Thursday, May 26, 2011

My Service Oriented Submission Revealed

In this series of posts I will explain the reasons for some of my views that one could call, among other things, jaundiced. I prefer to call it experienced. I have experienced good things. I have had expectations come to fruition, and then subsequent frustrations. I have experienced the irony of many submissive man’s dreams: chastity and denial. I will now put this into the context of my reality. The subjects I will present are
  • Formalized Service Oriented Relationship
  • My Case of Service Oriented Submission
  • The events Leading up to This Scenario
  • What Is Left?

 Formalized Service Oriented Relationship

 
Looking over my earlier postings there is evidence of evolution of my views. I may be contradicting my earlier pontifications, but I have to say some things. I don’t know whether I am experiencing an early onset of senility or a late acquisition of wisdom that seems to have afflicted me. Nevertheless, my thinking is evolving.
 
The moment I returned to Rika’s book pecipitated this revelation. When I first read this book I was enamored by her views, her applied methods, and what she was trying to teach to would-be-dominant females who may not have had any interest in domination other than from time to time in the bedroom. A few years downstream, as I mentioned in my previous post after re-reading of her book “Uniquely Rika” I became disenchanted with her approach to handling her submissive men. Her method is unworkable in general. Her main theme, service oriented submission is being discussed in blogs lately. In most cases it is with the na├»ve view that I presented in my early posts. 
 
One of these blogs is different. I was trying to catch up with the postings of one of my blogosphere friends, Scott, who appears wanting to work with his wife Em to turn his voluntary servitude into more service oriented submission. See I always Want More written by Em. If the direct link does not work, try to navigate back to the March 20, 2011 post. Their situation, however, is much different from what Rika advocates. For one thing, Scott and Em are real in a real life D/S marriage. Em seems to like mental torture by cuckolding, mild humiliation, and promises of physical punishment. The promised punishment may be for real or perceived misdeeds of Scott, or simply because she needs to unwind after a stressful week by whipping, binding, caging, and doing other delectable treats with Scott the lucky target. Given all that, the only resemblance to Rika’s method is the name: service oriented submission. She actually wants Scott to get off on serving her regardless of what she does to or for him in return. There is no problem, however. Scott is perfectly willing to hone his skill at gracious service to his loving wife, for he knows that she needs it, and she never neglects him. In their relationship her motivation is self-satisfaction just like Rika’s. The difference is that she actually enjoys treating Scott. Unlike in Rika’s relationship, these are not “rare” or “occasional” gifts unrelated to Scott’s behavior. There is love and satisfaction for both parties.
 
The unique case of Rika's requires two people of specific nature. One, selfish and uninvolved, devoid of love or attachment to a submissive. Her only investment is the time she had put into training him. The other requirement is a man who remains satisfied to serve her in all respects for an occasional crumb tossed his way that he can lick off the floor. He needs no recognition, no reciprocation of feelings, no safety, no escalation of pleasure, no evolution of the situation, no chance to state his needs. You can see how difficult it would be for two people to find each other and, especially, to stay together to fulfill these requirements. What she has is a man with no soul. What remains of his character is like the product of breaking a wild horse: he serves well and willingly, but his spirit is gone. Regardless of how good a boot-licker he is, at some point she would become bored with him. What happens then? Does she begin to pay attention to him and challenge him in ways other than adding more mind-numbing drudgery to his daily routine? That is unlikely, for that would be changing her basic premise of the service oriented submission that requires total servitude in exchange for absolutely no reward or recognition. The alternative is to get rid of this slave and find another.
 
She mentions communication, but then reverts to communicating her way: She tells, he listens. That is not communication. That is stating a request by one party with no recourse by the other. While Rika still had her blog up I once asked her a question. “I sometimes have problems that need to be discussed with my wife. If we follow your rules, I may never be able to voice them. How do I let her know?” She answered, “You don’t. That would be topping from the bottom.” I took her answer as trivial, and never asked another question from her.
 
Next installment: “My Case of Service Oriented Submission”

 

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