Saturday, June 4, 2011

My Case of Service Oriented Submission

I have not talked about this much on my blog, but the relationship I have with my wife can be called a service oriented submission. It does not resemble to a large degree what Rika had presented. I will present it from my point of view, for I don’t know whether my wife considers this relationship as service oriented submission. In any case, I can only guess about her point of view, which I will mention later.

I do home and structure maintenance, yard work, cleaning, etc. I do new projects, improvements, and all the work for her when she needs help on some art project or such. She never has to prompt me to do such work, it just gets done. Occasionally she points out something that I may not be doing right. Sometimes she does some work because my results may not be entirely satisfactory or up to her standards.

We live in a semi-rural area, outside of town, on a large lot. We have many pets. Twice daily I feed, water, dispense medication, and clean pet areas. Every few days or as often as necessary I do major cleaning. I take pets to the vet for checkups, etc. I keep up with all schedules associated with them, and make plans for someone to do the pet maintenance when MW and I are gone on trips once or twice a year.

We have no opportunity to use public transportation. She prefers not to drive a vehicle in general, so I drive her everywhere. We do all the shopping together, doctors’ appointments, her art business, restaurants, and family visits. At home she has me fetch things for her from downstairs or upstairs, drinks, snacks, loading the clothes drier, folding clothes, etc.

She has no interest in accounting, bookkeeping, investments, tax preparation, banking and such, so all that reverts to me. We do discuss major decisions, but about the details I just give her the bottom line when she asks for it. Everything is available for her to see, but her mind is on other things. I do tell her when we are short of funds between paydays to try to avoid running out. I don’t buy anything for myself without first discussing it with her.

She likes to cook, so she does most of our meals. My involvement in nutrition preparation is limited to barbecues, drinks, refreshments, snacks, and my breakfasts and lunches. She spends her time any way that she wants to. She, for some reason I don’t know, prefers to do the clothes washing, and hand over to me the drying and folding. Fine with me.

I deal with everybody outside the home at her request. Only on rare occasions does she need to participate, typically when her presence is required by a third party. Otherwise I make all phone calls and deal with authorities and vendors.

I am willing to do a lot more, but that would be up to her. When she asks, I comply unless the required action would be grossly impractical, in which case I try to present suitable alternatives.

Now, I ask you, “Which part of the above is not service oriented submission?” I don’t get paid for this, for we live in a community property state, and we are married. As for other compensations, well read on.

Next installment: “The Events Leading up to This Scenario”


Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi SP:

That certainly sounds like service oriented submission to me. Every relationship has a slightly different flavor. Those who fantasize about this sort of thing may imagine themselves dressed in a frilly maid's outfit, their wife following behind them whip in hand to dispense the white glove treatment. But who's fantasy is that really? Probably not the woman's. She would much prefer to have obstacles removed and chores done without having to think about it. I am sure your wife is very pleased with the service you provide.

Miss AJ said...

I can't help thinking about the Five Love Languages when I read this. Then my thinking splinters off to consider that another submissive male might demonstrate his submission through one of the other languages.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with HMP. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, well...

The important thing is that your relationship works for the two of you, not how it is defined or labeled.

Sounds like the two of you have something that works for you both.

Wishing you the best.


rené said...

Hello, SP!

Hell, yes! This definitely is service oriented! No doubt of that. I admire you for all the energy and your obviously efficient usage of time. Great job!

I'm looking forward to read what's your wife's attitude to all that. Until we know about it, I'm unsure about the D/s-aspect. From what we know so far, it could also be a case of "service oriented vanilla", couldn't it?

So, I'll stay tuned to read more about it.

Have a nice day,

Dana Kane said...

Yours sounds like a beautifully symbiotic relationship.
Having just found your blog, I am enjoying it thoroughly. I look forward to reading more.

- Dana Kane

Susan's Pet said...


Thank you for staying with me through these unexciting times. I know that half of this is self-caused. I could take a more positive approach and keep trying. Maybe in my next life.


You are right, but sometimes I even wish for the “frilly maid’s outfit”- type fantasy fulfillments instead of the total lack of play into which we have stumbled.

Miss AJ,

I don’t want to misunderstand your comment, nor do I want to dismiss it because I don’t understand it. Please explain it.

Serving B,

Thank you for your well wishes. The relationship works. She often tells me about what her friends confide in her with respect to their partners. These men are selfish, lazy, inconsiderate, and some outright mean. She is very happy with me and my servitude.


I think you have it figured out. As far as sex and D/S are concerned, we have reverted to and then way beyond “vanilla”.

Dana Kane,

Thank you for your nice comment. She does take care of me otherwise, and we get along beautifully.