Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Screaming Dominance

Home Again

Before I get to the subject of this posting I want to say that I did take the proposed trip. I was unencumbered. I did not take advantage of my freedom, because I would have felt guilty. I am home again, and MW has put me back into the CB2000. The funny thing is that while MW is not watching, I could pull the little guy out, have a round of drinks with him so-to-speak, and send him back into the cage. MW would probably not know. I actually wish for an inescapable cage, somewhat like one of Lori's devices. Alas, the price is more than we are willing to pay for a toy.

A Tolerance For Stylized Domination

Most of you who are reading this share an interest in D/S, and in particular, FLR. I try not to ridicule or condemn people who in my opinion are on the fringes. If I stumble across some material that is not to my liking, I will take a mental note of it so that I can avoid it in the future, as opposed to leaving a nasty comment or calling them names. I do sometimes think, “This is crap,” and then skip over it. But even I have my limits. Given that, I still have a lot of latitude in finding common ground and pointing out fakery and futility. Actually, that is where much of the fun is in writing.

With respect to D/S there is a tremendous range of practice. We tend to find a niche for ourselves while at the same time try to expand our limits. I call this escalation. Whether you are in a committed relationship, date around, or just wishing, your position defines your limits. One extreme is being single and using professional services. The other extreme is being long-time married and working within its confines, so-to-speak. But in all cases we tend to develop a preference for our style of domination or submission.

I have decades of real experience, but not with all the fringes that the subject covers. My real experiences make me reliable witness within the narrow confines of my preferences. I admit that aside from my personal experiences most of what I say is an opinion based on printed or web-based literature. I have done a lot of reading and thinking like most of you, so I am full of opinion.

My Failure to Find Thrill in Pornography

I have talked about this in an earlier posting. However, since it is still on my mind, I must not have done it justice. Pornography can be ridiculous. Based on my observation, with few exceptions, it is provided by people of limited capability and intelligence. The producers might get lucky and earn enough to cover their expenses. In spite of their inherent stupidity they appear to persevere relying on consumers who are not very discriminating in their tastes. I am not saying that consumers of pornography are stupid. I think what happens is that the producers assume some stupid things. One producer will imitate the other hoping that he can cash in on the interest. Meanwhile the consumers are left with nothing but useless crap.

I have looked at some samples in the name of research. I am sad to admit, however, that pornography as it is portrayed has nothing to offer for me. For example, the previews or teasers (sometimes mistakenly called “trailers”) would show a couple in some form of sexual act. It could be a number of things, but let’s assume something basic like the stuff that the birds and the bees do. I can look at this preview for a few seconds to get the gist of the rest. But even after a few seconds it begins to look like a video player that is stuck in place and keeps replaying the same scene: hump hump hump … or such. I can’t see how this can be of interest for more than a few seconds. Yet, that is what the preview suggests, assuming that you are interested enough to hand over some virtual cash for the privilege of seeing more of it.

Then there is the ultimate of consummation: the man ejaculates over the surface of the partner-in-rut. I think that someone is trying to make a point here. Just that, I fail to see what the point is. It could be that the only way the producer of the video can prove that there was indeed a consummation, is by showing the proceeds in gooey detail. Well, it might work for some.

I always try to put myself into the place of the victims in these videos, and ask, “If I were the man in this scene, and had this willing, able, and attractive female providing half the pleasure, what would I do? Would I prolong our pleasure by feeling her all over with my hands? Would I try to feel her with my entire body? Would I try to enjoy her scents, her flavors? Would I try to give her pleasure before I took mine? Or would I rush through the process and hump just for the sake of humping? Would I pull my cock out of whatever orifice I was humping just as I was about to orgasm and spray stuff all over her?” Sheesh! Talk about self-inflicted ruined orgasms!

Aside from the spilling of juices, another prevalent scene is the strangely contorted positions taken by the participants. I have done some experimenting in sexual positions, and liked some of them. But the way these porno participants do it ranges from unsatisfying to dangerous. I think the point in each case is to enable the photographer to prove that the penis is in one of the available orifices most of the time, but then it must move on to the next. I think that what all these people lack is imagination. They have to be so explicit as to be able to convince any moron watching it.

I am sure it was some man who came up with this practice, and it seems that most producers of this sort of entertainment can’t see the futility, so they keep re-creating it. Please, won’t you all do something about it? Like maybe not pay for it? Or am I wrong?

Videos add a dimension of time and sound. In my search for the Holy Grail I could have turned off my sound and would have been better off. “Slap, slap, …” produced by two bodies impinging do not enhance my enjoyment. Then there is the dialogue: “Oh baby, oh God, do it, do it …,” etc. I guess that does away with the need to pay a writer and learning a script. All the action is adlibbed and reused all over.

