Update On The Events Of Last Week

There are a number of items about which I wish to talk to bring you up to date on developments.


Jason’s Deliverance

This is a femdom book. If you like female led relationships, strong women, Dominant female/Submissive male interaction, I think that you will like this book. If you would like to serve a woman with a strong hand, you need to read this. If you like a story with hardship, romance, and triumph, you definitely will enjoy this.

I have very much enjoyed writing this book. It is published under the pseudonym, “Jason Worth”, who is also the main character. I have included real characters who have relationships other than the usual “hump, hump, hump,” “suck, suck, suck”, and “whack, whack, whack” scenario depictions. The story is real (well, you decide!) and romantic, but with a purposeful D/S kick in favor of the female on the long run. It involves people whom you could know and care about or would be happy to destroy. It presents the transformation of a shallow young man into a person of value while titillating you with the details of his adventures. There is some incidental violence, but that is done to make the story compelling and true. There is servitude, honor, purpose, loyalty, submission, and love in addition to the obvious background.

To find this book you can go to http://www.pinkflamingo.com/and browse for the title, or go directly to an excerpt that gives you a flavor of the book: Excerpt from "Jason's Deliverance" at Pink Flamingo from which you can access the book. If you like it, I would welcome your giving your approval of it on your own blog or at least by your comments on mine. More such books may be in the queue.

Surgery1: I need some attention from some specialists that I had to postpone because MW and I had taken a scheduled trip. Next week, however, I will attend to it, although I despise oral surgery. In this case it may be necessary.

Surgery2: MW’s surgery is still pending some issues, but we are zeroing in on it. The trip put all that on hold also, so she will have a busy week next week just as I.

Trip: MW and I did one of our infrequent short vacations in a charming town that we had liked before. This trip was also great, but after a week we are happy to be back at home. She was planning to do another piercing on me, this time a dydoe variety. I could tell that she really wanted it, but I also felt that she was not ready for it probably because of the distractions. I set her mind at ease saying, “Let’s do this when we don’t have anything else to worry about.

Books Versus Movies: I may have pontificated about this before, but I need to set the stage for what I have revealed above.

I like to read as opposed to seeing movies or videos. I define movies as visual depiction of stories with mostly believable people and plot. They can be drama, comedy, biography, even cartoons and fairy tales. Movies usually involve writers, producers, directors, actors, different kinds of professionals, and usually someone with money to make all that possible.

What I am not including is what is generally termed videos, which may be a misnomer, or at least, doing injustice to a true video that is somewhat like a movie, only less. Then there are videos with no plot, gratuitous sex or violence whether faked or real, and of low quality production.

Now that I have defined my visual input to story telling, I want to say this: “As much as I like movies, they cannot convey the depth of a story the way books do.”

“Shocking!” you say. Maybe so, but movies rely on what can be conveyed visually, and often skip over what actually makes a story. That is exactly why movies based on books detach themselves from the true story line and end up with shallow special effects at the expense of what the writer of the book so eloquently conveyed. In my vast experience with books and movies, my rule is, “Never see a movie based on a book that you have read and liked!” For example, I read the book, Battlefield Earth by L. Ron. Hubbard. It was a bit two-dimensional, but I was still fascinated with it. I formed a real mental relationship with the characters and the people they represented. Then there was the subsequent movie based on the book. Result: no resemblance.

Getting back to my original line of thought, I again say, “I prefer books.” I can immerse myself in their depth, and visualize all that I think the writer is saying. My imagination fills in the gaps, I experience it to be real enough to feel what the characters feel, and experience what they do. Some of this can be done in a movie, just don’t try to depict what was written in the book. Many people will be angry about the shallow attempt no matter how much money was spent on it.

This reasoning supports my preference for books even more. Writing a book is by itself a great adventure by the author. He feels as if he is creating life. The characters are his children. He is responsible for giving them attributes that enable them to function. It is godlike! A book will take effort for research and investment in time, but nowhere near the amount expended for a movie. Yet, for the reader, it can be more effective entertainment. You be the judge.

