MW and I have not been having sex lately having to do with her long procrastination over her planned surgery and then subsequent surgery and recovery. Not that I find that a reasonable excuse to not having fun on the side. We could have all kinds of fun together in other ways.
The little guy turns on me during the night and the early morning hours. He becomes the big guy and entices me to do things. Damn! I don’t want to get up during the night and go to the bathroom to satisfy him. He is an unreasonably demanding ass!
I could have fun all by myself, as most of you have done so. The problem is, there is no challenge. Most of the times that I decide, “I will pleasure myself, and be done with it, and then attend to whatever MW needs or wants,” is only partly satisfied. Yes, I can attend to whatever MW needs or wants later, but I have a hard time getting it up without provocation.
The problem is psychological, not physiological. Since I spend most of the night with a raging hard on, I know that the equipment works. Trying to get it up while fantasizing about this and that ends up fizzling out. It still works once in a while, but not as regularly as it used to do. Of course, with MW’s help it would be more workable.
Forget pornography! It sickens me. I have absolutely no use for the shots of fuck-fuck-fuck, suck-suck-suck, and the usual kinks on the side. It’s not that I would not participate if the occasion arose, just that, watching insidious and blatant fornication in any form leaves me cold. The purveyors of pornography have taken the essence of the experience out of life, and presented it as the only thing. Meanwhile, life goes on without the essence. Reminds me of the cartoon movie, “The Dark Crystal” in which the supernatural entities were split between two opposed characters: the evil, rotten, deserving to be destroyed skeksies, and the benign but boring and useless mystics. Apart they died of needing their other half. At the end, they re-formed, and together, they lived.
Pornography is the skeksies of our reality. The goodness is missing. Yet, without the skeksies’s input the mystics are also doomed. Love, warmth, and goody feelings will fix some problems, but will not move the world for you. You need to mesh your evil and good sides to get anything done.
MW and I have become mystics, and without our evil counterparts we are doomed. We need to get some evil things going.
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Hi SP:
I can relate to a number of things in this post. I have no interest in traditional pornography either. It leaves me cold. I have a huge collection of femdom erotica but even that does little for me anymore. In order to truly enjoy an orgasm I really need Her Majesty to be involved in some way. Vanilla sex has become problematic since she underwent menopause but we have many other ways just as you say. BDSM and D/s give us a much wider variety of activities to choose from which is very fortunate. I can very much identify with your feeling that you need to be wicked sometimes or some of the magic in the relationship just fizzles. Sweet gentle worship is the norm in our relationship but every once in a while we need to really "kick out the jams!" ;-)
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