"i'm curious as to what changes you would most like to see made?”My answer began with,
“Asking this question could be rephrased as, ‘What is your favorite fantasy?’”
I would love to answer either of these questions, but I will not do so in the current context.
If you have read enough of my blog, then you know that I am somewhat of a jaundiced realist when it comes to FLR. The reason is that only a very few FLRs are what we could define in a somewhat strict sense, “A relationship in which a dominant female assumes and maintains leadership, and a submissive male follows her in all respects.” There are different flavors of this, and I am trying to live one.
Life is change. We evolve, develop, adapt. Nothing is wrong with trying to improve your situation. However, there is something odd about what we are trying to do. Maybe it’s the reason for trying to change, maybe it’s the method, and maybe it’s just the details. Here is how I see a submissive man trying to phase his life into an FLR.
How do I serve Thee? Let me count the ways.
Not in any particular order:
- You need not change a thing, just enjoy my devoted servitude.
- Acknowledge my services in cleaning, cooking, caring for the children, washing your car, etc.
- Tease me and deny me.
- Make me hand wash your underwear.
- Discipline me if I fail to serve you well.
- Take over all sex.
- Have sex in the kitchen, living room, dining room, broom closet, … with always you on top.
- Demand oral sex daily.
- Demonstrate your being in charge to friends and strangers but only in subtle ways.
- Take over handling family affairs, finances, and all decisions.
- Share me with your female friends for servitude.
- Have sex with other males and females.
- Share me with your male and female lovers.
- Have wild D/S, B/D, CBT, water play, and etc. sessions often.
- Make me wear feminine clothes.
- Keep me naked.
- Demand that I lick your toes.
- Demand long body and foot massages.
I am not suggesting that all submissive men want all of these and nothing else but these. I am not in any way trying to make fun of wanting or needing any of this. There is an overlap in various needs and desires between us. However, if you don’t have at least a few of these “rules” in your mind, you are not even trying to be in an FLR.
Some men are satisfied to be a leader in a relationship, and play with some of these rules occasionally. In a way it is somewhat like the closet transvestite who will dress, admire himself in the mirror, then put it away until next time. Between sessions he is all vanilla but with the tension building. Those of us who want something longer lasting will have to make sacrifices. This is were voluntary servitude comes in. The place where I draw the line is claiming that our women need not change a thing, but just to enjoy the benefits.
It takes two to have a relationship. The only time that most or all of these get turned around is when the woman initiates the FLR, and trains her man to follow. “To dream the impossible dream …” OK, it could happen. I have seen some writing on it, and I don’t know how much is just a man’s fantasy. Most realistic writing appears to be about what I presented here. The man struggles against odds, reminiscent of his sperm swimming upstream with almost no chance of reaching and completing its goal. But the way to get there can be fantastic!
I ask you,
"How do you separate fantasy FLR from a real one?"
"Do you care?"
"Do you know when you have finally arrived?"
At the beginning I said that I will not answer the two questions in this context. The reason is because, if I were to say that I want to change something, then it would be an automatic admission that I am not satisfied. It would also say that I would want my female partner to change in order to satisfy me. That just goes against all my my rules. That's not saying that my FLR is perfect according to my rules, just that my rules do not allow me to change it by my own decree. There is a subtle but real difference.
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