Your Standard Of Beauty

We all have expectation of beauty when it comes to the human. Beauty is subjective. It depends on ethnic and cultural influences on the person making this judgement. Early subjection to certain humans make a tremendous impact on our later preferences. I would love to research it and write a book. Alas, my time is limited to things that need my attention now, so the book will have to wait. For now I am doing a quick survey to at least show a preference. It does not include facial features, skin color, or race. It is mostly a perception of the body.

I have added another poll to my blog. In this I am interested in finding out your preferences for beauty. I had to split the poll in order to end up with reasonable sorting of the responses. For example, if the poll was dumped into one, and I ask, “Your gender: (1) Female, (2) Male, (3) Bisexual, … and then the actual poll questions,” there is no stopping you from clicking more than one answer, which would make the calculation of respondent percentages invalid. In the first part I try to get an idea of who is voting. The actual choice to make is as follows:

• Female Heterosexual
• Female Homosexual
• Male Heterosexual
• Male Homesexual
• Bisexual mostly – I will swing either way, as opposed to “I could be forced to do it” (hell, most of us would be glad to be forced).

In the actual part of the preferences survey I tried to limit the number of alternatives, yet express a range that you could choose as the best that represents your feelings. For example, you might have a range between “Soft and trim” and “Abundantly curvaceous”. Choose one. This is anonymous, and you are not committing to a relationship here except in your fantasy, so don’t be shy. I know it is difficult. If a range of females were to offer themselves covering all this, with my wife’s permission, of course, I would have great difficulty to choose. But, If I limit it to, say, a weekend bout, then the choice would be easier.

Here is the actual survey: 

• Very thin - as in “supermodel” thin with bones nearly visible through the skin.
• Thin and trim - naturally thin, but not emaciated
• Trim and muscular - thin rather than heavy, but obviously muscular (not the heavy-weight-lifting necessarily)
• Soft and trim - trim, but with some obvious softness
• Soft and curvaceous - curves rather than trim, but not heavy
• Abundantly curvaceous - somewhat overweight, any shape
• Large and proportional - abundant without out of proportion parts
• Large and emphasized - abundant with some emphasized parts, such as breasts, hips, derriere
• Emphasized parts - anything with emphasized parts

The above is presented from a mostly heterosexual male’s point of view, so I skipped the preferences for the male attraction. If any of you have a constructive comment for me to poll preferences for the male in a similar fashion, please give me your list, and we could go from there. Your list should be limited to categories that range from here to there, so that I can make any alternative exclusive. For example, “Tall, dark and handsome” versus “Tall blonde and masculine” are not good alternatives, for they overlap. Please let your creativity and fantasy go to work, and we will have fun with it.

By the way, you may vote more than once. For example, if you are so versatile that you just cannot dismiss preferences for, say, “Abundantly curvaceous” and “Emphasized parts”, then by all means vote twice. Your votes will not dilute the preferences, but weigh the trend toward type.

Evolution

This has little to do with the eternal controversy of evolution versus creation. My current emphasis is on this definition by Merriam Webster: “ Evolution is the process of developing”.

I have done a lot of pontification since I started this blog. Some of it may have made sense. I have learned a few things since then. I can sum them up in this statement: “Nothing remains the same, whereas, everything changes.” You may have to think about that a bit.

When you think that you have an FLR figured out and it is working just fine, stuff happens, and the “just fine FLR” is derailed, or at best, shuttled off to some seldom or never used spur. Before you know it, all things having to do with FLR don’t seem that important any more. You have real things to do that don’t care who is in charge.

