Men In Panties

I was reading Mistress Kathy's blog the other day. If you are not familiar with her, and are interested in FLR, you must visit her blog. She is great. The topic of conversation followed her posting Random Thoughts On A Saturday Morning, and subsequent Men in Panties. I was going to add my two-cent’s worth, but then I started thinking that ranting on another person’s blog is inappropriate, yet I needed to elaborate on how I see things. So here I am.

It takes two to have a relationship, whatever works. Please don’t think that I am disparaging anyone as I say the following. I don’t get anything out of wearing panties in general unless it is used under special circumstances (see below). I have put on one of my wife's panties once when we were newly married. It was supposed to be funny. As for a man being humiliated by wearing panties, I don’t see the reason for humiliation, unless the man is one of those macho jerks who think that females are inferior. To me, panties are lovely feminine items with all positive connotations.

Aside from not wanting to wear panties (I don’t want to wear male underwear either), my wife’s beautiful underwear have an effect on me because I know where they have been, and that they contained that wonderful female anatomy which is the center of my being. I love to hand wash them and lay them out for her to wear again. Once in a while she had removed her panties and pulled them over my head while we were in a femdom sex play. One of my favorite wishes is that she uses it as a gag to keep me from being too loud when things get a little rambunctious.

Reading some of the blogs and the readers’ comments I think that there are more men who like to wear panties because they provide a link to the loveliness of a female which they, themselves, are unable to match or provide. I think that the humiliation aspect is less common, and may be misplaced, as in, “not having thought through.”

I realize that a teenage boy or a man being seen in panties in a locker room could have cause for embarrassment or humiliation. There are reasons for that. Some men think of women as sex objects, and have no respect for them as persons. Therefore, any man wearing panties is a sissy which is usually the derogatory term for a female. The other source of embarrassment is more basic to me. As open as I am in this venue, I don’t want to share any of these thoughts with people whom I know or whom I casually meet. Thus, if I were to have a fetish, and wearing panties may be considered such, I would want to keep it private. Even though the fetish or any such odd custom is benign, I would not want to burden another person with the knowledge. Then there is the potential for the unenlightened to try to take advantage of it.

In that sense a man wearing panties could be humiliating. As for my mistress forcing me to wear panties, or anything for that matter, while I am doing housework, I don’t see the humiliation aspect. Between her and me, she can do anything to me, including the wearing of female clothes. I may feel silly doing some of the things, but it would just add to my appreciation of the attention that she gives to me.

You can probably tell that I have been struggling with the justification of what is called “sissy” or “to sissify”. On the one hand, any man can be called a sissy, and everyone would know what it means: weak, unreliable, pantywaist, effeminate, etc.. On the other hand, some of these adjectives are related only by a far stretch of justification.

For example, a woman can be a “pantywaist” and that is all right since women generally wear panties. A man being called that is not all right, because he is supposed to have a cock and balls, and they don’t go with panties.

The other thing that is odd about the above list is that “weak” and “unreliable” are in the same context with “effeminate” which is another word for feminine. Generally that is not implied when talking about a female. A woman can be, and should be considered feminine, but there is no implication that she is by nature weak or unreliable. However, if a man is considered feminine, then ….

So you see my problem with all of this. I like to call a spade a “spade,” not “an implement used for moving crap.” Nothing seems to fit here.

So let’s decide once and for all, and begin to use the proper terms. Is a man wearing panties, or any female clothes, a sissy? Is a sissy a “pussy”, a wimp, an unreliable male with female characteristics? Are females endowed with such negative image that they can be used to present a man in a derogatory way?

Or is a man wearing panties trying to mimic the wonderful aura of a female, and is trying to do tribute to the beauty, softness, caring, sexy gender for whom he would give his life?

Or is it something between the two? But be careful of your attempt at justification of your answer. Be precise.

In my (less than humble) opinion a man wearing anything feminine is no worse or different than a woman wearing anything masculine. If it is done for deception, as by male or female transvestites, I still try to keep an open mind about it. I know that at some point the ruse will fail, and they will have to deal with it. If the purpose was for fun, and nobody was hurt, then I think that it is great. If it was done only for the joy of it, it is even better. I don't want to do it. If I tried, I would make a very unattractive "female." I just don't see the problem with it or with the humiliation aspect.

Poster Couple for FLR

Regardless of what I may have claimed or you assumed based on my writing, MW and I are not exactly the poster couple for FLR.

We, in the FLR movement, all have our own idea of what a dominant leading female and what a submissive male should be. Even though we largely agree in principle, I am willing to bet that not two of us would agree 100 percent on the details. The problem is that there are degrees of leaders and followers, and even the ideal combination is impossible to define. So how do we deal with the rest of us? I don’t know, but in any case, it is great fun pursuing, experiencing, comparing, and arguing the details.

For example, MW is not what I would call a typical alpha female. She is not even what I would call a great leader (she will probably have my ass in a vulnerable position for this). In the same vein, I am definitely not less than an alpha male, and I am somewhat of a leader, so I am totally unsuited to be a submissive. But neither comment by me should detract from the wonderful FLR that MW and I have. How can that be? Let me point out the ways.

I will be elaborating on the following covenant that are the bases of our FLR. Please withhold instinctive reactions to throw stones at me until you have read my description of the individual subject. Then comment all you want:

1. I Have Given to Her the Authority over Me
2. She is the De-facto leader
3. She Is not Expected to Do or not Do what I Require
4. She Has the Last Word
5. She Is not Expected to Give me a Life of My Fantasy
   And one final issue based on the above,
6. What if We Give Up on FLR?

I will give you the first installment here. You will have to wait for the others.

Poster Couple for FLR Part 1 - I Have Given to Her the Authority over Me

Oh my, that means that I had the power to do so in the first place!

Well, yes, in a way. A non-violent person does not just take over another person in our society. It takes both persons to accomplish that takeover. So, regardless of who does what to whom, at least in our case, I willingly gave to her the authority over me. That is not true in a legal sense unless backed up by the courts, but then we are not talking about that. We are talking about a loving personal relationship with one of the partners in charge.

This is not the “slavery” position in which I would have no property, no access to possessions, no social relationship, no outside world, unless she provides it. No, this is more of a benign ownership where the owner (MW) has my best interest while making sure that I do all that is expected of me in our behalf. This is easy for her, because it does not change anything outside of our FLR, but within the FLR she has all the rights. It is up to her what rights to exercise and what rights to allow me to exercise.

In a way the situation is comical. To the casual observer I am just a polite fellow. Only MW knows why I still do everything that I am expected to do even when we are with the unenlightened people. She is realistic enough to not expect me to do anything that would jeopardize our way of life, so we maintain a low profile unless we are in assured privacy. Only, MW and I know who holds my balls, so to speak, and I am very happy with it. This is sane and thrilling at the same time.

I will be dealing with the other parts of our covenant later. Do any of you care to comment on this part?