Getting Really Serious ...

Female Supremacy Again

The idea keeps popping up in expected places. I was re-reading old posts of Katherine West. There is some controversy about her legitimacy as a dominant female. It has been suggested that she is anything but a female. Be that as it may, her writing has a depth that captures my imagination. From time to time she presents some captivating monologue and dialogue.

In one post she proposed the desirability of a matriarchal approach to leadership in the highest places. No, not the Pope, she was talking Hillary. Political views are as whimsical as D/S, so I would not care to argue the merits of her beliefs as much as I disagree with her on this particular issue. I give her my admiration, however, for she stated that (Friday, August 26, 2005) she lets her slave husband vote his conscience, as opposed to telling him how to vote.

In the Female Supremacy Realm all is not as it has been expected. Part of the reason is that when some segment of society assumes supremacy, they become overly full of themselves, and tend to anger not just the opposition, but also many of the supporters of the faith. A case in point is on-going revolt in the Clinton camp, and the wholesale abandonment of Mr. Obama upon his repeated success with putting his feet in his mouth. Blunders are not restricted along political or D/S affiliation. We are all capable of doing that. Just that, as I said earlier, me must not succumb to becoming too full of ourselves.

I have lived this mistake repeatedly in my life. Not that I consider myself stupid, but from time to time I become myopic. It takes another person with wider vision to gently set me straight. I become humbled. For a while.

In my currently humbled opinion I truly believe that a matriarchal leadership can be as good or better than the good-old-boy leadership that we have now. I also believe just as strongly that females can mess up a society just as badly as males have. Just think of the fallout of the feminist movement starting in the seventies. Talk about unintended consequences!

The Goddess Syndrome

I will try to titillate you on a lighter note. I am not an advocate of monotheism or the other. For any argument that I propose for one or the other, hundreds or thousands of counter arguments will be proposed. As we know, it is futile to argue beliefs and feelings as opposed to observables and facts. Given that, I have a jaundiced view of any person claiming to be God. Same goes for Goddess. The reason is, only God or Goddess would know what it is to be one, and I have not met one lately.

I may relax my view if the same person claims to be "A God" or "A Goddess". Now we are dealing with more or lesser supreme beings, so I will give the deluded person a break. He or she may believe whatever, as long as I am not expected to worship because of his or her belief.

At this point I know that I may be tried and sentenced [in absentia] as a heretic by the Female Supremacy advocates. They will say, “Goddess, yes, God, no.”

I will give you all a break and accept this definition of a goddess: “A woman whose great charm and beauty arouses adoration.” There is no mystique, no supreme being, no supernatural (godly) powers. Just a whimsical position either assumed or granted, depending on the perspective of the relationship. Of course, we are now back to D/S as a context of discussion. I like this interpretation, because it applies to individuals, not to gender or group. I love to submit to my wife. She is no supreme being, but that does not stop me from doing anything for her. She can ask, request, or command, and the result is the same. But my devotion is not based on her supremacy. It is based on mutual love, respect, and commitment. It is also a game that must be suspended from time to time to deal with harsh reality.

From Her Point Of View Continued … session 2

If I had to guess, I would say this:

• She likes to be in charge as long as being in charge does not increase the stress on her.
• She does not want the responsibility that comes with being in charge, but likes the power.
• She would love to keep the power, but delegate the details, unless the details have to do with something with which she is currently involved by choice.
• She does not want the constant drain on her attention that deals with all the things a leader in FLR needs to monitor: running the household, maintaining the health and welfare of the dependents, keeping the submissives happy, etc.

Most of the above involve work. Mental and sometimes physical work, which tends to take away from the attraction of being in charge. Well, at least for some people, and I think that she is one.

Each of us is unique in the way we see our roles in an FLR. I did say that MW’s role as a leader was bestowed upon her. She did not ask for it. For all I know, she did not, and still does not want it. She has not said one way or the other. Knowing her as I do, I would say that she is doing an admirable job of it under the circumstances. I can see her as a would-be monarch who suddenly inherited a queendom through succession rather than ascendancy. She did not choose her position. It was thrust upon her. As such, she makes the best of it, but don’t anybody complain, for she never asked for it or agreed to do it.