There is the other aspect of FLR, the basis of the whole scheme: sex play. Interestingly, you can have one without the other, and never get involved in the movement for female leadership. It can just happen. However, in most FLRs you end up in the doldrums without the sex play dominated by the female. Then it is over. You don’t have it any more, and when you read from other people who are still struggling to steer it into the wind, you lose patience. You see what you used to do. You see what they are doing wrong. You see the doldrums ahead for them too.

Some escape the inevitable. Those are the ones where the woman is naturally dominant, and the man is at least somewhat submissive. As for the rest, well, I am sure you have seen many FLR blogs come and go. They speak for themselves.

This is what I meant by evolution. We don’t maintain status quo for long. That is reserved for well-maintained machines. Humans evolve even within the lifetime of a short relationship. That is why many end up in separation. Those who prevail will change anyway. What was terribly urgent and important last year may be passé this year. Love will overcome some of the difficulties, but things will be different. You cannot go back to the way it was in your initial enthusiasm. You cannot make up for hurts, things missed, and the inevitable changes that life imposes on responsible people. Things will be different henceforth. If you are lucky you will still have the loving relationship with which you began.

Some of you will not survive.

The Weakness Of The Male

In legends and in history men succumbed to the charms of women, and did things in private that they would not do before their peers. There was Delilah of biblical times, Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, and more of recent times including in your lives I am sure who demonstrated man’s weakness for females.

A woman does magical things to a man, and the man in turn loses control of his logic while trying to satisfy his current addiction to the female charm. A coarsely framed thought by virulent feminists says, “A man is driven by his penis,” or such drivel. Yes, one can just as simplistically say, “A woman is driven by her hormones without logic.” Either claim is thoughtless and trivial. Generalizing like that makes enemies in both camps.

I like to think of this eternal attraction between male and female as the prime directive of perpetuating the human. It is demonstrated in lower lives, some mistakenly deemed human, but generally in mammals and even in other species. There is nothing wrong with sexual attraction. It is what you do with it that may be good or bad. We all know the bad things, and I won’t say anything about them here.

The good things about sexual attraction between male and female is that on the long run it makes sure that humans procreate. The obviouos motivational and beneficial side effect is the enjoyment of the process. Homosexuality is ok as a sexual preference, regardless of the controversy about it being inherited or assumed. The only problem would be if humans were on the fringe of being unable to produce new offsprings, and that is definitely not the case. The human population is increasing at an alarming rate, as evidenced by wars, famine, and pollution.

Getting back to the main topic, which is the male’s reaction to the female’s attraction, I will say, “Bring it on.” I don’t have to do anything about it. I enjoy seeing a female under benign circumstances. I don’t mind admitting that females can do things to me that I suffer, even welcome. These are things I allow that some would consider showing weakness. Yes, I am weak when it comes to females. Not totally weak, for I still have a brain where logic dictates above all, aside from immediate reaction to assure survival. But reaction to female charm is my second most powerful emotion.

Consider the facts. Females are generally smaller and physically weaker than males. If males did not have this all-powerful drive, females would have been killed in early competition for food and shelter. They would have had no defense against the brutish males. So females came up with a powerful weapon: ensnare the brutish males in all that speaks of female. Scents of female can be devastating. A male would follow them to the end. The visual display of fat on a female defines her form. Sure, muscles are vital, but on the long run fat is what decides curves and such. Above all, the female's approach to life is nurturing, loving, tenderness, with few exceptions.

The males did not have a chance. Good thing that the females were not evil, or they could have killed off all males from day one. I guess it is a matter of evolution for survival. We need each other. We like each other. We love each other. We would not want to live without each other.

In a way this brings up the question of which came first, the attractive female or the attracted male. Either they were created simultaneously, or they evolved based on need. The early man had the means to bring home the meat. The early woman showed him where to put it. Those who did not follow the obvious lead, did not produce offsprings.

Distillation of the Essence of Female Led Relationship

When I started this blog I was eagerly grabbing anything to do with Female Led Relationship (FLR). I also got my thrills reading about D/S, CBT, orgasm denial, etc. But then, this was the year 2007, and blogspace has bloated since. It seems that anyone with access to the Internet via a computer or some lesser devices will post anything.

