Slow Going

In September 2008 I first mentioned that MW would require surgery. She has planned it, and did some preliminary medical procedures to get to the point when the deed would be done. Things did not turn out well. Unrelated issues got in the way. Then there was her perfectionist approach dictating that all must be well before she embarks on this frightening and potentially dangerous journey. This year she decided to pursue it again, and re-started her effort with the medics.

Meanwhile she had scheduled another romantic getaway in another state for us. Her reasoning was, “I get the surgery out of the way, then all will be well, and we will have sex as we did before.” It is endearing to think that she could and would do that.

I am more of a realist. I know that I can depend on myself. I also know that when one or more persons are in the scenario, and the action of one depends on response of the other, things aren’t done as I would like to have them. Considering that I am not in charge of who, what, and where for this case, we are at the mercy of the system. Sure, it will work eventually, but not within our desired time frame. As the weeks went by, she could see that her surgery and subsequent recovery would not happen before our romantic getaway. I assured her that the important issues were for her to be well and completely recovered. We could still have the trip, but the surgery will likely be done after that.

During some pre-surgery tests the doctor came up with two potentially troublesome discoveries. We are still waiting for the evaluation and further tests. The way it looks, there is no chance for the surgery before the trip. It is also possible that we will have to cancel the trip in case the tests indicate a need for urgent response.

I know that I have not been writing about our usual great sex lately. It is because all has been on hold. We still share a lot, but they are less sexually oriented. MW is worried, and that makes it more difficult to think about the pending surgery. I am careful not to even hint about what we have missed all this time. She has enough on her mind.