Saturday, August 30, 2008

Problems With Chastity Devices

Why Use A Chastity Device?

I am beginning to think that there are no true chastity devices, only tokens. Consider the origin of this. Back in the era of the Crusades a Lord left his Lady for years at a time. Whether or not she was the kind who would stray was irrelevant. He went off to pursue his needs, and left her to want her needs. So who was going to provide them? He was getting his, but was she expected to remain chaste? If she would, why? By the way, it was not the Lord who was wearing the chastity device.

So, whether or not his approach to the solution was justified, her views were not addressed. She may have been willing and able to remain chaste, but he was so insecure that he would not trust her. Then again, if she was such a flake that she would screw any male with a hard on, a chastity device was simply working the symptom, not the cause. I am just saying that on the long run, it was wrong!

Is all of this is a Big Fantasy?

Getting back to the present, I feel that it is still wrong. If you don’t trust your partner, get rid of him. You don’t need some horny schmuck who will get his jollies at the slightest provocation and give you a sexually transmitted disease as an unintended side effect.

If all you worry about is his daily masturbation, but you get all the sex you want from him anyway, why should you care?

If he is such an asshole who masturbates to the point that he has no use for you, then get him therapy or get rid of him. I mean, really, people, try to solve the problem rather than mess with the symptoms!

I don’t know what percentage of the material out there that deals with chastity is real. My guess is a few percent, if that much. Maybe one percent. The rest is male fantasy. If you want examples of fake stuff, contact me, and I will give you examples. It is far more difficult to give you true stories.

Now that I have badmouthed [the myth of] male chastity, I can get to the meat of the matter, so to speak. We are all weird in some way, and some of us are weird sexually. For example, I like CBT, D/S, serving my wife. I want to be dominated sexually, and, difficult to believe, emotionally and psychologically, as long as all that is not in a really weird way, such as really hurting someone.

I can function as a normal human. I don’t frequent prostitutes or professional dominas. I just need a little kink in my life to spice up the mundane tasks that I face daily. Love alone will not suffice. I am not Sir Lancelot. I am more like Sir Frigging Horny. Give me some of this, and I will give you a lot of what you want. Simple.

The only thing that chastity has to do with me is that I am true to my wife. That would change if she no longer wanted me. As I said, I am not Sir Lancelot, but I am just as devoted to her. But I need something in return. Love, care, food, companionship are nice and necessary. But there is the other stuff that I mentioned, part of which is the toys that were the subject of this treatise. I am fascinated with them. If MW pays attention to my interest, she can use any device she wishes for any length of time. Or not. It is her attention that I crave. I also crave the devices, but I don’t need to get too technical to illustrate my point.

The Problems

Some of you may be tired of this subject popping up at a high frequency. It is as if that is all that supposedly submissive men think about. I have said before that I am not exactly submissive, but I submit to my wife as long as she wants me to. I would love more of her control, but I must be realistic.

I have also said that we play with chastity. I love the feeling of helplessness when I know that there is a chance of her forcing me to do things. A device such as this can be subtle, such as under clothes, yet I know exactly where I stand. It can be blatant, such as when I am not wearing clothes. It is totally unnecessary for me to wear such a device because I am honorable, and if she says, “You will not touch your male parts,” I will not touch them. Not because I am physically prevented, although that in itself is a great turn on. Because I agreed to follow her order.

Some of these devices are not real, rather, they are a token of what they are supposed to be. Say, a piece of plastic that I could crush with one hand would not keep me from cheating in any way. The token part is to show her that I take it seriously enough so that I don’t try to defeat it. Then there are those that would take a lot more than a good squeeze by one hand to defeat even in the slightest manner.

As most men who are into this, and as some couples, we have gone through many devices. Some of my early homemade devices were downright silly and very primitive. We bought some over the years, used them for a while, and dismissed them. I am still trying to find one that works for me.

I find the “belt style” devices intriguing. I love to read about them, I like to see men in them. In spite of that I am not even tempted to buy one. It is something I assume that I could wear at home while being in my natural state only as a punishment or for my wife’s amusement. There are many reasons for my not wanting to have one. The most compelling is a matter of personal cleanliness. When I have to rely on the keyholder for that purpose, that is asking too much, and can be just too inconvenient.