We are mired in crud!

I still enjoy selected blogs whose authors appear intelligent and not virulent in their dismissal of the lifestyle or personage of others.

Alas, some blogs are posted by beings of barely literate capacity although they might have something reasonable to say. I skip these subsequently, for I don’t need the annoyance of ill-composed prose, third-grade grammar, bathroom anecdotes, and no knowledge past what he or she sees on prime-time TV or daytime drama.

There are a few blogs with obvious intelligence, alas, tainted by perverse psychological depravity and fantasy space. See for example Ayesha. She and I have some things in common, yet, I see her as Typhoid Mary. Don’t get near her for fear of your life.

I have either matured or become jaded over the last three years. I still believe in the goodness of FLR on an individual basis. It can be wonderful when both partners sign up to it and honor it.

Over the last three years I have seen many FLRs come and go. Most failures were caused by lack of motivation, and subsequently, lack of commitment. I now believe that the only FLR that survives time is the one where the woman is a natural dominant, and the man is a natural submissive. This is my rule number one, the only rule of FLR. Other combinations are transitory. You are welcome to give me counter-examples, and I would be anxious to be informed. But you must be convincing. For example, the relationship to refute my claim would have to be long-term, such as more than a few of years, have a plan for the future, such as including moral, emotional, financial, and legal commitments, and having survived hardships. Those in current sexual infatuation with a person, and part-time-FLR need not apply.

If all you have is anecdotal evidence of FLR with a lot of sex, kink, and satisfaction of one partner or other, don’t bother to convince me. Regardless of the subject, such as CBT, cuckolding, spanking, slavery, etc., they are just sex play: take away the kink, and you are out of what you thought to be FLR.

If you are an avid advocate of female supremacy at the cost of males, you are in fantasy-land, and will have a hard awakening when your ass hits the road after being booted or abandoned.

If all you have is hope, fantasy, or a few sexual scenarios, have fun, but you are not within reality.

Real FLR partners are encouraged to respond (see for example, femdom101), and I would be happy to learn about you, and would support you. If I get no response, then I will conclude that I am right.

I Appreciate Erotic Photography

I realize that the appreciation of the view of females, males, or together is personal. We all have preferences. What I am putting forth here is expressing only my likes and dislikes. I don’t mean that other view or preferences are wrong in any way. I am sure that most of us would have some of these in common. There is a partial overlap in preferences. For example, most of us like to see the female form whether we are male, female, heterosexual, or other. I would like to have included samples of photography to illustrate my point. Alas, I have none that I own, and I rarely use existing photos without permission. I am sure that you can find many that would suffice for your satisfaction. It would be fun.

I like to see a female form in mostly upright position, such as standing, leaning on props. She may have one knee on a chair, for example. I like to see her from the front, side, and back. There is such a powerful feeling imparted by her muscles, curves, skin, hair. A face can be an additional attraction, but it can also be detraction.

I like to see the point of view from the camera focused midway on the figure to give it balance. Many photographers are insensitive to that. They are often taller than the subject, and focus on or near the chest and head. The result is a distortion that does injustice to the subject. I often say, “Beautiful woman, bad photography.”

I tolerate poses that emphasize individual features of the woman. Sometimes they can be very attractive. However, when all that is shown is her parts, that is, concentrating on breasts, thighs, bottom in various positions, I find that something major is missing. It could be that she would be less attractive in full figure representation. Then again, I think that the principals involved (photographer and subject) are just inexperienced or stupid. If the parts poses are part of a gallery that includes the full figure shots, maybe it is OK.

I dislike close-up explicit shots of genitalia, especially when manipulated. I find it demeaning to the subject. I admit that some of the subjects would be doing something more meaningful if they were intelligent, but still, there is no need for it. If I want to see that, I could go for the raunchy pornography sites for it.

