Sunday, December 23, 2007

Unintended Exposure

Why Are We Doing This?

I began my blog a short time ago, so I know that if I keep it, the style will develop over time. At this time I want any photograph that I post made by me. These photos are not in the public domain, and I need not get anybody’s permission. Well, that is not entirely true. MW must approve them prior to posting otherwise I am in deep trouble. But that’s another topic.

I made a comment on one of my favorite blogs the other day. In it I suggested that we, the readers, would like to see some personal photographs of the couple whose relationship inspired the blog. I did not mean that they should present full-frontal-nudity, just some segments that don't give away one's identity but give a hint of the person behind it. The polite response by the author was “definitely not.” My intention in this posting is to kick around this idea and see what we do and why we do it.

I can think of some possible reasons for posting these blogs in the first place, and why we want to keep it private yet we reveal our most private activities within them. I am not a psychologist, not even a lay psychologist, so don’t take my ranting as authoritative.

Why Do I Read These Blogs?

All this got started because I am fascinated with the idea of serving women. I know, I can’t do that in my real life, at least not with the obvious sexual content that I imagined. Yet I also know that I have been serving women all my life. Zeroing in on this narrow aspect was like eating my favorite food. It was and is possible to overdose.

The two aspects of the same idea are (1) serving women in a sexual manner: in the bedroom, so to speak, and (2) as a life style that carries over to everyday situations. I say again, that either one is unlikely to happen in my life except in the specific case of serving my wife. However, I needed the stimulation offered by these ideas, because my life over the years did not really provide that.

Then, at some point, Female Led Relationships became a hot topic, and I knew that I must get something out of the idea. In a fortuitous way it helped to solve a problem in our marriage. I am not saying that one day I addressed my wife, Honey, let’s do FLR,” and she eagerly replied,

“Oh my, I really want to do FLR. Let’s begin immediately!”

It was more of a slow development of a full time FLR applied part time, if you can make sense of that. Reading these blogs gave me ideas, and stroked my id, although in reality, I have never masturbated over them. It was like reading sexy novels, only much, or some, of it was true. It was like peeking into someone’s house who had left the curtain open on purpose. It was like watching a real D/S scene by invitation.

Why Do I Write This Blog?

Because MW told me to do it. Actually, I did want to write it earlier, but it was not until she set it up for me that I started. My pessimistic side would suggest that she just wanted me to keep busy and not bother her. My optimistic side thinks that she actually wanted me to express some of my thoughts so that she knew more of what went on in my devious mind.

One reason for this blog is that I love to write. Of course, it need not be about my sex life. I could do as well reporting the sex life of a walrus that took the wrong turn off Newfoundland. So, I will try to come up with the real reason: I think it is because it feels better than just to read about it. It feels good because I am NOT writing a novel in which I could make up anything that is plausible in the context. It feels good because I like the fact that I am in an FLR and can write about it to others who are interested in it and seek out this particular subject.

Why Do I Try To Remain Anonymous?

MW would do bad things to me if I were to show anything on my site that could connect either of us to our identity. Personally I am not worried, since I don't owe anybody anything. This life style no longer has the stigma that we might expect. I guess the part that we really would not want to share is the exact details of our life as opposed to the life style itself. Yet we are doing it within this open forum.

Inadvertently revealing my identity would be somewhat like becoming exposed in my underwear in public: underwear is little different from a swim suit, but it is not something that I want to share with everyone. I imagine that one's clients, employers, or colleagues could use this information to destroy an important relationship. In my case that is not too great a concern, but I don’t really want to deal with it. Besides, MW would be unhappy. I don’t think that this is more complicated than what I said.

Why Do I Want to Reveal the Smallest Details about our Lives ?

Well, I don’t really. For example, If I have a temporary problem of, shall we say, digestive nature, I will try not to broadcast it. Yet, if I have a temporary problem of losing erection under the most inopportune circumstances, I report it. I try to be circumspect about what I share. But, once I am committed to talk about what most people keep in the bedroom, it seems that I lose much inhibition. As long as I stay within bounds of good taste and avoid crude and obscene rendition, I should be all right. Of course, this covers a lot of territory.

One thought occurs to me as I write this. When reading other blogs of this nature, the respondents often comment with genuine care. They appear as sympathetic beings, mostly friends. They want to hear the details. The writers of the blogs are willing to detail these very personal issues about themselves and their relationship. These are details that they would not discuss with their personal friends unless the friends were known to be in the same life style. It is like we trust the readers even though we don’t really know them. This is very strange, but I see evidence of it all over the Internet. So, I am just one of those who are trusting in this particular instance.

Nobody is 100 percent or zero percent exhibitionist. I put myself in the low teens. I have been known to take a chance on stepping outside in my natural state. I am not saying that I am into flashing or streaking. Just that in some very narrow circumstances I might be willing to share some private aspects of my life. I think that I am doing exactly that via this blog. The redeeming quality is that “Nobody has to see it or read it who does not want to.” Hm. Where did I hear that before?

One other way to look at this is like a puzzle whose one very interesting piece is presented to the viewer, and the viewer is challenged to guess what the whole object is. It is, in a way, the same as relying on anonymity.

The information, whether textual or photographic, is revealing of our selves. Some people who know us could derive the whole from the pieces. Yes, we are taking a chance. It is thrilling, yet relatively safe. In the grand scheme of life, it is trivial.

I want to share with you a memorable quote,
"I must play many roles, but the people only know the parts I play in public. Only a few select friends know my private parts,”
said the leading female character (Brenda Vaccarro) in the movie, Zorro, The Gay Blade. I can say the same thing. It is true that I have posted photos of my private parts, but to the best of my knowledge, few people would recognize them. So, as public as they are now, they remain private, and vice versa. That is the reason why we do what we do. We get away with sharing our secrets, and vicariously living others’, yet we remain anonymous most of the time. Given that, I do not kid myself. I have a distinctive writing style. Those who know me in person would connect the dots in no time. For this reason, I regrettably need to skip over some details, be they textual or photographic. And if I am caught in the act, I can say, “Who? Me? No resemblance!”

Questions to Ponder

Why do we read these blogs?
Why do we write these blogs?
Why do we try to remain anonymous?
Why do we want to reveal some of the smallest details about our lives to strangers?
Would any of these questions be moot if we could be completely free with our life style?

1 comment:

helpmate hubby said...

Yes all of those questions would be moot if we didn't have to be secretive, but alas in this day and age we still do as ours is still a lifestyle which could lend us to lack of career opportuinities if it was known about us by the general public.

i write b/c i love the FLR lifestyle and want to inspire others to adopt the FLR lifestyle if thet are interested in doing so. i read blogs such as yours as i find it fascinating to read about how other submales live and how FLR principals have applied in their marriages. We give intimate details of our lives to others i think, b/c often we feel alone in our wanting to be Wife led husbands and hope that by revealing our nature to others, other submales will let us know more about themseleves as well. Through learning more about each other we strengthen the bonds of our own desire to submit to the Women we love.

That's my input anyway.

BTW If you would like to join my blog send me an email at