Few among you will appreciate my subsequent pontification. For one, you may not be attuned to esoteric dissertation along these lines. Then again, you may not give a shit. If you lose interest after half of the next paragraph, it means that you and I are not on the same wavelength. Still, I would like to know whether there are any of you out there who give a damn.
I used to like girls. Their lithe strutting on the athletic field twisted my psyche to lay myself at their feet in a manner of speaking. Acne notwithstanding I was willing to lay my soul in willing servitude if only they would acknowledge my presence in waiting along with all of my fellows in pain. We ached for their attention and vied for first in line if they ever allowed one of us to serve. Alas, we were inexperienced and naïve. Nothing happened that I would call memorable. Yes, we did exchange saliva from time to time, but no ownership on either side was assumed. Merely chance encounters took place regardless of all the plotting, planning, and arranging. These were prior to smart phones, television, and texting, Etc.
I matured in some ways, and became discerning in the selection. I began to distinguish between sexual attraction and deeper yet less primal feelings. Words became my tool in my fantasy where I imagined myself dealing with scenarios of wanted females who would appreciate me in some ways. Somehow they aged from the pimply silliness toward the curvy sanity that they demonstrated over my unbridled doglike slobbery attitude. Yes, I needed to show maturity to attempt to measure up to their superior attitude.
By the time I worked out the strategy, I was already behind. They wanted marriage with children in the plans, and a man reliable enough to pay the bills until … when? They simply played with me until finding out that I was not the one, and then they went on to other unsuspecting males to try again. Meanwhile I took time off from reality and did my manly adventures with guns and such. All it did for me was to want the sweet softness of females more than ever. It was as if I had fettered myself in order to make it easier for them to get me. Really, I wanted it. It happened, and I do not regret it.
Now, years later, I am still coping with the changing fauna of my environs. I still like girls, but it is now in a very different respect. Girls now are people whom I protect and treasure for their beauty, loveliness, and value. I am willing to die for them to protect them from harm and to give them a good life. The sexual component of my attention of youth has transferred to the total support for their success in becoming satisfied women in their own lives. As they and I age I appreciate their charms more then ever. My vista of female appreciation expands in depth and width. I no longer have strict rules about my former requirement. I enter any visage of female endeavor with an open mind. She may charm me with any attitude, aptitude, or attribute as she chooses. Maturity, intelligence, and calm demeanor will get my attention. Physical charms are on the same level, yet they are the first alert. I am now in more the protective mode then ever. I am alert to a woman needing help, or be protected from predators. I have become vulnerable to false needs. I am to be had for a penny. Females of any age can own me at a glimpse. I need a female to protect me from females.
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6 comments:
Time for a new book: "The protected protector".
Ayesha, I did not know that you cared. Naturally, I do not assume that you mean exactly what you say. Yet, I am willing to think of writing a new book with a slightly changed title, "Protect the Protector."
I simply fulfilled ur wish by letting u know there was at least one out there who “gives a damn”.
I always mean exactly what i say. It’s just that there r people out there who don’t get what i mean/say. Instead they r projecting their own stuff on what i meant/said, taking away that way its original meaning, corrupting same, and blaming me for that.
Makes sense - not just because of who you are, but also what you do for a living
Susan's pet,
I enjoyed reading how your outlook has changed, grown, over time.
M
I was on the verge of abandoning this forum, but maybe I will hang in there for a bit. Thank you all for your input.
Miss Milliscent, your comment is always like a cool drop of dew onto my parched lips.
Another One, I have seen much, experienced more, and am still waiting for wisdom. Meanwhile, my clock is ticking ...
Ayesha, we communicate in the English language. I have been exposed to some others, and been good with two. In all other languages I saw less chance of misunderstanding than in English. In this fascinating language we have a rich opportunity to say few words and make it possible to interpret them in various ways. Add to that a deliberate purpose of explicit obscurity, the recipient of our meaning may be clueless. I often play with words when I know that my audience can parse all of my meanings, choose the one that fits, and chuckle at the others. My more pressing problem is interpreting other people's meaning even within the context: some people are sloppy with words. My wife hates it when I question her after one of her colloquialisms just to be sure that I understand what she means. I would rather ask a question than give the wrong response. I am still learning, but in this language and social usage misunderstanging is inevitable. I could have been a diplomat, alas, I had other callings.
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