I don’t mind seeing a male form occasionally. However, when it is involved in explicit sexual acts with the female, I get turned off immediately. I don’t resent the implications that two may have had sex, for sex is what is driving the world. I just don’t want to see that degree of open intimacy.

I dislike oiled skin shots. The whole idea of oiled skin makes no sense. If she has oil on her, and she sits or lies on some fabric, the oil makes a mess of it. I cannot imagine my wanting to kiss or lick her anywhere that is covered by oil. Even worse is when she is dressed in assumed sexy wear and still be oiled. It does not follow. But there are some situations where oil on the skin is palatable. For example, a beach scenario, or say, oiled-skin wrestling, but that is getting off the subject.

Makeup and facial expressions can be erotic, distracting, and repulsive. Any normal look between serious, pleasant, or happy is fine. I dislike the faked pursed lips and pseudo sexy looks. Even worse than that are the sneering looks some women put on in an attempt to look different. Some women should not try to put on these fake looks, for they end up looking ridiculous. The photographer should be cognizant of the detraction. Yet, they go with it, thereby producing a gallery of much less value.

Occasionally I run across photographs in which a woman is portrayed as a dominant. I am sure that it is in the eye of the beholder, or the limited minds of the principals. A woman without stature can put on any combination of plastic, rubber, metal, and will look ridiculous. She can wear those asinine platform boots laced up to her eyeballs with the crotch and back open, and look even worse. On the other hand, some women need not have any of that. They could be portrayed in almost ordinary clothes or something more revealing, and still convey strength of demeanor. Choosing the quality of the subject is as important as choosing the photographer.

Since I am talking about still photography, voice, acting, and sophistication are not a consideration, so there is no hint about her attractiveness in those dimensions. For all we know, she could be a complete dud but beautiful. Still, some women impart class, when others impart a base quality. It may be a combination of props, presentation, and photography in addition to her looks. I have my preferences of size, shape, facial features, age, etc. as we all do. I am also versatile when it comes to those. Here is where presentation makes all the difference.

Photographs of non-professional females in their own environment can be very endearing and sensual as long as they don’t get very explicit, as in “spread lips”. These are impromptu snapshots, not set up like the professionals. When they succeed, they get extra credit for being themselves.

Slow Going

In September 2008 I first mentioned that MW would require surgery. She has planned it, and did some preliminary medical procedures to get to the point when the deed would be done. Things did not turn out well. Unrelated issues got in the way. Then there was her perfectionist approach dictating that all must be well before she embarks on this frightening and potentially dangerous journey. This year she decided to pursue it again, and re-started her effort with the medics.

Meanwhile she had scheduled another romantic getaway in another state for us. Her reasoning was, “I get the surgery out of the way, then all will be well, and we will have sex as we did before.” It is endearing to think that she could and would do that.

I am more of a realist. I know that I can depend on myself. I also know that when one or more persons are in the scenario, and the action of one depends on response of the other, things aren’t done as I would like to have them. Considering that I am not in charge of who, what, and where for this case, we are at the mercy of the system. Sure, it will work eventually, but not within our desired time frame. As the weeks went by, she could see that her surgery and subsequent recovery would not happen before our romantic getaway. I assured her that the important issues were for her to be well and completely recovered. We could still have the trip, but the surgery will likely be done after that.

During some pre-surgery tests the doctor came up with two potentially troublesome discoveries. We are still waiting for the evaluation and further tests. The way it looks, there is no chance for the surgery before the trip. It is also possible that we will have to cancel the trip in case the tests indicate a need for urgent response.

I know that I have not been writing about our usual great sex lately. It is because all has been on hold. We still share a lot, but they are less sexually oriented. MW is worried, and that makes it more difficult to think about the pending surgery. I am careful not to even hint about what we have missed all this time. She has enough on her mind.