The trivial devices such as “seven gates of hell” are strictly for D/S play. They can be sexy, fun, and cause enough pain and humiliation to make them worth the effort, but they are non-functional for chastity or orgasm control. If chastity devices have leather parts, or parts that rust or get otherwise damaged by liquids, their effectiveness and life span are limited.

Metal devices were the precursors of the now ubiquitous plastics. Back when a man did not have to worry about metal detectors picking up his hardware, a wife could send her cheating-prone hubby on a business trip with it on. She must now rely on plastic. Metal devices have class. They tend to exude an aura that plastic, especially the colorful ones, cannot match. Metal also suggests a permanence and strength, although a bolt cutter could make confetti out of it in a hurry. My favorite is stainless steel. That is not the same as chrome-plated pot metal or aluminum.

Plastics are a great innovation. They are easy to mass-produce, cheap to make, don’t set off alarms, are light weight and come in colors (yuck!). They also easily break, and are easily defeated by an unscrupulous wearer who does not mind having his fun now and paying for it later.

Variations on the theme dealing with “safety”, “security”, and functionality have come along in the form of piercings. In a way some devices take advantage of piercings and would not function well without them. In an other way the piercing was in itself a chastity device that became enhanced by the newly acquired hardware. This is one reason why I pierced my little guy. The jewelry that I can wear is barbaric, but damned sexy. It is also versatile in D/S. Just visualize me being lead by a leash attached to a Prince Albert ring that is permanently in place place. See We Are Playing Again.

My first real chastity device was a CB2000 (see Mistress Wife Is At Home ). We still use it from time to time. MW likes to vary the scenario and I am all for it. It broke, and I fixed it. With my fixes it still works as well as when it was new. However, I had a problem with long-term wear, say more than a full day. Not that I am squeamish, too sensitive, or that I can’t stand some pain and discomfort. Here is what happens. My little guy is uncut. That means a fully functional foreskin is there for all to see. Well, maybe only those who pay first. Without the cage there is no problem.

With the cage, the foreskin in place covering the head, urination tends to leave residues even after careful splashing of water onto the cage. So there is some unpleasant smell as a result. Trying to fix this problem I have pulled back the foreskin, and left the head bare, so to speak. It works because the little guy fills the space in the cage. I even get a thrill out of it, and the cleaning effort, even when I am away from home, tends to be more effective. This, however, creates another problem. My foreskin swells, and I must assume that leaving it swollen for more than a couple of days will cause some harm other than just pain. So this is not a long term solution.

We tried a CB3000 lately. It is a slight improvement in looks and size over its predecessor. I like the looks. It is sexy, but I like it less than the predecessor, because my parts will not dry as readily due to the almost solid tube. In other respects it has identical problems. My solution to this foreskin-swelling problem is to have the device off for a few hours each day. Even in a very strictly controlled Keyholding relationship this is possible if one tries. It even opens possibilities of D/S that a 24/7 device would not allow. For example, some keyholders will bindfold or handcuff a male while the device is off. A more interesting and less cumbersome approach was offered by a male in his relationship. His wife hands him a solid steel hinged collar which he locks around his neck She has the key to the lock. After that he is allowed to remove the cage. The collar remains on him until she decides otherwise, which will most likely be when the cage is reinstalled. Since he has to go out once in a while, like to work, it goes without saying that the cage goes back on unless he works at some porno shop. He did not say what would happen if he misused his cock while out of the cage, but I imagine that the issue could be addressed by the keyolder prior to the exchange of collar for cage.

MW and I are also using a strip of plastic called the Kali’s Teeth Bracelet. It may be a misnomer as far as the “bracelet” part is concerned, but it is effective to a certain extent. I could still orgasm wearing it, but no male or female would want to be, ah, entered by me, so that sort of cheating is not really feasible. This too, is a short-term device. The last time I had this on I wrote in one of my recent posts . It was on the order of three days, and MW wanted me to keep in on for another three days until we meet again (she was out of town for a week). Well, aside from the extreme pain that woke me every morning over and over again, this too caused some swelling in addition to the pinprick holes that the nasty little teeth created. My sweet and perverse MW also likes to gently knee me in the balls from time to time. Wearing this device makes that very painful for me. Sure, the pain is temporary, and hurts too much only when I have an erection. Then again I have an erection most of the time when she is around, especially when she is having fun with me.

