human behavior that not every body likes....So nothing new here. But I am surprised of the extend of you stating your dislike of such a harmless thing as money control. Why does it trigger so many emotions with you? Of course its not a friggin`sin to buy an extra cheesburger. But one could argue: Is there actually a "sin" at all that would allow a partner to punish, spank or even tease the other partner...As you said, we are all adults. Therefore,in the end, the whole D/s concept requires for the partners to play in one way or the other. So what is so terrible in incorporating money in the game?

Susan's Pet said...

I may have been a little harsh. But you misunderstand my ire. I did say in the last paragraph that we all play games and it is all right with me as long as you don't claim it is real and assume that it can work in real life.

My marriage was originally a MLR because my wife was naturally timid, had no experience dealing with people or with situations because of the way she was raised. I had to take charge and deal with everything. Eventually she grew up under my benign leadership to be a stronger person. However, it never occurred to me to withold money from her or to give her an allowance just because I was in charge. The subject of my post is a game that people play, which is OK as long as they admit it being a game. I liken this scenario to the so-called chastity game in which men claim that their partner forced them into a chastity device because they (the men) could not control themselves.

Mknight said...

Some may wonder why I refer to it as "our" money and not "Her" money. While my wife is most certainly the boss, and has final say over how the money is spent, we both agree that my keeping the books is the best way for her to mange our marriage. What happens is that I make sure all bills are paid on time, this includes retirement savings, what's left is up to my wife to decide how it is spent. We go over all of the paper work together, she having already looked at the bank statements, to check on my activity.
Another reason I use "our" is that it fosters a since of ownership in the relationship. The same way employees refer to there store, or office when in reality its more the property of the shareholders, or the children of the founders. A since of ownership is important as it increases loyalty, if you don't believe that just ask any sports fan about their team.
Finally as a practical measure if something were to ever happen to my wife it may prove crucial that I have access to all of our funds. While many a submissive man may fantasize about complete financial domination this is horribly unpractical. What they may not understand is that if all assets are in their wife's name, and she were to pass away suddenly it could take months for probate to be worked out especially if she did not leave a will that stipulates her husband is to inherit her possessions. These problems can be compounded if there are children from previous marriage.

Susan's Pet said...

You have a sober and realistic attitude about this interesting subject. Your relationship is the kind that can work when both of you are dedicated.

It is a fun game that we play. It can be 24/7 and close to 100 percent, but with caveats. That is why I suspect some blogs where the male or the female claims 100 percent ownership.

I wrote about this in more detail in an earlier post:

forever hers said...

if you followed kathy's story, John was using money to see Pro Dommes prior to her finding out which is why she monitored the money.

I suspect that John enjoys the lose of control and as mentioned in many of these blogs, to each there own. This lifestyle is not a one size fits all thing.

Anonymous said...

My situation with money isn't a game. It's something that happened before we entered into our arrangement because I just wasn't as fiscally responsible as she is.
Like I said over at Femdom101 if our financial situation wasn't so tight and if I was the primary bread winner instead of an at home dad who works a couple of nights a week then the situation may be different.
Actually, even when I made more money than her she still took it. Being a bartender the majority of my money was cash so I'd have $500-$1000 sitting in my dresser drawer instead of the bank. I guess that is also part of how it started. I lived in a cash world with almost no debt (no college loan or car loan or anything like that) and she lived in a world of credit and debt. I preferred to pay for things in cash and she liked to write checks to track all her payments.
Because of this she started grabbing the cash I made every night and depositing it on her way to work in the morning.
She started leaving a bit for me when I complained that I liked to have cash on hand. I guess part of my "being whipped" or "henpecked" was that I didn't argue about the little bit she left me. Partly because I always deferred to her and partly because I knew I no longer had to take care of the bills (call it laziness).
Again, this was all long before we entered into our arrangement.
Perhaps it's pathetic, but it's not too unusual, even in non D/s relationships. I know plenty of non-kink people that essentially have the same situation (people in the same industry as I am). Perhaps it's because we deal in cash, or maybe it's just people realizing that their relationship works better if one person is in control of the money.

Susan's Pet said...

Both of you are presenting real reasons for the idea. That is when I agree that the relationship works.

Kathy has been around a while to figure that out.

A different example is my wife: she has absolutely no talent for or desire to deal with money other than to spend it. As a result, I am in charge of that by default. Still, she would have my ass if I spent on things that she considers frivolous, so I don’t even try.