Speaking of skipping the sound, I prefer still shots to videos. With videos they seem to feel compelled to outdo competitors with the suck and fuck mentality. At least with still shots I can take a fraction of a second to decide that what I see is crap, or something with inherent beauty. Of course, inherent beauty can still be ruined by bad composition and bad background. I have carefully researched web sites for photographs of beautiful females of certain characteristics. A number of times I find one, only to be disappointed when they gravitate to contortionist heterosexual activity, even worse, fellatio of the worst kind. You would know the scene: the female has an 8-inch male member embedded to the hilt in her throat while looking at the camera. I understand intimacy between two people, but why would a woman look at the camera when she is supposedly trying to cause an orgasm in her partner?

OK, I am jaded. I may not have seen it all, but I know crap when I see it.

I Really Miss A Good Femdom-Style Movie

For many years I have wished to acquire some movies with an underlying or even overt femdom theme. Even though I searched, I admit that I have not spent any money on them the last several years based on the synopsis provided: orgies, serial blow jobs, huge cocks, huge breasts, gang bangs, etc., were not what I wished to find.

In my early years I got lucky, sort of, to find a couple of “educational videos” and one movie. The educational videos were by the lifestyle domme Dianna Vesta. Aside from being knowledgeable and reasonable, she was also beautiful and to my taste, at least at the time when I bought her video. One of the few movies that I acquired was “Exit to Eden” in which Dana Delany and Rosie O’Donnel had significant roles. I found them both beautiful and very attractive in the context of the story. Although the movie did not stay close to the book by Anne Rice on which it was based, I still enjoyed it very much. It was rather silly and unreal, but there was female dominance in a benign way. Voluntary pain and suffering are good as long as they are for a purpose. They must be appreciated, and with some semblance of dignity. It was so in this movie. It was sensual, provocative, and not blatant.

Lately I have concluded that femdom movies don’t exist. There are videos similar to the porn described above. They portray participants who are as attractive as bums lying in their filth behind a dumpster in some alley. They are as real as the hump and squirt variety of the fuck-and-suck videos. I again wonder whether anyone actually pays to see this stuff. In a femdom video, if a female whose every third word is “fuck” or “fucking” screamed at some poor schmuck, she gets enough time from me to hit the delete button. Then there are the “real D/S” where some skinny unattractive females in ridiculous attire sort of whip hairy-assed scrawny male victims. The females usually wear costumes that are totally dysfunctional and ridiculous. They also don’t seem to know what they are doing. The males often are given paraphernalia to wear that make no sense even under the circumstances, for example, spiked collar around the neck.

There are some movies touted with “famous porn actresses”. The movie may actually have a story that was written on a napkin while eating a tostada at Taco Bell. But that is not what I am wanting. I want a story that could be real. I want people who can act in a convincing fashion, just as in regular movies. I am not looking for on-going orgies. I don’t want to see men squirting all over the place. I could not care less for the fuck and suck scenes unless they are between two people who have a reasonable history together. You know, like you and your regular partner would after a good buildup of foreplay. I want to see some romance, some tension, and some subtlety. Am I expecting too much? Am I being too romantic? Is there anything out there that would come close?


Nolens Volens said...

It is not too much to ask for in "realism" from all involved in the adult industry. I grew up watching porn from the 70s all the way up to now. Saw the evolution of how everyone looked - from all natural and full bushes to fake tits to total shave, from quality film to videocamera film to online vids, etc.

What I am seeing now is the jump to the action with endless loops, like you said. I would rather watch amateurs with shoddy camera angles as long as I get to watch the whole thing, from foreplay to undressing to more foreplay to sex. Money shots are unimportant.

Money shots were the ticket in the 70s and 80s. Not anymore. Looping was a time-saving technique that evolved from the videocamera era that became obsolete a month later.

What's the solution? Real writing, real situations, real settings. None of the mansion shit. None of the fancy cars. None of the boss/secretary shit.

The Happy Cuckold said...

Compliments for a long and interesting train of thought.

When I am aroused I have to admit I do enjoy porn. I don't tent to just watch it for the action but insert my own fantasies into the action taking place or the people participating. In other words I use porn as a seed to feed my own stories inside my head, it gives those stories a kind of reality.

I admit to doing the same in normal everyday life as well. I notice a woman in a leather skirt and high heels, for example, and soon my mind races off to create some fantasy world which contains images of the woman I saw. I do that with porn too.

little shaun said...

I often wonder the same things. If I was any sort of a risk taker at all, I'd love to start my own porn company that made realistic content.

Giles English said...

Yes, I'm fascinated by the idea of authenticity - femdom, but in a realistic slave owning culture where the women don't dress like escapees from a fetish mag.