Friday, November 28, 2008

Never Mind What I Said!

MW and I have our ups and downs and shared minor annoyances. My suggestion to her is to fix them in a very simplistic way, and usually on the spot. By "simplistic" I mean to have me correct whatever I did or did not do to her satisfaction, and then follow it up with some form of discipline if necessary. By "on the spot" I mean that she could have her way, and avoid hours of festering doubt and anger.

Yes, I know, “I am simply suggesting how she should behave,” which is essentially topping from the bottom. Maybe. Speaking of “bottom”, when she does decide to punish or discipline me, my “bottom” usually bears the brunt of it. Does not happen often, but when it does, I am the first to know it.

There are two things going on here. My proclivity for hand spanking is a given. When she tells me to place myself face down across her knees I know that she loves me. My only concern is that she hurts her bare hands while giving me joy. She can’t seriously hurt my buns with her wonderful hands, no matter how hard she hits. Yet I am sure that the impact is not good for her hands. So I have suggested to her that as much as I love the attention and the experience, she should spare her hands the pain.

The other thing on the subject is that I enjoy pain only in limited context, for example, the temporary application of tit clamps while I serve her. Pain imparted by her cane, whip, paddle, and crop when she uses it for punishment (or her pleasure) is not something I desire. I welcome it because by doing it she is telling me that she cares. The best part of that is when it is over.

Back to “Never Mind What I Said.” Whether or not she fixes the problem on the spot is not relevant to this statement. There is a second part to it.

Just Do What I Meant!

The second part is “Just Do What I Meant!” What was perfectly clear to MW when she told me to do something may have been clear to me also. Unfortunately for me, what she meant was not what I understood. What I understood was what she said. This goes back to the now cliché quote, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” Although I don’t subscribe to the idea of it, I understand that we are different. My mind works with logic and data. Paraphrasing from an old anecdote, when someone tells me to “Get me a spade” I get a spade, and not “A fucking shovel.” And there is the rub.

MW likes to speak in metaphors. She loves to hint rather than suggest or command. To me her hints are to be taken literally. So when I execute her hints, I invariably fail to execute what she really meant although did not say. She is aware of this since we have discussed it many times over the years. Yet she is still does not just grab me by the balls and say, “Now see here, do this and that, and do it now!” Not that I need to be grabbed by the balls to do things for her, but I would not object. It is just a figure of speech…

I think that our situation is like a human with a pet dog. Her being the human, I being the dog. She as the owner of the dog can try to train the animal to respond to her commands. The trick is to give the commands consistently until the animal truly understands the command and the required response. A hint instead of the command will confuse the dog.

The basic reason for this is that the dog has limited intelligence, and cannot be expected to read the nuances of some esoteric request from his mistress. The dog is not capable of that. Whereas, the mistress is capable of giving the command in ways that the dog cannot misunderstand. Do that, and both are happy.

So, I am still hoping that she will treat me more like a dog, and less like her peer. Well, at least in this respect. We could get kinky and elaborate on the mistress-dog relationship. But that is a subject for another post.


lethrs said...

I completely agree with you here. I can tell you, the biggest disagreements, and even the one all out "fight" my Mistress and I have had in the year we have been together have come from not dealing with issues in real time.

I dont think its topping from the bottom, I think its more about being part of a relationship.

Anonymous said...

Yes, lethrs is right, and so are you !
Its a case of "brain differences" how she thinks is not for us to understand, you will never be able to understand her every wim.
While driving in Europe (we are in Australia) she said turn left ? which I did only to find that she meant right !!Lets just say we had fun, on that trip.

We sign our rights away through puting them in charge, so we will never win, from the bottom or otherwise,......its all part of the road less travelled,.....we are all on a journey.
Enjoy the trip.
Barney @ LnK