tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5441439346777358800.post6494123418344478016..comments2023-02-09T01:13:17.763-08:00Comments on HERS Forever: A Philosophical Dilemma of the Need to ServeSusan's Pethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09910157397713736597noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5441439346777358800.post-45209827594364622072010-03-22T08:41:30.603-07:002010-03-22T08:41:30.603-07:00All wise words!
I think it's important to kno...All wise words!<br /><br />I think it's important to know what you *actually* want, and to make the distinction between action and intent. <br /><br />It's OK to want fetish femdom, action...latex and micromanagement, plus complicated punishments and perverted erotic acts. It's unrealistic to expect somebody to go to all that trouble unless they're doing it *for* you or as an adventure. Very few women are as obsessively kinky as men. <br /><br />When she's taking you up the arse with a feeldoe, you can't really say, "See how I am serving you."<br /><br />If your intent is entirely to submit to her will, well then mostly it's going to be a case of supplying the real vanilla benefits offered by having a slave.<br /><br />My personal - non-24/7 - approach is to trade one for the other: offer the benefits of having a slave in return for being being treated like one. Anything else is a nice extra and happens or doesn't happen depending on her mood. To me this makes the kinky relationship authentic.Giles Englishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06078027627281038866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5441439346777358800.post-18426000683353006452010-03-21T17:59:23.984-07:002010-03-21T17:59:23.984-07:00I realize that I am preaching to the choir here. I...I realize that I am preaching to the choir here. I just want to point out where we really resonate. You said among other things, "It's probably better to walk away from the relationship if you don't think you are in it for the long haul." I agree, yet I want to stand back and say, "Maybe you should not get into a relationship if you are uncertain or uneducated in the details."<br /><br />The bad things I see are that people waste years of their lives to find out that they made a bad decision. The reason for this is that they were not educated in decision making. This goes back to the lack of application of ancient wisdom and lack of education. I would love to elaborate on that, but this is not the forum for it.<br /><br />Thanks for your support.Susan's Pethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09910157397713736597noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5441439346777358800.post-59892154566982741192010-03-21T16:05:19.883-07:002010-03-21T16:05:19.883-07:00Hey SP:
Insightful post. You raise a lot of intri...Hey SP:<br /><br />Insightful post. You raise a lot of intriguing questions and leave us to answer them for ourselves. As it happens I have been struggling with some of these conundrums myself lately. <br /><br />There is no one solution or formula that will "fix" the problems you describe. Working them out requires genuine love, trust, understanding and compromise on both sides. <br /><br />If you are a submissive male you should be honest with your S.O. about your needs, wants and desires while at the same being realistic about your expectations and not pressuring her. That can be a bit like walking and chewing gum while riding a unicycle. It is not impossible but it is challenging and yes you will occasionally fall off the bike. <br /><br />Subbies need to make sure their expectations are realistic and their heads are screwed on straight. Long lists of demands probably won't cut it. Unless you want to pay a professional it is highly unlikely that you will have all of your fantasies fulfilled. If you sincerely want love to be a part of the equation you must be willing to compromise.<br /><br />If you are a women in a sincere loving relationship with a submissive man it really does help if you are genuinely dominant otherwise chances are slim you will be able to make a go of it. One way or another you have to take stock of your situation and realize that the submissive tendencies in your man can either be a tremendous benefit to you or can cause you great distress. (In certain cases it may be a bit of both. I believe that has been the case for Her Majesty.) Above all you must realize and accept that you will never change him. <br /><br />Some women start off eagerly indulging a partner's submissive/masochistic tendencies in the beginning of the relationship only to flag off later and lose interest. That will only result in him feeling betrayed and disillusioned. It's probably better to walk away from the relationship if you don't think you are in it for the long haul. Other women allow their men to get their needs met on the outside with a professional. That is not true for the vast majority however.<br /><br />Long term D/s relationships are extremely challenging and bear little resemblance to the pretty fairy tales and jerk off fantasies portrayed on most of these blogs. They take real work, solid commitment, compassionate understanding and flexibility on the part of both partners involved. There is no one set of rules for how to do this correctly. Everyone is different and there is not one right way to do this. You will have to find out what is right for you and your partner through trial and error, forge ahead and do the best you can one day at a time. <br /><br />Whew! My response was longer than your post! :-pHer Majesty's Playthinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07185896552621339359noreply@blogger.com