Sunday, May 10, 2009

Master Bation

He Is Not As Bad As The Rumor Says

There is a lot of perversion of the idea of masturbation. Somehow people decided that it is wrong to masturbate. Under some circumstances it may be true, but generally it is all right.

Let’s get some basics out of the way before getting into the fun stuff. Does masturbation do any harm? If yes, what?

Regardless of the gender, age, or whether done in private or shared, except in extreme cases it is benign. One might call it a renewable resource with a kick.

I know it maybe sinful in some religions, but I am talking physiological or psychological, not philosophical effects. Anyone care to comment?

Since I heard no comments, I will proceed.

The Single Person

Assume that you are a single adult, and have no relationship with a partner who would be willing to participate in sex, or worse even, with whom you would rather not participate. If you feel the need to masturbate, and you don’t satisfy it, well, you are missing some fun.

Extending the above scenario, assume that you do have an occasional sex partner, but you just don’t get enough. Does it hurt anybody if you take things in hand from time to time? Unless you do it to the extent that “you can’t perform” when expected, what is the harm?

Oh, so maybe you do that, and don’t measure up when challenged? I would have to ask the reason for both: why do you masturbate to that extent, and why you don’t measure up. I could write essays on both, but will skip that for now.

In A Committed Relationship

Now we have more restrictions and expectations. If you have an exclusive relationship with your sex partner, then he or she will have something to say about your handling your affairs without some guidelines. But let’s look at some examples. I know, some of you are already thinking of sex forced on you when in prison. Go ahead, have your fantasy. As committed as that relationship may be, it is not what I am relating here.

Is it possible that you are in a vanilla relationship, and you and your partner are not well matched for frequency of sexual needs. We could measure the needs as the number of orgasms you or your partner requires per period of time. I would say that is true way more than half the time. This is where masturbation comes in handy, so to speak. It does not detract from the less sexually charged person’s enjoyment, but gives some gratification to the horny one. On the long run, all may be well unless one or the other is carried to an extreme.

I have never heard from anyone complaining that his wife or girlfriend masturbates so much that she loses interest in him. Much of the time the man is usually the horny one who wants more sex, and the woman may be satisfied with his occasional handling his own needs. If this ends up to be an exclusive affair that is shutting out the partner in favor of self-gratification, then the relationship is no longer viable without some modification. This would be truly an extracurricular affair.

In a D/S Relationship

D/S without sex is like scratching yourself when you don’t have an itch: after a while it becomes irritating. In the famous words of Doctor Charles Montague in the movie, High Anxiety, “Too much punishment, not enough discipline” (he wanted less whipping, and more personal attention). Sure, it can happen, but when it does, it is time to exit.

So we are finally at good old D/S with sex. Here is where the “rubber meets the road”.

In an FLR the female can do anything she wants, but the male is subject to her rules. Assuming that you subscribe to that (if you don’t, I don’t know why you are reading this), we still need to look at the reasons for which male masturbation is restricted or prohibited. There may be many, and for a quirky reason I will list some here. The list is provocative and farcical, but not exhaustive.

  • He would do it to such excess that he would lose interest in her when she needs it.
  • He would do it only occasionally, but the mistress would feel cheated, as if he were performing adultery (see No Masturbation!!!).
  • He no longer owns his cock, so he must not be allowed to pleasure it.
  • He must never be allowed orgasm without her approval.
  • He must be punished for past transgressions against her.
  • She gets off on tormenting him through this limitation.
  • Slaves must not be allowed to have pleasure.

Any of these ideas is as ridiculous as the next, but when implemented in context, two people can have a lot of fun with it. I am not talking about pathological cases of self-inflicted chastity. It’s fine if that is all you can have, but we are really addressing a relationship between (at least) two people.

In this FLR masturbation means female or male doing it. Female masturbation is OK, any number of times, anywhere, any time. Male masturbation is to be done, if at all, by her rules.

Yeah, well, sort of. For example, “How would you stop a man from doing this?”

“Chastity devices,” you say?

I suppose it could work. I know the implications. The problem is, the reason for the device would have to persist, and the enforcer of the device would have to be active in the care and feeding of the subject. One cannot simply lock the cage or belt on the poor schmuck, and set him loose. Even if he really desires wearing this device, at some point it becomes like wearing an artificial limb when you still have the real thing: pointless.

Chastity devices can prohibit, or at least make very difficult the act of masturbation, but they have to be used in an appropriate context. If the prevention of masturbation is the reason, maybe the whole premise of FLR is at jeopardy. After all, a submissive man can be told, “Do not masturbate!” and that would be the end of it. If he disobeys, he is not submissive enough, and he needs to be …

And here is where we get wrapped around the axle. I am not trying to make fun of this odd relationship. After all, I have experienced, and still do, much of it. But I am suggesting that none of this is real. All are wonderfully sexual and sensual games that can be part of a lifestyle for years. But it can also change in a moment. It is because it is consensual, and that is great. There are no rules other than what the two of you agree. Ignore anything other people tell you unless it has to do with “don’t do this or your […] will fall off.” I am all for experimentation, but I don’t want to be the posthumous recipient of one of the Darwin Awards.

The bottom line is, masturbation is beneficial, and don't anybody believe otherwise.

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