Given the above, I question, “Who in reality is in charge? The monarch or the steward?” I wish that she would let me know. From time to time she gets my attention with a course correction that has lasting effect. But even then, I am not sure whether she does it to reinforce her position as a leader, for her own kinky gratification, or to give me a token of what I crave.

Before you think that I am off on a negative thread, I assure you that is not true. I am curious, I would like some answers, and at the same time I fear finding out the answers. It may be better to let things go as they are, and never find out the whole truth. I am mostly happy with our relationship. I would change some components, but as I said, I may not be smart enough to make a change and know the total outcome, so I tend to leave things alone. It's the unintended consequences issue.

Poster Couple for FLR Part 2 - She is the De-Facto Leader

In a prior post I began to explain my views on the covenant between MW and me:

1. I Have Given to Her the Authority over Me
2. She is the De-facto leader
3. She Is not Expected to Do or not Do what I Require
4. She Has the Last Word
5. She Is not Expected to Give me a Life of My Fantasy And one final issue based on the above,
6. What if We Give Up on FLR?

This is part 2 elaborating on her as the leader.

Leadership is taken by force, earned, or bestowed. All three work, but they each require different maintenance methods. In our case leadership was bestowed upon MW. I wish that it had been taken by her, but she was just not that way. Given all of her desirable qualities, I would not want to take a chance on changing anything about her. A personal relationship is very complex, and I am not smart enough to even wish for a change, knowing that any change will cause other unforeseen changes. In war and politics this is often called unintended consequences.

MW does well as a leader in most cases, and when not, nobody questions her except herself. That does not mean that she will not ask me for advice, or will not listen to my input when or where she thinks it is appropriate. The meaning of appropriate here depends on interpretation, but there too, she decides, and I follow. All of this is predicated on my previous admittance, “I have given her the authority over me.”

I wish sometimes that she would take a more active lead. I am very pleased when she decides things that she, I, or we together will do. I want to be lead by her. I also know from experience that being a leader is a strenuous task. I can do it, and on the occasions when she chooses not to do it, I am there for her. But that does not change anything in our FLR.

Without trying to get kinky I wish to point out a powerful force in my life. I absolutely succumb to her female charms, be they visual, oral, aural, or based on pheromones. I also admit that most of this is based on sex. After all, I would never have married her without the sexual attraction. It is a good assessment of her charms that she keeps my mind riveted to her after so many years of marriage. We change in appearance over the years, and look different as we age. She remains my lover of past, present, and forever.

Getting back to the maintenance methods of leadership, there is one thing in common: one must reinforce it from time to time. Without reinforcement the underlings (I in this case) become lackadaisical, lose focus, produce less than they are capable or are expected of doing so.

A leader may have to rely on followers for many reasons. In our case it is seldom a matter of life or death, so we are more mundane. Still, when it comes to, say, time to clean the mistress bathroom, and it was not done when it was due, the leader needs to impart a reminder to the submissive.

Even when all is done perfectly, a demonstration of the power of one’s position is in order just to keep leadership in perspective. And that is part of the joy of serving in a loving FLR. Of course, this is only from my perspective.

The final point is perhaps the most important in the minds of submissives: sexual service. It is the driving force of all males in an FLR regardless of what they claim. They start with it; their attention is focused on it. They may sublimate their sexual desires from time to time, but it tends to pop up in unexpected places and in ways. More on this subject later.

Some might argue this, and you are welcome to comment. Show me a “selfless” (by his own description) male submissive in an FLR, one who is willing to serve without expectations, and I will show you a male who has all kinds of kinky thoughts on what he is getting or expecting to be getting out of his service. As I said before, with the rare exceptions of convenience and economics, sex is behind all relationships, be they FLR or vanilla.