I pointed our in an earlier posting that I have considered buying the #12A from Miss Lori’s site (see Lori's Devices). This seemed to have solved all the problems that people had with other devices. But I had a hard time visualizing how it is used. I wrote to her expressing this concern, and also that my measurements are all over the map, and that trying to fit me to any device may be futile. She answered promptly. Among other things, she said, “… Your length does not matter … The #12 series does not allow erections so your length will not change that much using this device.”

Ah " …, does not allow erections?" Where do they go? I mean, when my little guy goes from zero to seven inches in two seconds and changes from finger size to, you know, stand back. It is almost like pulling a ripcord on an inflatable boat: if you stand too close, you may get a pair of fat lips. So, how does “not allowing” work exactly? Could I be facing a bit of unintended side effects, like maybe extreme bulging in unnatural ways and places? Maybe a blowout? Miss Lori was very nice to have included a picture that demonstrated to a certain extent why length does not matter. I have not asked permission to show it, so I can’t. But it does tell me some things. (1) #12A, or equivalent variety from her toy store, is difficult to install, but once on it stays on, (2) extreme size changes of my anatomy caused by temperature variations and the effect of sexual provocation would be very exciting, but not necessarily in a good way, (3) the issue of foreskin is not addressed.

Being as handy as I am with tools, I fabricated a prototype of the #12A just to investigate the feasibility. I incurred a bit of damage, it was fun, and I can try it again, but overall my conclusions stand. Now, if I could “consumer test" this device without having to pay first, I could do it justice. It would take going through the seasons, so to speak, to give it a chance to handle reactions to temperature changes in addition to MW's presence that tends to inflate my versatile parts. But I would prefer not to spend all that money just to find out what I think I already know.

Those of you who don’t know will find this funny. My little guy and the boys change configuration to the extent that you would not recognize them from moment to moment. In cold weather the little guy pulls in to the point where I may have to search for him sometimes. The boys snuggle up with the scrotum puckering around to provide a thermal insulation. The whole package is barely there.

In warm weather, however, the picture is much different. You would not believe that you are seeing the same set of parts. The little guy is no longer little. The boys swing low.

Given these seasonal variations, I have had some real problems with the cage variety of chastity device. It becomes very pressing in cold weather. If I loosen it to accommodate the cramped parts, then the cage falls off when I get warm, such as in a shower.

I know, you can’t satisfy everybody every time. The Lori's #12 device is perfect: shiny like jewelry, barbaric, and about 100 percent effective. However, I would not want a permanent erection with it on. I would love to have this item. I would love to play with it. I would love to suffer using it. I would love to have MW teasing me with it on just to see me lose control. But dang it! It cannot be a long-term device because of the foreskin problem.

No, I will not get a circumcision. I like the little guy just the way he is. But the #12 series of chastity devices assume that there is no foreskin. I don’t see a way around that. So, I could buy one, and we would play with it, but we could not install it and then forget it for the rest of my life as some users claim. Alas, it would be just another expensive toy. Then again, aren’t they all?

I would like to know whether I am the only one with the swelling foreskin problem. Have any of you guys experienced this? Of course, if your thing is already cut, you would not have the answer (sort of like a woman, and I don’t mean disrespect, not knowing about the direct effect of Kali). Still, I am listening.

Being Humbled Again

MW has been doing some unrelated research and came across "information" which is relevant to the above material.

I am convinced that we must not believe everything we read on the Internet. I have been saying this for years. So what do I do? I succumb to the very temptation that I try to discredit. This time it has to do with our interpretation of chastity devices. In specific, their origin. I admit that I did not research it before presenting it as the basis of my post. The bottom line is, according to this "information" the medieval folks did not invent the chastity device as we know them today. It is a nice legend, but we must give credit where credit is due. Then again, I have not checked the authenticity of this new "information", so I may still be wrong. If you are interested, check out this

It is probably more credible then what we find on the websites of vendors of chastity devices, or blogs by proponents of male chastity.

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