Monday, September 5, 2011

Ephemeral

With mankind’s having a relatively short life span relationships must be squeezed into short periods. For example, a man finds a woman who is perfect. He is in lust with no restrains. After a while he finds out that she has brought baggage, which he does not want to handle. Even while this were not to surface at an early date, she might find that he is not the perfect dildo that she assumed: he had idiosyncrasies that will cost her grief and time on the long run.

Am I saying anything new here?

We have either read about this or experienced it or both. So why is it that we start the perfect relationship, we write (blog) about it, and then it comes to an end? The reason is hope. Hope is irrational. Hope is illogical. Hope is nonsense. What we do is ignore rational reasoning, we ignore logical conclusions, and we go with feelings knowing that they are not based on reality. Predictably, the hope-based relationship fails, and then we are into another similarly ill-fated relationship.

It is a wonder that some relationships last. I happen to be in one. We have tried most of my fantasy things, and they worked for a while. I assume that we could have tried all of my wife’s fantasies and achieve the same. The problem is that any fantasy that is not part of one’s everyday routine requires effort by one or both partners. Putting forth the effort is where the implementation of the fantasy fails. You wake in the morning, you do your work, and then, you think of the obligation you have to fulfill your partner’s fantasy. Unless it is also your own fantasy, at some point you will think, “Fuck it! It’s not worth my effort.” And then the implementation of one’s fantasy is over. It may also be the relationship that is over if it was based on the fantasy alone in the first place.

I read blogs of happy couples with aberrant sexual habits: chastity, orgasm denial, cuckolding, sadism, and the like. They thrill me as I read; yet I am aware of their ephemeral nature. I have not yet read a blog where the author said, “This has worked just fine, but I am now too damn old to continue writing, so this is it. Good bye.” What I read instead is the lack of further postings on these formerly fascinating sites. It is as if the author has died, or his/her theme reverted to vanilla. That, or they have split. The question I have is this: “Are you in a long term aberrant sexual relationship that has lasted more than a few years?” If so, please speak, for you may be one of the few who survived.

7 comments:

Her Majesty's Plaything said...

Hi SP:

In a word "YES"! :-)

Susan's Pet said...

I knew there was a good chance that I would hear that from you.

Milliscent said...

Susan's pet,

There is a great deal of wisdom contained within this post. Well done.

M

Susan's Pet said...

Miss Milliscent,

I always appreciate your comment.

Emma Kelly said...

Hi Susan's pet,

It's funny that you should bring this topic up. I just saw a related comment in a book I'm reading by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny called Real Service.

It is hard to keep the energy and creativity going over many years. Em and I have adapted to our changing circumstances and accept that we can't go full throttle all the time. We kind of like slowing down and relishing what we have together in and out of kink.

We're moving into a more active period though it is decidedly different than what we've done in the past in some significant ways.

Twenty years and counting.

Best,

scott
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse

Susan's Pet said...

Scott,

No relationship is perfect. Even though I think that you and Em are in one, I am sure that I don't know some of the crucial details that could derail it. Still, yours is the only one that I have become to know to this extent, one that has survived the test of time. You and she must have some magic that others lack.

Emma Kelly said...

Hi Susan's pet,

No magic. We've just always liked each other and want to make each other happy.

Best,

scott
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse